What's it like to live in a patriarchal family?

We've all heard that Fan's mother and Su Mingyu's mother are both terrible. Now there is Pan Guiyu, the mother with a beautiful room in the TV series "Anjia". I believe that people who have watched TV series must hate this mother.

Let's start with my best friend's mother. Growing up with girlfriends, I witnessed all kinds of grievances and bullying.

Give her an alias first and call her Xiaohua. Xiaohua's family has three children. She is the oldest child. Since she was born, her mother has often had trouble with her parents-in-law. So she left her when she was five years old and went to her grandmother's house to have a baby. Because of family planning, you can only escape from life. I remember Xiaohua recalling the scene at that time, with tears in her eyes and staying all the time. The most hateful thing is that her mother said Xiaohua left her because of poor grades. This made Xiaohua deeply blame himself. So she made up her mind at that time that she must study hard.

She and I are classmates in primary school, junior high school and high school. Our primary school and junior high school are in the countryside. At that time, there was only one class in one grade of primary school, and there were only 18 students in our class. Her grades have always been good, especially in Chinese, composition and physical education. Strangely, at that time, she was thin and small, with dark skin and running so fast. Once in a sports meeting, she won the first place in the 100 meter. I couldn't help but run over and ask her what's the secret? She told me that she was often beaten by her mother, and it would be hard to get caught if she didn't run. I suddenly felt sorry for her for no reason.

Let's continue to talk about Xiaohua. Later, when Xiaohua was seven years old, her mother came back from her grandmother's house and brought back two children, a girl and a boy. More than two years have passed, and Xiaohua has forgotten what her mother looks like, so she saw that this strange woman didn't call her mother. In addition, the neighbors next door are gossiping that Xiaohua's mother doesn't want her, and she doesn't want her if she has a younger brother and sister. She came to my house and cried. I know that feeling, because my family is also three children. But Xiaohua didn't hate her mother, but took good care of her brothers and sisters, taught them to walk and took them to study. Just like another mother.

But her mother is not good to her. Let me tell you what happened to her. Once, her mother was nursing her brother, and a bird was chirping nearby. Xiaohua was afraid to disturb her brother and drove the bird away, but her mother slapped Xiaohua directly. Xiaohua's face was swollen and she cried for a long time. I really feel very unreasonable. Also, Xiaohua's father has never studied and can't read, so he doesn't have a job, but he especially likes surfing outside. Xiaohua's mother always takes Xiaohua as a punching bag. Xiaohua's father punches and kicks Xiaohua as long as he doesn't go home. Xiaohua used to be a face without scars, but now it looks full of nail prints. I was beaten by my mother. I heard Xiaohua say that her mother would beat her with a belt, a bamboo stick and a broom, and even cut her with a sickle (a tool for mowing grass in the countryside). Fortunately, Xiaohua's grandfather appeared at that time and stopped her crazy mother. You may not believe it, but this is a very real story that happened around me. Every time Xiaohua tells me, her eyes are full of tears. I really feel sorry for her.

One more thing, you should be prepared. Once, Xiaohua was almost strangled by her mother. The thing is, Kobanawa's brother had an argument. It is obvious that his brother did something wrong, but he went to complain. Xiaohua's mother came and slapped Xiaohua directly, while her brother was whispering. Xiaohua cried at once, but she wanted to explain the truth to her mother, but her mother just wouldn't listen. On the contrary, Xiaohua slapped her for talking back, and even pushed her to bed and pinched her neck. Xiaohua has a strong desire for survival and quickly said, "Mom, I dare not do it again. Mom, I was wrong. I was really wrong. " This just came out of the dead once. At that time, Xiaohua's face was red. The moment my mother let go of her hand, she was breathing at the top of her lungs and lying in bed tired. You may not think this is your mother, but what I want to say is that this is a true story, an unknown part of many rural areas, and a shadow in the sun.

Xiaohua's mother hated Xiaohua very much because her first child was not a boy, so Xiaohua's mother wanted to strangle Xiaohua at that time. Moreover, Xiaohua's mother's education level is not high. She graduated from junior high school and Xiaohua's father graduated from primary school. She belongs to people who haven't read books, because she doesn't know many words. In addition, the countryside lives with her parents-in-law, and Xiaohua's grandparents have never read a book. Many of Xiaohua's relatives have never studied, so everyone thinks it is normal for a mother to beat and scold her children. Even if she killed her child, it doesn't matter. Because she was born by herself, it doesn't matter if she strangles herself. She has no legal concept.

Xiaohua thought about suicide several times, but with my comfort, she gave up the idea.

When I was a child, Xiaohua did math homework and had no time to eat. My mother tore Xiaohua's homework, which caused Xiaohua to be beaten by the math teacher (the math teacher in our village is particularly abnormal and likes to hit people). Worst of all, Xiaohua's mother not only doesn't care about her mother, but also always regards Xiaohua as a tool in her growth process. Xiaohua's mother never combed her hair once, and even forced her to wash the clothes of the whole family when Xiaohua was ten years old.

Xiaohua's position in the family is very low, and her brothers and sisters don't respect her. Because of her parents' support, she can't talk back to her brothers and sisters, otherwise she will be beaten by her parents.

In addition, the distribution of educational resources here is unfair. At that time, there were only six classes in one grade of high school. Most people admitted to universities relied on artistic development, and most of them got an ordinary one by cultural achievements. So Xiaohua didn't go to college, but went to a junior college. Because of this, she has no position at home in front of relatives.

Xiaohua's parents thought that she would find a job to raise her younger brother and sister after finishing college, but Xiaohua told me that she didn't want to live like this, and she didn't want to be a tool to make money. She is a girl with a dream, and she also feels that even people who live in sewers have a chance to look up at the stars. I am very supportive of her idea. Later, she went to a college to study English, and her major was the same as mine. Her college is extremely competitive, only enrolling 13 students. So Xiaohua was under great pressure at that time, and was prepared to either go to a good university or not study. At that time, the enrollment policy of their school came out late, so Xiaohua only had one month to prepare, taught himself six English books from other schools, and insisted on listening for one month at noon, because that university was upgraded to three courses, integrating English, listening and speaking. The result is ok. Xiaohua passed Grade Four at one time, passed the unified examination and entered a very good university. By the way, Xiaohua won a scholarship of 10 thousand yuan in junior college, and she won all the national inspirational scholarships for three years in junior college. At the same time, Xiaohua took a part-time job during her internship in junior college and earned 20 thousand yuan, but she didn't ask for money from her family for that half semester.

Give yourself 2000 yuan a month for living expenses and go shopping. I was super envious of her at that time. But I feel sorry for her.

Because, although she succeeded in promotion, she will stay at home for several months before the epidemic is over. I didn't want to say anything at first, but Xiaohua was bullied at dinner today, so I wanted to write something to her.

Her brother is now in grade three, and the senior high school entrance examination is coming soon. Xiaohua's mother plays games on her mobile phone every day, and then she doesn't come out for dinner. And I don't study very well, and my Chinese score is over forty. Think about his emotional intelligence, and he can't speak. I feel wronged for Xiaohua, who is seven years younger than Xiaohua, but when he scolds Xiaohua, everyone next door can hear him. It is said that Xiaohua's score in the college entrance examination is poor, only 400 points, and he was admitted to a college, which is useless and not up to standard. Besides, people like you can't get married without a boyfriend. In fact, Xiaohua has a boyfriend, but due to family reasons, Xiaohua broke up. Because when Xiaohua told others about his experience, everyone didn't feel the same way, so it was difficult to trust and accept the girls in this family. ) Anyway, it's something that makes Xiaohua very embarrassed. Xiaohua's parents won't care. Even, Xiaohua's mother took the lead. Once we heard Xiaohua's mother yell at Xiaohua loudly, "I should have strangled you when I was born, you smelly bitch." It will cost us money when we are a few decades old, and we will die when we are eighteen. " (100% restore little flower mother's words. ) Since high school, Xiaohua has spent all his money on an account book, and it is only natural for his younger brothers and sisters to spend money. Also, Xiaohua once cried and told me that her mother had prepared money for her brother to marry a wife. Her brother is only fifteen and Xiaohua is twenty-two. Xiaohua's mother said that there is no dowry, she earns it herself, and everything at home belongs to her brother. Xiaohua lives alone on the third floor. There is no fan or air conditioner. There is only a table and a bed in the room, and there is a bathroom outside the door. My brother and sister live in air-conditioned rooms. Even my sister lives like a princess room, and my brother lives well. The four of them live on the second floor. But Xiaohua lives on the third floor and can call me. Anyone who is unhappy can tell me. Xiaohua did suffer a lot before, but now she has been demolished, so the situation in Xiaohua's family is better, but her father will not use the money from demolition to create more money, but to buy cars and cigarettes. I really feel sorry for their family.

Finally, it's over I know that there was a lot of preference for boys in the past, so there is a reason for the imbalance between men and women now. Moreover, this terrible mother, most of whom are uneducated and prefer sons to daughters, will be so cruel to her children. Another reason is that they were not treated well when they were young. Just like the scene in the movie "How to Be Home", it is also a tragedy that parents only know about life, but they don't raise it. But I think Xiaohua is lucky because she changes her destiny through her own knowledge. She is also a girl with stars and seas in her heart. She told me that she planned to take the postgraduate entrance examination and then find a very good job to support herself during the postgraduate entrance examination. I really support her and support her to stay away from this family. I believe that readers and friends who have read my article also have a lot of experiences, so share them. Life is varied, and we have to work hard to make progress.