Love between parents and children

Love and communication between parents and children is a way of communication between people in the past. Parents and children need more isomorphism, especially adolescent children, and parents should pay more attention to communication and exchange between them. The following is the love between parents and children.

Parent-child love 1 parent-child love, these four classes all make me very hard. One of the reasons is that the text itself is difficult, and some sentences in the text are obscure and difficult for students to understand. Some of Fromm's views embodied in the text are still debatable; The second reason is that students don't preview before class, which makes my teaching process more difficult. I must give them a lot of time to read this text in class. Being unfamiliar with the text, they have some difficulties in answering questions. The third reason is that I don't have enough guidance in class, and I don't give them proper guidance after throwing questions, so this is also the occasional silence in class.

The revised teaching design makes students talk more and have a wider topic, and students speak enthusiastically, so the ice-breaking situation becomes lively! When I asked my classmates to discuss the difference between "I love you because I need you" and "I need you because I love you", they argued fiercely, which achieved my preset purpose of active class. But then their debate deviated from the theme, and I didn't take back the thread in time, so that this link broke up and failed to achieve my expected purpose.

Firstly, this paper introduces the main point of this theoretical monograph, Love between Parents and Children, which is taken from The Art of Love. Through the introduction of this work, students know that this book mainly discusses that love is an active ability, a matter related to people's maturity, and an art that can be learned by training their discipline, concentration and patience. Knowing this is instructive for students to understand this text.

Second, read the text. Reading the text is divided into three steps. Read the text roughly for the first time to understand the general content and ideas of the text. The second intensive reading, the third part combined with blackboard writing problems to read the text. About this lesson, I designed the following three questions:

1. What are the characteristics of people's ability to love at various stages of growth?

2. The article talks about two principles of love: "I love because I am loved" and "I am loved because I love my lover"; What is the difference between "I love you because I need you" and "I need you because I love you"?

3. When I was growing up, what was the expression of maternal love and fatherly love? What is the difference?

4. What is a mature person?

The first two steps need a class, and my class is two classes in a row, so I will start the third step while the iron is hot in the second class:

Student interaction, teacher-student interaction. Group discussion has always been the main form of Chinese classes in my two classes. According to the distribution characteristics of student seats, I divided into several groups, the number of which ranged from 4 to 6. I don't think there should be too many group members. There are too many to organize. Second, it is easy to become a mere formality. Three or four people or five or six people sit at the same table, which is more convenient for discussion and easy to concentrate opinions.

What the students are discussing in this class are some problems that I arranged in the last class. These questions are all carefully designed by me, and they are what students should master in this class of parent-child love. With the accumulation of reading and thinking in the last class, students have something to say in the discussion. The discussion atmosphere of the students is very lively, in fact, they are all discussing. Five minutes later, the discussion was over. As soon as it is over, a group of people will stand up and show their understanding of the first question: what are the characteristics of people's ability to love at all stages of their growth? This question examines students' ability to summarize and summarize the text. The second student's answer was good, but not comprehensive, and then some students added it, which soon became clear. Then came the third question ... everyone spoke enthusiastically, and the language was fluent, concise and thoughtful. This class ended with a heated discussion and a warm speech. The students are very happy, and so am I.

Reflections on the teaching of parent-child love

After the last class of internship, the love between parents and children suddenly felt a lot easier. When I was lecturing in Class 5 the day before, it was probably because the students in the first two classes had no spirit, and the whole class seemed relatively deserted. Many students are half-hearted, and they have to repeat the questions and guide them in detail to get into the state. Of course, I also have many questions. Although the class was prepared a week ago, I didn't modify the lesson plan until the day before the teacher asked me to attend the class because I thought it was well designed and familiar. I found that the order of the lecture content could be adjusted again to make the levels of each part clearer. In class, because there was no trial lecture before, the two classes were connected together, and I found that I was not very familiar with some content sequences of the text, and the sentences were not concise during the lecture, so I spoke more. One more question. I speak too fast, which makes students think I'm nervous. In short, the feeling of this class is not very good. However, when I finished class, all the students clapped their hands, which may be a form of farewell. Let me have some comfort in my heart, but I am also ashamed. I blushed and left quickly.

The next day, I also took this course in Class 7 and took two classes in a row. I have been worried that the children in Class 7 will be bored, perhaps because the instructor has repeatedly stressed that this is the last class of my internship. Students listen carefully and think about my problems. Class 7, after learning the last lesson, I spoke a little slower and felt much more relaxed. When asking questions, we should prompt the more difficult questions so that students can think and answer them easily. I was relieved that the first class passed smoothly. After class, a student took the initiative to talk to me: "Teacher, don't be disappointed. Chinese class is like this. Teacher Hu is also like this in class. " He comforted me for fear that I would be sad. In fact, I am very satisfied with the students' performance. Their enthusiasm is not through scrambling to answer questions, but through seeing their attentive eyes. So I was not disappointed, on the contrary, I was moved by his understanding. I hope the second class can also end smoothly. But when students get serious, an inexperienced teacher like me will be anxious.

There is something wrong in class. In the article, the author thinks that fatherly love is conditional and maternal love is unconditional. I asked them to give their opinions. In fact, what I presuppose is that fatherly love can also be selfless, and maternal love is conditional. Results The students' answers tend to be that the essence of fatherly love and maternal love is the same, and they are both selfless. I didn't focus on fatherly love, but I wanted to emphasize that maternal love is conditional. Therefore, this question is very unexpected to me. For this philosophical article, many students disagree with the author's point of view, which is what I hope to achieve. It's just that I still have to give a reference answer to this question, so I have racked my brains to say it, and now I forget how to say it. It's not clear enough anyway. Because they have different perspectives, in fact, from the perspective of students' thinking, I agree with them. But in the article, I still want to explain the author's point of view to them. After this hurdle, the back will be much smoother. My expanding part can stimulate students' interest and make them listen quietly until class is over. When I said school was over, they remembered and hurried to the canteen.

Compared with these two classes, I improved my teaching methods and my pronunciation was much slower. Familiar with articles and lesson plans, and coherent lectures; For the design of the text, the time is well grasped. But there are still some shortcomings, mainly because you can't connect sentences fluently during lectures. Sometimes I can't think of a proper word to express a sentence. When I am excited or nervous, I will speak faster unconsciously, so students can't hear clearly. In addition, the design of the text was not considered more deeply and the response was not flexible enough, so it was somewhat unexpected. This situation could have been avoided if it had been considered before.

Anyway, the internship is over. But the real teacher's career is just around the corner, so we should improve our own shortcomings and strive to show our best style on the podium.

Love between parents and children 2 If parents don't know how to listen to their children's feelings, children will refuse to communicate.

Parents are eager to know what their children are thinking and talk to them from time to time, but countless parents are disappointed to find that the door to their children's hearts seems to be tightly locked, and no matter how hard they try, they can't open it.

Why is this happening? Mo Miaoai, a consultant at the Psychiatric Clinic of Guangzhou Family Doctor Clinic, said that this is generally due to two reasons:

First, parents do not attach importance to their children's feelings, which are the core of family communication;

Second, parents put themselves on the role of "correcting children's problems" and do not fully realize that children's problems are often a reflection of parents' poor educational methods. Therefore, when parents only want to correct their children's mistakes, they actually push their responsibilities to their children.

For these two reasons, it is not difficult to understand that children are unwilling to talk to their parents, or even completely close the door to communication. (This version of the text Wu Zhihong)

The eight-year-old boy tried to commit suicide by hitting a wall.

Mo Miaoai told an example: 8-year-old Liang Liang (a pseudonym) is in the third grade in a primary school in Guangzhou. She likes to move around in class and turns a deaf ear to the teacher's tips and warnings. Finally, her parents took her to the Psychiatric Clinic to see a psychologist.

Liang Liang's father said that when Liang Liang was in grade one or grade two, he and his wife let Liang Liang go with the flow and paid little attention to him. He thinks this is the cause of his son's problems. After Liang Liang entered the third grade, he was repeatedly warned by the teacher at the parent-teacher meeting, so he began to strictly manage his son. During the day, he will drive his son to school and accompany him to finish his homework at night.

However, these strict methods obviously have no effect. Liang Liang's performance in school is getting worse and worse. In front of his father, Liang Liang is obedient, but when he gets to school, he is still the same, likes to talk nonsense and still ignores the teacher's warning.

Mo Miao was curious to know what was going on. She explained to Liangliang's parents that their education methods were too simple and did not take into account their children's feelings. They demand the unconditional obedience of Guangming and limit his life to "two points and one line" at school and home, but this goes against the child's nature and he will inevitably resist. At home, he didn't dare to resist, so he brought this unrealized resistance to school.

"If you want your child to behave better in school, leave him alone and give him enough independent space." Mo Miaoai said that she also gave them some specific suggestions.

However, more than a month has passed, and the problem of brightness has not improved significantly. In this regard, some parents admit that this is their problem, and they can't actually accept Dr. Mo's advice. Liang Liang's father said, "From this point of view, we think your suggestion is reasonable, but if we leave him alone, we can't do it." As soon as we saw him, we couldn't help but leave him alone. "

Not only that, but Liang Liang's attitude towards her parents has not changed. On the contrary, he is increasingly reluctant to tell his parents the truth. Because he found the feeling of being understood in the psychologist, he said with emotion, "They never understood me. I am satisfied that they can do one tenth of yours."

But a crisis quickly changed this situation.

On that day, Liangliang's father went to school and held a parent-teacher meeting. As usual, the teacher told him many clever questions. After returning home, Liangliang's father passed on the teacher's words to his son intact. Originally, he wanted to reprimand his son, but before he could say the reprimand, Liang Liang suddenly bumped into the wall.

Bright dad was surprised, and in a hurry, he blocked his son with his body. Although Liang Liang is only 8 years old, Liang Liang's father is still injured by being hit.

"Bright, what's the matter with you? What do you have in mind? Why are you doing this? " At this point, Liang Liang's father is just worried and upset, and there is nothing to blame. But no matter how he comforted his son, Liang Liang didn't say a word, and his expression was very stubborn.

Liang Ma also did her son's ideological work for a long time and didn't let him speak his mind. Only in Xin Zhiyuan's clinic did he open his heart to Dr. Mo.

Dr. Mo asked, "Listen to your father, you don't want to live?"

Bright and silent.

Dr. Mo asked again, "Why did you hit the wall? How did you feel at that time? "

Liang Liang was silent for a long time, and then said angrily, "I don't like them talking about me all the time."

Dr. Mo asked again, "Because you don't like what your father said about you, you thought of suicide?"

Liang Liang replied: "Yes! What annoys me most is why they always talk about me in front of my competitors. Do they know that every time they do this, I want to die! "

"competitors? Who are your competitors? " Dr. Mo asked.

"My cousin!" Answer quickly.

It turns out that Liang Liang has a cousin who is 1 year older than him. He is not only polite, but also has good grades, so he is taken as an example by his bright parents. He often compares him with Liang Liang, saying that Liang Liang is inferior to his cousin in some ways. My cousin happened to be at his house the day Liang Liang hit the wall.

Love between parents and children 3 What are the wrong ways of communication between parents and children?

First, criticize children.

A high school student went to cram school by bus, and accidentally fell asleep on the bus. The teacher called home to ask questions.

The mother will feel guilty when the child comes home. "Can you sleep at such a short distance?" I told you not to surf the Internet all the time at night, sleeping so late ... "

Although what the mother said makes sense, all she got was the child's dissatisfaction.

Originally, the child should be introspective at this time, but because he was scolded, he began to get angry, only feeling very angry. The end result is that the child has not been promoted, but the parent-child relationship has been destroyed.

At this time, parents are advised to think about the problem from another angle, understand what kind of assistance their children need through discussion, and encourage their children to use their brains to solve the problem of whether counseling can arrive on time.

Otherwise, the same situation will happen next time, and the child is likely to be taken away by emotions or not to go to cram school at all.

Second, criticize the children's friends.

Peer is a very important development topic in adolescence. During this period, the focus of children's life has changed from parental relationship to peer communication.

Once parents know that their children's friends have many problems, they will hope that their children can keep their distance from them and not communicate with them.

If parents tell their children directly, "Don't associate with XX, he will lead you astray" or "It's all XX's people who have caused your homework to regress so much." At this time, the child will not think that you care about him, but that you are attacking his friends.

Based on his sense of justice and face, he will definitely confront his parents to protect his friends. He thinks that adults only look at the surface and don't know the good of their friends. They also think that their parents underestimate themselves and distrust their ability to judge things.

At this time, how to communicate with children is the biggest challenge for parents.

A simple kind reminder does not mean that children can listen.

If you want to give your child life experience and wisdom, you might as well discuss it with your child from another angle.

Of course, even after this discussion is completed, we should continue to pay attention to the children's follow-up behavior, pay attention to the children's interpersonal communication in time, and nip in the bud.

Third, correct the trivial things in life.

Most parents don't appreciate the way teenagers talk and their attitude towards life. They usually have a pet phrase or a dismissive attitude.

But when parents correct "What's your attitude!" The communication relationship between them will end, or they will fall into a stalemate atmosphere with their own reasons.

If children occasionally blurt out dirty words or dirty words, it is likely to be a popular word of their peers or a word they think is cool.

If parents think it sounds harsh, they might as well use their own experience and wisdom to calm themselves down first, instead of directly taking what their children say as an attack on themselves, and then find a suitable opportunity to discuss with their children the feelings of swearing and swearing.

If the child is stubborn and still thinks it is cool, please don't continue to argue with him. At this time, just remind him calmly that this family is shared by everyone, and I hope he can respect the feelings of others.

Fourth, I like to draw conclusions.

I often hear many children complain that their parents always feel that they are right and always like to mention "the courage of the past."

When parents provide experience sharing, it is best to let their children have their own experience instead of telling him the conclusion directly.

Of course, it takes process and time.

If parents simply share, instead of always saying and comparing, children will generally refer to it.

If children must follow or compare questions, they will often ask, "Why are you right?" Not thinking about the benefits will affect his willingness to listen.

Adolescents just want to be themselves. As long as the conclusion comes from their mother, they will never want to follow their parents' instructions in order to prove that they can make a decision and have other good ideas.

Because children want to tell their parents, "I'm not like you. I have grown up and don't need to rely on you all the time. "

Therefore, parents also need to adjust their mentality appropriately and admit that everyone's ideas are different, otherwise they may not be able to adapt to the changes of their children at this stage.

Verb (short for verb) doesn't trust children.

The more you trust your children, the more they will make you trust them. They like to say, "There are many things you don't know, you don't know at all." Parents will start to worry about what happened to their children outside.

Please remember that people get along with each other on the basis of trust. If there is no trust, it will be full of suspicion and reservation. Therefore, what you say to your children must be based on trust.

Of course, this does not mean that parents can't verify or reconfirm whether their children's words and deeds are consistent, but the methods need to be more skillful.

For example:

When you find that your child's recent behavior is erratic, you can try to care about him. "Are you all right?" At the same time, we can discuss it through the free situation in our life. "Have you played a very popular game recently called Eat Chicken? Where are you playing? " How to find teammates? "

Or when watching TV series together, you can take the opportunity to ask, "How did the protagonist's personality change so much after making this friend?" How can I not be influenced by him? "

Start with the topics that children are willing to discuss, and naturally understand their thoughts and status quo.

6. Peek into children's privacy

Some parents will peek at their children's diaries in order to get to know them. This happened when we were young.

I once put a hair in my diary. If you find that your hair has fallen out, you will know that you have checked it again. In the future, the contents of this diary should be published.

Now because of the development of science and technology, parents begin to peek at their children's mobile phones, and some parents are quite proud to say that they can crack their children's passwords. Or follow the child out of the house. After reading it, I was worried. If I am worried, I can't help asking. If I want to, I will help, and the parent-child relationship will break down.

So my parents often say to me, "Psychologist, don't tell your child that I read his message, but he seems to know a man ten years older than him." Can you ask him for me and tell him not to see him? "

Seven, excessive intervention

I wonder if parents and friends have ever thought that their love for their children may also be a burden?

I have studied abroad myself. Once I was sick and needed to see a doctor, my father immediately said that he would fly over to see me. I told him at that time, "No, because I'm under too much pressure ..." My father replied, "What's my father's pressure?"

Only now do I realize the gap between our parents' thoughts and feelings.

Some parents who work at school deliberately arrange for their children to go to the same school.

Some parents worry that their children don't have enough space, so they deliberately don't arrange their children in their own classes, but ask other colleagues for help. I just go to school, leave school and go home to accompany my children every day.

At noon, I will visit my child's class and bring him a lunch.

Before the exam results are announced, the parents' meeting will be the first to know.

Under such circumstances, I would like to ask parents, will their children be under pressure?

Now I often see many parents do it for them. When you go out, you say, "Oh, you should put on more clothes and hurry up …" Fruits and drinks are also sent to the children's rooms. Will the children have more thanks, or are they bored?