My son abused me thousands of times. How can I be friends with my son for the first time?

Son, I have been very excited and uneasy since you were born. I'm very excited that I finally became a mother, but I don't know what you will be like in the future.

I didn't get good grades when I entered school. I'll try my best to let you go to cram school, learn your specialty, eat well and dress well. Although your family conditions are average, I try my best to keep you from being looked down upon by others.

After a few years of cold windows, your reward is that you are at the bottom of your studies and impatient with your parents.

Sometimes I can't help yelling at you, looking at your wronged little face, and sometimes I regret it, really.

The road ahead is still very long. I hope you can understand my pain as soon as possible.

I want to forget it. I just hope you study hard and become a healthy adult. You abused me a thousand times, and I treated you like the first love.