Very funny short joke copy

1. You can steal my sentences or my expressions, but if you steal my heart, I will call you husband.

2. Men and dogs: Men at 2 are like pugs, always talking sweet words, and at 30 are like watchdogs, best at cooking and washing.

3. Tell me what’s good about having a girlfriend. When a man marries a man, he will have two houses and two cars.

4. Today I saw my ex-girlfriend sitting in the back seat of the electric car, holding her current boyfriend’s waist and shivering from the cold. I raised the corner of my mouth with a proud smile and squeezed into the warm bus.

5. Sometimes two people who chat happily on the Internet stop talking so much when they meet, maybe because they cannot send emoticons face to face.

6. My life goal is to own my own house in Beijing when I am thirty. Now I'm halfway to my goal: I'm thirty years old.

7. There are two reasons for failure in inviting a girl to hang out. One is that she is too lazy to wash her hair, and the other is that your invitation is not worth washing her hair.

8. Boy, you are so lucky to have known me. It seems that your ancestors have accumulated a lot of evil.

9. Do you think you will go to sleep quietly after saying good night? Whoever believes it is a fool. Usually I feel relieved that I can finally watch dramas, browse Weibo and play games with peace of mind.

10. After working hard outside for three years, I came home with nothing. I thought my mother would be furious. Unexpectedly, my mother did not scold me, but even comforted me: "My child, you have nothing, at least you still have the nerve to come back."

11. The farthest distance in the world is when we go out together, You go buy apples to wear, and I buy a bag of apples.

12. I feel scared every time I take the bus, because before getting off the bus, the announcement always says: 'Please pay attention to the spies between the platforms'

13. Growing so big, Without learning anything else, I have mastered a special skill. I can sleep without sleeping pills during the day, and I can be excited without stimulants at night.

14. People are unlucky. Drinking cold water will get stuck in their teeth. Water is even more unlucky. Even if it is drunk, it will be trapped in the teeth.

15. Many people say that marriage is the tomb of love, but it is better for love to be buried in peace than to die on the streets.

16. In life, you must always take some responsibility or find some sustenance. So some people are raising parents, wives and children, some are raising cats, dogs, birds and fish, and some are raising flowers and plants. I am more advanced, so I close my eyes and start to rest my mind.

17. If only I were a boy, I could chase girls, help my brothers fight, drink a thousand glasses of wine, and hang out alone at night. My mother wouldn’t bother me. I don’t have to do it every day. You can go out as soon as you pack it up. Your short hair can be dried without a hair dryer in two cycles. You don’t have any aunties, you won’t have menstrual irritability, and you can still have sex with men.

18. No matter how bad the relationship between a man and his wife is, his relationship with his mother-in-law is still good; no matter how good the relationship between a woman and her husband is, her relationship with her mother-in-law is also bad.

19. Be sure to remember those people who chat with you until late at night. It is because of them that you stay up late, resulting in such heavy dark circles under your eyes and such bad skin.

20. When I was a child, I drew a picture of 100 yuan to buy a car. The boss said that my money was fake, nonsense, of course it was fake, and your car was not real either.

21. There is no love for no reason in the world, and there is no hate for no reason, but there is fatness for no reason.