Crosstalk sketches suitable for graduation parties get high marks.

Etiquette: essays on teacher-student etiquette

In the course of Marxist philosophy, Mr. Ma Zhe talked with relish on the stage, and two students in the audience were also talking endlessly. ) Ma: Students, the world is material, material is moving, movement is regular, and laws can be mastered! Got it! . . . . . .

The teacher found that the two students in the audience only cared about themselves and didn't listen to his lecture, so he went to find those two students. )

M: I said, what are you two talking about? Come on, come on, tell me. Come on, you (a student)!

(Two classmates are embarrassed. One of them blushes and stands up)

Ma: (the teacher picks up the cup and asks), tell me what it is! ?

Isn't this a cup?

Teacher: Who told you this is a cup? I told you it was a bucket, okay?

A: Everyone knows that this is a cup. ! Joke, how is a bucket?

M: I told you! The world is material, you can say it is material, but you can't say it is a cup. Any substance is named by people!

A: But it's just a cup. I'll call you a bucket!

Man: What? What? what did you say ? /Excuse me? Say it again!

A: I didn't say anything!

M: Then let me ask you why you didn't go to class. From the beginning to the present.

A: No! I've been listening!

Really? Let me ask you something. Tell me, why is the dog alive?

A: Huh? Why is the dog still alive? It's just for food and shelter!

M: Then why are you still alive? ! You want to eat too! ? Then are you like a dog!

Teacher, how can you say that? How can you swear!

M: I didn't scold you, I was just being reasonable! You said that you kept saying that it influenced everyone and my speech! Chairman Mao taught us to study hard and make progress every day. How do you understand this man?

Excuse me, teacher. He has been discussing anti-terrorism with me just now, but he didn't pay attention.

M: Is this classmate very conscious? Ok, then tell me, what is General Secretary Jiang's "Theory of Three Represents"?

Theory of Three Represents theory? On behalf of. . . . represent

Man: Why can't you say it? This has a lot to do with our usual life!

B: Oh, on behalf of, on behalf of my interests, on behalf of everyone, on behalf of the interests of General Secretary Jiang and his old people.

Man: You. . . You . You can't teach a boy or carve a piece of rotten wood! Come with me to the department office after class!

(A, B, dismount)

The second act is in the dean's office.

M: Counselor, I can't teach this class!

Auxiliary: Yo, why are you so angry?

Ma: The students nowadays are all turned upside down! I don't even know what Theory of Three Represents's theory is! There are still some fallacies in class! How can such students be worthy of the new China created by proletarian revolutionaries, the Party and the people of the older generation? Have no theoretical knowledge at all, you should educate them well!

Fu: OK, OK, I will. Don't worry.

M: I have to attend a seminar on people's work. I have to go first. Review (for both parties)! Max is watching you! (End)

Auxiliary: What are you two standing for? Sit down.

A and B: Oh, thank you, sir.

Auxiliary: Do you know why you are here?

A: Yes, talk in class.

B: But what the teacher said was so boring that we were really bored.

Auxiliary: Oh, so you mean you can stop listening if you are not interested? !

A: We didn't say that.

B: Teacher, that's what you said.

Auxiliary: Oh? All right! Then let's talk about something else. Hey, do you know the latest NBA game?

A: the rockets finally won. Yao Ming scored 25 points 12 rebounds and 6 assists. Awesome!

B `: What? What is Yao Ming? O 'Neill scored 30 points! He is the king of the basket.

Have you forgotten? Yao Ming wore two O 'Neill hats last time.

b； So what! If you are that tall, you can build it.

A: I'm not interested in O 'Neill anyway. Say whatever you want.

b； Yao Ming is so thin, I don't like it! What you said has nothing to do with me.

They were speechless and ignored each other. )

Auxiliary: Why not call?

A: He doesn't like Yao Ming. It's no use talking about it.

B: He is not interested in O 'Neill. He is casting pearls before swine.

Auxiliary: Oh, you know, if others are not interested, there will be no enthusiasm for speaking, and so will teachers. How can a teacher teach a good lesson if you don't listen? You should learn to respect each other. Only by respecting others will others respect you!

(A and B look at each other and bow their heads in shame) Auxiliary: Teachers sometimes give boring lectures, but he pays his own efforts! You should respect his contribution! Based on the people-oriented education policy, we not only teach you knowledge, but more importantly, teach you how to be a man. It takes three generations to make a gentleman. Your future success depends on your present accumulation. Respect for others is the first thing you should learn. Do you agree with me when I say this?

A and B: Teacher, we were wrong.

(End) Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

School edition, reflecting the relationship between teachers and students.

One set: a lecture desk, three sets of tables and chairs.

Character: Teacher () Student Yang Erya () Student Li () Student Bonnie ()

Chen Sing: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm really excited today ... (walks to my seat)

Li Sang: The sun shines in the sky, and the flowers smile at each other. ...

Yang said: last night, the west wind withered the green trees, just downstairs, and there was no way to help students learn.

When ... (who is it? ) may

Yang: Hey, big news, big news! Ban Ren is angry with me again, and our class has changed to a new one! I heard that the surname is Hou.

Chen; Well, a "sheep" just left and a "monkey" came.

Li: Who cares about monkeys? Even if the Monkey King comes, we have to take him back to Huaguoshan.

Yang: OK! If you don't loosen your teeth, you will be rooted in the chaotic class. A thousand words advise you to be reasonable, and you can be sure that whoever comes will be angry. Yeah!

Teacher; : enter the classroom "class!"

Chen: Get up and stand up.

Teacher: Hello, class. Please sit down. First, let me introduce myself. I am your new class teacher. My surname is Hou.

Student: "Monkey"? (Ha ... Hey ...)

Teacher: Be quiet. Let's ask the students to introduce themselves.

Yang: Teacher, her name is Bonnie and her name is Li.

Chen and Li: Her name is Yang Erya.

Teacher; Don't students know who they are? Ask someone to introduce you. Ok, shall I announce the results of the monthly exam? Yang Erya is 76, Li is 67 and Bonnie is 49.

Chen: Ah! We're going to fry shredded pork with bamboo boards again tonight.

Yang and Li: What do you mean?

Chen: Don't you know? Every time I go home for an exam, the score below 80 is women's singles, the score below 70 is men's singles, and the score below 60 is mixed doubles. I'm dead this time.

Teacher: Stop it and carefully analyze the reasons why you didn't do well in the exam. Write me a written reflection, and your feelings must be very profound.

Teacher: OK, why don't you read the reflection for everyone?

Li: What do you know about spring flowers and autumn moons? When is the exam? At present, the test papers are re-issued, and the results are unbearable. I'm still worried about what happened last time, but I changed the subject. When will you stand out? Like a river flowing eastward.

Chen sang: Who cares, how bitter my heart is, who cares, where I will go tomorrow, how bad my grades are, how many dirty eyes I have received, and how bitter my skin is. In fact, my heart hurts more than anyone else.

Yang: When can I get a high score? I have nothing to ask the sky. I wonder if I will go to college tomorrow. Will the exam be strict? I will try my best to become stronger. I will smell the chicken in the third watch and watch the chicken in the fifth watch.

Unfortunately, life is dull and wisdom is incomplete. You should hate it, too. Who says I am not strong-willed, the moon is full of rain and shine, and life has advantages and disadvantages?

It is difficult to go to the sky. This is an old question. I hope that after hard work, it will be named before Sun Shan.

Teacher: You complained before I complained. Hey!

Sing: I don't know, why is it listed? Students are either empty or unable to find the direction of education, let alone full of expectations. Standing in the classroom with tears in my heart, I don't know what to do.

Student: wink at jokes.

The bell rings ...

Student: The first battle was successful, yeah! Go home!

Teacher: In the dead of night, when I was upset, I didn't sleep when I was upset, and my classmates came to my heart. (Say:) No! This gang

This little guy seems to be aiming at me on purpose. It doesn't seem enough in my eyes. Hey! By the way, now the new curriculum reform, to optimize the relationship between teachers and students, huh!

Let's get started.

Yang: Hey, who cleaned the floor so clean? Well, there's a new tablecloth, yo, and a chair cushion.

Teacher; Start class. Today we are going to learn the calculation of parallelogram area. Look, I have two identical trapezoids in my hand. Now I put the speakers together. What do you see?

Student: Whispering to each other and doing little tricks.

Old City Singer: Look at the classmates across the street. Look at me. I speak very well here. Let's have a look first.

Student: I look left and right, up and down, but I just don't understand. Start (a disease) ...

Teacher: Hey! Is there nothing we can do? Shall we call it a day?

Chen: No, no, Li and Zhang Jiagen had a fight. My head is broken. Why don't you go and have a look? And: Go ahead.

Teacher: Wait for me at the door. Go home and study in the classroom. I will take care of it.

Chen: Li is miserable this time. His family is so poor, how much should the medical expenses be?

Yang: Will the teacher fire him? Will you tell her mother? Her mother is ill.

Chen: Maybe, this teacher is quite fierce.

And: let's pray for him.

Sang Chen: I pray that Li Neng will come back safely. Although she was injured, it would be nice to come back.

Yang Sang: I pray that the teacher can be lenient on the Internet and never fire him.

Li: I walked into the classroom with gauze wrapped in my head.

Teacher: Your expression is very calm. It's okay. I'll get my exercise book and go to class.

Yang and Chen: Hey, how's it going?

Li: You're welcome. When the teacher arrived at the hospital, he didn't say anything. He helped me find a doctor before and after running, and paid the medical expenses without saying a word. Seeing my head bleeding, the teacher cried like a tearful person. Is it unkind for us to set an example for him? The teacher is a bully to us.

Student: We all misjudged her.

Teacher: Class!

Student: Hello, teacher!

Teacher: Stupid.

Li Sang: Sorry, sir. It's not that I don't love you. I really don't want to make you sad.

Students sing: I'm sorry, teacher. I didn't embarrass you. I really don't want to make you angry.

The teacher sang: it doesn't matter, it really doesn't matter. At least you have realized your mistake. You don't need to torture yourself sadly, and you don't need too much commitment. As long as you study hard, it's enough for me. A person's life has many memories. It's sweet to think of you.

Teacher: Today, we are going to learn a short poem, a love poem.

Teacher: Love is a mountain spring.

Yang: How many dry hearts have you nourished?

Teacher: Love is rain and dew.

Li: How many happy families have you given birth to?

Teacher: Love is spring breeze.

Chen: Drive away the cold in winter.

Teacher: Love is a lighthouse.

Yang: Let the distance between heart and heart be no longer far away.

Teacher: Extend your heart.

Student: Stick out my heart.

Teacher: With our hearts.

Student: With our love.

He: Dedicated to: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow Respondents: Wang 6 162 | Level 1 | 20 10-6-22 17:49.

Mazda: (singing) We can still, can we eat again? I have been begging in restaurants for thousands of years. can you hurry up a little ? Really, it's time for dinner or not. Forget it, wait!

Qin Xiaohui: Mazda, all you do is eat. What else can you do?

Mazda: I can also talk about cross talk, saying that Wen Yanbo of the Great Song Dynasty had the ambition to fill the hole with a floating ball.

Qin Xiaohui: Come on, here we go again! Who doesn't know your Mazda has a good mouth? It's almost time to catch the train.

Mazda: Don't engage in personality cult, ok? This is called talent and wit, hehe. ....

Yu Xia: What are you doing? How talented! You had a nice talk.

Mazda: What? Talk to me! We'll talk about it again. Since God has given talents, let them be used! . What's your daughter doing here?

Qin Xiaohui: Well, recite it. Aren't you very talented? Back off!

Mazda: I can't recite it. As the saying goes, modesty can make people progress. Haha, progress.

Yu Xia: OK, OK, stop arguing, Motor, have you noticed?

Mazda: What, have you noticed that boy again? Why do you like him again? Haha, today's students are really precocious, just like when I was fifteen, I began to fall in love, but I just couldn't say it, and I was still alone. (Singing) How can you have the heart to hurt me? I feel so sad. I'll catch you one day.

Qin Xiaohui: Well, don't show it. You still sing with your broken throat. You sing like hell before others sing.

Mazda: This is a personal innovation. Why don't you do it?

Qin Xiaohui: What is real innovation? That's disgusting.

Yu Xia: Here we go again. You two are really alike. ..

Ma Qin: Like what?

Yu Xia: Let's get down to business. Have you noticed? . . . . .

Ma Qin: Did you find anything? Let's go

Yu Xia: Xiaoling is a little abnormal.

Qin Xiaohui: Yes, I seem to be aware of it.

Mazda: What's wrong?

Qin Xiaohui: You are a pig!

Yu Xia: I always see him eating steamed bread alone in the dormitory instead of going to the restaurant.

Mazda: What's unusual about this? Carry forward the fine tradition of hard work, just like I eat chicken legs and steamed bread. It is delicious.

Qin Xiaohui: Don't interrupt. Keep walking when it rains.

Yu Xia: I still vaguely heard what happened at his house? Her mother seems to be ill.

Mazda: Impossible. I saw her and her mother in the street the day before yesterday.

Qin Xiaohui: Look at your head. That was her aunt the day before yesterday. How stupid. Your mother is so young. Really.

Mazda: Me. . . . . . My mother is very young.

Qin Xiaohui: Well, I will call your mother not an aunt, but an elder sister.

Mazda: You shouldn't call your sister.

Then what's my name?

Mazda: You should call Aunt.

Qin Xiaohui: Bo, are you tall? Listen carefully to Sister Yu.

Summer rain; He is usually quiet, isn't he? . . . .

Mazda; What? I think we should help her well.

Summer rain; I thought the same thing.

(Several people discuss together)

Yu Xia: (on the phone) Lan Lan, be sure to call Xiaoling out. We need to talk to her. We'll wait for you at the teacher's.

Light light blue: What's the matter?

Yu Xia: Is it urgent? Hello, Mada, did you buy a cake?

Mazda; I bought it and I'll be right back.

Qin Xiaohui; Sister Yu, it seems that Teacher Gu is coming today.

Ancient times; I'm coming.

Qin Xiaohui; (whispering) Speak of the devil.

Gu: What are you talking about?

Qin Xiaohui; I am reciting ancient poems. Cao Cao returned to the countryside.

Ancient times; You see, the child will learn in a short time. Yu Xia, what happened to what I asked you to do?

Yu Xia: I'm ready, sir. You can relax a hundred times when I do things.

After a while, I hurried back with a cake and met Mr. Gu.

Mazda: Teacher Gu, eggs. . Eggs. . Eggs. . The cake is back.

Gu: I didn't bring the drumsticks back this time.

Mazda smiled and put the cake room on the table.

After a while, light light blue and Xiaoling came. Gu, Qin Xiaohui and He sang a birthday song.

Xiaoling; this is ...

Mazda: Today is your birthday.

Why? I forgot my birthday.

Qin Xiaohui: Happy birthday, Sister Xiaoling.

Xiaoling: Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Summer rain; Xiaoling, come and make a wish.

(Everyone gets together and Xiaoling blows out the candles.)

C: (holding a paper bag) This is a token of my classmates' appreciation. Take it.

Xiaoling: No, no, no, teacher.

Gu: We also know something about your family. Take this money to your mother and get a good doctor.

Xiaoling: Here. . Here you are. . Teacher Gu, classmates, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Mazda: Xiaoling, we will help you in the future. Don't forget that we are brother and sister, villagers.

Qin Xiaohui: Men in Shima Village are bosom friends.

Yes, we are brother and sister. We will always be best friends.

Music (dedication of love).