Is a child who reaches out and hugs after being scolded and cried by his parents a coquetry?

In real life, parents will certainly encounter similar things. The child is disobedient and naughty. When they made up their minds to teach their children a lesson, they immediately "turned their faces" and cried bitterly, and immediately got into the arms of adults.

At this time, many parents are very contradictory. They don't know whether to forgive the child's pick-up or continue to scold the child to remember the lesson.

Case Ms. Zhong's son just turned 3 this year and has entered the period of "little devil" that people often say. As long as the child is awake, there is no time to be quiet.

Spread out the dishes on the table when eating, and watch your mother cry before the adult attacks; When playing, deliberately throw toys at adults, and then immediately run to grandma's side to hug; When he was unreasonable, he punched and kicked his father. At the beginning, as long as the adults shouted abuse, they ran to my mother to coquetry and hug.

No matter how angry Ms. Zhong was, when she saw the baby's pathetic appearance, she finally couldn't help but relent and picked up the baby.

But once, the old man at home was ill and hospitalized, and the family was so busy. At this time, the child was still as noisy as before, and his father gave him a good meal.

This time, the baby still wants to be comforted by her mother as before, but Ms. Zhong is too busy to turn her head. When she is cruel, she will let the baby stand in the same place, reflect on her mistakes, and hug him without saying anything.

From this incident, Ms. Zhong found that the child's personality became introverted and timid, worried that the child would leave a psychological shadow.

Psychologists have made a scientific explanation for this: asking for a hug after a class is not to evade responsibility and not admit mistakes. This is actually a sign that children admit their mistakes, but they are all expressed in the form of "begging for hugs".

They know that they have done something wrong, and their hearts are full of fear and regret. They hope that their parents who love them the most can hug them and get comfort.

Is it true that many parents can't think of the warmth of reaching out and hugging their babies after being scolded and crying? If parents don't know the needs behind the baby's hug and stick to the principle of not forgiving the baby, it will have the following bad effects on the baby.

1) The baby is indifferent.

When the baby asks for a hug, it is the time when they admit their mistakes and the most insecure time.

At this time, if my parents don't forgive me, in their view, it is: I know I was wrong and I apologize on my own initiative, but my parents don't accept my apology. They don't love me anymore

Babies hold grudges, too. They will remember that their parents don't forgive themselves and think that their parents deliberately embarrass themselves. Since parents don't let themselves feel better, they will try their best to make their parents feel sad in the future. In the long run, it will inevitably lead to the alienation of affection between parents and children.

2) Affect the baby's brain development.

Scientists' research shows that skin contact is beneficial to the forebrain development of babies. Skin is the largest sensory organ of human body. When the baby's skin is touched, it will transmit stimulation to the brain, which is conducive to promoting the development of the brain nervous system.

Therefore, when the baby asks for a hug, he actually wants to complete a silent emotional exchange with his skin. If babies are rejected by their parents when they need this kind of contact most, their needs will gradually decrease, which will eventually affect the development of their brains and nerves.

3) Affect the baby's personality formation.

If you don't get the hug and forgiveness from your parents after admitting your mistake, it will seriously reduce your baby's sense of security, and you will feel that your parents no longer love yourself, and even your favorite person will not forgive yourself, which will seriously undermine your baby's confidence in contact with the outside world. The baby's personality will become timid, hesitant to do anything, afraid of making mistakes, and even more afraid that parents will alienate them even more after making mistakes, which will affect their character formation.

Therefore, when the baby is crying and reaching for a hug, parents must respond positively. Education should be strategic, and it is not necessary to "smash" the outcome. Directly and rudely refusing a baby's hug will hurt their young hearts.