Humorous QQ said: Every time a paper is sent down, there are always more Xtep than Nike.

1. It is not the alarm clock and dreams that wake up every morning, but the urine that has been suppressed all night.

Do you know why the date of the college entrance examination was chosen on June 7th and 8th? Here's the thing, 678, take it.

I am fat because many things are hard to lose weight.

4. I finally accepted my ugliness, and I have to accept it again after cutting my hair, alas.

I've always wondered why teachers should invite parents, a person who has never even educated minors and wants to educate adults.

6. What is unity? It refers to a person's mobile phone ringing in the morning reading, and the reading sound of the whole class skyrockets.

7. One day, the emperor happily said to the little manager around him: You describe me in one sentence, saying that it is not easy to cut you if you are rewarded. Xiao Li said slag was cut.

If I fail this exam, please don't call me a bully, call me a gambler!

9. Dear son, I'm sorry, but your father hasn't caught up with your mother. Just a moment, please. I wish you a happy June 1st in advance.

10. Uncle policeman, I lost my bag. Don't worry, it's my treat, and then you can pay me back!

1 1. The furthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death, but the distance when I stand on Monday and think about Friday!

12. Every time a paper comes down, Xtep is always more than Nike.

13. The sky descended on Sri Lanka. You must first turn off its mobile phone, stop its traffic, steal its account and unplug its network cable, in order to bid farewell to scum and become a schoolmaster.

14. Don't tell my sister to grow old together. My sister should always have black hair.

15.a: I suddenly feel my hands are so small. B: I heard that people with small hands are blessed. C: Yes, small hands make you feel big when you touch your chest.

16. Your Majesty, male and female servants have something to ask, please put them in the cold palace. Men and women can't stand these birds. It's too hot.

17. Honey, I'm so scared when it thunders outside! I'm not afraid. It's just thunder. It will pass in a minute. Ok, honey, can you come out from under the bed?

18. I changed the automatic reply to what happened yesterday, and then chatted with it at the same table for an afternoon, and was beaten the next day.

19. the first part: I don't make a sound when reading in the rain. the second part: family affairs and state affairs are none of your business. Horizontal batch: while playing.

20. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but the teacher is talking about Chapter 7, the senior is reading Chapter 10, and I am reading the table of contents.

2 1. Have you considered the feeling of underwear when farting?

I like your deskmate very much. She is beautiful and gentle. She is like my goddess deskmate. Is it really good for you to praise yourself so blatantly?

23. Children living on campus: Monday is the richest man, Tuesday is a local tyrant, Wednesday is a civilian, Thursday is a poor man, and Friday is a ruin.

24. My IQ is one of the best. Yes, your IQ is only suitable for the best.

25. Mulan, I like you! Let's be together! Do you know that I am a woman? ! ! Are you a woman? ! !

Humorous QQ mood: Although giving up won't kill you, you won't give up when you die.

1. I heard that ugly people should read more books. No wonder my mother said that I was not cut out for reading when I was young.

I treat you as a friend one by one, but you treat me as a goddess.

Everyone says that making more friends with beautiful people will make you look good. No wonder you find that your friends are getting better and better.

You should find someone who can make you laugh, not me who makes you cry.

5. The kind of person who talks funny and has a good temper is really impeccable, such as me.

6. Why don't I have a handsome deskmate, but my deskmate does?

7. Being good-looking is not easy to cheat, and the invigilator can't help but look at it. No wonder I was often found in those days.

8. Achievement is such a thing. You are ugly, you rank first, and I am handsome and casual.

9. I always thought that the word "beautiful as a fairy" was about me, but it wasn't. It's about real beauty.

10. When I was born, God asked me whether I should have a good memory or be handsome. I have forgotten what I answered at that time.

1 1. I want to work hard, or others will say that I am nothing but beautiful.

12. Be a low-key person, as handsome as I am, not what I said.

13. Those who are particularly handsome but don't know themselves are really pitiful, so please remind me often.

14. There is no fate between us, it all depends on my face value.

15. Every time I go shopping, many people send me small advertisements and leaflets. Alas, this is me, I am so beautiful.

16. The lovely me has long since disappeared, replaced by a more lovely me.

17. You can call me handsome, I don't mind, but don't involve my friends, it's none of their business, they are just a group of innocent fools.

18. Why do handsome people get special treatment? No, it will spoil me.

19. Every time I look at myself in the mirror, I swear. How can there be such beautiful people in this world?

20. I don't want to be likable, I just want to be an attractive villain.

2 1. I envy my deskmate more and more, because she has a charming deskmate who is very witty and selflessly spreads laughter and love.

22. I am always alienated by ordinary people because I am too handsome. You see, nobody looked at it when I was talking.

23. I suddenly want to go out and cheat money to eat and drink with my handsome face, and live a lascivious life freely.

24. I am not cool at all, but I am handsome.

25. Today, a girl praised me for being thin, so I slapped her in the face. Can't you see how handsome I am? !

26. Being a handsome boy is tiring, I really know that.

27. What happened? Let's talk openly. Don't always call me beautiful and lovely behind my back. Are you bored? Like no one knows.

Talking more about narcissism is more fun than husband.

Teasing is more fun than husband's 1. The couple were watching TV and saw the passionate scene. Wife: You see how gentle people are to their wives and how skilled they are at kissing.

Husband: Is that what you want?

Wife: Hmm!

Husband: OK.

My wife leaned over and closed her eyes. . .

Husband: Wait, let's talk about the remuneration first. . .

In summer, the air conditioner at home is broken. My husband, who has been very embarrassed, said: Go out to live at night, it's too hot at home.

Exulting, after dinner, I packed my things and waited for him quietly.

I saw him unhurriedly setting up a tent in the yard.

3. That day! I am in the bedroom, and my husband will come in and give me a hug, then go out and come in and kiss me.

I said shyly, why are you so clingy tonight? !

Husband hesitated and said: game update!

My wife always thinks I am naive. Just now in the car, she was talking about it again. I was a little unhappy and scolded: Is it over? Drive, don't mess with me, what should I do if something happens!

She seemed to know that she was wrong, bowed her head and was silent. I couldn't take it anymore, so I changed the subject: give me some more coins. This pleasant goat is not as good as that big bad wolf.

Husband: Honey, what do you want to eat tonight?

Wife: I want to eat stewed beef brisket with potatoes and sweet and sour chicken wings!

Husband: Good! I have something to do tonight. When you have finished eating, I will eat with you when I come back. Love you.

Qq signature is humorous.

Qq signature is humorous.

1, you fat bitch, always shifting my relationship with food.

If you think you are beautiful, you think too much.

Unfortunately, Toyota can't stop it.

You are brothers who grew up with a pair of pants. Can you lend me one?

The teacher said not to bring anything unrelated to the exam. Should I bring myself?

6. As the ancients said, men and women don't give and receive, please stay away from me.

7. If you don't leave, I will die.

8. I fell in love with you, but the alarm clock became our third party.

Once upon a time, a man spoke ill of me behind my back and later died.

10, when I passed you, my clothes were scratched and I didn't see any sparks.

1 1, beating is pro, scolding is love, and love is extreme.

12, you're half buried, don't drag in front of me, you big tree.

13, you are like a cucumber, you don't have to shoot.

14. Actually, when I wake up in the morning, I still have something to do, that is, go back to sleep.

15, you are like a bitter gourd, dressed so cool and looks so bad.

16, handsome boy, don't run, no matter how fast you run, you can't escape from my sister's palm.

17, sister, take care of your man and don't let him flirt around outside if possible.

18, no matter how handsome, it's not your husband. Don't envy his goodness.

19, a woman defected because you are incompetent, so don't always blame her for being coquettish.

20. Smoking is harmful to health. For the sake of your health, you have to think more.

2 1, do you know the energy of volcanic eruption? It is the momentum of women cursing the street.

22. You often brag, don't you? If you dare, you can really blow one for me.

23. What does it mean to be a traveler in your life? This girl will never understand.

24. Your love has shifted, but my heart has not changed.

25, women should not expect too much, in fact, simplicity is happiness, understand.

26. My temper is something you can never challenge. Be careful that my sister will ruin you.

27. Saving the world is a great event. There are usually superhuman beings. I'm just watching Superman's performance.

Don't be so grumpy now, or someone will turn over and cover you underground.

It's God's business to give you a chance. My job is to ruin your chances.

30, you mix so earth-shattering, sooner or later, the world will be unbearable.

3 1, I never believe what you say, so don't ask my forgiveness.

I am ugly, but I am gentle. I dare to walk in the street.

33. RMB represents your strength. I think you can only be mentally retarded now.

I gave you the right to love me, but I didn't give you the right to give up.

35, you are always pushing my limits, I have to kick you a few feet.

36. I love you vigorously, but you have completely hurt me. This love is really unreasonable.

I will do anything except love you.

38. The man I once loved is now my father.

39. But gold always shines. Besides, I am a diamond.

40. I like to record the teacher's lecture and fall asleep at night.

4 1, you can't even cheat, how can the teacher trust you to go to the society to experience?

Businessmen don't know how to hate their country and do their homework all day.

43, but gold will always shine, you glass slag can only reflect light.

44. The so-called low-key, but low-key high-profile.

45. Promise Chairman Mao: I will never pinch the flowers of my motherland again. I can pinch flowers and bones.

46. A good horse doesn't eat grass back, unless it is rotten fairy grass.

47. After winter, the world is divided into two parts, one under the covers and the other outside.

48. It's as cold as a joke, and life is like nonsense.

49. Every time I bring my test paper home, the first thing I do is to wear cotton trousers to meet the storm.

50. You give 60 points, I give 60 points. Why don't we pay a dollar and two cents?