How to calm down the sense of loss?

Generally speaking, you encounter your own low point in life (lovelorn, bankruptcy, death of relatives, etc.). ). Probably all of them have the following symptoms: my mind is full of bad memories, surrounded by boring things, people are empty, and everything is boring. . . The most important thing is that I can't control myself. I always think of these melancholy things unconsciously and repeat them over and over again. What do we do? The body instinctively wants to repair this state. For example, going to bars every night, the desire to play games day and night. Or contact with pornography to stimulate yourself and fill the temporarily empty feelings. Let you get out of the trough quickly and feedback the satisfaction of your brain. However, the consequences of doing so are well known, so I won't say it. Obviously, the basic desires of the human body are very primitive and short-sighted. Eat when you are hungry (poison or not), splash when you are natural (sin or not), and sleep when you are sleepy (whether I drive or not). The primitive desire to give yourself up to the body is very dangerous. People need rationality most when facing difficulties. Because once you make a mistake at this stage, you are likely to go to extremes and let yourself go beyond redemption. Poisonous mushrooms can't be eaten no matter how hungry they are, nor can they be eaten against each other's wishes. They can't close their eyes when they are sleepy while driving (of course, it's best to stop and take a nap). So, to get back to the topic, don't let your body pursue and do something inappropriate when you are disappointed with the Lord. Since we want to be rational, what should we do to be rational? Online (for example, Zhihu) ask the elder teachers for answers. Having said that, I realized that what I said before seemed to be nonsense. -_-! Because I am not an expert and have not studied the relevant theories, I can only talk about my own experience. It's nice to be able to help. If not, it is enough to enrich the landlord's questions. It's nothing to be depressed once in a while. Since the question is raised, it shows that the melancholy state has entered a cycle. And this kind of cycle makes people's thoughts stuck in it, and they can't turn it out, but they just can't control themselves. So what should we do? Break the vicious circle system at the present stage. Because in this case, self-control is often not enough and can only be changed by changing habits. It is difficult to change the vicious thinking habit, so we can only change our state step by step, thus disrupting the rhythm of our vicious circle and shuffling the cards again. The easiest way: for example, change your hair style, change clothes, and do some activities with friends that consume energy but don't rely too much on your brain, such as a day trip to the gym. If you improve and take part in some active social activities, it is easy to meet more active people here, such as a day trip to the campus reading club and an English corner coffee shop. I used to chat with foreigners in the English corner when I was free. At that time, I hardly talked to foreigners, and I didn't pass CET-4. I couldn't say a word for a long time, but the foreigner was very enthusiastic. After the chat, I felt very fulfilled, as if all the negative emotions had vanished. Of course, people with good English may have disappeared. Just like this kind of stimulation that you can't feel at ordinary times, it's easy to make people confused. If life starts to make positive progress, it will basically be half better, and then self-control will be much stronger. Another good way for young people is to find someone to fall in love with. My wife said that she would be very sad when she was lovelorn before, but she found a boyfriend in less than half a month, and her life was bright in an instant. In fact, the specific plan varies from person to person, but it is definitely difficult to rely on self-control. You must help yourself with positive external forces.