What did you do for your ex that moved you?

After seeing the subject's question, I thought for a long time. I don't know if what I did touched me, but now I just feel stupid in retrospect.

I am a student and he is an office worker. He was unemployed at home during the winter vacation, and I also went home for a leisure winter vacation. Because there is no job, the schedule is getting more and more chaotic, and finally it becomes sleeping during the day and hi at night. Besides, it's normal for me to work and rest naturally at home.

Winter vacation is boring at home, but the happiest thing every day is to wait until the evening to talk to him. At first, he only lasted until about eleven o'clock every night, but at that time he usually had other things to do, so he didn't talk much.

Later, every night before going to bed, I would tell myself that my music was on. Even if I fall asleep, I will be woken up by the music after an hour, so that I can chat with him for a while. I was so stupid at that time that I didn't hesitate to sleep for an hour or two in order to talk to him for a while. It may seem nothing to the subject, but I have poor sleep quality and am particularly afraid of the dark. In order not to let my family know that I didn't sleep, I had to turn off the light and pretend to be asleep.

Wake up in the middle of the night and look at the dark room. Honestly, I'm scared.

One night, I didn't sleep. I don't know why. I was particularly scared that night. Although I was already very sleepy, when I closed my eyes, my mind was full of terrible pictures. Even if you fall asleep, you will be awakened by nightmares. I hid in the quilt, hugged myself and told myself not to be afraid.

After a long time, he came to chat with me and asked me if I had slept. I said I haven't slept. He asked me if I was awake again. I said no, but I didn't sleep. Then we talked a lot. I never told him why I stayed up late, and he never asked. I think he probably thought I would wait for him. After all, I have been waiting for him for countless nights.

Later, we broke up. After parting, I secretly went to see him. Sitting on the bus, I was wondering what kind of greeting I should greet. I don't like to enjoy the scenery along the way.

I met him where he worked. He still smiles at everyone and plays jokes on other colleagues. A long time ago, I sat beside him and watched him talking and laughing, but now, everything about him feels far away from me, even though I am standing less than 20 meters away from him.

Everything changed, and I turned to leave, walking in a daze. ...

When I went back to school, I bought a lot of beer. That was the first time I drank myself to pieces. I vaguely remember crying, calling his name while crying, and finally falling asleep at my desk. ...