My parents' thoughts after reading.

1997 February 19- dad * left, so calm, so calm, so peaceful.

He left with a smile on his face ...

In my heart, I always feel that my father has not left, he is with us, and he still lives among us: he looks at us lovingly and gratified.

I miss my father, and this kind of missing is increasing day by day.

one

Dad is an introvert and seldom expresses his feelings in words. After the victory of the war of liberation, from Shanghai to Sichuan and then to Beijing, my father tried his best to seek medical treatment for me. My situation is more complicated, especially when I have a tumor in my mouth, I have a knife and a new tumor. Dad made up his mind to go through all kinds of hardships and strive for the best treatment under the conditions at that time.

Dad was transferred to the central government and our family moved into Zhongnanhai. At that time, we had five brothers and sisters. Mom and dad attach great importance to their children's education and never spoil us. In primary school, our three older children all went to boarding schools and rode back and forth to the suburban school and home in Zhongnanhai every week. Everyone rides a bike in middle school. At the end of each semester, my father will read our record book. He knows everything about every child. He knows his strengths, weaknesses, personality and strengths. But he ignored the specific things and asked his mother to educate us. Dad trusts his mother very much, and they are very harmonious in educating their children.

Dad once said that the most painful time in life is of course "*". And I think the most sad thing for him in "*" is Park Fang. After learning about Park Fang's situation, Dad wrote to the Central Committee many times, asking for treatment for Park Fang. After Park Fang arrived in Jiangxi, his father, who was nearly seventy years old, wiped his body every day. Park Fang lost consciousness in the lower body, and his father turned over and changed clothes for him every day. Mom and dad personally scrubbed excrement and urine tablets, washed sheets and washed clothes for Park Fang with tears in their eyes ... Whenever I think of this scene, I can't help crying.

Dad doesn't talk much at home. He hit the nail on the head when he said it, and he was humorous. He doesn't like to visit and pull relationships; He doesn't go to anyone's house except a few old comrades-in-arms and neighbors. He doesn't mind his own business, doesn't care about small things, doesn't care, and doesn't complain. When the children quarreled, he said, "Go outside and quarrel." He's not a referee. He's always right and wrong. He believes that "it will pass sooner or later." He has a great tolerance for illness and is uncomfortable. He never said, didn't like seeing a doctor, and didn't want to bother others. His pathological changes are often discovered after careful observation by doctors and nurses. He smoked all his life. 1989. At the age of eighty-five, the doctor advised him to quit smoking. He gave up smoking at once and never smoked again. He loves to be clean and tidy, and his clothes are simple, simple and old-fashioned. He never wore a suit except in France and the Soviet Union in his early years. Going out for a walk in winter, I don't love hats or scarves. I only wear two pairs of pants, a pair of cloth shorts and a pair of polyester pants. A shirt, a sweater, a Chinese tunic suit and sometimes a coat are the same in snowy days. Whoever advises him to wear more clothes will say, "I'm not so lucky." Or ask, "Are you cold? Why do you want me to wear more if you are not cold? " He doesn't like all the hands and feet. He is decisive in his work, and his documents are handled on the same day, and he never drags his feet. He is punctual and trustworthy. He is never late for the appointed time and never waits for people. He gave a banquet in honor of the foreign guests, which ended on time in an hour. He is strict with himself, lenient with others, sizing up the situation, and lifting weights easily.

two

Retirement is my father's long-awaited life.

He told his secretary long ago that he would stop reading documents after retirement.

After retirement, dad's life is too regular. Get up at eight o'clock every morning, read the newspaper after breakfast, then take a walk and have lunch; Take a lunch break until three o'clock, get up to play bridge, watch TV, or read books and watch videos; Then walk, eat, listen to children chat, watch TV and sleep. Every day. The doctor said that if he didn't live a strict and regular life, it would be difficult to live for so long according to his experience and pain.

Dad likes reading. He reads everything, especially history books. Sometimes I take one or two books like Liaozhai and Poetry with me on business trips, and I will flip through them when I have time. He especially likes reading dictionaries and maps. There are all kinds of dictionaries and dictionaries in the bookcase in his office. When encountering problems, my father likes to open the dictionary to find out. Wherever he goes, he often looks at the map and finds his position, which may be a habit he left behind during the war. During the "*" period, my father lost his freedom, but gave him a rare opportunity to learn. From Beijing to Jiangxi, in a few years, he read a lot of Marxist-Leninist works, important historical works such as Zi Jian and Twenty-four History, as well as ancient and modern Chinese and foreign literary masterpieces. My father loved reading martial arts novels in his later years. He said that you don't have to use your head to read martial arts novels, you can relax, you can relax and you can have a rest. The office ordered him more than a dozen newspapers and magazines, and he read each one carefully and seriously, which became a channel for his father to understand the society and communicate with the world after retirement.

1959, my father's leg was broken. In order to exercise and restore the function of his legs, he has been walking every day for decades without interruption. Dad walks carefully, never slacks off, never plays tricks or cuts corners. The largest outside of my yard is about140m long. Before my father got sick, he had to go 18 times a day. As the body changes, it will decrease year by year. Finally, we must help him go, he is still insisting. Dad walks without talking or saying anything else, but his brain doesn't rest, and no one knows what he is thinking. But I think, from Beijing to Jiangxi, and then to Beijing, my father's policies and plans for the development of China cannot be said to have nothing to do with many long roads he has traveled.

Before walking every day, my father does exercise. That's a set of gymnastics he made for himself after retirement. Lifting legs, bending over and stretching arms are the simplest actions, but he does it very seriously.

Dad's favorite sport is swimming in the sea.

Dad doesn't like swimming in the swimming pool. The swimming pool is too small and there is no water.

The sea is different and the sky is boundless. Swimming in the sea on a sunny day is calm, the sea is buoyant, and the body floats with the waves. I feel very comfortable and really enjoy it. Meeting big waves is very challenging. You must master the rhythm and rhythm of the sea, otherwise, water will enter your mouth and choke it. We all like surfing. It's fun to see the waves coming, jump your feet, lift your body into the air by the waves, and then fall with them. Dad cherishes every opportunity to go to sea. Go to Beidaihe every year, and on the day he arrives, he will go to the sea; On the day he leaves, he will go sailing. No matter how cold it is and how big the waves are, he is reluctant to give up. Dad said, "You don't understand. It's comfortable to swim in rainy days and the water is warm." Every morning at ten o'clock, my family and my father go to the seaside and jump into the sea. Some children frolic in the water, while others swim freely in the sea. Dad seems to have completed the set task. As soon as he entered the sea, he went straight to the distant online game. Dad's swimming, like walking, never "cuts corners" and always swims around the largest circumference of the swimming area. There is a platform deep in the Caspian Sea in the swimming area, which is a place for everyone to rest. Dad never goes. Therefore, our whole family has developed the habit of swimming in the sea without going ashore and basking in the sun. Every time dad swims to the scheduled time, he has to wait until the children meet him and swim back with him, and then he walks to the beach with everyone contentedly. Once, halfway through the swim, it rained heavily, and a small red flag was hung on the shore to welcome everyone ashore. Dad said, "They shook it long ago, but not yet."

Dad is reluctant to leave the sea.

The years are ruthless. 1992 Dad is 88 years old. According to his physical condition, the medical team decided not to let him go to sea.

That summer, our family went to Beidaihe for the last time. Beidaihe is sunny and sunny, and the weather is particularly good. Dad sat on the shore watching us swim, and his heart itched. Every morning when he gets up, he will ask, "What's the weather like today?" How strong is the wind? How high is the water temperature? Is the wave big? People around him knew his thoughts, so they pitied him and asked Wu Weiran, the president of Beijing Hospital. After research, I finally agreed with my father to go to sea. Dad is very happy. The nurse said to him gently, "behave better in the sea today and swim less." We can swim tomorrow, ok? " "It's hard to go down, I won't!" Dad at this time is really like a wayward child.

That year, my father went to the sea eight times, each time for about 45 minutes. This is the last time he swam in the sea in his life.

three

Playing bridge is my father's lifelong hobby.

1952, when my father was still working in the Southwest Bureau, he once passed by Neijiang and met a friend who taught him to play bridge. Since then, playing bridge has become his main entertainment after work. Dad said that only by playing bridge can his brain really rest and stop thinking about other things. After retirement, dad has more time to play bridge. He said: "I can play bridge, which shows that I have a good brain;" I can swim, which means I am in good health. "

Dad is quick-witted and accurate when playing cards. Shuffle, deal cards, bid, play cards, score points, every step is very serious. He is decisive and quick, strategizing, and is known as a general. Dad never gives up at cards and likes to win. When there is a dispute, he always tries to find out the answer.

Once, it was time to close the cards. Nannan said to his father, "You shouldn't have played that card just now." Dad didn't speak at that time. The next day, as soon as everyone sat on the stage, he spread the cards of the previous day on the table: "You say, who is wrong?" He was unconvinced by Nannan's criticism.

Sometimes at the end of the game, the scores are almost the same. If dad is a few points short, he will ask, "One more." He also wants to win the final victory.

If the opponent falls behind, he will also say, "One more." Give each other a chance. In fact, he doesn't want to accept the card himself.

Dad is not sociable, but he has formed a deep friendship with his card friends.

Today, there are some precious bridge souvenirs in the glass bookcase in Dad's office. One of them was a letter of appointment from the Chinese Bridge Association in July, 1988, in which Dad was appointed honorary chairman of the Association. And the honorary gold medal certificate issued by the World Bridge Association on June 5th, 1993, in recognition of my father's outstanding contribution to the promotion and development of bridge in the most populous China and the world.

Dad watches TV every day.

He must watch News Network at seven o'clock every night, which is another important channel for him to know the world. Dad likes Beijing opera, especially the drama school. Later, when I was old and my ears were bad, I seldom watched it. Dad also likes Sichuan opera. Before "*", when Sichuan Opera came to Beijing, Dad, Zhu De's Dad and Uncle Chen Yi all had to watch it. After "*", I never had a chance to watch Sichuan Opera again. Sometimes, dad watches TV plays, but because his ears can't hear clearly, we need sisters or staff to explain it to him. The Spring Festival is full of joy and excitement every year. Father must sit with our family and watch CCTV's Spring Festival Gala, talking and laughing. After all the hardships, the Spring Festival reunion is especially cherished by our whole family.

Dad is a football fan and never gets tired of watching sports programs. Dad likes football best. It is said that when he was in France, he pawned a dress to watch football. Now he must watch TV, football and volleyball, especially the World Cup or the women's volleyball match in China. If he can't see the broadcast time, ask Park Fang to record it for him and watch it again when he has time. Looking at the game on the screen, he was as nervous as if he were there. As long as China wins, he will be happy. He couldn't help clapping his hands and said to the people around him, "clap quickly!" Encourage encouragement. " In some competitions, such as gymnastics and diving, he watched and scored with the referee on the court. His score for China players is generally higher than that of the judges. China's little player won the prize, and his father was very happy. For a time, table tennis in China went downhill. Dad said, "China can't win table tennis because you don't watch it!" " Dad's ball addiction is actually his patriotism.

Dad eats quickly and is not picky about what he does and eats. But he likes Sichuan's hometown dishes best: Sichuan-style pork, steamed pork, braised pork ... especially big fat meat. Dad also likes to eat baked sweet potatoes, even with the skin. I like fresh and aged corn, whether cooked or roasted. When these things come on the market every year, they are often placed on our dining table.

Dad never eats snacks, but he always drinks two cups of Maotai before meals, and then changes it into Shaoxing rice wine, with some snacks such as peanuts, pumpkin seeds and pig ears. It tastes delicious. This is his little privilege and special enjoyment. Happy as he is, he often likes to share his own side dishes, fruits and delicious food on the table with his grandchildren, or say, "Come on, fatty!" " You have a drink, too "

Leftovers in our house are not allowed to be thrown away, but made into braised dishes and risotto, and we will eat them next time. Dad said, "The fool is the one who can't eat leftovers." None of our family should be fools.

Dad is very punctual, having dinner at home at midnight, noon and 6: 30 in the evening, which has remained unchanged for decades.

Four generations of our family live under the same roof, from the old to the young, with more than a dozen mouths and two tables. Not many people often eat at home at noon. Everyone calls them "members of the Standing Committee", and the rest are "guerrillas".

Dad likes to be lively when eating. When there are few people at the dinner table, he will say, "Oh dear! How cold and sunny it is today! " When he can't see any grandchildren, he will ask, "Where have you been?"

The dining table is the place where our family get together, and it can also be said to be the "information exchange center" of our family. More than a dozen people, each concerned about a stall, from state affairs to road news, everyone was noisy, with a wide range of topics and extraordinary excitement. Speaking of literature, my father advocates reciting. At the dinner table, we recited the story of Yueyang Tower, Mulan's poems, and the long couplet of Kunming Grand View Tower ... Everyone scrambled to the back to see who recited more, and adults and children fought together. You say this and I say that, and the atmosphere is very touching. When talking about history, children will discuss how Kong Ming and Cao Cao are. Speaking of culture, we also talk about opera, ballet and symphony; Talking about which painter, which genre, style ... cultural topics, historical figures, events, analysis of various things in real life, praise and criticism, noise ... broad vision, atmosphere-these have become a unique "landscape" of our family, which not only has a great impact on the overall thinking and cultural level of our grandchildren, but also benefits our children for life.

Dad seldom talks at the dinner table, but he likes the relaxed, lively and harmonious air. We three sisters are like mothers. They are outspoken. They all talk loudly at home and often like to play a little joke. Dad sometimes joins in and says, "When you quarrel with Khrushchev, you don't need to bring other weapons, just bring a Deng Nan." Nan Nan said, "It's all because my father's ears are bad that I became a loud voice."

Dad likes children best. The three eldest brothers in our family were all born during the war, and we rarely had the opportunity to be with our father when we were children. Shortly after Mao Mao and Feifei were born, we moved to Beijing. At the beginning of the founding of New China, my father was very busy at work. Generally, few people enter his office for fear of disturbing him. But Mao Mao and Feifei are exceptions. Since childhood, they have been under their father's desk, rolling and playing house on the carpet. Dad will never get tired. When Mao Mao and Feifei grow up, they will buy a little doll. One by one, the children of relatives were taken into our family, and when they grew up, they were replaced. Dad said it was a "living toy"! Our whole family likes it.

1973 In the spring, our family returned to Beijing. Several grandchildren were born one after another. My son MengMeng, Mao Mao's daughter Yangyang, and finally Feifei's son Xiaoer. Grandchildren have brought great happiness to grandpa!

Grandpa loves every grandson. If someone is missing, he must ask and find it. In recent decades, he has never been in a shop. 1992 in Shanghai, he was arranged to go shopping in Shanghai, and he suddenly offered to go shopping himself. He bought four pencils and four erasers and gave them to his four grandchildren. We said to the children: What does this mean? This is grandpa asking you to "study hard and correct your mistakes", understand!

Dad was happy in his later years. He went through a lot of hardships and never came back. It is the greatest comfort in his life to see with his own eyes that the ideals he has struggled for all his life have been realized one by one, that ordinary people have begun to live a rich life, and that the country has changed day by day!

Deng Lin's resume

* the daughter. 194 1 was born in Shexian county, Hebei province in September. My ancestral home is Guang 'an County, Sichuan Province. 65438-0962 entered the Chinese Painting Department of the Central Academy of Fine Arts and graduated from 65438-0967. 1969 to 1973 working in the countryside. Later, he was transferred to Beijing Painting Academy as a full-time painter and deputy director of flower and bird painting workshop. From 65438 to 0986, he was transferred to the Chinese Painting Research Institute as a full-time painter. At present, he is a first-class artist, a member of China Artists Association and vice president of China Association for the Promotion of International Friendship.

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