"My elder sister wants to buy a house, and you pay 300,000 yuan to marry him". How to treat Phoenix Man divorced by his girlfriend?

"God is ready early in the morning. He lined up all the school-age girls and assigned a small box to everyone. The box is full of emotions, fame and fortune, marriage, love, different weights, but different styles. Every girl gets a box, which is the opportunity of her life. "

Love and marriage have an inestimable influence on a woman's life. Marry a reliable, responsible, self-loving and clear man, and a woman wins at the starting line; Marry a man who is unreliable, irresponsible and doesn't know how to care about his wife, and a woman's life may fall from heaven to hell.

As there is such a thought-provoking saying in "My First Half Life":

"A woman has a good husband to keep up appearances, and her value suddenly doubles. As soon as her husband left, she immediately returned to her original shape. "

Marriage is a woman's second reincarnation, but compared with our passive birth in this world, you have a choice this time. You can be the master of your own marriage. Similarly, you must bear the consequences of your choice, whether it is good or bad. Therefore, before getting married, women must think clearly, analyze the pros and cons clearly, and don't be carried away by love.

In another month, Lin Xin and his girlfriend who have been in love for four years can get married. However, as his good friend, I was very surprised to get the news that his wedding was cancelled. Then, I received his message. At his request, I listened carefully to his emotional experience and came to a conclusion that it was a good thing that the girl didn't marry him.

For the convenience of narration and reading, I will tell Lin Xin's story in the first person.

0 1. In order to provide for my study, my sister gave up the opportunity to go to college;

I was born in a peasant family and lived in a brick house without tiles. My family has only two sources of income. One is the ten mu of land that grandpa and dad have worked hard to cultivate, and the other is the money that mom raised chickens and ducks.

I have a sister who is two years older than me. My parents and grandparents worked hard and used the money they earned as tuition for my sister and me to study. I hope we can go to college, leave this barren land forever and live a good life.

When I was about to be promoted, my father had a car accident. Because we can't find the perpetrator, we have to bear the medical expenses ourselves. Finally, we borrowed all our relatives. Although I saved my father, our family's economy was completely destroyed.

Grandpa told us that the money at home can only be read by one person, so let us make our own choices. At this point, my sister is about to be promoted to senior three. With her top three grades, there is no problem getting into one book at all. However, I don't want to give up my studies and become a wage earner.

Just when I was confused about the future, my sister found me and told me her decision to work in a coastal city: "No way, our family needs a capable boy. My parents don't value boys, and I have been trying to provide me with an education until now. I can't be so selfish and let you make sacrifices. "

My sister went to work in the south, and I was promoted to a key high school. Studying hard and changing the fate of the whole family by my own efforts are my motivation to persist.

02. I became a Phoenix man and fell in love with a simple city girl;

After my sister goes out to work, she gives my father money for my study every month. With the support of my sister, I finished high school and was admitted to a key university. When I was in college, I wanted to work part-time to earn some living expenses, but my sister objected: "Don't think that there is no pressure to study when I go to college? You must not fail this course. You have to graduate with honors to find a good job. Don't worry about money, I'm here! "

My sister paid a heavy price for my education. She has been away from home for many years and has hardly bought herself any decent clothes. She talked about two boyfriends, one of whom went to the point of talking about marriage, but the marriage broke up because of me.

After graduating from college, I entered the bank and met my girlfriend Xiao Juan.

Compared with me, Xiao Juan's family is much better. Her parents both have jobs, and their monthly income is more than my parents' annual income from farming. They have two houses at home, and Xiao Juan has a brother who is studying abroad.

03. As an older woman, my sister can finally get married;

After four years of dating, Xiao Juan and I decided to get married.

Knowing my family background, Xiao Juan's parents and brother all opposed our marriage without exception. Just when I was extremely disappointed, Xiao Juan's sentence "If you don't let me marry Lin Xin, I won't marry" forced her parents to compromise and let us get engaged.

In order to prove my intention, I took the initiative to pay Xiao Juan a hundred thousand bride price. When the dust of my marriage settled, our family ushered in a double happiness. The 32-year-old sister succeeded in blind date and is about to get married. The whole family was ecstatic.

04. My sister's fiance asked her to pay half the down payment for the wedding room, and the whole family pinned their hopes on me.

Just when our family was worried about two marriages, a request from the prospective brother-in-law puzzled our family. The prospective brother-in-law took a fancy to a wedding room, with a down payment of 600,000 yuan, and asked her sister to pay half of the down payment for the wedding room.

Because my sister is old, our family didn't ask the prospective brother-in-law for a bride price, and now we need a down payment of 300 thousand. This request really stumped my parents. However, we dare not refuse, for fear that my sister will never get married again.

So they put their hopes on me. However, where do I have money?

After I have a job, I send at least half of my income home every month, decorate my house, treat my elderly grandmother and take medicine, subsidize my sister's living expenses and give Xiao Juan bride price money. So, I don't have any savings.

My emergency rescue method ruined my relationship with my girlfriend for four years.

Under the constant urging of the prospective brother-in-law, my mother was also anxious. She found me and cried and said to me, "If your sister doesn't marry, she will die alone. She has done so much for you, you can't ignore it! Although you don't have money, the Xiao Juan family do! In this way, let Xiao Juan marry your sister and buy a house for 300,000 yuan! Anyway, she has a brother, and property is hard to get. If we don't use this time, our family will be hurt. "

Mom's words made my heart beat. After all, my sister's marriage is also a heart disease to me. I believe that Xiao Juan, who loves me deeply, will understand me and be willing to help my sister. If it's a big deal, I'll write an IOU as my loan.

"My sister is going to buy a house when she gets married. You can marry 300 thousand to help clear the warehouse! Or my sister's marriage will be ruined. My sister is very kind to me, and I owe her too much. "

What I didn't expect was that after listening to my words, Xiao Juan not only refused to marry him, but also left a sentence "I'm really sorry, I don't owe you money, it doesn't make sense", so he returned the bride price and blacked me out. In this way, I was divorced by my girlfriend and lost my upcoming beautiful marriage.

06. Your spouse, who doesn't owe your family, doesn't get married but pays off the debt.

As Lin Xin's girlfriend said, she doesn't owe Lin Xin anything. Although Lin Xin's sister has great kindness to her brother, it is reasonable for Lin Xin to repay her sister's kindness. But to some extent, it is necessary to repay her kindness, which needs to be based on what she can bear, rather than sacrificing her happiness to repay her kindness, let alone asking her spouse to repay her kindness.

Your spouse, don't owe your family. She was brought up by her parents, and she only needs to repay her parents' kindness, not your family's.

As your spouse, she doesn't owe your family money, and there is no reason to subsidize your family with her own money;

As your spouse, she doesn't owe your parents alimony, so she has no obligation to let your parents bully her, and she has no obligation to bear the burden of serving her in-laws alone.

As your spouse, she owes you nothing, has no obligation to give you anything you want, and is even less obligated to be angry with you.

As a man, we should be clear about our lover's status, our responsibilities, and keep certain boundaries with our relatives.