Let girls chat happily about their lovers' jokes and text messages.

1, 9 said to 3, except you, it's still you. What a romantic number. For you, I think there is a number tailored for you. This magic number is 4, except 2, it is still 2!

2. The white rabbit Q B ran after Big Wolf, and Big Wolf was filled with indignation and chased after him. Rabbits dress up as gray rabbits with mud and read newspapers with glasses. The wolf asked, can you see a white rabbit? Rabbit: Is it the wolf's little white rabbit? Wolf shame: I'm KAO, so soon?

3. The monitor asked: Who is the largest officer in our platoon? A: It's a platoon leader. The monitor asked again: Who's under the teacher? The recruit replied: The teacher rode the horse.

Xiao Li in the office said to Xiao Zhang, I'll tell you a good news and a bad news, which should I listen to first? Xiao Zhang: Bad news. Xiao Li: The good news I want to tell you is false.

5. However, if it grows to 1cm, you have to replace the iphone 4s with the iphone 5. You should be glad that your girlfriend doesn't have the same idea.

6, don't ask me how much I love you, run to the sun to bask in the sun, the sun represents my feelings; Don't ask me how long I have loved you. Looking up at the lonely starry sky. The moon represents my heart!

7. The moon on the first day bends and bends. People who miss you are so lonely. The moon garden in the fifteenth is so beautiful. I can't sleep at night without you. The moon is shy tonight. I miss you so much that the moon represents my heart!

8. In junior high school math class, the teacher talked about equation transformation. On the podium, he rolled up his sleeves and shouted: Attention, students! I'm going to change!

9. Once upon a time, there were two people, one named Zhuang and the other named Xiao. One day, Xiao disappeared. Zhuang happened to see a group of people fighting, so he went over and said, I'll find Xiao! The gang paused and said, are you faking it? Yes, I am!

10. Look at the girl across the street. The seed of lonely boy's love needs you to give me some love.

1 1. Son: Dad, tell me a story. Dad: OK. Once upon a time, there was a frog. Son: No, I want to hear historical stories. Dad: OK. In the Song Dynasty, there was a frog.

12, committing fraud: a university law department will take the criminal law exam one day. The first question the professor asked the students was: What is the crime of fraud? The student replied, if you don't let me take the exam, you will commit fraud. The professor was surprised: how to explain it? The student said: According to the criminal law, anyone who makes use of others' ignorance to make them suffer losses is guilty of fraud.

13, humorously quoting the old saying: 1, the authorities are fascinated, and onlookers dare not say it. 2, the mountain is not too high, the water is not too deep, and the money is not too much. I have a long career in Xiu Yuan, so I will have ups and downs. 4, the crowd looked for her thousands of Baidu, suddenly looking back, that person is next to the luxury car. 5, my son is in Sichuan: the pollution is so fierce! 6, well water does not invade the river, and the river pollutes the well water. 7. Who is the world hero? Don't! Laozi is the first.

14, the vast sky makes you fly high, beautiful stories are played by you, kind children have to chase, and humorous messages are sent to the little turtle!

15, the child is considering issues related to heredity and environment. Mom interjected: This question is very simple. As we all know, children who look like their fathers are inherited. Like neighbors, that is the environment.

16, sleeping with beautiful women, excited to death; Sleeping with an ugly girl is worse than dying; Sleeping with hot girls is exhausting; Sleeping with your lover, drunk and dreaming; Sleeping with supermodels is expensive to death; Sleep with your wife and play dead all night. Sleeping with a man hurts like hell.

Go to hell. Dude, how are you gonna die tonight?

17, Khrushchev visited the farm, and the reporter took photos of him and the pig in the pigsty. The next day, I saw a postscript in the newspaper: the third from the left is Comrade Khrushchev.

18. The chimpanzee accidentally stepped on the stool pulled by the gibbon. After the gibbon cleaned it gently and carefully, they fell in love. People ask how they are together. Chimpanzees said with emotion: ape dung! It's all ape shit!

19, the nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, so she went over and whispered to him: sweetheart! The patient smiled and said, little baby.

20.a: My wife and I had a big fight last night, and all the dishes at home were thrown out from the balcony on the seventh floor. The result ... What was the result? A: The building where I live this morning is surrounded by a group of scientists who specialize in flying saucers.

Jokes and text messages that amuse girls.

Jokes and text messages that amuse girls.

1. With you in my life, my heart has found a permanent home. Every time I think of you, I will show a happy smile. Every time I think about our future, I am very excited. This is the taste of love. Dear, I want to be with you forever.

2. Green mountains and green waters are lovely, and beautiful women are loved by everyone. For the sake of the next generation of the motherland, we must fall in love.

Let the cup of parting be filled with the wine of love. On the day of reunion, I will give it to you personally, so that the tears of acacia can moisten the dry heart and make the eternal love exude intoxicating fragrance. Our hands will never be separated, our hugs will only give people warmth and peace of mind, our vows will go to the temple together, and we promise that every afterlife will be accompanied.

4, you have taken root in ... look at your long uncanny workmanship, rare in the sky, unparalleled on the ground, I thought that heaven and man are one, others did not believe it, and later believed it.

Honey, I think I am very happy. From the beautiful encounter to the infatuated love, from the romance of love at first sight to the promise of life and death, the five days that passed in a hurry made us seem to have experienced several years of love transformation.

6. Take out your mobile phone from time to time to see if there are any short messages for you or missed calls. I can't help texting you, because I miss you very much, and I don't know if you miss me, too.

7. I can't help dialing your number, just want to hear your lovely and gentle voice. Honey, I miss you very much today.

8. Sister, sister, I love you and sing a love song for you. Whether it is cold or warm, it is happy or sad. I miss you in the toilet, so send a message.

9. Even in that dream, your name was called softly. Maybe you are like a seed, planted in my heart, sprouting and growing sturdily in the days, entangled in my heart, how can I pull you out!

10, when I was looking at you, a voice came from the sky: Hua Gai, the meal is ready, come back and kiss ... no matter how sweet the phone call is and how comforting the fax is, it is not enough to cope with the distance that I can't hug you.

1 1 But you are everywhere, and the whole air is filled with your breath, which breaks my whole heart. . . . . A joke that amuses girls.

12, where there is no sky, where there is land, where there is no cloud, where there is rain, where there is no world, and where there is you. I am the sky, I am the cloud, and my world includes you. I still remember when I bought you from the pig market …

A joke that amuses girls.

First of all, it used to be an island. I don't know why everyone disappeared, leaving only two men and an ugly woman. A man can't help marrying this woman! The other waited for eighteen years, and he smiled, because they had a beautiful daughter.

In the second year of class reunion, just one person was missing, so I ordered first, and the restaurant served soon. When our classmates didn't come for a long time, we ate first until all the plates bottomed out, and the waiter's secret service quickly put away all the empty plates. At this moment, my classmates arrived. He looked at the empty table and said, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting so long. Let's order! This meal is on me! Hearing this, we didn't explain, and silently picked up the menu again.

Third, my buddy chased Ban Hua, and after some painstaking efforts, he finally made progress! At this time, a strong rival in love suddenly appeared, and the other side looked like a typical Gao Fushuai! My buddy looked miserable and B asked me for help. This day in the canteen, I saw the elder sister and the Gao Fushuai sitting together! The brother went up to the man decisively and said, you bastard, you betrayed me. Pretend to be sad and run! Hey, man, that's all I can do.

Son: "Dad, our art teacher is so stupid that he doesn't even know horses!" " "Dad:" How do you know? Son: "I drew a horse in art class today." The teacher looked at it and asked me what I drew. "

A female colleague of mine had a drink together yesterday. My female colleague told me that she was very happy and wanted to sleep on my shoulder. When I was talking, I leaned over ... I was anxious on the spot, slapped my face and said, damn it, I said drink three boxes. Whoever pays the bill first, I'll go back on my word, eat the king's meal and roll my calves for Lao Tzu. ...

6. One day in the summer vacation, my girlfriend came to my house, O.O.X.X, and her knee was skinned by a bamboo mat. My girlfriend was wearing a short skirt. Because of her guilty conscience, I had to help her think of a reasonable explanation to cover up the past. When I told her, I just said that I tripped and fell on my knees while walking, which led to this. My girlfriend said yes and went home. After a while, my girlfriend sent me a short message: as soon as I got home, I saw my mother's knees were skinned! We didn't ask anyone, and now we are rubbing medicine.

Spiders love ants deeply, but they are rejected when expressing their love. The spider roared, "Why? Why is this? " The ant said timidly, "My mother said that people who surf the Internet all day are not good people!" " "

Eight, daughter-in-law playing with her husband's mobile phone, accidentally fell to the ground, the phone case and battery fell out, and there was 100 yuan hidden inside. The daughter-in-law glanced at her husband: "Explain!" The husband said in panic, "My God! What a terrible fall! I lost my phone bill ... "My husband grabbed my daughter-in-law's mobile phone and threw it on the bed. A man climbed out of bed. Husband: "What is this?" The daughter-in-law panicked and said, Oh, my God, all the contacts have fallen out!

9. An old lady, with several beads in her hand, read Amitabha, Amitabha and shouted, "Han, Han, there are too many ants in the pot. I hate it. Please burn them with fire for me. " Then read: "Amitabha, Amitabha." Then he shouted, "Han, Han, help me take the ash off the bottom of the pot, and don't use your own dustpan, because if it burns out, you can borrow it from your neighbor's house." Remember, remember. Amitabha, Amitabha. "

Ten, while the dormitory roommate is taking a shower, change the girlfriend number stored in his mobile phone to mine, and send him a text message "Husband, I am pregnant" in bed at night. I saw that guy suddenly turn over and get out of bed. Badabada smoked a pack of cigarettes and borrowed money from the dormitory.

Eleven, one day I saw a buddy and said to him, "Dude, are your jeans still worn out?" The buddy said: "This is popular now, and you know a ball." I looked at his chrysanthemum and thought that city people really know how to play. ...

Twelve, two girls found Aladdin's magic lamp, and the lamp god is willing to satisfy everyone's wishes. A says first: My wish is twice that of B. B Take your time: I hope my figure is 38, 24, 38.

Thirteen, the passenger ship passed a desert island, and there was a skinny guy screaming and waving on the island. Tourist: Who's that? C: I don't know. Every year when our ship passes by here, he will go crazy!

Fourteen, two gentlemen hunting, one shot, a wild duck fell to the ground. The other said, Good shot! However, this shot is completely unnecessary. I fell from such a high place and died!

Xiaobai is a sophomore and often skips classes. Xiaobai went to a computer class that day. When the teacher saw him coming, he was surprised and said, "Xiao Bai, long time no see." Last time I saw you, you were wearing short sleeves. You are wearing a down jacket today ... "

Sixteen, shortly after the wedding, my mother came to the house and saw that the house was a mess. He severely scolded his wife, who was very wronged. After her mother left, she grabbed her mobile phone and called her mother-in-law to complain. Crying for a long time, the other party didn't say a word. Finally, I said, "Call again next time. I am your mother-in-law. "

Xiao Ming asked Xiao Qiang, "Are you a genius or an angel?" Xiao Qiang said, "Genius, of course." Xiao Ming said, "Well, I get trampled every day." Xiao Qiang said, "Then I am an angel." Xiao Ming said, "Father in the sky." Then he turned and left.

Once upon a time, there was a duck named Xiao Huang. One day when crossing the street, he was knocked down by a car. He let out a cry and turned into a cucumber.

Nineteen, the wife asked Laoku: "Will we break up in the future?" Lao Liang said, "No.""If we break up, who will be more hurt?" "face."

Twenty, when the dentist pulled out a very irregular strange tooth for the patient, he said, "Sit tight, sit tight, relax, don't be afraid, it doesn't hurt at all, and it will be all right soon!" The patient who opened his mouth said, "Come on, lie to me, I am a dentist myself!" " "

2 1. Can't you unplug the mobile phone charger? I didn't bring the plug of the charger at the front desk today, and then she will charge the mobile phone in the classroom. Can't she charge without a plug? So she wanted to borrow it from me. At that time, she turned to me and asked, "Did you take the lead in coming to school?" I was speechless at that time. What should I say?

Twenty-two-year-old Frye talked about a European girlfriend. She met a red light when crossing the road hand in hand. Frye dragged her girlfriend through the red light. Her girlfriend held his hand and said, "Don't you dare run a red light. You must have done something bad. Breaking up is not negotiable. " A year later, Frye made a girlfriend in China. At the red light, the girl grabbed Frye's hand and tried to rush over. Frye dare not. The girl was furious: "You dare not even run a red light. You must be worthless in your life. Breaking up is not negotiable. "

Jokes to please girls.

1, the chill is coming quietly, because your cuteness is specially explained to you. Keep warm when you go out to prevent swine flu, show your head when you sleep, and don't suffocate your pig. There is nothing wrong with eating a bone. I heard that this way can supplement calcium!

2. In class, a boy fell asleep at his desk and was found by the teacher. The teacher is very calm: the deskmate cares very much. As a result, the deskmate took off his coat and put it on the sleeping boy.

I was a pink graffiti pig when I received this message. Delete this information is African Piglet. Reply to this message. It's a wild boar in the wild pig forest. No reply. This is a Rwandan pig. The storage is Ukrainian white pig. It was forwarded by a local tyrant and a stupid pig. Hey, hey, what do you do?

4. You have a bold and unrestrained personality, and you have the ideal of galloping in Wan Li, but no matter how far you go, you will never forget me, and you can't live without me, because your reins are always in my hands.

If there is a rule that a person can only be kind to one person in his life, I would like that person to be you. I have no regrets until I die, and I am willing to work overtime with you! But this is not the case. Then forget it! I go home to sleep, you continue to work overtime!

6. Someone posted a question: If China and the Philippines may go to war and let you go to the front, what can your major do? There were all kinds of replies, and then a foodie suddenly became quiet: eat up their food.

7. Walking on the playground last night, Lu Yu's frog pretended to be cool, vomited, vomited, and only hit the tree with his head! The boy below is right: Last night, when the stadium was cool, I saw a dinosaur hit a tree. * * * *, pity that little tree!

8. Four happy events of He Xinchun after Yucun was born: bright and shining snowflakes floating in a window; Big eggs and potatoes are collected in a warehouse; Sour mature vinegar is brewed into a jar; Handsome men and beautiful women couples squeeze into a kang.

9. Dad is going to travel, and his wife bought him a pair of anti-theft underwear. It is safe to take money with you on the road. The old man never heard of it, complaining: Who would steal my underwear, which would be necessary for anti-theft?

10, I heard that you were numb, crazy, shivering and sweating all over last night. Everything was spinning, screaming and dying. Oh, nothing touched the high-voltage line!

1 1. An old farmer bought Viagra and fed it to the drake. The next day, the drake disappeared, but the old farmer went to find the duck and saw that the mother duck in the village was sunburned to death. He looked up and saw the drake standing on the treetop and asked him why. The duck says, I miss the eagle!

12. My son picked up a billiards in the street and threw it around. His father looked at it and said, be careful, don't break people. After listening, the son asked, Dad, can a good person smash it?

13, it is very hot in summer. Some people say that sleeping with pets can calm your heart, so it's not so hot. I tried to do it. As a result, my penguin died the next day, and I plan to sleep with you tonight.

14 patient: I have insomnia; Doctor: These medicines, Huang can dream of Andy Lau; Red can dream of F4; Jeff Chang Shin-Che Shenche's White Dream. Patient: What about me? Doctor: Then you can meet Leslie Cheung.

15. Do you know the latest abbreviation of envy, jealousy and hate? Let me tell you: humph ~ cut ~ bah! Pot friends, children's shoes, isn't this too vivid, too in place, too powerful?

16, what kind of language can express my mood at this time; What kind of action can express my love at the moment; Whisper your nickname-pig, you are the only one in my life, and continue in the afterlife!

17, when I have money: buy two fans, one for myself and one for me; Send two short messages, one annoying you and the other coaxing you. I have no money now, so I'll text you first!

18, your disheveled hairstyle surpasses Japanese and Korean handsome guys, you mix and match clothes, your melancholy eyes are unpredictable, and your cool posture of smoking is unspeakable. You think you are a peerless model, but in fact you are the second brother sharp.

19, inadvertently looking back, facing your fiery eyes. You are as warm as wine, and I feel ashamed. You followed me closely, and I started to run away, shouting: Whose dog is this? Let it drift!

20.a: What do you mean by postdoctoral? You don't know either? It's the doctor's wife. A: why? B: Because the emperor's wife is called the queen, the king's wife is called the queen, and the doctor's wife is of course called the postdoctoral fellow!

2 1, you were really naughty when you were a child! In order to put an end to forest fires, people put up a slogan: Please don't leave any kindling! The next day, the smoker had nothing to hide, and the little couple ran away at first sight, so you removed the two points of the word fire!

22, eight don't understand: the leader toasts you don't drink, the leader touches it first, the leader goes by car, the leader talks nonsense, the leader takes a shower, you turn the table, and the leader listens to the cards and touches it yourself.

23, a river spring water a Jiang Tao, a mountain is higher than a mountain, send a message to the straw bag, the straw bag must take out his mobile phone, take out his mobile phone and look down. It's not difficult to forward it after reading it, and your fingers are as fast as electricity. I want it back to me!

24.m: It's raining heavily today. Woman: Yes. Man: That's because God is drooling over you. W: So that gust of wind just now was God farting on you?

25. The wonderful thing about teaching Chinese characters to foreign students is that it is crooked, but it is incorrect; A prisoner is a person who is locked up! The teacher asked the students: What is the symbolic explanation of the word donkey? ! An international student replied: Donkeys are horses with hukou!

26. Someone was bitten by a dog and went to the hospital to take medicine. The doctor is getting ready to leave work: look at the time. Don't you know when you should come to work? The man said: I know, but the dog doesn't understand!

When my husband came home from work, he saw a box of cakes with three candles on it. He asked: Whose birthday is it today? The wife next to me replied coldly that it was this dress on me. I am 3 years old today!

28, a group of matches crowded together to keep warm, firecrackers saw the crowd and said: Hey, brother, I haven't finished yet, I heard a bang, and the matches said: Brother, you don't have to dig out your heart to keep warm!

29. I have a cat at home. In winter, when the cat was asleep, I secretly put a hot water bottle under its body. Within ten seconds, the cat rushed under the bed at a rocket-like speed, and its feet spread out like gray machines, which has achieved the effect of rapid cooling.

30. My family has a sow and a group of piglets. If you are willing to come and live in my house, I will sell the sow and live with you wholeheartedly.

3 1, my name is Doby, and my nickname is Doby. I used to tease you with my name and I teased you with my pen name. I tease you with my screen name, and I tease you with my motto. I'm just kidding. Still watching? Just be happy.

32. Thirty years requires the skills of senior engineers, thirty years of administrative relations and thirty years of political work. Ten years of leadership, ten years of professional titles, ten years of real power becoming a rich man, and ten years of political work empty-handed.

33. My little nephew was ill once. After he came back from the hospital, he kept crying and said, I want to become a turtle. Why did he become a turtle? Answer: The tortoise's shell is so big and hard that the needle can't get in.

34. Is it possible that an ant really climbed from Sichuan to Tokyo? Answer: Climb on the map. The bell rang, but no one was in the classroom. What happened? Answer: I went to physical education class.

35. When I first met Xifeng, I thought that just because of her face, no one dared to recognize the second place in the world. But now I find that I was wrong. Ever since I met you, I've known what "middle strong" means.

36. When you are sweet, you are my baby; When I am bored, you are my cat; When I am sad, you are my big brother; When you are spoiled, you are my support; In fact, I want to tell you loudly that you are all to me.

37. The sky is gray and wild, and the hope of making a fortune is too slim; Shuiwan Bay has a long road, and the days without money are long. This building is tall and busy. Can I rob a bank with you tonight? Joint code: baby, hungry mud!

38. Robber: Tell me the password of the safe! Don't say kill you! Salesgirl: I won't tell you if you kill me! You ruined me, and I won't tell! The robber looked her up and down and said, you must be beautiful!

39. Starting from tomorrow, the city has decided to drive away all the mentally retarded young people who are ugly and detrimental to the city appearance! Hurry up and pack your things, go out for shelter from the rain, and don't tell anyone that I informed you, remember! You are welcome!

40. One day, Xiao Qiang ate too much and walked too fast, and ran into a beautiful girl. Xiao Qiang was about to apologize, but his stomach complained and spit out a thread. The beautiful girl looked at Xiao Qiang and asked angrily, Am I so disgusting?

4 1. When can I get the money? Ask heaven for wine. I don't know which god of wealth in the sky cares today. I want to tighten my belt. Unfortunately, prices and house prices are soaring and there is little money. May the boss be merciful, the salary and bonus will be Shuang Sheng, and everyone will enjoy happiness!

If I had a candy, I would give it to you, because I want you to be happy. If I had two sweets, we would each have one. I think we would be very happy together. If I had three sweets, I would give you two, because I hope you have more cavities than me!

43. The director's driver is trying to wash the Nissan Bluebird. The director's female secretary came over and said with a smile, how did you wash the director's bird so clean? The driver said: it's easy to use after you wash it!

44. Not every flower can represent love, but roses do; Not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar can; Not every pig can read text messages, but you did. Congratulations!

45. The north and south sides of the volleyball court were in full swing, and a foreign audience shouted: Come on, South! Come on in the south! A fat girl refused to accept and shouted: Come on, woman! Come on, woman!

I went to the store and bought a box of instant noodles. On my way home, I suddenly felt like crying. Why do you always make do with it and not be better for yourself? So I ran back to the counter with tears in my eyes and shouted, Boss, another ham sausage!

47. Over the years, thank you for your silent company. Cold weather gives me warmth, hot weather is not too wet and salty, and always accommodates me and tolerates my shortcomings. Although there are flaws, you still don't dislike me. I miss your smell! Old socks.

48. A cavalry wife said to her husband: You talk in your sleep. There is a Jenny. Who is she? The husband replied, that's my horse. Ah, I'm not even as good as your horse! The wife said sadly.

49. In the new semester, the teacher announced the classroom discipline: you can have breakfast in class, but you need nutrition and steak; You can sleep, but cover yourself with a quilt; The only thing I care about is the mobile phone, because I will never allow anyone to disturb others' sleep!

50. You are pulling a pig with a happy face. I passed by and said sympathetically, it depends on who he is with. Before I finished, the pig abandoned you with disdain!

5 1, I lead the horse, you carry the burden, I walk in front, you watch the back, I eat the fruit, you complain, I give you a helpless face when I look at you, you laugh while eating, you say: monkey, this fruit is really delicious!

52. You have a mature face, a pair of squint eyes, a plaid shirt and an inheritance. It bubbled like a period. More importantly, I heard that you still have a long life. Is it true?/You don't say.

53. The Tang Priest decided to cast a spell on Pig and Friar Sand. When Bai was put on, the horse cried, Master, all you need is four more iron rings. I'm a BMW. Don't turn me into an Audi.

54. The man accidentally dropped a condom while taking change from the bus! The man was embarrassed and didn't know whether to answer it or not. At this moment, the MM on the side said: Brother, your brother dropped his work clothes!

55. In class, the teacher asked: 1 1V, 30V, 220V, 1000V, 3500V, which voltage can be touched and which voltage can't be touched? A student replied: you can touch anything, except that some voltages can only be touched once.

56. One day I went to dinner with my friends, and then I asked for a cucumber (whole). My friend said that the one you ate had thorns? I said no, and he said that it is usually used without thorns. Shit, I sprayed it.

57. My wife always thinks that married life is not romantic enough, so she says to her husband, How about we talk about love again? Who knows my husband waved at me and said, forget it, I don't want to go back to the evil old society!

58. Some people always avoid you and hate your smell, but I like to be close to you and even want to bite you. They asked me in surprise: at what age do you still like to eat stinky tofu?

59. The couple were having a lively fight when * * received a complaint and stopped it. An angry woman opened the door, * *: Who is the head of the household? W: I'll tell you later. My husband and I are deciding this matter!

Thank you for accompanying me to see flowers in spring, sunsets in summer, fallen leaves in autumn and snow in winter. Without you, no matter how beautiful the scenery is, thank you for your glasses!

6 1, rabbit, open the door. Today is the opening day. I'd like to come in: the door is open, and China people are blessed with an antai. The door of happiness is open, and happy things are happy every year. As soon as the auspicious door is opened, the auspicious star shines high and is auspicious. When the door of wealth opens, wealth gathers in all directions.

62. No matter what the day is, I will inform you: whether you admit it or not, you owe me a dime; Whether you have money or not, you have to pay me back a dime; Whether you give me money or not, you have to leave me a message and pay me back a dime!

63. I want to see the sea with you, but I can't grasp the unpredictable future; I want to go hiking with you, but I am confused about my ideal; I want to wander with you, but I can't go to a happy paradise; Want to go shopping with you, * * without a dog.

64. When the factory director was negotiating with foreign businessmen, the foreign businessmen had an itchy nose and sneezed. It happened that the translator around him also had an itchy nose, so he hit him. The director said unhappily, I don't need an interpreter, I understand!

65. Banana Orange On your first wedding night, Orange: You don't look like a man. You can't stand hard when you take off your clothes. Banana: I used to think you were plump, but now I know you are pregnant. Orange: I grew up drinking water from my daughter's country.

66. On this day, I made an appointment with my girlfriend to go to the movies. When I got on the bus, I thought I should call her and ask her to wait for me at home. I reached into my pocket and took it out. What a good remote control!

67. Seven years after graduation, I finally accepted a big project to build a 30-meter chimney. The construction period is two months, and the cost is 300,000, but it still needs funding. It was finally finished at the end of last year. Today, people went to check and accept, and they were scolded to death, and they still had no money. Shit! The drawings are upside down, and people are going to dig wells!

68. Before going to bed, I hung the mop on the dormitory door. In the middle of the night, a buddy got up and pulled the door at night. I felt a slender woman with long hair suddenly fall into his arms. A scream immediately rang out in the corridor: Who put the mop in front of my house?

69. The mental patient stopped the nurse: The password was allowed! The guard said: Ignore them. When the electric door opened, the patient quickly took out his notes and ignored them, complaining in his heart: Damn it, he changed his password again!

70. Spring has come, and the spring breeze has sent my blessing: the flowers are beautiful, and I wish you health, happiness and worry-free! Birds crow, I wish you success in your work and better career! You have received the blessing message. You see, I am so kind to you. You must pay for the meal tonight.

7 1, once, talking about diligence. A said: The early bird catches the worm. B said: the early worm doesn't feel right. At this time, C said: The early worm was eaten by the bird.

72. Zodiac get-together, with Long Dang as the general director, mice performing magic, cows tug-of-war, tigers drilling fire rings, rabbits running, snakes swimming, horses performing equestrian, sheep walking a tightrope, monkeys climbing poles, chickens singing, dogs standing guard, and finally pigs reading short messages.

73. Don't wronged yourself for others and change yourself. You are unique, precious and proud. Be sure to love yourself and eat more good things, because if you lose weight, Avanti will feel distressed!

74. A man was constipated when he went to the toilet. Suddenly he saw a man rush in, and it was stormy in an instant. Dude, I really envy you, so soon. Envy what? I haven't taken off my pants yet.

75. A man and a woman take the train. When the train passes through the long and dark tunnel. The man said: If I had known the tunnel was so long, I should have kissed you just now. The woman screamed, didn't you just kiss me?

76. A friend said that he has a durable old man who will take care of everything. A friend said that he has a very durable girlfriend and will not break up again; And I only have a boss who can stand it, and he won't give me a raise!

77. Bullshit and fart dog are brothers. Bullshit was punished by the teacher. The fart dog has been waiting for him to come home outside the door. When the teacher saw him, he asked, Why don't you go home? Fart dog replied: I am waiting for the teacher to talk nonsense!

78. English exam, the tape hasn't been played yet. But I finished the listening test! I didn't know today was an open-book exam until I handed in the history exam! When handing in the Chinese exam, I remember to copy the questions at my deskmate, and my signature was copied!

79. A boy inquired about a beautiful woman for several days and finally found out that she was a radio major. One day, he summoned up his courage and rushed to the beauty. Because he was so excited, he said, sister, listen to the accent. Are you a radio major?

80. My boyfriend said he would go to the bush where we were dating at night. When I arrived, I saw men and women inside. I called my boyfriend to tell him that our site had been discovered and his cell phone ringtone floated out of the bushes.

8 1. One day, it was called Bayi, with the word "Fayi". Once every eight generations, posthumous title is "800 Li". On this day, 80% of the pursuit will be realized once, 80% of the unwanted will be dissipated once, and 80% of the achievements will be rounded once. Happy Army Day.

82. Those who see that women can't walk are called flower addicts, those who like reading are called book addicts, and those who love martial arts are called martial artists. I heard that you don't have any hobbies, just like white, so you are called an idiot by Jianghu people.

Friend: Do you like dawn or dusk? A groupie: Who is dusk? Teacher: There is something, covered with beautiful feathers, to remind you to get up early every morning. What is this? Child: It's a feather duster!

84. The boy said to * *: Come on, someone hit my father! * * ran over with the boy, and sure enough, there were two people fighting. Which is your father? I don't know. That's why they quarreled.