What should I do if I feel that I have no topic with my partner?

Recently, a girl named Lareina C left a message in the background, asking this question: My boyfriend and I have been very unhappy recently. I often want to chat with each other, but my boyfriend just doesn't cooperate, says nothing and only listens to me. I'm depressed.

There is a psychological explanation: in fact, silence is a silent resistance. Boyfriend's refusal to communicate may be a refusal to communicate with you and this relationship. If this is the case, you need to change yourself first, change the mode of getting along with each other, and let the other party feel that you respect him and are sincere. The other party refuses to communicate, and more often there is a problem with the way and process of communication. If you want to communicate effectively with each other, you can start from the following four points.

0 1, mutual respect

Ask three questions first:

0 1, in the process of communication, have you always communicated calmly?

02. Didn't you show anger or dissatisfaction with any behavior or expression?

03. Are you blaming each other?

If you don't do this, it shows that you don't respect the other party, and the other party will feel very uncomfortable and communication will be difficult. We should realize that mutual respect is the premise of communication. We should talk well, just like parents and friends at ordinary times, temporarily put away our anger, open our hearts, put each other and ourselves on an equal footing and communicate calmly.

02. Listen carefully

Besides expressing yourself, it is also important to listen to each other. In life, few people can listen to us wholeheartedly, and people all hope that someone can. Therefore, when you listen to each other carefully, they will be more willing to open their hearts to you and let you see the more real side of ta.

In this process, you will know what ta thinks and where the problem lies, and you will know each other better and get closer to each other's heart. Good communication, listening is more important than expression. If two people can listen to each other carefully, it will be very effective to enhance their feelings.

03, empathy

The reason why two people have conflicts is because in life, some ideas, ideas and practices of the other party make you feel different. When you look at each other's behavior from your own point of view, sometimes you feel unreasonable and angry. Similarly, it is difficult for the other person to look at you with the same eyes.

At this time, if we can't understand each other and tolerate each other, contradictions will always exist. The premise of empathy is to listen to each other carefully and express your true thoughts at the same time. When the problem is completely exposed, it will be easier to solve it without two people guessing.

04, clearly express their needs.

An important part of communication is to clearly express your needs. Many people don't have such consciousness, and eventually they become complaining, accusing, arguing about who is right and who is wrong, and who pays more, and they break up in discord.

Before communicating, you should know what your needs are and whether they are reasonable. If not, adjust your needs first. When communicating, clearly express your needs and ask each other's needs. When two people know what the other wants them to do, the problem becomes simple and it is likely to be solved directly.