Marriage Customs

Notes on Engagement Customs

Engagement is also called "Wen Ding". It used to be called "Naji" and "Na Zheng". Although engagement is not as complicated as marriage, the traditional customs are still the same. It is very important that both men and women need to prepare a number of gifts. The process is as follows:

·The groom first performs family sacrifices at home, and then takes a car with the matchmaker to the bride's house to marry. After getting off the car and entering the door, you can't escape the red envelope!

(1) Tribute Officer: Commonly known as "Mr. Box", he is responsible for giving gifts and hiring. The tribute officer must control the number of people (an even number), the vehicles (six or twelve), the bride price (an even number and properly wrapped in red paper), and six gifts.

(2) Family Sacrifice: Before setting off to the woman’s home to accept the gift, the man first performs an ancestor worship ceremony at home. At this time, the “box cake” or large cake used for the gift will be offered as an incense offering. The ancestors of the Song Dynasty are about to go to the bride's house somewhere to hire a bride, and ask the ancestors to bless this marriage to be happy and happy.

(3) Departure: After the family sacrifices, the tribute officer is responsible for carrying all the betrothal gifts into the car, and the groom and the matchmaker ride together to go to the bride's house.

(4) Red envelopes: In addition to taking care of the number of people, cars, and betrothal gifts before departure, the Gongli Palace must also remind the groom to prepare more red envelopes. For example: the uncle who comes to open the groom's car door, the "pressing table", and the six accompanying relatives all need to prepare the bride's meeting gift, the bride's new friend holding face wash, and the matchmaker gift.

·How to make a betrothal after making a lifelong commitment

"Eat the fragrance of rice and marry a good son-in-law". Among the six rites, there must be rice cakes.

·Why prepare four-color candies?

It symbolizes the sweetness of the newlyweds and their longevity.

The betrothal gift not only represents the man's repayment to the woman's parents and thanks the woman's family for their hard work in raising the soon-to-be bride, but it also represents the man's face. Therefore, most people are willing to buy something that will make them look glamorous and decent, and every betrothal gift also contains the symbolic meaning of seeking good luck and increasing perfection.

The betrothal gift is usually divided into a simple six-piece gift or a more elaborate twelve-piece gift. The amount of the betrothal gift should be arranged according to the individual's budget. At the same time, you might as well ask a matchmaker to consult the girl's parents and ask for her opinions to create the best of both worlds. .

·The marriage between a man and a woman has officially begun

Thunder! Firecrackers sound, and the man to marry has arrived! On that day, ancestor worship and tea service are carried out, and the ceremony is not completed until the ring is worn that will hold the hand until the end of the head.

·After the big gift, how does the woman return the gift?

Chinese people have always paid attention to "reciprocity of courtesy". After the man has given you a big gift, the woman will naturally prepare a gift in return, but you can't let the man go away empty-handed.

Han Nationality - Marriage Customs

In the past, the marriages of Han young people were mostly arranged by their parents. Most of them were engaged by their parents since childhood, and some even married on the fingertips, that is, before the children were born. At birth, both parents establish a marriage relationship for them.

No marriage between men and women with the same surname: that is, men and women with the same surname should not marry each other. This rule started in the early Western Zhou Dynasty and was a legacy left over from when the Zhou people practiced exogamy. In the Spring and Autumn Period, people had further understanding that marriage with the same surname would cause deformities and infertility in the offspring, but marriages with the same surname still occurred from time to time among the nobles. After the Warring States Period, family names were used as surnames. After the Han Dynasty, surnames were not distinguished, so it was common for people with the same surname not to marry. By the Tang Dynasty, marriages with the same surname were prohibited according to the ancient system. The Song and Yuan Dynasties had the same Tang law. People with the same surname were married and divorced. During the Ming and Qing Dynasties, the area was larger and the population was large. It had already become a region-based society, replacing the original clan based on blood. Therefore, "Ming Code" and "Qing Code" both have the same surname and the same clan. On the surface, they prohibit intermarriage, but in fact, people with the same surname but different clans can get married. In the late Qing Dynasty, the laws were compiled to combine the non-marriage between people with the same surname and the non-marriage between relatives, and only prohibited marriage within the same clan.

Before getting engaged, a matchmaker should be invited to the bride’s house to propose marriage. When getting engaged, the man gives the woman some property as a "betrothal gift". When getting married, the woman also has to bring a lot of property to the man's family, which is called a "dowry".

On the day of the wedding, the groom will get in a ceremonial car or sedan chair and go to the bride's home to "welcome" her bride. There will be a band in front of the ceremonial car or sedan chair. After the bride is welcomed into the groom's home, she must pay homage to heaven, earth and her parents. After the ceremony, the newlyweds enter the bridal chamber. At this time, the groom's family held a banquet to entertain relatives and friends who came to congratulate him. In some places, there is a custom of making noise in the wedding room and listening to the comments.

Check the date: Han marriage customs. Also known as reporting the date. Popular in most counties and townships in Guangxi. A step in rural marriage negotiation and engagement. After the young man and woman get to know each other, they inform their parents and ask a matchmaker to communicate. The man gives the woman a gift and then decides on a wedding date.

In the old days, people often asked a fortune teller to arrange the "eight characters", and then proceed only if the fortunes match. In some places, both parents meet to betroth their children. For example, in Quanzhou County, after both parties reach an agreement, the matchmaker will send wine, meat, clothing and materials to the woman on behalf of the man, and will accompany the woman's parents and uncle to the man's house on an agreed date, and the man will host a banquet. The young man holds a pot and pours wine, first to the woman's uncle and then to his own uncle, and then to the guest and then the host. The two parties agreed on a wedding date and the engagement was successful. Afterwards, the man and woman give the woman heavy gifts and betrothal money, the woman prepares the dowry, the man prepares furniture, and the wedding is held as scheduled. If the woman is urging marriage, she will make a pair of glutinous rice cakes (commonly known as "Reunion cakes") and send them to the man's house. The man will understand and treat her warmly and invite his neighbors to accompany him. Generally, the woman's suggestion to advance the wedding date is respected.

He Langge: Han marriage custom, popular in Xing'an County in northeastern Guangxi. After the church service and dinner, relatives and friends gathered around the groom in the main hall and sang congratulatory songs. Improvised congratulatory messages, including joking and humorous remarks. Relatives and friends sing a song, and the groom drinks a glass of wine. Singing until midnight, the bridegroom is sent into the bridal chamber. The female singer waits behind closed doors, while the man and woman sing "Opening the Door Song" due to each other, and then open the door after enjoying themselves. After entering the house, sing and make noise in the room, from "Congratulations to the groom on one glass of wine" to "Ten glasses of wine", and the groom drinks from 1 to 10 glasses in turn (if you are not strong enough to drink, the male singer can drink on his behalf). Then "Mating Wine" is sung, and the newlyweds drink together. Finally, the singer knocked on the door and sang "Knocking on the Door Song" to end the wedding.

Sitting in the Red Hall: A Han marriage custom popular in Quanzhou County in northeastern Guangxi. On the eve of their marriage, young men and women worship their ancestors in their own homes and receive admonitions from their elders. The bride wears a red pendant and is accompanied by her classmates. She sits in the hall and sings the "Crying Wedding Song" softly and softly, in memory of her parents and the love between sisters. The sisters told the bride to be filial to the elderly and to be harmonious to her brothers and sisters after she passed away, and praised the groom for his handsomeness and hard work. When the bride expressed her dissatisfaction, the sisters tried to comfort her. Singing late into the night, Yi Yiyi bid farewell and gave gifts. The groom was also accompanied by his brothers in the same class and sat in the main hall of his home, receiving lessons from his elders about being diligent, thrifty, managing the family, and how to behave in the world. After the teaching, the old man retired, the young men joked and chased the groom, and the fun ended late at night.

Key-asking: Han marriage custom is popular in Quanzhou County in northeastern Guangxi. The bride's wedding key is held by the "bridal groom" appointed by her younger siblings or nephews. Before the ceremony, the groom sends a package to the groom to ask for the key so that he can open the box after the ceremony and display the rice, money and goods inside, symbolizing a bumper harvest and a wealthy family after the marriage. There were too few bridegrooms to accept the bridegroom, and the groom added many times. The groom accepts the package, and after the groom obtains the key, he happily pays homage to the bride.

House viewing: one of the Han marriage customs and an important procedure in rural marriage negotiations. Also known as housekeeping and housekeeping. Popular in most counties and townships in Guangxi. At that time, the woman and two girls called "accompanying aunts", accompanied by more than 10 relatives and friends, will visit the men and women to check on their families (sometimes the woman herself will not go). The man hosted a banquet for the guests. The matchmaker introduces the parties to the marriage proposal. When the woman's relatives and friends ask for financial gifts on her behalf, the man usually agrees and gives "travel money" to the guests. The next day, both parties discussed the matter in detail through a matchmaker. In some places, the man who is planning to marry is allowed to enter the inner room of the man to rummage through his cabinets to find out the true situation, and then discuss the marriage through a matchmaker.

Black house robbery: Han marriage custom, popular in He County, Guidong. In Xiacheng Mountain District, after the bride cried for two days and two nights, she hid in a dark room with her female companions early in the morning on the wedding day. After the men's and women's wedding teams arrive, the bride's brother (or cousin) and the powerful young man break in through the door. The female companion threw sand and waved bamboo branches to resist. The snatcher tried to drag the female companions out of the door to eliminate interference. If the two snatchers are defeated, the number of people will increase to 4 or even 10, until the bride is forced to go out. Then the two (or four) women in the groom's wedding team take turns carrying the bride to the groom's house. During the competition for bride-grabbing, men wiped pots and smoke on women while women tore off men's clothes, turning the ancient tradition of bride-grabbing into a slapstick game between young men and women.

Poetry sayings: Han marriage customs, popular in most counties and villages in Guangxi. An important procedure in the wedding. The groom's uncle often lights a pair of wedding candles on the altar table and says congratulations and blessings.

For example, colorful sayings are commonly used in He County, Guidong: "The dragon shines alone, shining high in the palace, the husband and wife live together, and they are blessed with fortune and wealth." After the congratulatory speech, the bride and groom worshiped heaven, earth, ancestors, and got married.

Huimen: Old Han marriage customs. That is, on the third, sixth, seventh, ninth, or tenth day after the marriage or on the full moon, the son-in-law will return to his natal home with the bride, carrying gifts, and pay homage to the wife's parents and relatives. The ceremony of becoming a son-in-law is now complete. This custom originated in ancient times and is generally called "Guining", which means returning home to visit parents after marriage. In later generations, the names varied from place to place. In the Song Dynasty, it was called "Baimen"; in the Qing Dynasty, it was called "Shuanghuimen" in the north; "Huiqin" in the south; in some areas of Hebei, it was called "Huo Guye"; in Hangzhou, it was called "Hui Lang". In modern times, Tongbao is also known as the "Returning Gate of Three Dynasties" on the third day after marriage. This is the last ceremony of the marriage. It means that the daughter will not forget the gift of upbringing from her parents, and the son-in-law will thank his parents-in-law and the newlyweds for their love and beauty. Generally, the bride's family will hold a banquet to entertain the new son-in-law. . The newlyweds may return on the same day or stay for a few days. If they stay, they may not stay in the same room.