You are lonely, but you are not lonely.

Xiaoman, this article can be said to be a gift from menstruation. It is not easy to know that you are alone during the epidemic abroad, but you should know that you are not alone and your family will always be with you.

Under the current epidemic situation, I can understand your feelings. Although we can't be together, we can always keep in touch, care for each other and encourage each other on WeChat.

I believe you are the strongest and the best!

In fact, this article is my notes of online psychological counseling during the epidemic. Considering that it might be helpful to you, I'll give it to you like this.

Let me talk about how I spent these two months during the epidemic.

During the Spring Festival, in my hometown, I will go to the hospital twice a day to deliver meals to your grandmother as usual, so I should pay special attention to personal protection, and I will seriously implement the protective measures advocated by the government.

In addition to delivering meals, we should also try to reduce the number of other outings. Don't go out if you can't. For example, instead of going to the market to buy food every day, I will buy more every two days, and the hospitalization time will be shorter than usual.

Usually, due to work reasons, I don't spend much time with my family (including your mother) at home, and there are few opportunities for face-to-face communication. You can imagine how much care and love I can give each other. It is precisely because the family has spent so much time together during this period that I can take advantage of the opportunity to talk about their past affairs every day and let me know more about my family.

In addition to communicating with my family, I will also chat with my friends in some WeChat groups where everyone can chat. We seldom talk about how terrible the epidemic is, but generally talk about family members, greeting each other and encouraging each other. ?

I never like some unknown information on the Internet. I just know the epidemic data of the day through the daily update of the epidemic situation and news broadcast on Alipay.

I also arrange exercise time every day, because I think exercise can refresh me all day and is my happiest thing. Besides sports, I also listen to music, because I always like to use music to relieve myself, which is more useful during the epidemic.

Another thing I insist on every day is this series of psychology courses. Every day after dinner, I will wear headphones and walk back and forth on the balcony while listening. Although my mood has not been negatively affected by the epidemic, it is also an opportunity to learn.

After a month in Guangzhou, I still worked at home, but I gained a lot from my work. Because of work, first-line service is usually given priority, and paperwork is often done during breaks. I can also use this time to sort out the archive materials of the project and sort out the process of the project activities, and I can also use this time to learn new knowledge and skills and carry out on-site activities in the online parent class.

During the epidemic, I seriously implemented the government's prevention and control measures and changed the working environment and working methods. At the same time, I am not used to it, and I am not bored at home. Moreover, my diet and routine are relatively regular, and I can maintain my weight at home.

In short, as long as we take the epidemic seriously, strictly implement it in prevention and control, and make reasonable arrangements in our lives, the extraordinary period will soon pass.

Xiaoman, here are some of my study notes. Maybe my notes are not good. To tell the truth, my ability to take notes is super poor. You just need to read them.

When the epidemic comes, the source of our anxiety and fear

I. Sources

1, the epidemic has activated our stress disorder.

Stress trauma refers to the psychological trauma caused by unexpected events, which makes people worry that the epidemic will hurt themselves or people around them, and at the same time worry that things will happen to them, and even lead to retrogression.

We are afraid of our own collapse.

Self-existence in a broad sense is the existence of self-consciousness, and the coming of the epidemic makes people worry that they will disappear.

3. Our sense of low value

What inspires our sense of low value? The busy work at ordinary times suddenly stopped because of the influence of the epidemic, and we couldn't adapt at once, so we felt that we lost the value of existence.

4. Contact with reality

We seldom connect with reality, and fantasy comes from facts.

Second, the solution suggestion:

1, know the epidemic situation in detail through official channels, do personal protection, and have a good attitude.

2. Communicate with your family to express your psychological performance and opinions, communicate with friends through the Internet, talk about your current situation, recall the past and feel love.

We can use this special period to design our future goals. How can it be completed after the epidemic?

4. Take the initiative to share housework, study online, improve your ability and enhance your self-confidence.

? Self-mental health care during the epidemic period

First, the common psychological state during the epidemic.

There is a word in psychology called "stress response". When people encounter special environment or special things, they will have uncomfortable or violent reactions, such as insomnia, emotion, tension and fatigue. It is normal to have a stress reaction in this extraordinary period, so there is no need to panic too much. Generally speaking, it will fade naturally after a period of time.

During the epidemic period, the common psychological states are mainly emotional, empty, lonely and confused.

You should manage your emotions well during this time. The main reason for these emotions is rumors, so try to keep a distance from people who like rumors, because rumors are easy to panic. Choose official authoritative news to properly understand the epidemic situation, avoid rumors affecting your emotions, arrange the time to watch the news reasonably, and don't choose to watch the news one hour before going to bed, which will easily affect your sleep.

Second, how to do mental health care in daily life.

Pay attention to the laws of diet and rest, which is a specific condition for maintaining mental state. Eat and work at a fixed time every day to develop good living habits. Proper arrangement of exercise time every day, even if it is 10 minutes, will also have a certain effect on relaxing the mood.

Arrange the most suitable time every day to sit and chat with your family and share their stories. You can also use WeChat and other platforms to form a group with several close friends. Different people take turns hosting, sharing and completing this sentence every day. You can also invite others to post their own moderator suggestions, so that you can encourage each other, care for each other and support each other.

During the epidemic, deep communication within the family can enhance psychological immunity.

During the epidemic, each of us may have many physical and mental reactions to the epidemic. For example, loss of appetite, muscle tension, including fidgeting, frequent urination, sometimes paying too much attention to epidemic information, taking temperature repeatedly, easily losing his temper, unwilling to talk to people, and inattention. Sometimes, when people discuss epidemic information, they will have some radical reactions, feel a little uncomfortable, and suspect that they are sick and infected.

Because we are currently in a state of self-isolation, perhaps this lifestyle change will affect many of our lifestyles. For example, the pace of life is disrupted and there is a sense of irritability. Too close contact with family members causes suffocation. Because I can't go out to work and stay with my family 24 hours a day, I may feel that I don't have my own space. Also, because family members have some emotional problems due to the epidemic, they have some abnormal behavioral reactions, causing their own discomfort.

You can't go out during the epidemic. In a closed space, I feel a kind of oppression, I can't work, and I have a kind of worry about the future, such as my income, mortgage and so on.

Because our body and mind are closely related, paying too much attention to the epidemic will cause our emotional stress, affect our normal life and affect our physical immunity. If you are in this state of tension all the time, your body's immunity will deteriorate.

If the body's immunity collapses, it is easy to be infected, and your original disease will be more serious. These negative effects on the body and life will in turn affect our psychology and form a negative cycle. Therefore, don't let family members become an amplifier of our bad emotions, but let family members become our most important supporting force during the epidemic.

If you want to enhance your family's immunity through deep communication. First of all, we must understand the difference between men and women. Men have to say 8,000 words a day, and women have more than 20,000 words, which will lead men to finish or not want to say, but women still have a lot to say. This is a contradiction.

Women talk more about emotions, men tend to think and he talks more about solutions. Women's thinking jumps a lot, and men are more logical, which will lead women to say something and want their support, but men are thinking about how to solve it. Unexpectedly, then I ran to another topic, so many contradictory problems arose.

For the preparation of communication, there are the following preparations:

Learn to accept. Accept all the opinions and emotions of the other party, don't blame the other party, and don't settle accounts after the autumn. When there are contradictions in the future, don't blame each other. Listen with curiosity, as if listening to a stranger telling a story.

When you listen, you can think like this: "Why does he have such an idea? If it were me, what would I be like after all this? What does the other person care about when he says this? "

There are several kinds of communication topics: between husband and wife, between children and between elders.

The communication between husband and wife, we are in a family, what need to talk about? For example, "worrying about the epidemic makes you feel very uneasy." "I am worried that my income will be affected and there will be mortgages." "I feel a lot of pressure without my own career." Wait a minute.

The listening party should learn to respond to each other's feelings. Never say, "Don't think about these useless things, just let nature take its course."

To express the other person's emotions well, we should say, "This is really a problem. I feel something is wrong with you recently. You eat very little and always sigh. What do you do with these hearts? " After you finish, you can give the other person an intimate gesture, and then wait for him to continue, or say, "Of course, let's find a way together."

For example, to communicate with children, you can talk: "How do you feel these days?" "I have been playing games and sleeping at home these days. Do you think this is the life you have been looking forward to before? " "What do you think of this life?" "What do you think of your life with your classmates and teachers now?" "If the epidemic is over, what do you want to do most?"

When you communicate with your elders, you can ask them, "Have you ever experienced such a thing before?" "Some what things? How is it different from this feeling? " "Every time I experience such a thing, what impact will it have on myself?" "When I was young, did I ever think about what my life would be like before?" "What do you think of life now?" In addition, we can also talk about some similar topics.

The family can sit together and talk about what they always wanted to do before, but there is no chance. Now that everyone has time, what do I want to do most? You can also learn to sing, learn musical instruments, practice calligraphy and so on. Then think about another question. What can I do for your wish?

Self-suggestion and physical and mental health regulation

The so-called psychological suggestion refers to the psychological reaction that people are unconsciously influenced by the wishes, beliefs, emotions, judgments and attitudes of the outside world or others. The outside world or others send us information in a very natural way, and we accept this information and react at the subconscious level.

When we turn on the TV or mobile phone every day, see all kinds of news about the recent epidemic, or talk about diseases with family and friends, we will inadvertently form some beliefs, such as: death and illness are close to me, I am likely to get sick, I can't cope with such a crisis, my life is about to get out of control, and so on. These beliefs make us emotional.

Feeling intense anxiety or panic, cleaning and protecting our actions, or losing interest in other activities, etc. It may even lead to some physical reactions, such as insomnia, dizziness and indigestion. Easy to get sick and so on.

Negative psychological suggestion will do great harm to our physical and mental health. So in the face of such a situation, we can make adjustments in the following ways.

On the one hand, by identifying the external sources of negative psychological hints, and then make corresponding adjustments. For example, avoid over-browsing the news about the epidemic, just pay attention to it properly, talk less about the disease with family and friends, and switch to more relaxed life events.

On the other hand, it is to replace the original negative beliefs with more positive self-suggestion. First of all, positive hints should be related to their own state. Instead of forcibly changing the objective facts. "I hope the crisis will disappear tomorrow" does not conform to the definition of positive suggestion. Then we can tell ourselves that even if the crisis still exists. Can also face it more calmly. Secondly, self-suggestion requires a positive statement. Because our subconscious doesn't accept negative instructions. Like when I'm anxious. Tell yourself that I can't worry so much anymore. Your anxiety may become more intense, but you can put it another way: "I will feel more and more calm."

When making self-suggestion, you can add some specific and clear goals according to your own needs. For example, I will do exercise for half an hour every day, which will make me feel more energetic. Or I need to talk to my good friend, which will make me more relaxed.

Try to choose to make self-suggestion in a state of physical and mental relaxation. For example: before going to bed, when I just got up. Before you start hinting, calm yourself down through deep breathing and meditation. After each time, you can forget them and go back to your real life. Positive self-suggestion will only act on our subconscious and become the driving force of our behavior after repeated, and then play a positive regulatory role in our physical and mental health.

? Psychological changes during the epidemic period

First, the process of psychological changes during the epidemic.

Think about it: What psychological reactions have you had since the outbreak? How does psychology change?

Stress reaction: refers to people's psychological activities under special circumstances.

Stress reaction has the following manifestations: nightmares, sleep problems; Lack of concentration; Distrust; Worried; Irritability; Headache; Tired; Nervous; Emotional confusion; Forgetfulness; depressed

Proper stress response is normal.

Record your state (write an emotional observation diary) and observe the duration of your stress response by observing the diary.

Second, be alert to mental trauma.

Looking back, compared with before, have the following changes taken place in recent life:

Sleep disorder; Can't sleep at night; Get up early in the morning; Have nightmares after falling asleep; No appetite; Can't eat; Nothing smells delicious; Some old headaches and toothaches suddenly reappear, which are more serious than before; Reading all kinds of information all the time, even actively collecting information, can't stop completely; Eat the same amount and lose weight; I lost a lot of hair; Especially angry, you will hate people who don't do well; Reply to the post will tremble with anger; When others are happy and relaxed, they will also feel angry and think that the other party is behind the times; I always worry that I am sick, and I always feel that I am responding to the symptoms of illness.

If similar changes have taken place in a short time, then you may have mental trauma (replacement trauma)

Mental trauma:

Usually, this happens to people close to disaster, such as medical staff and social workers.

But now information is spreading so fast that anyone who picks up a mobile phone will be surrounded by information, and there is an illusion of being there, so we are dragged into the situation and it is difficult to get out.

This is not a character defect. People with strong empathy are more likely to have other kinds of trauma.

Third, strengthen self-psychological health care and improve psychological immunity.

A common psychological state between epidemics.

1, mood, sadness, anger, fear, etc.

All kinds of news continue, the news of WeChat group is difficult to distinguish between true and false, and the rumors are inflammatory.

Watch the news reasonably and identify rumors.

Pay attention to rumors, discourage them in time when they are found, and stay away from people who like rumors.

Fix the time to watch the news every day and plan the time.

Don't watch the news 1 hour before going to bed.

(especially for partners with large emotional fluctuations)

2. Loneliness, emptiness and confusion

Soul torture: what day is it today?

Reason: doing nothing, irregular work and rest, and not knowing how to arrange time.

Coping style:

Get up and sleep at a fixed time, and eat at a fixed time.

* * * Enjoy family time

* * * Daily response time, family supervision/online punching.

3. The sense of value declines.

People are animals with a sense of existence in universities. For many office workers, what you feel now is actually like a woman in confinement and an old man on vacation.

When the busy life can't shine at once, sometimes the mood is not relaxed, but more intense anxiety and fear.

Create different values:

Generally, self-motivated people often have a sense of low value at this time.

A mature person can be relaxed and moderate.

The way to create value lies not only in work (accompanying family, reading, studying online, watching movies).

4. Establish a mutual aid group

Set up a support group, and work out the group rules together by text or video: no rumors, no news, just say your state this day, I hope other partners can give you some help, mutual understanding and support. Can this group also video at a fixed time (two hours a day/every other day)?

A group of 4-8 people

Take turns to be the protagonist: analyze your own state+your own expectations.

Listen, give some encouragement, care about it, and tell your story after listening, without evaluation or suggestion.

Fourth, look at the epidemic from another angle.

? "The day will drop to the people of Sri Lanka, and they will first suffer from their aspirations, work their bones and muscles, starve their bodies, empty their bodies, and mess with their lines. Therefore, their perseverance has benefited them a lot. "

The epidemic situation is difficult, which is a test and an opportunity for tempering.

What did the epidemic bring besides difficulties and inconveniences?

1. In the face of difficulties, people are growing and the country is growing. Because of the epidemic, we are United and care for each other.

2. In the face of illness, learn to fear, learn to cherish, and be afraid of getting sick-because you don't want to lose your health, your life, or your loved ones.

3. After the epidemic, re-examine and understand life.

? How to self-guide and relieve anxiety and stress?

I. Self-assessment:

1, have you felt some pressure recently?

2. Do you think your working condition is ok?

Do you have a good relationship with your family?

4. Are you in good health?

5. Are you fat or thin?

Second, the understanding of the crisis.

What is the psychological definition of crisis? Crisis refers to something in life, or an opportunity, which puts the parties in a dilemma. This dilemma, or the parties' life goals have encountered obstacles, which can not be solved and overcome with their existing resources and conventional coping styles, thus making the parties feel powerless. Lost control of life.

These stressful events are considered by the parties to meet his needs. Security and the meaning of life are a threat. He may be nervous about this state. Fear is healthy. A feeling of confusion and pain. It can be seen that his emotional, cognitive and behavioral dysfunction is serious. This kind of obstacle will bring the parties' demand for external resources,

This state usually needs the help of psychological professionals to solve. Generally speaking, there is no professional consultant around, so you should learn to rely on your own strength. To deal with the crisis

Third, we should be clear about what our goal is to deal with the crisis.

Our goal is to restore our psychological balance. And the initiative in work and life. You can understand the importance of this initiative for execution and action.

First of all, you can ask yourself a few questions and make a simple evaluation of your state.

1. Have your activities increased or decreased recently?

2. Haven't you had a good sleep recently? For example, you wake up several times in the middle of the night, or you become difficult to sleep.

3. Have you felt numb recently?

4. Are you irritable and depressed?

5. Will you be confused, unable to concentrate and hesitant?

6. Is there any physiological reaction, such as headache and stomachache, which is easy to be scared? Any symptoms of depression or anxiety?

7. Have you reduced your social activities? Social activities here refer to other social phenomena that are less likely to go out because of the epidemic. For example, those who used to love to send friends and love to send some dynamic messages to themselves, you rarely send them now; I used to send messages and interact with friends, but now I seldom send them. These are the social activities at this stage.

If you achieve the above items, it means that you are under great psychological pressure now. The more conscious mediation is needed. However, we need not worry too much. In fact, there are many ways to adjust stress and tragedy.

Fourth, the specific ways of personal psychological decompression.

This way is called self-suggestion. This method is actually that you can do it yourself. You may have heard of hypnosis.

One concept is pre-consciousness. People have several kinds of thinking, you can understand it this way. This kind of thinking is pre-conscious and subconscious. The subconscious can be understood as the consciousness that you are not aware of. Then hypnosis works through the subconscious.

In fact, hypnosis is also a kind of self-suggestion.

In our life, or in movies, if there is a person, she meets an obstacle that is difficult to cross, or a very high wall. This wall is not completely insurmountable, but it is very difficult. Then we need to make great efforts to cross the past. People usually throw away their clothes or hats on their heads. Why? Because our subconscious will think. If my own other things can pass, then I can pass. This is an instinct for people to hint at themselves, a more positive self-suggestion.

Five, how do we make artificial self-suggestion?

We can understand it as a kind of soliloquy. This kind of conversation can make people feel what they think of themselves and is the basis of action. And positive self-suggestion means thinking that you can succeed, make progress and get better and better.

It plays an important role in stimulating people's potential and vitality. But we should pay attention to our subconscious, which is more interesting. What is our subconscious? Whatever you tell him, he will believe it. So give your subconscious more positive hints. So what is the security of truth? I suggest that you follow the following principles when making this prompt:

1, our implied sentence, the simpler the better.

Don't talk for a long time, it's useless, it must be simple.

2. Hint is a reward.

You can understand it as a reward mechanism. You did it. I gave you a candy.

3, suggesting that now is not the future.

I must be a rich man in the future. There is a mistake here. What is that? He said I would, but not now. What's the other one? That is, if I do what I do. Yeah, we can't say if. If it doesn't work, if it's not a positive word, it won't work either.

Our hints should be more specific.

How specific should it be? For example, if you have a number, you must give yourself a specific number. If you give yourself an ambiguous number, then our hint may not be done well.

We must achieve our goal through our own efforts.

If we say: I am 1.7 meters now, I hope that through my own efforts, I will grow to 1.8 meters in ten years. This is impossible, even if you can't achieve your goal through your own efforts, so this hint is unacceptable and unreliable.

For example, after work at 8 o'clock every night, I will do 20 sit-ups, which will make me feel energetic and energetic. This is a good hint. Is he clear about his time? 20 sit-ups are also very specific, specific to numbers, what actions do you have? Then it will make me feel energetic and energetic. This is the principle of self-suggestion, which means that this suggestion can be rewarded. Because I will get the reward of being energetic. Then you should be in your mind. When you say this hint to your brain, you should also read it clearly. Become the ideal person.

6. Psychological hints in self-suggestion

If you have a good hint. So what do we need to do next? Is repetition. Repeat what? How to repeat? Simply put, we do it every day, many times every day, and this hint constitutes the memory of a new body. This is an automatic response. Our brains actually work in two ways, which is an automatic way. Then in this way, we can better adapt to the pressure environment. Cultivate new behaviors and habits to cope with stressful situations.

7. Action method in self-suggestion.

Method 1: One simple way to improve stress through action is that when you feel tired, I think you may need to rest for 20 minutes. Because in fact, when you feel tired, your work efficiency has become low. No matter how attractive your work is, or what you are busy with, after you have a rest, you can find that your sensitivity will become higher, your work efficiency will become higher, and you will feel more energetic. Generally speaking, I would suggest that we get up and have a rest in eight hours.

Method 2: Just be in a daze. Allow yourself to be in a daze Many people don't allow themselves to be in a daze and think they are wasting their time. In fact, when you are in a daze, your attention and thoughts will be more concentrated. Allowing ourselves to be in a daze for three or five minutes can improve our mood and reduce our stress.

Method 3: Drink as little cold water and herbal tea as possible. We can have a cup of hot tea. After you drink hot water, your brain will accelerate, which is about 14%. It's very important to keep your mind sharp.

So we keep a good attitude. It is very necessary to think quickly and concentrate.

Method 4: Find time to read some books. Reading books is a very good way to cope with and relieve stress, because when I read books, I learn knowledge. Reading is a very good way to relieve our anxiety. This can improve our own ability in work and life, and will increase our sense of self-efficacy.

Method 5: We can listen to music when we are alone. We try to choose the gentle one. Listening to slow music and light music can effectively make us fondle admiringly. Let go of yourself and slow down your pace. In this way, you can achieve a synchronization similar to your brain and this music rhythm.

Method 6: Prove your existence through social support system. You can find some support and help from colleagues, friends and family. Listen to them talk about your memories and trends. This is very important. Because if we want to survive in this society, we must rely on a very important thing, a social support system. When we are under pressure, when I find that I can't solve it, in fact, we need to seek the support of this society.

Memories and sharing are some ways to prove our existence. This way is to prove our existence through the social support system, and it can also alleviate our inner anxiety and pressure.