Super funny sentence type sentence ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

1. I like to give my life to fate: I will flip a coin when I wake up in the morning and go back to sleep with my head up; If my back is up, I will lie in bed and watch TV. If the coin stands up after landing, I will get up and tidy up the house. 2. A stuttering invigilator found a student peeking. He shouted angrily, "You, you, you, you, how dare you cheat? Get up! " Five students stood up. 3. The tragedy of life lies in: I worked hard to have a good dream with fragrant contents all night, but I can't remember it when I woke up the next morning! 4. There are two kinds of men, one is lascivious and the other is very lascivious; There are two kinds of women, one is pure in disguise and the other is impure in disguise. 5. Living alone, people can only waste; Wives and concubines in groups make people know how to be frugal. But now, I expect frugality in waste all day. 6. Blind date is' distribution', love is called' direct selling', and throwing hydrangeas to attract relatives is' bidding'. 7. The unfairness of this world lies in: God said: I want light! -So one day. The beauty said: I want a diamond ring! So she bought a diamond ring and the rich man said, I want a woman! -So he has a woman. I said: I want to take a shower! -Actually, the water was cut off! 8. Three small animals are chatting in the forest. Piglet said: the nickname of efficacy is popular now, so you can call me pig in the future. Rabbit: ok, I'll call it rabbit. Chicken face is unhappy: I have work to do, so I have to go first. 9. Someone met a friend in the street. When he first asked about his friend's wife, he suddenly remembered that she had passed away, so he changed his tune: "Is she still in the original cemetery?" 10. The cat greets the cow. The cow teased the cat and said, You have a beard so young! The cat was very angry and said, why don't you wear a bra when you are so old? 1 1. Look at beautiful women in the street. If you look up, you appreciate them. If you look down, you are hooligans. 12. If you need suggestions or opinions, we will provide them for free; If you need an accurate answer, please pay extra. 13. If marriage is the grave of love, then the annual wedding anniversary celebration is to sweep the grave. If marriage is the grave of love, then the annual wedding anniversary celebration is to sweep the grave. 15. The female bird burst into tears, and the male bird was furious and said, How many times have I told you that this ring was worn by the Bird Research Station, not a wedding ring! I'm not married! 16. The connotative beauty that men say refers to the inside of the bra, not the heart. 17. Teacher, just follow the old lady! After a long time ... teacher, please give me a break! 18. A young lady walks at night, and there is a thief in Lu Yu: "Give me the money!" The young lady replied, "No, even if you force me, I won't give it!" " "The robber looked at the young lady carefully and said," You think it is beautiful! "19. Two drunks were driving at a gallop. A: "Be careful! There is a sharp turn ahead. "B:" What? Don't you drive? "20. After dinner, I smoked on the balcony and enjoyed it. Suddenly, I saw a flash of light in the night sky, and my heart was excited: a meteor! So I made a wish at once ... I had six or seven dreams. I opened my eyes, finished smoking and threw it out of the balcony. Suddenly I heard a girl's voice downstairs: "Wow! Meteor! Make a wish ... "2 1. What is cruelty? If it's a man, I'll break his three legs; If it is a male dog, I will break his five legs! 22. My dream life: I sleep until I wake up naturally and count my money until my hand cramps. My real life: I wake up naturally when I count money, and I sleep until my hands cramp ... 23. If my salary is dead, I have to go to work less if I want my salary to be worthy of going to work. 24. In love, someone is' from ruin'; In marriage, some people' see death as death'. 25. I have done many stupid things, but I don't care at all. Friends call it "confidence". 26. Don't call your children rabbits, because from a genetic point of view, it is not good for parents. 27. Men are lewd. A stronger one is called a pervert, a stronger one is called a pervert, and a stronger one is called a pervert. Especially strong, they become perverted perverts and are called human aesthetic artists. 28. The depreciation rate of women is amazing. It only takes one night to change from a' new' mother to an' old' woman. 29. But I read the so-called criteria for contemporary women to choose a spouse: having a car and a house, and both parents are dead. Dull. I wrote down my dream criteria for choosing a spouse: family wealth is over 100 million, beauty is the best in the world, virtuous, gentle and sexy, and my father-in-law has terminal cancer ... 30. I know I am not a handsome guy, but someone once said that my left nostril is idolized when watching my full moon photo. 3 1. Foreigners who have learned some Mandarin. Say hello to the secretary in the morning. "How are you?" The young lady stared at him. He paused and immediately said to her, "Hello, Mom! ""32. The father said to his daughter's boyfriend seriously, "You only take my daughter to the movies every day, can't you do something else?" The young man was surprised and happy: "You mean you can do other things?" I am forgetful, so my wife often tells me not to take an umbrella when I go out in rainy days, so now I have ten umbrellas at home. 34. Money treats me like dirt, and I treat money like dirt! It's all dirt. Who's afraid of who? 35. I am in a bad mood today. I only have four words to say. Including this sentence and the first two sentences. I finished ... 36. Someone asked me, are you handsome? I said I was not handsome. He hit me and told you to lie. 37. During a military parade, an army chief looked up and passed by and said, "Hello comrades", "Hello chief", "Comrades have worked hard", "Comrades are tanned" and "Chief is black". 38. Life depends on exercise, and life depends on exercise. The difference is-under the bed. 39. Wildcat: Sleep wherever you go. Wild dog: Eat whatever you catch. Savage: Love everyone you meet. 40. Men, the upper body is self-cultivation, and the lower body is essence; Women, the upper body is the bait, and the lower body is the trap. 4 1. Cruel people-nothing to find someone to kill. Romantic people-nothing to find a beautiful woman to sleep with. Rich people-nothing to buy a new car to drive. I have nothing to do but pick up a cigarette ... 42. I remember one day after graduation, my girlfriend sent me a message: "Let's break up!" " "Before I could feel sad, my girlfriend sent another message:" Sorry, I sent it wrong. "This is so sad ... 43. A couple went to register for marriage." Have you had a premarital examination? ""Yes, his house and car are gone. " "I mean to go to the hospital." The young woman blushed and whispered, "Yes, it's a boy. "44. If happiness is a cloud, if pain is like a star. At that time, my life in Wan Li was really cloudless and full of stars ... 45. Effect of contraception: If you don't succeed, you will become a' person'. 46. Those who work in public institutions are called "iron rice bowls" and those who work in private enterprises are called "no-wash tableware". 47. Dude, tell the truth. We really can't drink while driving. Hiccup ... think about it. If we hit a telephone pole, the wine will spill ... what a pity! 48. It is really unclear that girls buy a lot of beautiful clothes just to attract boys' attention, but what boys want to see is girls who don't wear clothes. 49. I signed up for a weight-loss training class yesterday, and they asked me to wear loose clothes when practicing. How dare you? If you have loose clothes, why do you want to sign up? 50. Only when there is a long queue can we truly feel that we are descendants of the dragon. 5 1. Girls care about the happiness of the second half of their lives, while boys care about the happiness of the second half ... 52. Xiaoming and Xiaohua went to the zoo to play. When they entered the door, Xiao Ming pointed to Xiaohua and said to the doorman, "Look! Come out later, don't say I stole your monkey! " 53. Why don't you be rational? My uncle is here. Why did you think of going to the zoo to see bears? 54. All the columns except one are well filled in. The column of "relationship" should be filled with "mother-in-law" instead of "nervous" 55. If your eyes blink, I will die. If your eyes blink again, I will come back to life. Your eyes keep blinking, so I will die! 56. You ask me, where is happiness? I tell you, if you stand on tiptoe, you will be closer to your heart, if you close your eyes, you will feel happy ... 57. The experience of rolling in officialdom-you know how to flatter yourself, and you will judge people after a long time. A friend of Three Gorges Online was quoted on the wine table. 58. Dad hit me twice today, the first time because he saw my two-point report card, and the second time because the score list was 59 when he was a child. Today, I have been in a bad mood. Last night's information let me know that the girl I secretly loved had fallen, and even told me 400 ... At that time, I was very sad and rummaged through my wallet: so I was even sadder, and I didn't even have the capital to fall with her once ... Monk: Except that thatched house, all the corners were toilets. 6 1. My father asked me what kind of life I wanted. I answered money and beauty, and my father punched me in the face; I answered career and love, and my father touched my head appreciatively. 62. If marriage is the grave of love, a model couple is at best a' model graveyard'. 63. In life, you can't hang yourself on a tree, but try to die several times on several surrounding trees. 64. Before eating peanuts, monkeys should put peanuts in their buttocks before taking them out. The administrator explained: Someone once fed it peaches, but the peach core could not be pulled out. The monkey is afraid. You must measure it before eating now. 65. On the road, driving is not difficult, but there are' new people'! People who respect others will always respect others. Today, when the world is getting worse, this virtue can only be seen in the banquet hall. 67. Steamed bread is everything. You can eat when you are hungry. If you want to eat cake, pat the steamed bread flat; Comb steamed bread if you want noodles. If you want to eat hamburgers, you should cut steamed buns and eat them with vegetables ... 68. Notice to robbers: Our staff only know Spanish, please wait patiently when robbing, and it is best to bring an interpreter, thank you! 69. Don't go out in rainy days. Although the rain is not poisonous, it is small to get wet and gonorrhea is big. 70. A beautiful woman is unlucky, and a yellow-faced woman is resigned to her fate. Don't forget to leave your footprints after reading it. Life is really boring. Last month, one of my buddies borrowed 4000 yuan from me and said that he was going to have plastic surgery. Now I don't know what he has become. 72. Being single is very painful. Being single for a long time is more painful. A few days ago, I saw a sow, and everyone thought it was beautiful ... 73. You were lying opposite the theater, occupying four seats. When someone called you up, you just, uh, didn't move the corner twice. The security guard came up and said, "Brother, it's not easy. Which way? " You gnashed your teeth and said, I fell down the aisle upstairs! 74. A farmer's daughter was so ugly that he had to make her work as a scarecrow in a cornfield to intimidate crows. As a result, not only did she scare away the crows, but even three crows sent some corn back in fear. I hope you are happy. Thank you for your adoption.