Lao Zhang drinks

Smoking, alcohol, and sex are the three major hobbies of vulgar men, and Lao Zhang is no exception.

On a certain day of the month 20 years ago, Lao Zhang made up his mind and quit smoking with a ‘click’. The only two major hobbies left are drinking and sex. People who are "wine and sex" live up to their name.

I remember that in 1979, 18-year-old Xiao Zhang and several comrades were sitting on the Country Bumpkin Mountain in Penglai, Shandong Province, thinking about the future: When we and the brothers are old, they can sit together and have a plate of peanuts. , a pot of white wine, that would be awesome. According to the knowledge and vision at the time, Lao Zhang's imagination was no more than this.

I was drinking with my comrades a few days ago. When I talked about my dream back then, I was a little dismissive. Peanuts are nothing. In addition to peanuts, there are also tofu mixed with green onions, pork skin jelly, and fried rice. Small fish. Forty years have passed in a flash, but Lao Zhang's abilities have not improved, and his age and drinking capacity have increased a lot. From the smug and ambitious young man to the idle old man with no ambition to make progress, the world has lost an ambitious young man and gained an empty meal bag.

Speaking of drinking, Lao Zhang’s first sip of wine was when his second grandfather dipped his chopsticks in white wine, pressed his neck and forced it into his mouth. It was so spicy that Lao Zhang bared his teeth and his eyes filled with tears, which made his family laugh. . Old Beijingers have a folk custom of dipping chopsticks in white wine and feeding it to little boys, so that the children can experience the taste of wine from an early age and grow up to be men who can drink.

It seems that drinking starts from childhood.

There is a tradition of dipping chopsticks in liquor. Over the decades, Lao Zhang has drank with countless people, met various characters, and experienced many dangers and alcohol tests. I saw the liquid in the bottle and all kinds of weird, funny, evil, and bad things that happened after drinking it.

In his early years, Lao Zhang drank friendship wine. His classmates, comrades, and colleagues were all acquaintances. In his own small circle, he would gather together for a drink when there was nothing to do. Although the income is not high, it is entirely self-financed and the meals are simple. But the young men sit together and talk about their ideals, the future, prospects, friendship, and girlfriends. People are simple, and the wine they drink is also very simple. Drinking wine at that time made you drunk, and it was also the wine of life, so sweet and beautiful.

A few years later, Lao Zhang was engaged in environmental protection inspection work. It was a job that was both fake and powerful. It was backed by the government's brand name. No matter which unit he went to inspect, whether it was a large unit, a small unit, an agency, an army, a school, there would be a feast. Hospitality. At first, Lao Zhang was very shy and asked: Do you want to drink? Answer: No, no, no! Sitting at the wine table, I dare not raise my eyes, dare not touch the wine glass, and just eat the dish in front of me. One time, Lao Zhang wanted to drink some soup but was too embarrassed to drink it directly. He pretended to serve soup for everyone. When he went to Lao Zhang's place, his mother said, the soup was gone. The shy days did not last long, and Lao Zhang showed his true colors. He knew people he didn't know, loved someone, drank heavily, talked loudly, and wanted to eat whatever dish he wanted, no matter how far or near he was, even if he stretched out his arms, he still had to put it in his mouth. inside. It's not easy to learn, but learning to be shameless is very fast. In those days, shameless wine was drunk every day.

Lao Zhang realized that it was not a good thing to live a lifetime relying on the power of a fox or a tiger. So, he took the initiative to ask Ying to go to distant Yunnan to do sales work. Sales are completely different from the past days of being a fox and a tiger, and even drinking has to be done in a hesitant manner. Of course, the advantage of drinking in a low manner is that you are no longer completely immersed in the taste of wine, but you can also taste the taste of people through the process of drinking. I drank with the officials and saw their faces after drinking. I drank with a businessman and saw the businessman's sincerity after drinking. Drink with a liar and let the liar tell the truth. Drinking with his opponent showed Lao Zhang's drinking capacity and bravery.

When it comes to bravery, as the saying goes, drinking makes people brave, but drinking can make people brave.

Once I was drinking with a client, and suddenly a young man holding a kitchen knife rushed into the restaurant. Suddenly, everyone was so frightened that they disappeared. Only Lao Zhang was still in the dark and didn't know what happened. When the young man with a kitchen knife saw that Lao Zhang was the only one in the restaurant, he rushed towards Lao Zhang with a kitchen knife. After drinking, Lao Zhang stood up and roared: What are you going to do? The young man with a chopper swung his knife towards Lao Zhang. Lao Zhang instinctively picked up the chair next to him and threw it at the chopper young man. The chopper young man dodged beautifully and the chair fell to the ground. It's over, run away.

At this time, a scene from the movie appeared. Lao Zhang deliberately knocked down the chairs while running, and the chopper young man chased and jumped to avoid the fallen tables and chairs. Lao Zhang ran to the cashier, picked up a can, turned around and hit the chopper youth hard on the head, and the chopper youth dodged beautifully again. However, this time, Lao Zhang's speed and strength were so fast and cruel that the chopper young man dodged his head but not his shoulder, and the can hit the chopper young man's collarbone hard. Just hearing a "bang", the kitchen knife fell to the ground, and the young man with the kitchen knife was also stunned. Lao Zhang was about to rush forward to carry out a second blow. In an instant, a group of people ran out from under the table and from behind the door and hugged Lao Zhang tightly. Soon, the family of the young man with a chopper arrived and explained repeatedly that he was a mental patient.

When drinking at a business meeting, there are a table full of unfamiliar faces, some you know, some you don’t know, some you like and some you don’t like. No matter what your mood is, you must be proactive and enthusiastic, find something to say when you have nothing to say, and pretend to understand when you don’t know. Pretending to be happy, being coquettish, with a face full of groveling and flattering, eating, drinking, getting drunk, singing, dancing and sleeping with, there is nothing like the style of a Beijing man anymore. No wonder the old Zhangs often laughed at themselves: Donating their livers, stomachs, kidneys, and lungs. Alas, I have traveled all over the country and tasted all the bitter, spicy, sour and sweet things outside. Everyone yearns for a happy life, but those who travel to the end of the world are suffering and difficult. During the days when I was traveling around, I ate all kinds of delicious food and drank all kinds of delicious food, including high-end and low-end game, exotic, fragrant, spicy, sweet, and sour. They were all nonsense and bitter. The most beautiful thing is to sit at home shirtless and cross-legged, with a mouthful of braised pork and a mouthful of Erguotou, a rat carrying a gun, and being our Beijing master.

Later, Lao Zhang also did a lot of cross-field and cross-industry work, involving culture, books, performances, film and television, psychology, community correction, mediation, legal consultation, etc., and got to know various people from different industries. people. No matter what industry, when people meet and chat with each other, they always end up drinking. Drink your own wine, your friends’ wine, and the public’s wine. No matter whose wine you drink, you still see the human nature of being drunk before and after drinking. Some people meet their close friends and dig into their hearts, some are pretentious and talk nonsense, some are sweet-talking and coveting your wallet, and some are full of lies and hypocrisy. After a drunken meal, Lao Zhang was deceived in a daze and ended up losing everything.

In the past, Lao Zhang had many bad habits when drinking, including swearing while drunk, singing in an opera while drunk, bragging while drunk, and even driving while drunk. Once I was drinking in a restaurant. It was very late, so I still exchanged glasses with my friends. The pretty boss lady is going home, leaving the skinny boss to accompany her. Lao Zhang took advantage of his drunkenness and slapped the table: No, the boss can leave, but the wife of the boss cannot. The boss saw that Lao Zhang was rough and immoral after drinking. After looking at each other in disbelief, the boss left by himself, leaving the boss behind.

Later, as Lao Zhang got older, his drinking ethics improved greatly. I am less and less interested in noisy and lively wine parties. I like to drink quietly with three or two friends, and I also like to drink my own wine alone. Even if you drink lively wine, drunkenness and explosion will not happen. Over the years, I have developed the habit of never drinking while driving, never drinking while working, never drinking if I am unhappy, never drinking if I feel uncomfortable, and never drinking if it doesn’t look pleasing to the eye. In addition, one of Lao Zhang's most appreciated qualities by drinking friends is that he never tries to persuade him to drink. Drink if you can, don't drink if you can't, it's up to you to drink more or less. Of course, if someone tries to persuade you to drink, Lao Zhang will first politely refuse, and if the polite refusal doesn't work, he will say no. If the explicit refusal doesn't work, Lao Zhang will use his trump card. Each of them will drink a bottle first, and then persuade him to drink.

Because he travels all over the country, and because of Lao Zhang’s vulgarity, he has no special requirements for the type of wine. He can drink both high-end and low-end wines, unlike some pretentious people who sneer at low-end wines and judge themselves by the quality of the wine. taste. Lao Zhang prefers Maotai-flavor liquor, and prefers liquors produced in Sichuan and Jiangsu. Sometimes, when I go to a new place, I also like to try the local wine, as I am more curious.

Although Lao Zhang can drink, he never gets tired of drinking. Drinking is not a required course for Lao Zhang, it is considered an elective course at most. Lao Zhang is also thinking about giving up drinking someday, so that his six roots will be pure, his four elements will be empty, he will have no desires or desires, and he will be completely blank. On that day, Lao Zhang definitely didn't retreat into Buddhism to chant sutras. He must have been lying in the ICU.