Should I raise children for my daughter?

My girlfriend gave birth to a big fat boy, but after I was happy, I couldn’t be happy anymore.

I told my daughter-in-law that my eldest grandson is also two years old and my daughter-in-law has given birth to a child. I want to take care of the child for my daughter-in-law. My daughter-in-law said to me: "Leave your grandson alone and go take care of it." What do people do with their grandson? What should we do if you take care of your grandson?"

What she said is not unreasonable. Even though her grandson is two years old, he still cannot live without others. My son and daughter-in-law work, so they all rely on me to take care of the grandson by myself. The old man stays at home and occasionally comes to help. If I leave, the young couple will really be unable to leave unless they hire someone.

I said why not invite my biological mother to come and take care of her at home? After all, the child is 2 years old, so it is easier to take care of her. The daughter-in-law said: "My mother won't come, and my sister-in-law won't help my mother take care of the children. She said, "Mom, you go take care of your grandson. When you get old in the future, do you expect your son to take care of you in old age, or do you expect your daughter to take care of you in old age? What if you do?" If your son takes care of you in old age, then focus on taking care of your grandson. If you expect your daughter to take care of you in old age, then go take care of your grandson.”

There is something in the daughter-in-law’s words. It seems that she is talking about her mother’s business, but she is actually telling me.

My palms and backs are full of flesh. I have loved my daughter as much as my son since I was a child. Now that my daughter is born, I can’t leave. My daughter's mother-in-law passed away a long time ago, so her husband can only help take care of the child. How can an old man take care of a child? My daughter's financial situation is average, so the confinement nanny she hired during her confinement period is about to expire. If you hire a nanny, I'm afraid you won't be able to hire one for less than 5,000 yuan a month. Our old couple also have limited pensions, and we usually subsidize our son and buy milk powder for our grandson, but our son and daughter-in-law never give us any money. In my son's house, I am a paid and free nanny. Of course my daughter-in-law doesn't want me to leave.

On one side, my daughter called me to urge me to go there, and on the other side, my daughter-in-law firmly disagreed. I'm in trouble, what should I do? If you feel sorry for your daughter, you have to offend your daughter-in-law. If you think about having your son and daughter-in-law take care of you when you get old, you can't afford to offend her. After all, in my opinion, you still need your son to provide for you in old age, and you can't ask your son-in-law to provide for you in old age. What's more, speaking of son-in-law, daughter-in-law has no obligation to support him. After all, for the sake of raising grandchildren, daughter-in-law also It’s not as if we are going to drive my husband and I away, but we really don’t like this idea here at our daughter’s home.

@人非草木为无狠说, My friend has been very anxious these past two days, just because her daughter gave birth and no one helped to take care of the child, and her daughter-in-law refused to let her go. I asked her whether she should give birth to her daughter. The daughter takes care of the child.

First, you can have a good discussion with your son and daughter-in-law. Your grandson is over 2 years old. You can hire a nanny to take care of your grandson. You can go to your daughter’s house to help your daughter take care of the baby. After all, the baby needs to be taken care of carefully. Put the immediate concerns first. The moment is over. When the grandson gets older, you can leave it to your daughter's father-in-law to take care of you. Then you can come back and continue to take care of the grandson. You have to pick up and drop off the child when he goes to kindergarten, and you can't live without someone.

The couple can make up for the money they spend on hiring a nanny. Don't worry about who you can hire as a nanny. Even if you ask your in-laws to take care of the child, your in-laws will take care of the child and make money, so it's easy to explain.

Second, if your daughter-in-law is not willing, then you can only give the money to your daughter as a subsidy, help your daughter hire a nanny, and tell your daughter-in-law that you will not have any money to buy milk powder for your grandson, and let your daughter-in-law make her own choice. .

Nowadays, raising children has become the responsibility of grandparents. Sons and daughters-in-law are only responsible for giving birth, and grandparents are the main force in raising children. You see, most of the people picking up children at the entrance of kindergarten are grandparents.

As for the issue of elderly care, both sons and daughters actually have the obligation to support the elderly. This does not mean that daughters have no obligation to support, so it is normal to help their daughters.

Everyone thinks, should we help our daughter raise her grandson?