My friend’s mother passed away, and my six-year-old daughter didn’t quite understand how to talk to her children about death.

For infants and young children (0-3 years old), the best way is to tell them "This person is missing", because it is difficult for children of this age to understand what death is. You can use metaphors to tell your children that many, many things happened, and some people "disappeared" in these things, just like the little dog or rabbit raised at home. One day it disappeared and never came back home. Come, I won’t see you again.

For kindergarten children (4-6 years old), parents can say: "This person is broken and cannot recover." For example, parents can tell their children based on their children's development that an earthquake knocked down the house. The house was very heavy and the person was so heavy that he couldn't move. Then he became seriously ill and couldn't be saved in the end. This is different from what happened at home. The same goes for toys, lights, washing machines, etc. that are broken and cannot be repaired.

For primary school students (7-13 years old), some specific concepts of death can be taught. Because children of this age have some concepts, parents can tell them, "This person is dead, his life is gone, his heart is no longer beating, and he is no longer breathing."

For middle school students ( Children in the age group of 14-18 years old already understand what death is.

In addition to providing children with correct death education, it is important not to let children always be exposed to information about disasters and injuries. At home, it is best for parents to let the family and children have their own lives. If they are always in the sad mood of disaster and death all day long, it will have an impact on both adults and children, especially the children who will feel insecure. . The loss of security has a greater impact on children

How to explain the topic of death to children

Perhaps one day, the child suddenly asks what death is and how to explain it to him? To say that death means sleeping forever, or going to a place far, far away, but you can't go there yet... Our cultural atmosphere often makes us choose to avoid or deny this problem, which makes it difficult for children to have an understanding of death in the future. Correct understanding. It requires your wisdom to interpret "death" appropriately based on your child's characteristics. Here are some tips from several parents and experts that may help.

Death of a relative

“My mother passed away. I couldn’t control my sadness, and I didn’t know how to tell my child about it, nor how to comfort her.” Yanyan’s mother

Mom A: My suggestion is that if the mother herself is in grief, she should tell her child truthfully, for example, "Mom can't talk about it now, let's talk about it when I can." Don’t try to look strong. When you feel it is appropriate, you can talk about your mood with your child, and let your child talk to you about his or her own feelings.

Expert comments: It is very important to let children know the real situation. However, it should be noted that the child should know that the parents cannot talk, not because of the child's fault, but because the parents are sad for the death of their loved one. It is best to let an emotionally stable relative help comfort the child. Wait until your mood stabilizes before taking care of and comforting your child.

Pet dies

"That day, my cat died. My son came to me and asked me: What happened to it? Where did it go after it died? It was obvious that he was very sad. What can I do to help him? "Jiaxu's mother

Mom B: The best way is to answer his questions simply and clearly. For example, you can say, "Dead means that the body stops moving, cannot feel hungry or cold, and cannot breathe or eat." There is no need to explain too much. In addition, you can help the children hold a funeral for the kitten. Use this opportunity to teach the children that death is a part of life.

Expert comments: Simple and clear explanations are necessary, but it is more important to take into account the children's inner feelings. A funeral is a good idea to give your children a chance to express their "grief." You can also listen patiently and carefully to him talking about his feelings for the kitten, his longing for the kitten, etc. When children do this, they will sow beautiful seeds in their lives.

Reports involving death

“I was watching the news with my child and saw a report involving death. The child was very confused and asked me, Mom, will you die too? I don’t Know how to answer.

"Xiao Fei's mother

Mother C: My daughter also asked me a similar question. I said, "Yes, everyone will die, and so will my mother, but that was a long time later. You are taller than mom! We have been together for such a long time. Think about it, what should we do? "Soon, her attention shifted and her mood improved.

Expert comment: This mother told her child that "everyone will die, including mothers." The child will know that death is As part of life, you will value life more and know how to do meaningful things in your lifetime. It is very important to determine what the child wants to know and end the conversation as long as the child wants to know.

Expert opinion

If we believe that children are more vulnerable than adults, we will naturally try to cover their eyes, cover their ears, and downplay their inner feelings.

< p>A Zen master once used the story of a cloud to illustrate the interdependence of life and death. When the cloud disappears in the sky, you can say that it is dead. However, from another perspective, the cloud is not really dead. Evaporates, turns into rain, flows into rivers, lakes and seas, and nourishes all things. The same is true for life. There is such a view on life: our ancestors are not really dead, and their blood is flowing in our bodies every moment. Storing their cells and carrying their spirits, we are the continuation of their lives. Death is not the disappearance of life, but the transformation of life. If we can talk about death honestly through examples in life, then we will be aware of it. , death can teach us how to live.