A mother scolds her daughter all day, like an animal, paralyzed. How would you feel if it were you?

I am a senior three this year, and I can't study well in private high schools. Because of this, I was scolded for three years, calling me a debt collector, calling me a debt collector, driving me to death, getting used to it, saying that I couldn't get into college and regretted being sent to high school. In the past three years, I was scolded and beaten by my parents because I learned my specialty. Moreover, people near my home like to talk about others, and I am also one of the objects of discussion because of outsiders. Then I got a serious anxiety disorder. Every time I leave home, people talk about me behind my back. I am very tired. I don't like going home. I don't feel warm in this house. My mother told me that I wasted money because of hemangioma. Anyway, I really want to die, because there is nothing left for me in this world except my best friend who cares about me.