Is there any way to teach teenagers in a rebellious period?

Rebellious psychology refers to a psychological state in which people take opposite attitudes and words and deeds to each other's demands in order to maintain their self-esteem. Rebellious psychology is a kind of psychological state that often appears in the process of teenagers' growth, and it is a prominent psychological feature of teenagers of this age. Because teenagers are in a psychological "transition period", their sense of independence and self-awareness is increasing day by day, and they are eager to get rid of the guardianship of adults. They object to adults treating themselves as "children" and pretending to be adults. In order to show that they are "different", they tend to be critical of everything. It is precisely because they feel or worry that the outside world ignores their independent existence that they have a rebellious mentality, thus using various means and methods to establish the equal status of "self" and the outside world. Although rebellious psychology is not unhealthy psychology, it is abnormal psychology when it reacts strongly. Although it is different from abnormal psychology, it has some characteristics of abnormal psychology. If it is not corrected in time, it will be very unfavorable to the growth of teenagers.

It is a psychological activity when the objective environment does not meet the needs of the subject, and it has strong resistance. Teenagers are in the stage of receiving family, school and social education. When they know things and look at problems, they often have cognitive biases and are prone to disagree with their parents' intentions. When the intentions are inconsistent, in order to maintain self-esteem, they will adopt the opposite attitude and words and deeds to the other party's requirements.

The performance of rebellious psychology

Don't like to do what others say; Think that most of the regulations are unreasonable and should be abolished; If his parents tell him the same thing over and over again, he will get bored; Praise those students who oppose the teacher; Think that there are loopholes in adults' words, and adults' criticism will often cause their disgust and anger; Once you decide to do something, you won't change your mind no matter how others discourage you; The more he is not allowed to do it, the more he has to do it.

The harm of rebellious psychology

If the psychology and behavior of the "rebellious period" are not correctly guided, it will lead to the morbid personality of teenagers, such as paranoia, indifference, unsociable, and opposition to society, which will make them shake their beliefs, disillusion their ideals, decline their will, be passive in work and study, and lead a depressed life. Further development may also lead to the transformation of criminal psychology and morbid psychology, thus going to extremes. This is reflected in Ms. Yang's children. According to Ms. Yang, she and her husband came home after a busy day, exhausted physically and mentally, and rarely communicated with their son. When they don't like some of her son's behaviors, they can't help scolding, which gradually escalates her son's confrontational mood, from reticence to obvious confrontation.

Teenagers in "rebellious period" usually have obvious "anti-control" and "confrontation" psychology towards educators. The more annoying teachers and parents are, the more disgusted they are, so that the rebellious character develops to the extreme. In recent years, there have been many incidents of teenagers killing their parents (such as the murder of Xu Li's mother), running away and committing suicide during the "reversal period", all of which show how painful the consequences will be if they are not properly guided in this particular period.

The causes of teenagers' rebellious psychology

There are many reasons for teenagers' rebellious mentality, among which inappropriate educational methods of parents are the main reason for students' rebellious mentality.

One: Traditional thoughts influence some parents. China's long-standing paternalism still exists among some parents. Parents lack democratic awareness of their children's education, and always think that their children are immature, so they must obey themselves absolutely and cannot have their own opinions, otherwise they will be "disobedient" and "antagonistic". Therefore, children will not or rarely regard their parents as confidants, fearing that they will be blamed by their parents after doing something wrong. After many middle school students think that they have done something wrong, what they dislike most is their parents' accusations, and the reason for their disgust is their parents' bullying and stubbornness.

Second, parents' mistakes in understanding lead to improper educational methods. Some parents lack common psychological knowledge, are eager to achieve success in their children's education, and adopt simple and rude methods, often ignoring their children's self-esteem and psychological endurance. Especially when their children make mistakes, instead of analyzing them and discussing remedies with them, they scold or even beat them, making them feel isolated and rebellious when they make mistakes. There is also the parents of Xiaojun mentioned earlier. They think that as long as they are subjectively good to their children, they can not pay attention to educational methods.

Third, parents and children lack two-way communication, resulting in ideological contradictions. With the growth of high school students, their sense of independence is getting stronger and stronger, which requires them to have their own way of doing things and do not want to be controlled too much. Some parents do everything for their children's protection, so that children's desire for independence and parents' improper kindness and care will lead to ideological conflicts and contradictions. Maybe some parents seldom talk to their children because of their busy work, and just make some strict rules to restrain their children's behavior. Therefore, as children, high school students do not have a harmonious and warm family environment, lack communication with their parents, and are prone to rebellious psychology and behavior.

The educational mode of school teachers is also one of the reasons that lead to students' rebellious psychology. Some teachers don't understand the psychological characteristics of high school students, condescending, guiding students to think and do what they want, and don't communicate with students at all, which is easy to cause students' rebellious psychology.

In addition, some improper rendering of mass media is also a factor leading to rebellious psychology. For example, some film and television works try their best to beautify the rebels' personal behavior, exaggerate the rebels' ability and advocate individualism. Many high school students appreciate the "rebellious heroes" described in TV and cartoons.

Rebellious psychology is not conducive to the formation of children's outlook on life and physical and mental health. It will lead to morbid personality such as paranoia, apathy and unsociable, which will make teenagers listless, passive in learning, will decline, belief will be shaken and disillusioned. The further development of rebellious psychology may also be transformed into morbid psychology or criminal psychology.

Psychological countermeasures of teenagers' rebellion

It is normal for teenagers to have rebellious psychology, so don't worry too much. If children in this period have resistance to any suggestions from their parents, the first thing to worry about is the communication style of their parents. Adolescence is the time to establish your own values. Parents should first understand that no value standard is absolutely correct, so they should respect their children's personal value orientation. If you feel wrong, there is no need to force them to instill it, because this period is no longer childhood, so children have a sense of worship for their parents. You should try your best to tell your child who holds what values, what environment these people are in and what you hold. As for what he should do, it is his own business.

If you show a diversified way of thinking, then the child can understand what attitude he should take to your suggestion. If you show an extreme way of thinking, then your subtext is: Son, you have no choice. The more unique answers, the less children will believe you. Parents themselves should know whether they are right or wrong, and they have no right to force their children.

In other aspects, he should also be allowed to choose his own principles, and his parents should tell him as much as possible who is doing it, not what he should do. He will weigh the pros and cons.

Rebellious psychology is not conducive to the formation of middle school students' outlook on life and physical and mental health. It will lead to morbid personality such as paranoia, apathy and unsociable, which will make teenagers listless, passive in learning, will decline, belief will be shaken and disillusioned. The further development of rebellious psychology may also be transformed into criminal psychology of morbid psychology. Therefore, when gradually eliminating rebellious psychology, the following countermeasures should be taken:

Observe the way children communicate with themselves. Many times, parents must go beyond their own roles and observe the problem of children's rebellion from the perspective of a third party. Perhaps, the problem is not necessarily the child. Parents generally think that they are right. They used to listen to their parents, so should their children. When a child is disobedient, in his eyes, he becomes rebellious. Therefore, as parents, sometimes we must be modest, give up persistent ideas, treat children from different angles and make limited accommodation.

Stay calm. Children are rebellious and adults will be dissatisfied. So they will fight for their rights and overwhelm him with their own voices. Anxious parents should remind themselves to stay calm and wait for their children to calm down before communicating. Children are rebellious, their words and deeds will be like a storm, and they don't know how to control themselves. But when adults are mature, they should know when to stay calm.

Ask for advice. When disciplining children, it is sometimes necessary to ask others' opinions, such as asking friends who have children of the same age around them how to deal with similar problems, or listening to lectures, seeking the help of psychological counselors, and broadening their thinking. The best way is to lose the help of a psychiatrist.

Open yourself and know your children. When parents see that their children's interests will affect their homework, they will generally ban them immediately. In fact, it is best to try to understand the situation. For example, accompany children to the video game center, discuss their idols with them and remind them what they should and should not learn. Only by entering the inner world of children can we get along more harmoniously. Get along well with parents, and children certainly don't need to rebel.

Change the way of education. Many times, the way of disciplining children has to change with time. For example, when I was a child, only my parents talked and my children listened; After entering middle school, you should try two-way communication and listen to your children's suggestions. Once you find that a method doesn't work, change it at any time and keep experimenting until you find an effective method.

Correctly treat children's rebellious psychology

Many people think that the older children are, the more disobedient they are. This is because with the accumulation of children's knowledge and rich life experience, they have an ignorant understanding of life. Due to the influence of environment and personal psychological factors, they can't be perfect all the time around them, so they will feel helpless and depressed, and then become irritable, sentimental, emotionally unstable, and even have conflicts with their teachers. In the face of such children, we should not criticize their various crimes, or even do some extreme acts against them, such as criticizing and mocking them in front of other children, especially inviting parents to criticize and educate them round after round, which will only make our children more rebellious and unruly, and even push them to an extreme road carelessly, which will not only cause permanent psychological harm to them, but also ruin their lives. In fact, children's rebellion is a stage feature of adolescence. It is not that children are not sensible or good at school. As long as we treat children's psychological changes in a special period correctly, communicate with them more, and tolerate and accommodate them with a rational attitude, you will find that they are just children who have done something wrong. There is nothing wrong with life in this world, so don't give your child an unforgivable crime.

Respect and trust children

As the saying goes, "sincerely open the stone." As long as we respect and trust children, go into their hearts and see their rebellious behavior, we believe that every child is a good child. Therefore, teachers should also do the following:

(1), students and teachers are completely equal in moral personality and legal personality, so teachers should also respect students' personality. No corporal punishment or corporal punishment in disguised form, no cynicism, no psychological violence against students, be a qualified teacher.

(2) Every student has his own personality, and there are no two identical children. Therefore, we can't train students to be exactly the same people, let alone force students to act according to our wishes and be a "puppet" without a definite view. We should respect students' individuality. Only in this way can we cultivate creative and practical talents.

(3) Suhomlinski believes that self-esteem is the pinnacle of human nature, and stimulating students' self-esteem is the first golden rule of education, and vividly points out that it should be treated like a trembling dew on a rose. These discussions give us great enlightenment: as long as teachers respect students, trust students, love students, and stimulate students' self-esteem, students will enhance their confidence, work hard in the direction of being a good student, and eventually become a good student.

Cultivate and mold a good character

There are many kinds of bad personality, and the formation of each personality is interrelated with other personality characteristics. Loneliness may be accompanied by narrowness, cowardice and inferiority, and the degree of self-improvement of personality marks a person's psychological maturity. Perfecting personality is a lifelong task, and the quality of life is ultimately measured by the degree of personality perfection. Therefore, adjusting, cultivating and shaping students' personality should take into account students' personality structure.

Because adolescent students are impulsive, lack of careful thinking, don't remember the consequences, and their mood and personality are also in an unstable stage, we should guide students to cultivate good personality and lead them on the right path of life.

(1), reading comprehension, and improving the direction of self-improvement.

British philosopher Bacon said: "Reading is to create a complete personality ... Reading is enough to make people happy, knowledgeable and talented ... Reading history makes people wise, reading poetry makes people witty, mathematics makes people think deeply, philosophy makes people profound, ethics makes people solemn, logic rhetoric makes people eloquent, and what they have learned is all adult products." Moreover, the introduction and evaluation of various characters in the book can be used as a ruler and mirror to be a man, providing us with various examples and illustrations, from which students can learn a lot about being a man and gradually form an ideal personality model, which is a pursuit of shaping their own personality and an ideal goal of self-improvement. With such a set of ideal goals, there is a clear direction for self-improvement.

(2) Strengthen the consciousness of self-cultivation.

Don't always rely on the supervision of others, and don't indulge yourself because others are not present.

(3) Practice and temper your character

Einstein said: "excellent personality and iron will are more important than wisdom and erudition ... intellectual achievement depends largely on the greatness of personality, which is often beyond people's usual understanding." It can be seen that personality has a great influence on us, so we should actively strive for various exercise opportunities, enrich our experiences and hone ourselves in practice, so as to climb the peak of ideal personality.

Teachers' Healthy Psychological Education —— Spiritual Food for Students' Life

English dramatist Shakespeare's play Everyone is Happy has such a passage:

"The whole world is a stage.

All men and women are actors.

They have their own import and export.

A person plays many roles in his life. "

Shakespeare's words can be said to be an image expression of the stage role. As a special profession, teachers are not only the carriers of human culture, the shapers of students' souls, but also the defenders of mental health. Teachers shoulder so many roles, each role is a mentor and friend in children's life, especially healthy psychological education, which is undoubtedly a bright light on children's life. Every step is drawn by a healthy and positive attitude, which is a precious wealth and spiritual food for children's life.

In the past education, we often ignored children's psychological needs and their own abilities in adolescence, restricted the development of children's interests in an undemocratic way, and expected too much of their academic performance. Strict school education and family education involve endless nagging, which leads to children's rebellion, willfulness, eccentricity, stubbornness and rudeness. In the face of rebellious children, we should also educate them with correct, calm and tolerant psychology, get along with them in an equal and democratic way, give them a time and outlet to get out of adolescence, and guide them home with our mental health education to prevent each other's hearts from going too far.