What did the crosstalk say to your complete lines?

Liu Yuntian: Ouch! Dear audience friends, you don't know that I have a buddy who is suffocating me. I have no education, I don't work hard, and I see that everyone is wrong. In fact, this is not right, it is on him. I complained for a long time just now, which was very annoying. Please let me say something about him. I finally dumped him. Hey, let me say goodbye to everyone. Why did you chase here again? !

Cao Yunjin: I'm talking to you. Why did you leave? Yo! How can there be so many people here! Happy new year! Happy new year! Cao Yunjin wishes you a happy New Year! (-eyah ...)

-Look at your smiling faces at Zimu Restaurant.

After the New Year, everyone is in high spirits.

-Why can't I be happy? -Yo! What's the matter with you)

-Not because of my unlucky wife (-Yo, what's wrong)

-Description of my wife, four-sentence comment (-amount)

-Wear famous brands with famous brands, sleep during the day and play at night (-ooh)

-When dating someone, the defendant told me to be together for a long time (-Yeah)

-I didn't find out until I got married (-mm-hmm)

-There is no moon, just in front of the flowers (-Oh. Oh! Ok ...)

-I don't think my love for you can impress my wife at all (-What's that? )

-Spend as much as you want! (-yo)

-one word is to buy! (-hey! )

-As long as she spends money, she will be happy (-I'm telling you, it's okay to spend some money on her wife)

-My wife doesn't spend money (-Oh)

-I love spending money too much (-Really)

-I watched others travel abroad the other day (-Tim)

-She's clamoring to go to Thailand. (-Mm-hmm)

I said ok, you get your passport. I didn't get it off after running several times (-yo)

-I said do something. I'd better go. When I arrived, I was anxious with the staff. I said big brother, huh? Look at our passports. Why haven't we got it yet? He said, where are you going? I said, look, Thailand. Young man, what you wrote here is the state of Qin (-ho! Boy)

Young man, we handle passports, not transit.

-Your picture is too small. (-ah)

-I said it's not small. (-ah)

-Not young. Look, you are still wearing a red scarf. (-Hey ... Hi! This is too small)

-I finally finished all the formalities (-Ah)

-Go to Thailand (-Let's go)

-Don't make me angry until the day I leave (-What's going on)

-When we got on the plane, we sat next to each other (-ooh? )

-What about after the level flight? Others will give away free drinks in the back (yes, everyone has this service).

-Here comes the stewardess (-Ah)

What would you like to drink, miss? All drinks are the same! (-yo)

I'm sorry, miss, but we have to take care of the passengers in the back. I can't do it without it! I won't let you go without it! We spent money! (-yo)

-Run over my leg if you dare! (-What is this behavior)

-What do you think this is? The whole plane looked at me and humiliated me. Big red face and low head can't even lift his head (-what a shame)

-Shame on me. People can't help but pour a dozen cups. She is very happy. Someone asked me, sir, what would you like to drink? Shame on me, I can't even lift my head. Just like her (-hey? A shameless look)

-Shame on me (-Who are these people? )

-Finally in Thailand (-Ah)

-Stay in a hotel (-Ah)

-Guess what the waiter said (-Ah)

Sir, we only have the sea view room left. I said the sea view room is the sea view room (-you have to live there, too)

-How much is it? -Mm-hmm

-Five thousand four hundred yuan (-Yeah)

-5,400! This is too expensive! Why is it so expensive! (-amount)

We are expensive for a reason. Guess what he said.

-We are expensive for a reason. We are a sea view room, so it's very expensive, because we can see the sea. -That makes sense.

-I said so (-mm)

-Can you give me a discount and I promise not to watch it? -hey.

Guess what?

They don't agree (nor do I).

-If you don't agree, you have to live (-Yes)

-I finally moved in

-It's broken (-What's wrong)

-Found a mouse in the room (-Yo)

-Call the front desk quickly (-Ask)

Hello? You are bad (-what's wrong)

-I forgot what the English mouse said (-Look at your brain)

-Fortunately, it's me (-M)

-I remember cartoons of cats and mice (-What the hell? )

-What do you care? This is very useful (-really)

-Do you know Tom and Jerry? Do you know Tom and Jerry? )

-Yes (-I know)

-Jerry's here! -Jerry's here! You little head! )

-With my three and a half sentences of English, I managed to play around Thailand (-Yes)

-Get back to China. I bought a bunch of cosmetics at the airport, and when I checked out, it was thousands. You said I could live, but I couldn't (-alas, no).

-Well, it doesn't matter if you spend some money (-Yes)

-Still complaining at home (-Really)

-All kinds of complaints (-Ah)

-men are afraid that they are worthless. Who are you talking about? Who are you talking about? Who is worthless? I was talking about you. Look at your unlucky appearance. If the child grows up to look like you, it's over (-yeah)

-If you're like me, you're finished. If you're not like me, you're finished, you know! (-Hey, what's this? )

-Why do you think I got married so early? -Then who do you blame?

-It's not my mother's fault (-Yo, what happened to the old lady? )

She was in a hurry to marry a daughter-in-law and have grandchildren, so I married such a unlucky wife.

-That's not true. People and their mothers have the deepest feelings (-Oh)

-Nothing can compare with feelings (-Really)

-for example (-Ang)

-You didn't come home after studying in a foreign university for four years, so the first person to shout when you came home was mom (-Really)

A: Of course. I'll learn for you.

-At the door. Mom, I'm home. Everyone has to shout like this (-it seems so)

-Nothing else. At home. Fourth Uncle (-Hey? )

-I'm back (-ouch)

-This is too much. That's (-that's ridiculous)

-It's not like that, and I'm telling you, people's feelings with their mothers can't compare with those of their fathers (indeed).

A: Of course. Ask mom in advance if you have anything (-really)

-Mom, I'm thirsty! Mom, I'm hungry! (-Yes)

-Mom, where are my clothes? You have to find mom first. I don't talk to dad much (-really)

-Tell Dad at most.-What?

-Dad, where's my mom?-Hey, I have to find my mom! )

-So I have the deepest feelings for my mother (-Tim)

-And the most important point (-Amount)

-I was naughty when I was a child (-yo)

-Don't worry your parents (-Really)

-Don't let them worry when they grow up (-Yes)

-I was naughty when I was a kid. Our family lives in a comprehensive building (100 mu).

-Everyone who goes to the toilet has to go to the public toilet (-Yes)

-In order to beautify the environment, the government built us a portable public toilet (-more sanitary).

-Hey, portable public toilets (-How nice)

One day, I was in the yard with some friends and pushed the portable toilet into the river (-Oh, push ... what children are these)

-I told my dad when I got home. My dad was in a hurry and wanted to hit me (-er)

-I said, why did you hit me? Washington cut down his tree, but his father didn't hit him. Why did you hit me? ! Nonsense, was Washington's father in the tree when he cut it down? (-oh! ! Boy! I said you gave it to the old man ... ouch! )

-I even pushed my dad into the river with the toilet (-This kid is so naughty)

-Don't let them worry when they grow up (-Only know change)

-I married such a wonderful woman to be filial to my parents (-Oh, don't say that)

-You don't know that my wife does nothing but watch TV at home every day (-likes this).

-I don't like watching any of her favorite programs (-Oh)

Do you know what I like to watch? -What do you like to watch?

-I like to see the real thing.-What is it?

-What is true (-Ang)

I like to watch street interviews and opinion polls in news broadcast. It's true (-Oh, I know. Is holding a microphone to interview people on the street)

-I've seen it! -I've seen it

A reporter was interviewing in the street with a microphone? . Aunt, do you think the wind is so strong that it has any influence on your life?

Aunt is from the northeast. Oh, my God! The wind is getting stronger and stronger! Didn't I go out to buy food with the old man ... where is my father? (-huh? )

-Look at the impact. The old man blew it away (-Okay, okay)

-Aunt, I have one more question. (-just asking)

Look at this festival. Many units spend a lot of money to set off fireworks. what do you think? What should I think? Look through the window! (-Hey, this thing doesn't hurt either)

-That's what I like to watch. It's true (-well, let's not talk about it)

-I don't like what she likes to see (-What does she like to see? )

-She likes watching advertisements. What do you think is worth seeing in this advertisement?

-Pull me to see it (-Ah)

-I watch too many advertisements (-Yo)

-I think I can be the creative director of an advertising company now (-You still have this ability)

Give me any product, and I can advertise (-blow)

-Old Beijing and Zhajiang Noodles (-What does it matter? )

-I can advertise.-Then tell us.

-Open your mouth (-Tell me)

-Zhajiang noodles, old Beijing, has been leading the country in sales for a hundred years in a row. It can sell more than 700 million bowls a year and can circle the earth three times in a row. An aunt bought ten bowls of slag noodles in one breath. When she left, the old man selling dregs stopped her. Hey, your Zhajiang Noodles! The aunt who bought the slag river replied with a smile. No, that's your scum (alas).

-old Beijing slag river surface, authentic slag river surface; Old Beijing Zhajiang noodles, the leading brand of Zhajiang noodles; Not all the slag river faces are called old Beijing slag river faces; Old Beijing, Zhajiang Noodles, catharsis (-alas, what a mess)

-Isn't it? What's going on here (-you're not so good here)

-Watch TV at home every day. If I say you don't watch TV all the time, do some exercise (that's good).

Look how fat you've become. Hey, why am I fat? You are not fat yet. Look what his wife said to her husband. Hey, go that way, you're holding my hair down. Look at what you say every day (-what you say)

-Hey, go that way, you're crushing my meat.

-When you lie in bed, the meat spreads out (-Okay, okay)

-Just like that carpet (-Oh, no)

-You should lose weight.-Yeah.

-It's good for you, too

How can you wear stockings in summer when your legs are so thick? Why can't I wear stockings? You see, girls wear stockings. Some look naughty, some look sexy, and some look cute. You put on stockings just to prove that they are really elastic (-alas, your mouth ...)

You have so much meat that your stockings can't stop you. If you pull it with a small blade, the meat will pop out (-hey! Too bad)

-You should exercise quickly. Hey, why don't I exercise? I walk five kilometers every day (a lot of exercise)

-What's the big deal?-Five kilometers is too much.

What five kilometers? She has a dog named five kilometers (dog name! )

Ouch! Married such a unlucky wife and quarreled at home every day. When you get to work, you have to suffer indignities when you go to work (-it's not easy)

-Ouch, my mood at work is heavier than going to the grave every day (-Alas, it's impossible)

-The unit leaders compete with me every day (-Ah)

I always sleep during meetings and don't speak actively. I said, manager Wang, I'm sorry. I will change it later. Don't sleep during the meeting, speak actively. Okay (-that's right)

-You can correct your mistake (-M)

He stood up at the meeting that day. (-m)

Attention, colleagues, our company now has a project that has exceeded the original budget (-Oh).

-Now let's ask your opinions and see if the investment needs to be doubled (-mm).

-Everyone, take turns to speak, one by one. Stand up one, not two. Stand up again, not double. It's my turn to rob the landlord! (-hi! )

-Cao Yunjin, get out. Hey, do you think there is anyone like him? We talked positively, and he was unhappy again (-I should fire you)

-Oh, I've offended the leader. Send some gifts quickly (-Oh, I'm sorry).

-Do what you want. Do you know (-mm)

He likes antique calligraphy and painting. Buy him a painting. This is a great word with four big characters on it: aboveboard (-what the hell)

-Whatever. Emperor Qianlong wrote it. Hurry to send him home. After he delivered it, he insisted that it was fake. How can this be fake? It's all branded with money (-what's written on it).

-It says: "aboveboard, the book of dragon-making is given to Mr. Wang (-alas, Mr. Wang ...)"

-How can it be fake? -It's fake! )

-A present. This relationship has not only not eased, but also deducted half a month's salary. My wife was still complaining about you when I came home. (-How to complain)

-You earn so little money, people deduct half. When will you change to a big house? I have to change houses. This house almost killed me (-Tim)

-I have run through countless buildings and seen countless faces. The sales girl scares you every day. Buy it quickly, sir. The house price will definitely go up (-ooh).

-Just listen to what she does.-What should I do?

-We need an expert's opinion (-Oh)

-To this end, I also signed up for an expert lecture (-Hey)

Listen to experts every day, and finally come to a conclusion after three hours (ouch)

-When is the best time to buy a house? )

-The year before last (-Ah, before ...)

-I needed to talk to you the year before last (-Isn't this nonsense? )

-Finally, the salesgirl was right (what did she say)

-Sir, hurry up and buy a house. The house price will definitely go up (-Oh, yes, that's the truth)

-When can I stop worrying about money? -I don't think so.

-In order to get rich, I hired a master to calculate a divination for me (-Oh, I can't believe it, it's called feudal superstition)

-What do you know? )

-The expert found the problem as soon as he calculated it (-Really)

-The teacher of the National People's Congress said that my life was bad and I was short of five elements (-Oh, five elements ... then you are too short! )

-I said that the master's things are not important, and I just want to know when I can get rich (-Mm-hmm)

-the master said let me go home and wait, and I will make a fortune in three days. As a result, I sent it (-really)

-When I got home, I heard that Uncle Wang next door bought a 60-inch LCD TV and delivered it the next day (-Oh)

-I secretly changed the house numbers of our two houses. So this TV won't be delivered to our house? I don't spend a penny, but I also give a TV for free (-I said that you will earn this money, and you are wicked! Let me talk about you.

-What do you care? At 4: 30 the next afternoon, the TV arrived (-yo).

-The delivery master brought the TV in and handed me a delivery note with four big characters written on it (please sign for it).

-Cash on delivery? (-Hey ... Stop! )