Did you do the right thing to brush your teeth with your children?

"If you don't brush your teeth properly, you will get tooth decay!" "Hey, mom will show you cartoons after brushing her teeth!" "At this age, you need me to brush my teeth. What are your hands for? "

Do you often brush your teeth like this with your children? Is it fun or painful to brush your teeth with your child? Did you do the right thing by brushing your teeth with the children? Look at the sharing of teacher Huang Jie, the professional partner of Perfect Garden and the consultant of humanistic family education. I believe you will gain something!

Author | Huang Jie

I am a doctor in Wenzhou, and I have a lovely daughter, Xinxin. Xinxin is 5 years old and goes to kindergarten middle class.

Children's education is at home. Two years ago, I began to systematically study the humanistic family education of the source of beauty, hoping to give my daughter the best growth soil and accompany her to grow up happily and healthily. Now, my parent-child relationship, husband-wife relationship and mother-in-law relationship have been greatly improved. Today, I want to talk to you about brushing your teeth with your children.

For me, brushing my teeth with my children is a protracted war.

In the past, Xinxin and I brushed our teeth like this:

In the morning, I get up first. Then I immediately asked my daughter, "Xinxin, shall we brush our teeth together?"

Xinxin: "Yes, I want to brush my teeth with you."

Me: "OK, I see. I'll wait for you to get up. It's half past six. If you haven't got up yet, I'll brush my teeth first, or you'll miss work. "

Xinxin is unhappy: "Then come and help me get dressed."

Me: "OK, I see. Let me help you get dressed, but your tone of voice sounds a little uncomfortable. You can talk to me. " I said, helping Xinxin put on clothes, pants and shoes.

Xinxin added, "Mom, take me to the bathroom to brush my teeth."

Me: "OK, I see."

I came to the bathroom with Xinxin in my arms and began to squeeze toothpaste. Yan Yan saw it and said angrily, "Why don't you help me squeeze toothpaste? Didn't you say you help me squeeze toothpaste every day? "

Me: "OK, I see. Squeezing toothpaste is your own business. I will ask you every time in the future. If you need help, I will help you again. "

Xinxin: "You will help me squeeze every day."

Me: "OK, I see."

When squeezing toothpaste, Xinxin said, "Mom, I have no strength to brush my teeth. Please help me. "

Me: "OK, I see. Mom will brush it for you. "

Then I brushed her teeth at will. This made her very unhappy, and Xinxin shouted, "Can it be heavier?"

Me: "I brush too hard, lest you hurt." Brush yourself and you will know your strength. "

Xinxin: "You brushed for a while, but you didn't brush much."

Me: "It's inconvenient for me to brush like this. Brush yourself, brush as you like. " If I were you, I would brush in my way, which is different from the way you want. "

During the whole process of brushing my teeth, I argued with Xinxin, and Xinxin became more and more emotional and angry.

Why is it so difficult to brush your teeth with your daughter? Immersed in Meizhiyuan for a long time, I found myself making three mistakes:

1. Self-centered, purposefully accompany my daughter to brush her teeth.

My daughter is five years old this year. I think a 5-year-old should brush her teeth by herself, so I always give her various hints.

As you can see, when I got up in the morning, I stared at the child and asked my daughter if she wanted to brush her teeth together. I seem to be asking my daughter's opinion. In fact, I want to urge my daughter to brush her teeth in this way. When my daughter asked me to brush her teeth, I deliberately pretended to brush her teeth casually, thinking that if I made her uncomfortable, she might dislike me brushing my teeth myself.

5-year-old children insist on brushing their teeth with their mothers, which is the process of children seeking intimacy. As a mother, my first reaction should of course be to satisfy my children happily.

But when I brush my teeth with my daughter with a purpose, I can't see her need for intimacy. I only saw that her daughter didn't do what I asked and didn't meet my expectations. Sometimes, I even threaten my daughter with words like "Mom can't keep up with work".

2. Communicate with your daughter in a controlled confrontational dialogue.

Cognition determines behavior. When I am self-centered and expect my children to do what I ask, I can't see my daughter's needs now, and my communication with her is always full of confrontation. The short brushing time is full of confrontational words, and my daughter will certainly become more and more angry.

3. The state of accompanying children is not right.

Parents' every move conveys rich information to their children. Smiling and peaceful state can make children feel the love of their parents best.

When I communicate with my daughter by urging and reminding, I am a little anxious and reluctant, and I am not in a state of smile and peace. Pass it on to the child, and the child receives that the mother doesn't love herself and doesn't want to have intimate interaction with herself. In the long run, children will become introverted or restless, and it is difficult to establish a trust relationship with others.

To achieve a peaceful smile, I need to constantly cultivate the ability to observe, listen and respond. When the child needs it, respond to the child with passion, and care for every state of the child willingly and infinitely.

After conscious introspection and constant adjustment, brushing my teeth every morning has become an exclusive intimate moment for my daughter and me. I am responsive, smile and accept every need of my daughter, and always respond to my daughter with a positive first emotion and cooperate with my children.

Now xinxin and I brush our teeth like this:

At 6: 00 am10, I got up. I gently touched Xinxin's head and stuck it to her side.

Xinxin: "Mom, you go away, it's uncomfortable to stick."

I smiled: "well, my dear baby, mom is up now, I'm going to boil water."

Xinxin: "Remember to wake me up later."

I smiled: "OK, I see."

I boiled water and went back to my bedroom, gently saying to Xinxin, "I'm back. I am going to brush my teeth now. "

Xinxin: "You help me with my clothes first."

Me: "OK, I see. I'll bring it to you right away. "

Xinxin: "You help me get dressed."

I responded happily: "Mm-hmm, okay. It is really a happy thing to help the baby get dressed. "

Xinxin: "Mom, remember to help me squeeze toothpaste."

Me: "OK, I'll squeeze toothpaste for you right away. I am so happy that someone brushes my teeth with me every day. I must be the happiest mother in the world. "

Xinxin said happily, "Mom, you take me to brush my teeth."

I am also very happy to hold Xinxin to the small stool in the bathroom.

Xinxin said, "Mom, I have no strength to brush my teeth."

Me: "Uh-huh, ok, mom knows."

Seeing that Xinxin didn't continue to let me brush my teeth, I went on to say, "I'm going to start brushing my teeth."

Xinxin also picked up the cup and began to brush her teeth.

A good day begins with a pleasant brushing.

When I began to get to know my children, put their interests first, and brush their teeth peacefully with a smile, my interaction with them was a supportive cooperative dialogue. Love between parents and children flows in the cooperative dialogue, and happy smiles overflow in the cooperative dialogue.

Although the matter of brushing teeth is small, it represents the quality of my family's educational life. I am very happy and have a bright smile in my self-growth.

Is it right to brush your teeth with the children?

How to face children with a smile and peace, how to put children's interests first, how to cooperate and talk with children, and how to accompany children with high quality?

"Learn Family Education in 300 Minutes" gives systematic answers and action guidance.

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Learn family education in 300 minutes

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300 minutes, learn about children and learn to accompany them! Walk into the child's heart together!

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A truth in family education: when parents are "weak", children are "strong".