Personal introduction of emotional experience (my marriage experience and two infidelities)

My hometown is Hebei, and I was born in a small mountain village in the middle of Hebei. I spent all my childhood in the countryside. I am the eldest daughter of my family, with a younger brother and a younger sister below. Because of the difficult family conditions and left-behind children, I have been relatively independent since I was a child. I worked hard at school, so I always got good grades. After graduating from college, I studied for a master's degree. After graduation, I went to Chengdu to work hard, and now I work in a research institute.

My husband is three years older than me, the eldest son of the family, and has a younger brother who is five years younger than him. His father has a tendency of male chauvinism and is extremely strong at home. His mother is very kind and has been wronged by his father. Stay in Chengdu after graduating from college. After working in the company for one year, he was admitted to the civil service. He works in a public institution without a position.

My husband and I were introduced. After I met him, I didn't have a good impression of him. His appearance is very ordinary, which is very different from my first love. He seldom talks at dinner, and is very polite to me. It's not funny at all. But he was very impressed with me, and we were not far apart. He always makes excuses to come to me. At first, I often avoided him deliberately, but later I got used to it when I came more and more. It is said that women are also afraid of men grinding, which is true. Under the constant entanglement of my husband, I gradually developed feelings for him, found that others were not bad, and took good care of me and took good care of me. I think it's good to have a husband who takes care of himself like this, so I decided to be together. Later, we started a sweet cohabitation mode and our feelings became deeper and deeper.

Their family likes me, too. His parents often ask him to take me home and make me something delicious, especially his mother, who often takes me to buy clothes. Although I spent a lot of money, I still felt very warm, and soon we got married smoothly.

Since ancient times, the time for pleasure has been very short. Shortly after we got married, my mother-in-law was hospitalized because of cerebral thrombosis. The news was a great blow to her husband, and he couldn't accept it. Her mother-in-law was still very young at that time. She feels that her mother-in-law always works hard and never enjoys happiness, so her husband can't get through this hurdle and always loses his temper inexplicably. I comforted him, and he said I didn't understand fucking affection. I didn't convince him. He said that I didn't have him in my heart at all and blamed me for not helping him.

Actually, I think I've done well enough. As a daughter-in-law, I took three months off at the first time and stayed at the bedside day and night to take care of my mother-in-law. I don't want to do much better than me. I feel very wronged after listening to my husband's words. Fortunately, the treatment was timely. After treatment, my mother-in-law recovered well, except for some inconvenience in her legs and feet.

After my mother-in-law recovered, I went back to work and started working again. Unexpectedly, a few months later, my mother-in-law relapsed. This time, her illness became worse. Although it was rescued, it was useless and finally died. After her mother-in-law died, her husband began to become decadent and grumpy. He always feels that no one in this world is sorry for him. Sometimes when the old people in the street chat together, they will burst into nameless fire and scold a few words inexplicably. It's even worse for me, blaming me for not taking care of my mother-in-law wholeheartedly. I also feel very wronged, and I am gradually dissatisfied with my husband's unwarranted accusations.

I was pregnant the year my mother-in-law died. With the birth of our daughter, our relationship has stabilized again, and I think we will gradually return to the previous intimate state. But instead, my father-in-law found a little widow to take home and a 3-year-old daughter. I always feel that my father-in-law is not very authentic and I don't want to talk to them. But my husband is very much in favor of his father's approach. Maybe my father-in-law was stronger at home before, and my husband also developed the habit of doing things. No matter what my father-in-law does, he won't object. He will take it for granted.

My husband is a filial man. He not only asked me to honor his father and his father's new woman, but also to take care of the children brought up by this woman. I have contradictions in my heart. Why should I take care of her children? I can't. He said that eldest sister-in-law is like a mother, and you have an obligation to take care of her. I had some opinions about his father and asked me to serve the mother and daughter. My heart is cold, and I really can't do these things. So, we had a big fight, and in the end, no one convinced anyone.

Later, his father took this woman back to his hometown. I never mentioned it again, and my relationship with them became cold. I haven't been back to my hometown for so many years. In addition, his brother bought a house. He gave his brother 200 thousand directly without even telling me. Although 200,000 won't affect our life, at least you have to let me know when I am air. I argued with him, and he said I had a lot of things to do, and he thought it was my fault. There are many things, big and small, which make me feel that in his eyes, only his parents and younger brother are his family. His daughter and I are nothing, just like outsiders, we can only serve them.

I don't feel safe at home, so I put more energy into my work and my status is rising. At present, I am the business backbone of the unit and the person in charge of the project. My income has also greatly improved, far exceeding my husband's. In the family, everything is normal except the feelings are weak and there is no husband and wife life. When I come back from a business trip, he will still pick me up by car and cook for me as usual when I get off work late. He will also take his daughter to and from school every day, and her daughter will tell me about her performance at school. I will also talk to him about work when I am in a good mood. On the whole, he is very kind. I basically don't have to ask about the big and small things at home and the daily expenses, and he will arrange them properly. Perhaps, our life, just like this, goes on flatly.

Before I met my husband, I had an emotional experience. It's one of my seniors. We are all in the student union. Because of more contact, we have a good impression on each other. We talked together for more than two years, ending with his graduation. Although a little sad, we broke up rationally. After all, we are not together, and no one can guarantee that we will not empathize in the future.

We haven't seen each other since we broke up. Until the summer of 15, he chose a new job and came to a city near us. As the distance drew closer, we gradually got in touch again. Just for more than a year, limited to telephone and WeChat. /kloc-In the autumn of 0/6, I went to his city on business and we met again. Perhaps it is because the relationship with my husband has become dull and depressed for a long time, just like a long-lost lover, we once again realized the sweetness of love. From then on, whenever we have time, we will find opportunities to meet. After more than a year, his wife finally found out, but there was no concrete evidence. He told his wife that I was his suitor at school, but he never promised me, so I wanted to pester him. So, in front of his wife, he scolded me, and things between us ended.

Last year, I went to a cooperative unit to help them deal with a technical matter. Specifically, my communication partner is a young engineer, who graduated from 985 university and is knowledgeable. He is five years younger than me. His mind is very delicate, and we cooperate well. It was solved smoothly in less than a month. During this time, he accompanied me all the way and took care of me. At the thank-you dinner when I came back, I felt a little relaxed because of the smooth end of my work. I drank too much wine and felt a little dizzy. When I returned to my room, he confessed to me that I was like one of his sisters. His sister was very kind to him since childhood, so when she saw me, she felt very close and made him want to be near me all the time. Actually, I admire him too. He is knowledgeable, young and energetic, and I am much younger after being infected. I really didn't feel anything in common with him, but I finally lost my mind under the influence of alcohol.

Last month, I wanted to cut off contact with him completely. He asked me if I could be my confidante. He said I was his sister, and I wanted to be a sincere bosom friend, the kind with no feelings between men and women. Finally, I refused. I really don't want to cause any trouble in my life. The past is just a little wave in plain life, and it is destined to be calm. Although my husband is not a good husband, he is a family-oriented man. Although he can't sing emotionally, he is undoubtedly qualified in life. I don't want to hurt him while enjoying his care. Living with him like this is not necessarily a blessing.