A loveless and asexual life after marriage

We often say that love and marriage are two different stages and states. No matter who you are, although love has always been vigorous, so has marriage. In real life, love is full of passion and marriage is full of dullness. Not because you don't have love, but because you don't want to be so dull. When we are in love, we often feel good about ourselves and always feel that there is something better ahead, which is a wrong message in itself. And when you enter the period when the marriage mode tends to be dull, you are not willing to be dull, and always want to find the passion you desire, that is, to add fuel to the fire. 1, there is no love between husband and wife and children. Life is like a TV play without rehearsal. Everyone longs for a happy marriage, but the greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment, and they will feel that the marriage in real life is not an ideal marriage. However, children are innocent, and children are the bond between husband and wife. In order to give your child a happy and complete family, you must sacrifice your own ideas. This is also the responsibility and obligation of parents. You should face the reality rationally. 2. Husband and wife have become like family. You don't think there is love between you. This is because there is a distance between you, and unconsciously, it has become as dull as family. Each of you has your own ideas in your heart, and you will keep your heart in your heart. This phenomenon is also an unavoidable problem between most couples. You should learn to adapt and accept. Don't always torture yourself, just look down on it. 3, marriage is not a game, always involuntarily marriage is like a besieged city, some people want to go in, some people want to come out, everyone is eager to live with the right person, is the ideal marriage, but fate likes people to joke, always let you regret for a lifetime. This requires you to have a strong heart. You should learn to adjust your inner thoughts, bury your inner feelings, and practice yourself as a person who has nothing to ask for, so that you will become leisurely. 4. Distract your thoughts and learn to find things by yourself. Life is just a few decades You should learn to find happiness by yourself. Life is not just love, but also poetry and distance. You can read more books, exercise more and do something you like in your spare time. Yan Ruyu is in the book. Reading more books will make you attractive, and exercising more will make you have a healthy body, which is also the greatest wealth. You have to know that only you are the most reliable, so you have to find yourself again and live what you like. In marriage, a man or a woman's attention is bound to shift. Can't be like love. Just being single-minded to you shows that he really loves you. This also reflects his responsibility and responsibility. He should feel very happy, but the form of love has changed and become more practical and concrete. From now on, we should also work hard, work hard and live hard for love, and at the same time, we should also start to love our other half more, with meticulous care and gentle care. I believe you can always experience more substantial and firm love. A loveless and asexual life after marriage 2 Here, I want to ask you to think about a problem first. What did marriage bring you? Some people will say that happiness is companionship and warmth, and most people will be silent. Marriage is like a stagnant pool, without waves, arguments and romance. This is the truest appearance of most people's marriage. The divorce rate has hit record highs and the marriage rate has hit record lows. In the statistics of 20 19, the number of divorced people accounts for about 50% of the number of married people. Until 2020, the number of registered marriages in China is 8131000000, which is nearly 5 million less than that in 20 19. More and more young people realize the cruelty or high cost of marriage prematurely and choose to live alone. Different from love, marriage is more realistic, more active, and trivial life fills two people's time. Crying children and unsatisfactory work make marriage a little more helpless. First, marriage is not love, love will lose to life. At the beginning of their marriage, their feelings were like Jack and Ruth in Titanic. After a long time, each other's shortcomings gradually emerged and contradictions intensified. After constant quarrels, they all chose silence, just like Jack and Ruth in Revolutionary Road. Love can't offset the trivial daily life of daily necessities. Sadly, countless people compare Revolutionary Road with Tannick, and they always make marriage bring people the truest feelings. These two films are about the same man and woman, one is about love and the other is about marriage. At the beginning of marriage, the woman and the man fell in love at first sight and were immortal couples admired by countless people. With the arrival of children and the difference of life, the two drifted apart, with no opposing parents and no urgent reality. What makes them overwhelmed is the most ordinary life. I believe that countless couples will feel that life is not "harmonious", and it is difficult for two people to put themselves in each other's shoes, because they have different thinking, different life schedules and different experiences. Unfortunately, love alone is not enough for the management of marriage. The management of marriage needs wisdom and the hearts of two people. Love lives in fantasy, and marriage should be based on reality. Unrealistic fantasies will eventually come to nothing. In fact, from disillusionment to acceptance of reality, time has stifled two people's love and desire for each other's skin, and they have become asexual and loveless, the simplest "shared roommates". Second, why are you still sticking to the broken marriage? For most couples whose feelings are broken, they may not choose divorce. For each other, the cost of divorce is too high, which will also damage each other's reputation to the outside world, so they live a "lonely life" under the same roof. Why insist on a meaningless marriage, a marriage without sex and love? There are still many people who choose to "linger on" in a sexless and loveless marriage, which is closely related to the marriage of China people and the personality of China people. 1, objective: Chinese marriage is not a marriage between people from two different countries. Chinese marriage often involves more complicated and diverse levels. Whether marriage or divorce affects not only the man and the woman in marriage, but also two families and their children. The marriage of China people is often the union of two families, which is prudent and blasphemous. Therefore, both parties who get married with the expectation of two families naturally don't want to bear many family pressures brought by divorce. Moreover, divorce is not a glorious act at present, which is closely related to the prejudice in the bones of Chinese people, and there are countless moral kidnappings in divorce. Especially the second-married women will be criticized in the marriage and love market. Marriage is not a simple combination and separation. The combination and separation of marriage will bear countless pressures, which is even greater for the woman. In marriage, women have to bear more complicated discrimination and prejudice than men, and most women who choose to divorce will not have a good impression. Family culture and marriage culture make countless people cautious when choosing marriage. If you become someone else's joke, it's hard to get rid of it. This is an optimistic reason why some people are unwilling to bear the pressure and risk of divorce unless they have to. 2. Subjectivity: forbearance and concession in China people's bones. If westerners are frank and decisive, then most orientals are hesitant, and it is difficult to change their personality in their bones, and their flamboyant personality is only a minority in China. In the cultural tradition of thousands of years, the education and culture we come into contact with all emphasize humility, forbearance, not being too extreme and self-centered, which are all related to the edification of collective consciousness. As mentioned earlier, in China's unique cultural environment, marriage is familial and holistic. As a social contract signed by both parties on the premise of equality and voluntariness, marriage has certain legal effect. Coupled with the forbearance in the bones, many people are unwilling to slap themselves, and it takes years or even decades to prove that their choices are wrong. Not only that, in addition to saving face and forbearing in personality, there is also the fetter of children. For most women, children are the only motivation to persist in a broken marriage and the only support to survive in a sexless and loveless marriage. Do asexual loveless marriages need to continue? Everyone has his own choice. If from their point of view, the torture brought by the breakdown of marriage is better than the regret and self-blame brought by leaving the children without a complete family and growing environment, then countless people will choose to continue the broken marriage for the sake of their children. In fact, whether it is to continue the broken marriage or to choose divorce decisively, there has never been a perfect option among these two options. From a different perspective, each option has something to give up. However, since we know that this road is impassable, why not stop the loss in time?