Common contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

First, the root cause of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law 1. Living habits are different. No matter how good the relationship is, two people cannot have the same living habits and values. Because of some trivial things in life, they will inevitably quarrel. However, there is an emotional foundation between men and women. Never experienced love, and then get married, there must be mutual understanding and tolerance. Unlike between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is no love and emotional support. The only similarity is that they love the same man. However, just because you love someone, although it is completely different, it is also like a rival in love. Because of different living habits, it is inevitable to force people to live together, resulting in contradictions. 2, the concept of parenting is different only because of different living habits, can not stand too much wind and waves, but also can live in peace. Especially after having children, people in different times have completely different ideas, and new ideas conflict with traditional ones, leading to more and more contradictions. The daughter-in-law can't accept her mother-in-law's idea, and the mother-in-law can't accept her daughter-in-law's idea, and the contradiction escalates. The definition of husband and son is in the eyes of mother-in-law. No matter how long a son is, he is just a child. He still needs to rely on her and do everything for him. In the eyes of a daughter-in-law, some things need to be shared by men or done together. The reality is that when a man helps, the mother-in-law will feel sorry for her son, so she will take everything away, only feeling that her daughter-in-law is getting lazy. Most people will definitely not let their elders do things for them, so the daughter-in-law will take things away and do it herself, so there will be differences, and there will be barriers when there is grievances. 4. Interference in living in China, no matter how old you are, you will never grow up in the eyes of your parents, so everything will be arranged, and you will never feel at ease without them. Since having a daughter-in-law, my son will definitely not ask his mother-in-law for advice on everything as before. Such a change must be uncomfortable. She will want to be recognized and think that she is still useful. At this time, she will interfere in their lives. But the mother-in-law may not know that such interference will lead to the unhappy marriage of her son and often lead to contradictions. Second, the most taboo thing for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along with 1. In fact, when a daughter-in-law gets along with her mother-in-law, it is inevitable that there will be a little quarrel. When there is an argument, smart women know that their relationship with their mother-in-law will get better and better, but stupid women don't understand this. Often as long as their mother-in-law says something about her, she will say something about her. Your relationship with your mother-in-law will only get worse. Even your husband will dislike you and think you are unreasonable and don't know how to respect your elders. 2. A woman who complains that her husband is smart will support him no matter what he does. Sometimes even if her husband fails, she will not criticize him excessively, but will only comfort him and encourage him. Only in this way can the marriage be happy, and the mother-in-law will naturally be very pleased to see her daughter-in-law so sensible. But stupid women can never do this. They just keep complaining to their husbands. They always complain that their husbands can't do this well and that is useless. Every mother-in-law must feel bad for her children. When your mother-in-law hears that you are always complaining about your son like this, she will definitely feel uncomfortable and will definitely not give you a good face. 3. Beat and scold the child in front of her mother-in-law. In fact, in many families, it may be their grandparents who hurt their children the most. For the older generation, grandchildren are their favorite, and grandparents are basically a state of doting on grandchildren. Even if the child makes a big mistake, the mother-in-law will not blame it. If a woman beats and scolds her children in front of her mother-in-law, her mother-in-law will definitely feel particularly heartache and resentment towards her wife. 4. Run away from home frequently. In fact, in many marriages, women just feel that they are not regarded as family members by this family, so they often quarrel with their mother-in-law. In fact, if your mother-in-law wants to treat herself as her own daughter, you should take the initiative to talk to them and talk to her mother-in-law more. Even if you are wronged sometimes, you should speak out, instead of running away from home at every turn. This will only make your mother-in-law feel that you are a homeless person and even have a lot for you. How to get along with your mother-in-law after a quarrel 1. It takes two hands to reflect on your mistakes. Since there has been a war, both sides have made mistakes. You need to reflect on your mistakes, whether you are too impulsive and irrational, or you have no solution to your mother-in-law. In this way, if we don't speculate, it will lead to contradictions. Finding the root of the problem makes it easy to solve the contradiction. 2. If you have to know how to make concessions and don't know manners, you will shout for attention or push your luck, which will make your mother-in-law feel chilling for you! If you don't want to expose your mother-in-law's quarrel, you might as well tell her mother-in-law: "Dear mother-in-law, actually I don't want to quarrel with you!" Tell your husband about the quarrel. When we quarrel with our mother-in-law and take the initiative to admit our mistakes, we can tell our husband about the quarrel and tell him that you have apologized. It should be noted here that what we told our husband was not how her mother-in-law was wrong, but the brief reason why we quarreled with her mother-in-law, and we were partly responsible, considering the basic situation that her husband and family had admitted the mistake. In this way, the husband gets information from us at the first time, which is less stressful than learning about the quarrel from his mother-in-law. At the same time, he will take care of you more because of your understanding and will protect you in future quarrels. 4, take the initiative to admit your mistakes as a younger generation, it is best to take the initiative to admit your mistakes and give the elders a step down. I believe that as long as the two sides solve it rationally, it will soon roll with the punches. 5, don't be unhappy, it is easy to cause misunderstanding. No matter how virtuous you are, no matter how sensible you are, if you face your mother-in-law all day, it is estimated that the dispute between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will start flying all over the sky in an hour. After the accidental conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they don't care, don't be overcast, and don't even care whether the other party wins or loses. Not only will they not let their mother-in-law retaliate, but they can also resolve a more intense war in time. Why not? 6. Play the coordinating role of children. When we quarrel with our mother-in-law, we can't tell our children that her mother-in-law is not good. On the contrary, it can bring children closer to their mother-in-law and give play to the coordinating role of children between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Elders generally love children very much. Mother-in-law will pay attention to her children when she sees her precious grandchildren happy with her. Gradually, I will forget the quarrel with my daughter-in-law, and even sometimes I will reflect on my mistakes when I see my daughter-in-law let her children get close to me. 7. When enough is enough, if you want to solve the contradiction, you must talk about things. Don't shake out all the old sesame seeds and rotten millet and say what you can't do. This will only make the contradiction bigger and bigger. Therefore, after the incident, we must not make trouble without reason, and enough is enough. This will not only save face for each other, but also make you less embarrassed. Common contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law II. Possible causes of quarrel between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law 1. My mother-in-law has no sense of boundaries. Why is there always no way to make up? Most mother-in-law thinks that she and her son are a family, and her daughter-in-law is an outsider. This is the starting point of their quarrel because they can't make up. Many mother-in-law likes to interfere in her son's affairs. When his daughter-in-law quarreled, she went up to help her son. My son and daughter-in-law can enter the room if they want. When people lock the door, they will cry and make a scene, saying that their son has no conscience and guard against her. China's mother-in-law didn't realize that once your son got married, he and his wife were family. Compared with their small family, you and your husband are strangers, and the two families have their own boundaries. The best way to deal with it is that the mother-in-law regards her son and daughter-in-law as the best neighbors and patiently gives them advice when they need it; When you need help, cooperate enthusiastically; When you need support, you always stand by them. 2. My son is afraid of being labeled as unfilial by others. Why do many men choose to help their mother-in-law? Under the influence of China's feudal thought, "filial piety" has become the supreme virtue, and it has also become a hat used by many parents to suppress their children. As long as their children are disobedient, they will directly say that they are unfilial. Many men give up the principle of being a man in order to ensure their reputation as "dutiful sons", no matter right or wrong. When my wife and mother have conflicts, I blindly favor my mother and help blame my wife. Mother-in-law regards her son more important than her husband. The core of family relationship is husband-wife relationship, which is definitely not parent-child relationship. Many mother-in-law will focus on her son, and once he finds a wife, he will be very lost. The son also feels that his mother has done a lot for himself and wants to return. If he stood by his wife, he would feel sorry for his mother. If the mother-in-law knows that her most important person is her husband and she will stay with him for a lifetime, then she will be very happy when her son gets married and will bless her son's daughter-in-law. If a son knows that his father is the most important person to his mother, all he has to do is love his wife as much as his father loves his mother. This is a virtuous circle. 4. I want to change the quarrel between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, because what will become more and more fierce? Another reason is that they both want to change each other. If they want to be smart wives, they should accept the unchangeable. It is not easy to change a person. The way to deal with stubborn mother-in-law is to concentrate your strength, show your expertise, impress her and let her know that you are not a bully. Second, the solution after the quarrel between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law 1, and take the initiative to admit mistakes in time. When we have a family, we must understand and tolerate, so try not to quarrel with our mother-in-law in life. If there is a quarrel between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, then as a daughter-in-law, no matter who is the main mistake, she should take the initiative to admit her mistake in time to ease the embarrassing and tense situation. In this case, we should not only take the initiative to admit our mistakes, but also pay attention to the time when we admit our mistakes. Young couples can admit their mistakes for a day or two, but both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should try their best to admit their mistakes in the shortest time, preferably not more than two hours. Tell your husband about the quarrel. When we quarrel with our mother-in-law and take the initiative to admit our mistakes, we can tell our husband about the quarrel and tell him that you have apologized. It should be noted here that what we told our husband was not how her mother-in-law was wrong, but the brief reason why we quarreled with her mother-in-law, and we were partly responsible, considering the basic situation that her husband and family had admitted the mistake. In this way, the husband gets information from us at the first time, which is less stressful than learning about the quarrel from his mother-in-law. At the same time, he will take care of you more because of your understanding and will protect you in future quarrels. 3. Daughter-in-law should not compare with mother-in-law. Mother-in-law treats her daughter and son better than her daughter-in-law. Naturally, there is no need to be jealous. Mother-in-law is kind to other sisters-in-law, and daughter-in-law can understand, because everyone has people who look pleasing to the eye for no reason, which is normal. Mother-in-law is a little nicer to her husband's brother, which is easier to understand. That's your husband's problem, not yours. Don't compare your mother-in-law with your mother. Your daughter is your mother's blood. Can you have no feelings? Mother-in-law is her husband's mother because of her husband's. We just met soon, even if she is the mother of her daughter-in-law, she is also a "stepmother". The proportion of meeting a good stepmother is too low, so don't expect it. 4. Don't argue with your mother-in-law about your son. For such a mother-in-law who lost her husband, she is more possessive of her son. She worked hard to raise her son and was very strong. The son is her world, so the daughter-in-law can't show that she wants to compete with her for her son. She is a little worried about the arrival of her daughter-in-law. At this time, husbands are generally obedient to their mother-in-law. After all, her mother has worked hard to raise herself, so we should properly handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. In any relationship, more communication is extremely important. Husband and wife need communication, parents and children need communication, but mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should actually communicate more. There are two reasons. First, because of the distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, their living habits, interpersonal communication and life experience are different. Mother-in-law, as an elder, naturally hopes that her daughter-in-law can approach them actively, because in their eyes, her daughter-in-law is actually like her own child. Third, what should I do because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? 1. reflect on your own reasons, give yourself some time to think, and ask yourself, what attitude did you maintain in the previous contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? Are you blindly partial to your mother? Have you considered your wife's feelings? "The daughter-in-law can still find it after she leaves, but there is only one mother." Men who often have this idea don't know what to do when their mother-in-law quarrels. If you can say a few words for your wife when her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law quarrel, at least she won't feel particularly wronged. As the mother of the child, her mother-in-law knows that her son cares about her daughter-in-law and won't say much. 2, learn to deal with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a very important part of marriage, and it is also the only way for a long-term marriage. In this sensitive relationship, men play a very important role. The more positive a man's attitude is, the more he knows how to "protect his wife", and the easier it is to resolve and avoid the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a big problem. A husband who doesn't know what to do after a quarrel between his mother-in-law and his daughter-in-law only knows how to escape or let his wife tolerate it again and again. The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will only intensify, and marriage will eventually die out. 3. Communicate with your wife. No matter who is right or wrong, as a boy, you still need to be generous and take the initiative to show weakness. Don't stubbornly think it's your wife's fault. You won't bow your head or call your wife. After a long time, the cold war has lasted for a long time, and the feelings will really fade, which will make your wife chilling. If you lower your head and take a step back, you may be able to broaden the horizon and make up with your husband and wife. If the wife goes back to her mother's house, she should show sincerity and action, visit her more often, tell her parents-in-law well, admit her shortcomings, give her a promise, let her give herself a chance, be sincere, and convince her that she won't do that again. It's gonna be okay.