Humorous sentences mocking life

1. The road to success is always under construction!

With you, I forget to eat and sleep. Without you, I don't think about tea and rice. I'm a little worried without you. Without you, I am wholeheartedly. Without you, I have nothing to do and a hateful game.

Your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.

I'm just pretending to be fat, not as ugly as you!

5. Really eating goods, dare to face the thick thighs.

6. I changed when I met him, and I couldn't get through two bullets in my face.

7. Why do you have to sleep for a long time before you die?

8. You hang out, your wife will change sooner or later!

9. How to lose weight if you don't have enough to eat?

10. If there is an afterlife, I must become nervous, because if I leave, you will be brain-dead.

1 1. Those hurdles you can't get through are all because your legs are short!

12. Please don't call me black, it's to protect you secretly.

13. This kind of thing is still sleeping soundly on the school table.

14. Please read aloud: lying plum smells fragrant flowers, and lying branches hurt and hate low. Invited to smell the wet rubble lying in the spring green.

15. Don't disturb me before you buy me snacks. Baby's time is precious.

16. Because I broke up with the quilt this morning, the quilt is very cold to me now.

17. Sometimes I drink a little wine and I can't figure it out by the cold moonlight. Why did I come to earth?

18. Don't flatten your mouth, I'll want to bite, because it's too like sausage.

19. I won't open it in a hurry after receiving the courier. I think I have learned to be reserved.

20. You are like love in the palm of your hand. It's strange that the palm of your hand doesn't suffocate …

2 1. I have to fight with the bed every day, and I usually lose.

22. Every time you wait in bed after quarreling with others, you will know how to scold at that time.

23. I seem to be allergic to paper, and I feel uncomfortable every time I do my homework.

24. He doesn't care what happens to you. Don't worry, I'm too lazy to talk to you.

Since the holiday, washing your face every day has nothing to do with me.

26. The computers at home are all very slow, so they crashed soon.

27. Homework Jun, Gong Ling has been destroyed. She has lost her mind. Today, you and I made up our minds.

28. Don't say you are single dog. Dogs are dead at your age.

29. Watching different tastes of sleeping pills walk around the podium every day.

I often go to the seaside, but I don't like the sea, but I like the waves.

3 1. Sleep hungry and count sheep. One, two, three, four, five strings, six strings. ...

32. Time has smoothed my edges and corners. Obviously, you are fat and you don't admit it!

33. Touch your chest. I'm still young and a baby.

34. The so-called growth means that when you hear the word rough, you will never think of the sea again.

35. Actually, I was not fat when I was a child. Really, the phrase "no leftovers" ruined my life.

You must hold your head high so that others can't see your double chin.

37. The name of a single man is single dog, and the name of a single woman is Goubuli.

38. You are like a moving magnet. You always repel me and never forget to attract me.

39. I have mastered a way to hide private money, and what I need next is money.

40. I thought it was a flower on the edge of a cliff, but later I realized it was just slag in a sea of people!

4 1. I never doubt that you are a beauty, I just doubt my aesthetics.

42. be strong Failure is also a part of success. Where you fall, you are wrong.

43. Sleeping is such a thing. I still sleep soundly at my school desk.

44. In a class and a harem, there are always several people competing for favor.

45. I think my math scores are worthy of the math teacher's face value!

46. Brother, don't let me use my power in Beijing. I don't want to start a bloody relationship.

47. Just look at me coldly, don't hit me just because you can't get me.

48. People who used to turn to ashes can recognize it, but now they can't recognize it with makeup.

49. Don't help me. I'm not drunk. The road ahead will move. Help me keep that road.

50. What is the sandwich yarn for women chasing men? Just across the Sahara desert.

5 1. Since I learned to talk back, my wife also learned to sharpen the knife.

52. I got up early for class today. When I first entered the classroom, the teacher smiled and said to me, "What a rare guest!" " I was confused at that time.

53. You'd better show your love at noon. Do you know why? Because sooner or later there will be retribution.

54. When the review boat is about to capsize, the desire to sleep comes.

Ask me for a gift on Children's Day. I can give it, but you should pay attention to it on Father's Day in a few days.

56. The way I express my feelings has always been simple and rude, and I have time to sleep together.

57. Girls who love to laugh are generally not too unlucky, but their grades are generally not good.

58. A boy who warms only one girl is called a warm man, and a boy who warms all girls is called a boiler.

59. I'll look good if I fall, and give my life to the ugly one. I'll show you what a thousand cups are not drunk.

60. Holding a hot, rechargeable mobile phone and putting my life and death at risk is a rare heroic moment in my life.

6 1. How much sadness can you have, just like a pair of long pants for everyone.

62. I can also type blindly, but others type blindly without looking at the keyboard and I don't look at the screen.

63. I have many superpowers, not just super cute.

Everyone who shakes his legs has a sewing machine in his heart.

You can disagree with me, but I can hit you.

66. The night will not be kind to those who sleep late, it will give you dark circles.

67. Don't drink water if you lose money, or you will get dirty.

68. What is the biggest shame in life? Cheating failed!

I saw a handsome boy in the distance. When I approached, I saw that it was a mirror.

70. Korean descendants are used to pick up girls, and China Houyi is used to shoot the sun.

7 1. personals: The requirements are as follows: A is alive and B is female.

72. It is better to learn Chinese for one year than to talk about QQ for half a year.

73. When a mouse gets angry, everyone is a sick cat.

74. I want to puppy love, but it's too late. ...

75. Love is like a ghost. Many people believe it, but few people see it.

76. The difference between people and pigs is that pigs have always been pigs, but people are sometimes not people!

77. If you don't take a bath in spring, mosquitoes bite everywhere. Also, ghosts scream, scaring you to run.

78. Beating is kissing, scolding is love, and love is extremely deep.

79. The object you are pursuing already has an object. Don't be discouraged, there will be points one day.

80. You dare to lie, so I don't believe it.

8 1. Wages are like a period, which comes once a month and disappears in a week.

82. When I passed by a person, my clothes were scratched, and there was no spark.

83. Home is a very unstable state. As long as there is a power failure, it will degenerate into a caveman.

84. Don't look for me if you have nothing to do, and don't look for me if you have anything to do!

85. I smoke because it hurts my lungs, and I am not sad.

86. It is not necessarily the prince who rides the white horse, but the Tang Priest. Those who have wings are not necessarily angels, but also birdmen!

87. Wukong, don't be so cruel. Give it to the teacher to ride, and kill her.

88. My schizophrenia was cured, and now I and I are fine.

89. Life is so vast and there is so much homework.

I think I should lose weight. Last time I donated blood, I spilled 100 ml of lard.

9 1. You are gold and I am coal. You will shine, and I will get hot. Don't mess with me, or I will melt you.

92. Life is so fucking interesting, because life always fucking plays with me.

93. I don't look down on you, but I'm too lazy to talk to you at all.

94. It is romantic for two people to stare at each other for a long time.

95. Cucumber lies in shooting, and life lies in happiness.

96. I always feel that the bed, too neatly laid, will mean a little to enjoy my old age. Well, it's still messy and energetic.

97. I am not a fortune teller in the square. I can't say so much as you like.

98. If my friends can sell for five dollars each, I can make a small fortune.

99. Why go when there is no way out? Just take the bus

100. People who run around brothels are not old. Please use Huiren Shenbao.