How are the neet people trained?

In recent years, the word NEET has become popular, and many people also scoff at NEET, but they don't know that NEET is actually cultivated by their parents.

Unexpectedly, my daughter has reached the age of neet, and almost began to evolve into an neet.

Before our daughter graduated from the University of Toronto, we asked her if she wanted to pursue further studies. She said that she was determined not to study any more. Studying too hard, she still doesn't know what major she is interested in, and there is no direction for the postgraduate entrance examination.

Both her father and I think that it is more important for liberal arts students to go to graduate school and accumulate work experience, so we agree with her decision.

After returning to China, she began to look for a job. As a foreign undergraduate, few companies can help her get a work visa. It is not easy to find a job, and it is even more difficult to add this restriction, but it is still easy to apply for a work visa if you have a postgraduate diploma.

She found that many classmates and friends around her decided to continue to apply for graduate students in foreign universities because they were afraid of finding a job. Because of the epidemic, they all choose to take online classes in China. Although it may be difficult to attend classes at night, some schools have recorded videos of their classes so that students can watch them at any time.

So these so-called international students began to live a "good day" of eating, drinking and watching videos while getting their diplomas. Even a couple went to Yunnan to rent a homestay, took online classes and lived a fairy-like life. So where does the living expenses come from? They say there is a kind of money called "mom's money" (mom's money). My parents will always give me money if I don't start working anyway. Haha, in that case, why do you have to work early? Continue to enjoy life. Isn't this a new way to eat away at the old?

My daughter also began to want to go to graduate school and asked us. After discussion, we think that she should not go to graduate school to escape, let alone let her learn from those friends and become a bookworm. We believe that children 18 years old should be independent. In western society, children earn their own money by going to graduate school, unlike parents in China who always bear the expenses for their children to go to graduate school or even get a doctorate.

We have been raising her until she graduated from university at the age of 23, which has fulfilled our obligations, so we clearly told her that we would not give money to support her to study in graduate school. If she had to study, she would try to earn money by herself. She felt wronged and asked why her parents didn't support their children wholeheartedly and unconditionally like her friends' parents.

My daughter finally found a good job and started working in May this year. Her monthly pre-tax income is1.2000 yuan. She lives with us. Instead of buying a house in Shanghai, we rented a house.

Whether living in my parents' home or moving out after marriage, it has always been a tradition in my family to give my parents living expenses after work. I have always thought that parents have worked hard to raise themselves and giving them living expenses is also an obligation to support the elderly.

I am looking forward to my daughter's voluntary submission of living expenses, but she has been working for almost three months. She didn't say anything. In addition to giving me gifts on my birthday, she naturally enjoyed going out to eat, watch movies and pay the bill in the supermarket that day. Just retired this year, the Tesla car at home sent her to work every day, but she never remembered that she needed to recharge.

My daughter's consumption level is higher than mine. Cosmetics need to use famous brands; Go to those cheap online celebrity restaurants with friends every week; Go to the bubble net red cafe with your best friend on weekends. Watching plays and concerts, spending various festivals with boyfriends, and sending flowers and gifts without blinking.

I decided to talk to her. I asked her if she ever thought about living at home after work and whether she wanted to give me living expenses. She said yes, but asked her classmates and friends. As a result, no one gave their parents living expenses. Some parents said they didn't need it, and she didn't mention it.

I told her that no matter what others do, the rule in our family is to work. If you live with us, you need to pay the living expenses.

She cried and asked me why I always talked to her about money, which made her feel that this home was not warm; Why is filial piety to give living expenses? She believes that filial piety means having time to spend with parents; Few mothers like me ask their children for living expenses in this society now.

She also said that times are different now, and the price level in Shanghai is already the first in the world. Young people should not say that they can't afford to buy a house. Wages can only maintain a normal life and adequate social activities. I said that her consumption was too high, and she complained that compared with her friends, she was the most economical, and she didn't pursue famous brands when buying clothes and bags.

I was a little dumbfounded after listening to her words. How can what is normal in our eyes become abnormal in the eyes of young people now? What's wrong with the world now?

I once talked with my friends about how the NEET became popular in China. This has to talk about our parents after 70. Some people say that the post-70s are the lucky ones who have never seen the world.

After graduating from college, this is a good opportunity for China to reform and open up. There are not only many job opportunities, but also opportunities to make money everywhere. Buying stocks, buying houses and doing business can make a fortune at will. Therefore, most parents after 70 are not short of money, and even have several suites at home. Even in less affluent families, parents scrimp and save to create the best living conditions for their children. Due to the one-child policy, there is only one child in the family. Not only will you not ask your child for living expenses, but you may also post them, pay a down payment or have a house ready for your child. As a result, all the children born after 70 have become neets, and the traditional concept of providing for the aged has almost been lost.

It can be said that it is such post-70 s parents who have trained a large number of neets. These children may wear brand-name clothes, carry brand-name bags, use brand-name school supplies, eat organic food, go to tall restaurants, travel with their parents to stay in high-end hotels every year, and even fly business class. Parents will send them to international schools and go abroad to study in universities, where they will learn to compare with each other, use brand-name cosmetics and give each other brand-name gifts.

Now that I have grown up, it is time to work independently, only to find that the salary level is not enough for my own consumption, and the accustomed high consumption level cannot be lowered at all, so there are people who continue to study in order to escape; Looking for a job is too high or too low, unwilling to suffer; After finding a job, I don't give living expenses, but I still rely on my parents to continue funding. The saddest thing is that these parents are willing to be gnawed by their children, but their children are rightfully gnawing at the old, and they don't even realize that they are gnawing at the old.

I don't know when these children will really grow up and be truly independent. One of my daughter's classmates suddenly went bankrupt, and even the house where she grew up was gone. She was going to Germany to continue her postgraduate studies, but now she feels that the sky is falling.

These children who grew up in sugar water have no sense of crisis at all, and they don't know that if they face setbacks or even lose their independence, they always think they can live under the protection of their parents for a lifetime. Once there is a crisis at home, can they bear hardships, take responsibility and earn money to support themselves and their parents in turn? Are there still fewer children who are anxious, depressed and even commit suicide because they can't stand the pressure?

It is natural for parents to love their children. We really need to think about how this way of loving children will affect their future. Will we hurt the children? Should we continue to subsidize children or cut off their financial resources?

We can't stay with our children forever. They still have a long way to go. We should help them grow up independently as soon as possible, cultivate their ability to make money, and learn how to face difficulties and setbacks and adapt to cruel competition. In the face of difficulties and crises, they can go on bravely on their own.