What should a mother do if her child is clingy? Is it my mother's problem?

Why is the child so clingy to his mother? Why do some children love to cling to their mothers? Is it the child's problem that the child loves to cling to his mother, or is it the mother's problem? Let’s take a look at how to deal with a child who clings to his mother?

A mother reported that she didn’t know why her one-and-a-half-year-old daughter became more clingy than other children of the same age. When she turned around to go to the toilet, her daughter yelled and had to follow her; when she wanted to go out for something, her daughter would cry and not let her go out. As a result, every time she went out, she had to go through various "farewell ceremonies" with her daughter. Only by coaxing her to be happy can she go out smoothly. However, when she closes the door, her daughter can get along well with her family; her daughter just wants her mother to play with her all the time, and her daughter will grab her mother's book and read it; her daughter will scream unhappy if her mother chats more with her family; When I took my daughter out to play, my mother had to hold her for almost the whole time and refused to get off and walk alone.

… …

Ask her how her family usually takes care of their children?

The mother said that she is a full-time mother who takes care of her children at home full-time. The child's father often travels for 3-5 days on business trips, and then he can rest at home for 2-3 days. During the rest period, he will spend time with his child very seriously. When the child's father is on a business trip, the grandmother occasionally comes over to help take care of the child, and the child's grandparents also occasionally come from other places to check on the child. She felt that she and the child's father had spent a lot of time with the child, and both were relatively patient. But I just don’t understand why my daughter is more clingy than other children of the same age? Is it because other family members don't always come to accompany her for a long time, but only her mother always stays with her? Or is it because she is not very good at playing with children, and when accompanying her children she pays more attention to indoctrination education and lacks guidance?

Children are very attached to their mothers for two reasons. 1. There is insufficient parent-child mutual trust between mother and child, causing the child to feel insecure once he leaves his mother. Just like a couple who lacks trust and sense of security, one party must be within the controllable range of the other party to feel relieved. Once out of this controllable range, the insecure party will become restless and always thinking about The other party immediately appeared within his field of vision. This is related to the lack of spiritual and emotional communication between mothers and children. If a mother can communicate more emotionally with her child when accompanying her child, she will seize the opportunity and dare to express her everlasting and everlasting love to her child. And when a child can be sure of his mother's love all the time and everywhere, he will be able to confidently believe that his mother is only temporarily away for a while and will come back soon to continue to accompany me. The child will naturally not be anxiously worried that his mother will leave him, and naturally he will not always cling to his mother. 2. The child neither dares to play nor knows how to play. Therefore, if he leaves his mother, he will feel that he has nothing to do, so he can only cling to his mother.

Generally speaking, a one-and-a-half-year-old child should be at the right time when he starts to learn to rummage through boxes and cabinets and move around. It may be that this mother is not very good at playing with her children and pays more attention to indoctrination education and lacks guidance methods, which leads to the fact that the children do not dare to play, do not know how to play, and cannot play. This isn't the child's problem, it's the mother's problem.

If you understand it correctly, the "indoctrination education" mentioned by this mother should be to do everything, just tell the children that they should do this and not do that, and that's it. In fact, any knowledge of children must be gained through personal hands-on experience. As a parent, if you are only responsible for your own words and actions, but do not guide your children to use their hands, such companionship will be in vain for the children.

Of course, many parents may agree with what this mother said, that we are ‘not very good at playing with our children’.

Then I want to say that this is just one of the excuses these parents find for their laziness.

To raise children, you must first raise yourself.

If after giving birth to children, all parents still cling to the living habits and knowledge reserves they had before becoming parents, and cannot learn from many sources for their children and ask for advice on how to raise them, then of course these parents can find a way. Luokung's reason is, "I don't know how to do this! I'm not good at this! I've always been like this!..." And the children who are accompanied by them will of course have endless problems. Once a problem occurs, you will become overwhelmed and anxious.

When it comes to parenting, not only must we not be lazy, we must also be very attentive.

If you are careful, you will find that when you take your children to the supermarket, they will be very curious about the dazzling array of products and will touch and look here and there. At this time, you can use local materials, guide your children to observe and identify them, and tell them in detail what they are and what their uses are. The child's cognition will improve through hands-on activities every day, and he will gradually establish his own focus, and eventually learn to play and play. He will have something to do at any time and will not stick to you all the time.

If you pay attention, you will find that every time you have an intimate chat with your children, their childlike words are always so cute and heart-warming. And when you learn to express your deep love to your child in his own language, your child will always respond with happiness in a timely manner. Over time, you and your child will establish a harmonious relationship that is intimate and can talk about everything. And by that time, your child will naturally feel your love for him all the time. Even if you leave temporarily, he will be considerate of you, trust you, and will not cling to you anymore.