Have you ever done anything embarrassing or sand sculpture?

When I was at school, I lived on campus, and students from all corners of the country gathered in a dormitory. Everyone got along well. Once I wanted to shine my shoes, I went to my roommate Tianjin to borrow tools. She told me that the shoe polish was in the shoe box, and I rummaged it for a long time. Only shoe polish, no shoe brush. I asked her, where is your shoe brush? She said that I didn't have a shoe brush, so I was forced to ask her, how can I brush my shoes without a shoe brush? She said, just touch it with your fingers and brush it slowly. Fingers? I'm dubious. Think about it. Very convenient. Apply evenly to your fingers and just carry it with you. So I wiped it with my finger. After a while, Tianjin classmates looked up and saw me happily putting shoe polish on my shoes, staring at my black fingers stained with shoe polish and saying, what are you doing? ? I am happy to say that I brush my shoes. This method is really good and convenient, and the color is even. Even the shoe brush was saved, but the fingers were blackened. She looked at me suspiciously. I said toilet paper. Toilet paper, not fingers! Me. . .

There are indeed many embarrassing things, and I have answered several embarrassing things before. Let me talk about the embarrassing things I did.

1. I got eczema in junior high school and went to the hospital to take some medicine. Maybe it's because drugs reduce water that I'm constipated. This incident is really impressive. I feel like I'm halfway to the toilet, and I can't pull it out or retract it. Have you ever felt it? At that time, I stayed in the toilet for a long time. Various attempts, eating bananas, Niuhuang Jiedu tablets, and using Kaisailu. I really need to go to the hospital. If I really go to the hospital, my wife will be really embarrassed. Fortunately, it took about four hours, and finally it was successfully solved. I was saved. This feeling will never be forgotten!

Two years ago, I went to Xiamen to play and wore a white skirt, and then a young man stopped me and told me that there was blood behind the skirt. It seems that he asked me if I had my period, and my face turned red at once. How embarrassing! It's really my period!

Once in the elevator, I couldn't help but want to fart, but there were too many people inside and my colleagues were embarrassed, so I kept holding back. Finally, I didn't hold back. It's so long and smelly that I feel that all eyes are staring at me.

When I was in the second grade of primary school, I once held back my urine for a long time and ran to the toilet immediately after class. I squatted down to pee before I could take off my pants. As a result, all my pants were finished, so I had to ask the teacher to call my parents to send them.

The thing is, I was waiting for the bus at Huaihai Middle Road bus stop this morning, and I was very happy to play backfire with my mobile phone. Suddenly, a deep old male voice came from my ear, "Young man, cultivate immortality."

I was stunned at that time, cultivating immortals and spreading feudal superstitions.

Funny, I am a good young man who has received nine-year compulsory education, is familiar with Xinhua Dictionary, and knows the socialist values by heart. Will he believe it? ! Ridiculous, I want to condemn him and stop his ignorant behavior, so I turned my head and said

"Why?"

Well, this old man, dressed in rags and covered with an old wooden box, seems inappropriate to me.

"Fifty!"

What, cultivate immortality is only fifty? The picture in my mind, which has been playing games in a trance, is like this: "Touch the stone, touch the stone and turn it into gold!" " ""fly to the ground! "

I followed the old man to the alley. The old man put down the box, sat on the broken stool and said to me, "Take it down."

I immediately wondered, "Take it off? Take off what, preach in public? Two people can work without taking off their clothes! " However, in order to turn the stone into gold and fly to the ground, time stood still, so I forbeared, and I began to unbutton my coat. When I was about to untie it, the old man looked at me with an idiot's eyes in broad daylight.

By this time, I already felt something was wrong.

The old man's box was opened.

Say good fly sword gourd cheats magic weapon! ! ? What do you mean by a pile of rags, awls, shoe brushes, shoe polish and pedals? I think I know what he does. Just as I was trying to think about how to throw out a set of serial skills next, the old man said, "You little dolls are out of your mind. Fix your shoes and take off your clothes! "

Finally, I took out fifty dollars to repair shoes. I advise you, when you meet an old man with a wooden box on his back at the bus stop, you must make him straighten his tongue again and again! Repair shoes or cultivate immortals!

Once I took an intercity bus, because there was no conductor on the bus, I gave the fare directly to the driver. Arriving at the check-in site, two passengers who didn't buy tickets on the way bought tickets. After they bought the tickets, I added, "I gave the money to the driver. Can I have a ticket? "

The conductor asked the driver, "He said he gave you money. Have you received the money? "

The driver didn't want to admit it at first, and the conductor looked at me and the driver several times before the driver nodded reluctantly.

The conductor went down without saying anything. After the car restarted, the driver said, "I took your money and she didn't force you to buy a ticket." Why do you say so much? Now you almost ruined my extra money! "

I quickly apologized: "Sorry, I really didn't read it!"

The driver continued, "It's good that you know this kind of thing. Don't talk too much and get into trouble. If I emphasize that you didn't give me money, you can only buy another ticket! " "

I was so embarrassed that I didn't see such a simple routine.

Since then, I have never taken a bus, because the city routine is deep and I am going back to the countryside!

I'm coming.

There is one thing that has made my best friend laugh for half his life, and now she sometimes takes it out to humiliate me.

At that time, having your own computer was a luxury. When I first went to college, my uncle gave me a computer, and I was an idiot in computer operation, and I did something that embarrassed me all my life.

The computer system crashed, so I called a friend who sold computers. This guy was probably busy, so he said, press f 1 1 ~ according to his instructions, after booting ... F 1 1? What is this? After a while, I called and asked: I pressed F and clicked 1 several times, but there was no response ~

Opposite explosion: f11~ f11... not F~ 1 1, forget it. I'll do it when I get back. I felt very wronged at that time. Can't you teach me well?

In order to show my wisdom and beauty, I once bought a cookbook. The purpose is to show yourself when the company visits the farmhouse, of course, because the leaders are present.

Near noon, we began to prepare our own meals, which is undoubtedly happy.

Fire, jumping in the furnace of night. Now the pot with the lid on is steaming with floating meat.

The leader put his head into the pot and soaked his whole head in steam. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and a smell came to our faces, which made us drool.

The leader asked me, "Yin Cangtai, can't you cook? Come and guide me. "

In order to show that I am different, I also put my head into the pot and my expression softened in the rising steam. But I opened my eyes, looked at the pot and shook it with chopsticks, becoming a picky first-class gourmet. Later, I published a long poem:

"This dish which meeting is northeast stew, my mama ah, stew is not to do this! Cook well and let the cook die! Why not put soy sauce? What's white like? Did soy sauce annoy you? You have a grudge against pork. You put such a big pot of meat? How about cabbage? What about tofu? Where's Egg Man? Where are the fans? Where are the potatoes? My fairy board, the drought in the pot and the cabbage with meat and oil are all tangled, so what else do you want to love? God, you've messed up the stew in the northeast. It's a pork soup! "

My colleagues stared at me, and the leader gave me a thumbs up. Some colleagues wisely chose silence.

I still hate iron and don't produce steel, sighing: "Maybe there is a chance to remedy it. I will try my best. "

I took out cabbage and vermicelli from the kitchen and poured them into the pot in a destructive manner. A batch of vegetables was mixed into the pot. I stirred the company, poured the soy sauce into it, accompanied by a whole bottle of soy sauce, and a proud declaration: "I will let you know what a serious stew is!" "

Some colleagues have begun to cover their eyes and watch all this through their fingers.

The contents of the pot are absolutely colorful.

I asked the leader almost obsequiously: "Leader, this taste is ok, better than the person who cooked just now." I just cooked this dish in the New Year, and they really ate it. " It's better to be guided by leaders. "

The leader really said to me, "I just cooked the meal."

He was found to have great power in the university dormitory and was called to the office by the counselor for review. As soon as the tour guide scolded me, I began to have a runny nose and tears. I don't know what's going on, but I feel wronged. Then I still have a question. I cried for a long time before I stopped crying. I asked the tour guide for the tissue and kept standing there crying. I stop talking when I cry. Finally, the tour guide couldn't help crying. He still has a feeling of wanting to laugh, saying that I cried like I was wronged. In fact, I was pinching my thighs below, but I couldn't help crying, which made me very angry. I just wanted to find a place to disappear. I am so worthless and embarrassed. I'm embarrassed to think about it now.

When I was a junior, I opened a public elective course in my class, which seemed to be humanities and arts. Two large classes/kloc-more than 0/50 people are taking classes collectively in the big classroom.

Because everyone is skipping classes in elective courses, Loulou is one of them. I escaped, and so did he. There are often few people in the big classroom. This is too much. Professors of elective courses will start to call the roll, and if they are not in this class for three times, they will not pass.

Once when Lou was playing games in the dormitory, the roommate sent a message saying that the professor was going to call the roll soon.

Loulou rushed to the classroom and found that the classroom was full. As a scum, of course I like sitting in the last row. Fortunately, there is a table for five in the last row, and four people are empty. If it had been robbed in normal times. Isn't that weird?

I sat down without thinking, opened my book, turned on my cell phone and started having fun. After playing a few games, I saw a girl I didn't know, wearing glasses and holding a pen. This elective course is still so serious. Loulou has always been a warm-hearted, ready to tell her to be a guest, classmate, you still take notes in this class, are you stupid? There is no exam, and the teacher will let you pass at the end of the term.

Beauty looked at me and asked if you were in Class One. What's your name? Loulou replied, no wonder I don't know you. I am in Class 2 ~ ~ ~, I add some WeChat, and this class is super boring, and what the teacher said is also very boring. It's better to play with your mobile phone than to watch it.

I passed all the final exams except me. Do you know why?