In this world, how can there be so many people who follow their inclinations?

& gt& gt& gt In this world, how can there be so many people who follow their inclinations?

Text/Ping He

During the Spring Festival, most of us are happy with our families.

I also spent as a standard setting off fireworks, eating melon seeds, watching TV, chatting and joking, talking about my relatives and my past, future and present, listening to firecrackers, singing and dancing, playing mahjong, talking and laughing ... In the noise, I got a moment of inner peace.

I have been away from home for more than six years. Not far, but it takes four or five hours by car. Four or five times a year is enough.

Years ago, I couldn't restrain my excitement. I could rejoice with my family and talk with my husband about the past with tears and laughter.

the point is

I am a flower, you are Xiao Xin, and he is a dog doll-we don't have to wear masks, but we are used to smiling. We can go to the hospital at will, refuse at will, and act at will, even though we are comfortable.

? This is the charm of home. You don't have to hide it ?

Until one day, my uncle's words reminded me of the present.

The scene that day was like this:

The family wants to play mahjong and strongly urges her husband to make up the corner. My attitude towards mahjong has always been contemptuous. At first, I tried my best to refuse, both in my heart and in my performance, because I had to stay in the teahouse when he went to fill in the corner, and I could only play with my mobile phone or ... be in a daze!

You know, this is a great challenge for people like me who pursue self-discipline;

You know, there is a concept of "hourly wage" now, which means-how much is your hour worth?

Of course, it is ridiculous for a young person like me to talk about this concept, but I have been constantly strengthening my time sensitivity, rooted in the belief that I should abandon ineffective social interaction and increase my value with the least time. I seem to hear my inner cry: I want to be a simple, regular and efficient person!

However, although I didn't use all these "squeezed out" time, or gain something, my anxiety about blank time was serious, and I almost felt nervous with self-blame!

Just when I refused to make up the corner, my uncle said: There are so many things in the world, you can do whatever you want, and you have to accompany them. I couldn't think too much at that time. Faced with the urgent expectations of our families, we all compromised. I sat next to them and watched them, playing with my mobile phone. My anxiety rose and I almost exploded, but how could I break out with my relatives? I chose to go out for a walk.

Later, in another environment, I experienced many similar situations and began to think about compromise and fulfillment. The phrase "There are so many free-wheeling things in the world, you have to accompany them ~" has been lingering in my mind.

I don't know if there is a moment when you have to make a choice between sticking to yourself and nodding your head in the face of other people's demands and your own beliefs. At this time, there is no right or wrong choice-be yourself, make yourself comfortable, be wronged, and not hurt everyone, no matter whether you are facing relatives, friends or colleagues.

I think it is a principle that we should have at least respect when choosing. For example, if you lose weight and insist on not eating for a long time after noon, it happens that your friend invites you to taste her cooking in the evening, and she is filled with joy. What do you do?

Either explain the reason from the beginning, hope to change the time to noon or cook more dishes, enjoy the cooking process with her, and try to choose a coping style that doesn't hurt people or hurt themselves.

For another example, I seldom wash my hair outside. In order to protect my hair, I always ask myself to blow dry it. In order not to embarrass my little brother, I will say: I will do it myself, just blow it briefly, thank you! Then take a heavy hair dryer and set it to the minimum gear. Blow your head for five minutes and then leave.

Also, when you get home, you don't just pat your ass and leave after dinner. You stay, spend time with your parents and enjoy the process of clearing the table together.

Perhaps maturity means that when you understand that there are not so many random choices in the world, you can properly handle the dilemma.

May we all have a simple, regular, efficient and loving life!

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-The author-?

Ping He, a word lover, national psychological counselor, social worker, Sina Weibo: @ffffffarless.