What should I do if I have low self-esteem?

I just applied today. I understand your troubles through knowing, and suddenly I want to express my thoughts. If I don’t express myself well, please don’t be offended!

In fact, every one of us has troubles. The key to the problem is whether you have an open heart. When you let go of your heart, I believe your life will become better and better. ! There are more and more friends! Life is because you regard him as heavy and heavy.

I originally wanted to say something, but I feel that my ability to express myself is too poor, so I’ll stop here! Hope you get better soon!

There are always many problems to face in life. If you can escape from the first day of the new year, you can't escape from the fifteenth day. The problems will be solved sooner or later. Believe in yourself! You can definitely handle it. Everyone else has problems just like you.

In addition, try to play some small adventure games to exercise your courage. Others are not much better than you, so why bother to feel inferior.

Tell a story

Mary felt that she was not pretty enough and had low self-esteem. She always walked with her head down. One day, she went to the jewelry store and bought a green bow. The shopkeeper kept praising her for how beautiful the bow was. Although Mary didn't believe it, she was very happy. She couldn't help but raise her head. Eager to show it to everyone, she bumped into someone when she went out. Didn't even care.

Mary walked into the classroom and met her teacher head-on. "Mary, you look so beautiful when you raise your head!" The teacher patted her shoulder lovingly and said.

That day, she received praises from many people. She thought it must be the bow, but when she looked in the mirror, she saw that there was no bow at all on her head. She must have lost it when she came out of the jewelry store.

However, Mary knew that she would never need a bow again.

This is a true story. This little girl named Mary is now a famous host on HBO. In fact, there are many similar things happening around you and me. There are many people around us who have low self-esteem, but they may not be as lucky as Mary, and they are still suffering from low self-esteem.

People with low self-esteem often encounter some difficulties, so they feel that they are worthless. In fact, they can shine at critical moments, they can change their own lives, and they can also influence others.

Of course, if you are an extremely stubborn person with low self-esteem, and you always think that you have shortcomings of one kind or another, then let me tell you, your life will be a tragedy. Instead of being tortured in the tragedy, it is better to It's better to bury yourself now. In other words, I think before you do the following training, please firmly believe that you will be able to successfully break through the difficulty of low self-esteem.

Your performance will always be a loser

If I asked you: "Who are you? What do you think of yourself?" Then before you answer this question, you may want to Look at your past and recall the painful experiences that stick with you, rather than the good memories that make you proud or happy.

Those bad memories and your perceived shortcomings form your answer, and you behave like a loser, downcast and lifeless:

Going out for an outing with a friend, because the friend is walking too fast point, you think they are isolating you and looking down on you;

When you are with your girlfriend, do you often feel that you are not doing well in something for no reason;

When a friend jokingly mentions something that is embarrassing for you, you will not say to him: "Hey, you are such a shameless guy!" Instead, you think you have cleverly changed the topic;

When you go out to work with colleagues of the opposite sex in your unit, do you often stay away from each other intentionally or unintentionally?

When choosing your own clothes, you always ask others for their opinions;

When you are with a group of people, you will be closer to those who are inferior to you;

When walking on the road, you like to lower your head instead of looking around;

In When talking to people, you don’t dare to raise your head and make eye contact with the other person, but lower your head or look away;

When you enter a dance party or enter a venue, if many people’s eyes are focused on you, You will feel embarrassed;

You never dare to stand in front of the mirror when getting dressed;

You sometimes ask others about things you have already determined.

You see, you are like a person in a box. You always do things on tiptoe, and you cannot hold your head high in front of others. Any evaluation you have of yourself is still based on the past, and you feel that there is a big gap between yourself and others. If you continue like this, your life will be doomed to failure! There is no word self-confidence in your dictionary. I can’t see you saying to yourself, “I’m great!” Rich friends always think about their own lack of money. You are living in extreme pain, but you don't know how much impact your low self-esteem has on your life.

The direct consequence of your poor self-esteem is that you will continue to be inactive. How does low self-esteem affect your life? Inferiority will control your life, killing your courage and courage when you make decisions and choices; when you encounter difficulties, inferiority complex will stand behind you and scare you loudly; when you want to take a big step When moving forward, inferiority holds your sleeve and tells you to be careful of landmines. After all, there are only a limited number of decision-making moments in each of our lives, and some major decisions directly affect our lives. Because of your low self-esteem, you are overcome by difficulties. Because of your low self-esteem, you have lost your long-cherished partner of the opposite sex and the opportunity to communicate with smart people. You may have turned the things that originally brought you happiness into making you uncomfortable.

An accidental setback will make you feel dejected, helpless, and deny everything about yourself. You will feel that you are worthless and useless, and you will fall into the whirlpool of self-blame and guilt. Inferiority eats away at your life like a moth. It is a stumbling block to success and a roadblock to a happy life. Your mentality gradually becomes depressed, and your life has no passion. In the next few years of your life, you may continue to pass your time by drinking, smoking, overeating, living alone, and watching boring TV. You tell yourself that you have tried your best but there is nothing you can do. On the day you die, you will still feel inferior because your life has not improved.

Inferiority makes you underestimate your own image, abilities and qualities, and always compare your weaknesses with the strengths of others, making you feel that you really know nothing and are inferior to others. Then, you will become more and more inferior to yourself, and you will become less and less able to hold your head high. Let us imagine that on the day you die, your friends may say this about you: "I don't know why he has no passion, and he has done nothing in his life. He lives timidly and melancholy. He is the only one in the world." The most useless person, it's a shame, he can actually be a great person."

What happens to the confident people next to you? They approach challenges with positivity and affirmation, and they live life to the fullest instead of filling their time with demoralizing things.

They happily eat and chat with friends or family, and enjoy the wonderful feeling that love brings them. They exercise regularly to maintain their perfect body shape, and seek the advice of smart people without shame. Confidence is great for them!

Above, I let you see your own poor performance and helped you imagine the consequences of low self-esteem. You will be implicated in it your whole life, so now, let us see what it is like deep down in your low self-esteem.

You often feel inferior because you have always had doubts about yourself deep down in your heart. The root of your inferiority may come from you thinking that you have an ugly appearance or figure, or that your family background is not good. Your economy is worse than others, or your girlfriend (boyfriend) is not as handsome as others, etc. Deep down in your heart you are extremely afraid. You are afraid that these weaknesses that make you feel inferior will be seen by others and they will laugh at you. You are thinking that they will definitely say: "You look really unique", "So your family is so simple", "Why are you so poor at such an old age?" or "Oh my God, your lover is really Ordinary enough, but it suits you well” and so on.

These thoughts come from your own doubts or experiences in judging things. In fact, they are caused by your own deep fear.

For example, your low self-esteem about your short body may stem from being looked down upon by others when you were growing up. Of course, it may also be caused by comparing yourself with others. Whatever the reason, your subconscious mind has a negative image of your body. So whenever it comes to physical information, you will call out this hidden negative influence from your subconscious mind. Being short in body is painful for you, so you will be depressed, you are afraid of being looked down upon by others, and your low self-esteem will emerge. Similarly, when you meet a friend whose financial situation is better than yours, you may think of the pain poverty has brought you, and you are afraid of being laughed at by this friend, so your negative feelings of inferiority will burst out, making you unable to function normally. communicate with people.

However, emotion or mentality is an important condition for you to complete things or achieve your goals. Obviously, you will fail due to low self-esteem.

In fact, overcoming inferiority complex, as I said at the beginning of this book, is not very difficult. It took me less than an hour to overcome the low self-esteem that had always existed in my heart. I think you can do the same. Let us learn how to overcome the inferiority complex in our hearts and believe that you are the best in the following links.

Inferiority is often accompanied by laziness, which is often used to justify one's survival within limited goals. Such humility is worthless. Low self-esteem can easily erode your fighting spirit and not only make your psychological activities unbalanced, it is also a catalyst for accelerating aging. A friend of mine who is a professor at medical school told me that based on his clinical experience, many people can recover, relying on the patient's optimistic attitude, not just the drugs they take; while other patients may be in good health. , but because of fear or worry, he left the world early. This experience shows how important a person’s mentality is! I want to tell you that inferiority complex has a huge impact on your body, mind and career, and you must adjust your mentality immediately.

Having said so much, you will definitely ask me how to get out of the shadow of low self-esteem. I will tell you the five most effective steps. You must change yourself conceptually.

The first step is to often say to yourself "I'm awesome!"

Inferiority is because you can't understand yourself correctly, look down on yourself, and don't believe in your own strength. There is always a Feeling powerless, always giving up on yourself in whatever you do, relying on others for everything, and the result is that you can't do anything well or succeed. I can’t say it too much. Many of those who spend their time smoking, drinking, and having fun all day long do so because they don’t believe they can accomplish great things and have lost confidence in themselves, which leads them to waste their time in this way. life.

I have heard such a true story: a ruthless and alcoholic man killed the waiter in the bar who he disliked after an overdose, and was sentenced to life. imprisonment.

He has two sons who are one year apart. One of them was often burdened with the strong inferiority complex of having such a father and eventually fell into the habit of drug and alcohol abuse. As a result, he also went to prison for murder. The other child is now the CEO of a multinational company and has a happy family. Some people may not believe it. This gap is caused simply because he does not regard having a murderous father as a burden of inferiority. He keeps telling himself before doing anything, "The fact is that I have a murderous father." Although I can’t change, I can change myself, and I am still the best!”

So, you should always say to yourself, “I can do it.” When doing things, you must always think of the word "must", because you are outstanding and you will take practical actions. You may feel uncomfortable doing this at first, but over time, after a few successful things, you will slowly discover that "I am born to be useful." It turns out that you have always been the best, and have always been the best. of.

The second step is to learn to start with "small goals".

After you have hit the wall many times and suffered setbacks, you may feel that you are an incompetent person, so you feel inferior and doubt yourself in everything you do. With all due respect, don't be too ambitious, set appropriate goals, start with small things, and do the things you can do step by step, that is, use "small steps" to adjust your psychology.

I know a master long-distance runner who has won many competitions, so I asked him how to maintain sufficient physical strength to reach the finish line. He smiled and told me that his method was actually very simple, that is, he divided the road leading to the end into many small sections. When he started running, he would first run towards the end of the nearest section, and when he reached it, he would encourage himself, so that Run to the end of the next short section with more confidence. The advantage of this is that he can easily reach each small end point, maintain confidence for a long time, and finally reach the end point of the entire long-distance running race.

You cannot have "big goals". You must have long-term plans. However, after these long-term goals are formulated, it is more important to set more intermediate goals and complete them step by step. Often use the ability to Encourage yourself with the "intermediate achievement value" of completion. You have to learn to succeed in your strengths, and successful experience and accumulation can continuously eliminate your inferiority complex and enhance your confidence. In short, continuous success will change the inferiority complex of "looking down on yourself", and eventually you will find that you have regained the long-lost self-confidence.

The third step is not to have too strong a sense of honor.

Don’t have vanity that can never be satisfied. Inferiority and pride seem to be very different, but they are actually twin sisters. Generally speaking, people with strong inferiority complex often have excessive self-esteem. They have a lot of psychological baggage and cannot move forward lightly. At other times, vanity urges you to work hard, but once you fail, you will be more disappointed than usual, and your heart will be hit much harder than usual.

You must understand that this psychological baggage is carried by yourself and is the result of "asking for trouble". Because of this, I want you to throw away your vanity and completely take off the mask on your face. Regarding overcoming vanity, I will dedicate a day in the following training to help you.

The fourth step is to forget everything that happened in the past.

You have to work hard to get rid of the psychological trauma of the past and don't always blame yourself. What makes me sad is that many people like you who have low self-esteem are often because they are immersed in the past and cannot extricate themselves. Before doing something, they will always think of an experience similar to this one. If this experience is painful, your confidence in doing things will be affected. A serious blow. For example, you want to pursue a beautiful girl, but your past failure experience tells you that it is too difficult for you, so when you face that girl, you will definitely doubt your ability and feel inferior. Therefore, it is very important for you to quickly forget the negative things that happened in the past.

When you think of unpleasant things in the past, quickly shift the "target" and often use pleasant things to adjust yourself.

Learn to change your inner sorrow, which is equivalent to eradicating the soil of low self-esteem. If you think of unhappy things in the past, then quickly find some "fun", watch a comedy movie or play ball with friends, and let the unhappy things get away from you. This method is suitable for people who often have low self-esteem. Said it was very effective.

The fifth step is to throw away the burden of physical and mental defects.

You must not look at yourself through "tinted glasses", let alone others. Maybe you will say: "My fate is so miserable, what can I do?" We can look at the example of Ed Roberts. He was infected with polio at the age of fourteen and was paralyzed from the neck down, sitting in a wheelchair. , he can only rely on a breathing device to maintain his life. According to the so-called normal logic, Ed will definitely live in the pain of low self-esteem for the rest of his life.

But do you know what he did? When he was twenty years old, he finally realized that self-pity would not help. He began to educate and influence the public non-stop. After fifteen years of perseverance, society finally paid attention to the rights of disabled people. Nowadays, many public facilities have There are up and down ramps for wheelchairs and special parking spaces for disabled people. Shopping malls and supermarkets also have many handrails for disabled people to move around. This is all thanks to Ed.

You must know that most people in society have sympathy, care, and love. I firmly believe that when you achieve results with tenacious perseverance, society will respect you more and there is no need to carry the burden of looking down on yourself because of some physical defects.

Inferiority is an annoying devil, and it is not difficult to abandon them. Keep following the five thinking concepts I mentioned above, and let the inferiority complex roll away as far as possible.

To break your low self-esteem, of course you need to take action. You dare not talk to strangers because you are afraid that you will not find a suitable topic; you have to choose clothes based on other people’s opinions because you are afraid of being laughed at. Your own choice; you dare not recall the past because you feel that it makes you feel inferior and makes you unable to hold your head high as a human being. Calm down and think carefully, why do you feel inferior and what are you afraid of?

Now, let’s take action! Follow the order below and complete each item carefully.

Action 1: Now, take some time to search for the most interesting memories in your mind, and record the activities that attract you the most. When your sad things come to your mind, immediately move to something that makes you happy. Happy things, that is, record the things that make you happy below.

My sweetest memories:

My favorite things to do:

Action 2: What are you least satisfied with about yourself? What do you think is the source of your inferiority complex?

Think about it for five minutes, and then write it down:

From now on, make up your mind to change the status quo. Remember: change from the source!

Say loudly to yourself every day:

No one can stop me from succeeding!

Action 3: Now I want you to go out on the street, smile at every stranger around you, and find two strangers to talk to for more than 5 minutes. So, is this action very challenging for you?

Don’t be afraid. You may find this embarrassing at first. I believe that after a few times, you will master the skills and mentality of talking to strangers.

Action 3 is very difficult. If you can succeed, I dare say you are getting further and further away from inferiority complex. My training is so cruel, but the effect is remarkable. Based on my teaching experience, I feel confident about it. You also have to believe all this and believe that inferiority is actually so vulnerable.

This day of training is really hard on your brain, but you can see the effect.

Let us read this poem to relax our brain:

Beautiful because of confidence

When the wind blows her hair

She never touches it

She doesn’t want to go against Feng’s wishes

She knows

Nothing can hide her appearance

She never hides

p>

When she grinned

Someone said: You look ugly when you smile

She didn’t mind

She knew to share her with others Happy

Every time she looks in the mirror

She shows off in front of the mirror

She doesn’t know whether there is a beautiful image in the minds of others

At least in my heart, I will always be the best

Not to mention that beauty has no rules

Once upon a time

When she opened a magazine, she would always envy beautiful beauties.

Now

She believes that one day she will be more elegant than them

You should show your charm like the girl in the poem, you should know that you You are the best person in the world. You have the desire to succeed and you have firm confidence! Your confident smile is so charming!

Very good, we have had a great start. You also need to think about and summarize the gains of this day:

Tomorrow you will have the second day of training, please do Good preparation