God, I am young, I am a young man, seventeen years old, and I have no face to live. Where can I put my face? I really have no face to live in this world.

Xiangzi met the pony's grandfather and he had an idea. Xiangzi went to Bai Zi to look for Xi 'er, only to find Xi 'er unbearable, reduced to dust, and hanged in a pine forest. Xiangzi has fallen since then.

Chapter 23

Xiangzi wandered in the street and met the pony's grandfather. The old man stopped pulling the rickshaw, and his clothes were thinner and more torn than before. He was leaning on a wicker, with a big clay pot hanging in front and a broken ingot basket hanging behind him. There are some biscuits and oil ghosts in the basket, and there is a big brick. He also knew Xiangzi.

As soon as Xiangzi opened his mouth, he knew that Ma Xiao had been dead for more than half a year. The old man dropped the broken car and put a pot of tea and some biscuits on the mouth of the car every day. The old man is still so amiable and lovely, but his waist is bent a lot, his eyes are crying in the wind, and his eyelids are red as if he had just cried.

Xiangzi drank his bowl of tea and said a few words of injustice to him.

"Do you want to be alone?" The old man commented on Xiangzi's words: "Who doesn't think so? But who mixed up again? At first, I was in good health and good mind. I've been mixing until now, and that's what I am now! Good health? Even people made of iron can't escape the tight encirclement. Good heart? What's the use! Good is rewarded with good, and evil with evil. Without these eight things! When I was young, I was really warm-hearted and took other people's affairs as my own. Is it useful? Don't! I have saved many lives, including those who jumped into the river and hanged themselves. Is there karma? Don't!

I tell you, I will freeze to death one day. I understand that it is more difficult to get along with myself than to go to heaven. What can a person have? Have you ever seen a grasshopper? I can jump far by myself, but if I teach a child to catch it and tie it with a string, I can't even fly. When you get there, fight in array, hum, and eat up the crops in the whole area in a short time. No one can cure it! Don't you think so?

I have a good heart and good eyes, and I can't even keep a little grandson. He was ill, and I had no money to give him good medicine. I watched him die in my arms! Stop it! Don't say anything Tea! Who wants a hot bowl? "

Xiangzi really understood: Mrs. Yang and Detective Sun-you can't get what you deserve because of his curse; He himself can't benefit from becoming stronger.

Self-reliance, self-reliance, the old man said, is a grasshopper tied by children with thread. What if it has wings?

He doesn't want to go to Cao Zhai at all. As soon as he goes to Cao Zhai, he has to be stronger. What's the use of being strong? Just fooling around: if you have no food, pull the car out; After a full day, take a day off and talk about it tomorrow. This is not only a way, but also the only way. Why save money and cars for others to rob? Why not be happy?

Besides, if he finds Joy, he should still work hard, not for himself or for her. Since we can't find her, it's like an old man losing his grandson. Who are you with? He also told the old man about his joy, and he regarded the old man as a true friend.

"Who drinks the hot bowl?" The old man shouted first, and then thought for Xiangzi: "According to my guess, there are two ways to go out: teaching Er to be a child or winning a bet. Hum, most of them are from Bai Zi! How can I put it? Joy is, as you just told me, it is not easy for someone to want her when she is married. My aunt's family needs a whole batch of goods. So, probably, she left Bai Zi. I'm almost sixty years old, and I've seen many things: if a sturdy rickshaw puller doesn't come to the street for a day or two, he'll look for it, not for the monthly subscription, but for climbing in Bai Zi; If our rickshaw driver's daughter-in-law suddenly disappears, there will always be 70% to 80% going there. Let's sweat, our woman meat, I know, I know! Go there and have a look. I didn't expect her to be there, but-tea! Who wants a hot bowl? ! "

Xiangzi ran outside Xizhimen.

As soon as I got out of the car, I felt empty. The trees on the roadside are sparse, and there is not even a bird on the branch. Gray trees, gray land and gray houses all stand quietly in the gray-yellow world; From this gray eyes, I saw the desolate western hills. In the north of the railway, there is a forest, and there are several low houses outside the forest. Xiangzi estimated that this was probably Bai Zi. Look at the Woods, nothing happened; Looking further north, you can see some paddy fields outside Wansheng Garden, leaving only a few broken reeds. There was no one outside the small room, and nothing happened. It was quiet far and near, and he wondered if this was the famous Bai Zi. He boldly walked to the other side of the house, and the door of the house was hung with a straw curtain. The new ones are all from Huang Cancan. He has heard people pay attention to it. In summer, all the women here sit outside with bare backs and greet pedestrians. Those who come to take care of it should sing kiln tune (2) from a distance, which shows that they are not amateurs. Why is it so quiet now? Don't you do it here in winter?

He was so suspicious that the straw curtain in the next room moved, revealing a woman's head. Xiangzi was taken aback. At first glance, the man's head looks like Tigress's. He said to himself, "Come and find happiness. If you find Tigress, you'll be damned! "

"Come in, dear fool!" That man's head is not like Tigress's; His voice is hoarse, much like the old man who often heard about wild medicine on the overpass. He is hoarse and obviously anxious.

There is nothing in the room except the woman and a small kang. There is no mat on the kang, but the kang is burning and smells terrible. There is an old quilt on the kang. The edge of the quilt is as shiny as the bricks on the kang. The woman is in her forties, with her head down and hasn't washed her face yet. She is wearing a pair of trousers with a small cotton-padded jacket made of green cloth and no buttons. Xiangzi bowed his head before going in. As soon as he entered the door, she hugged him. The button of the little cotton-padded jacket was unbuttoned, and a pair of extremely long and huge breasts were exposed on the chest.

Xiangzi sat on the edge of the kang because he couldn't stand up straight. He is eager to see her. He often hears people say that albinism has a "white flour pocket", and it must be her. "White bread" comes from her two big breasts. Xiangzi came straight to the point and asked her if she had seen Joy, but she didn't know. Xiangzi described Joy, and she remembered:

"Yes, there is such a person! Young enough to show a few white teeth, yes, we all call her Xiao Xianrou. "

"Where is she?" Xiangzi's eyes suddenly opened with a murderous look.

"She? It's over early! " "White flour pocket" pointed out, "Hanging in the Woods!"

"Why?"

"The little tender meat here has a good popularity. She can't stand it, and her figure is quite thin. One day, when I was lighting a lamp, I really remembered it because I was sitting at the door with two or three women. Alas, at this time, a guest came and ran all the way to her room; She doesn't like sitting at the door with us, and she was beaten for it when she first came. Later, she became famous, and everyone left her alone in the house. When she came to visit, she never looked for anyone else. After staying for a meal, the guests left and headed for the forest. We didn't see anything, and no one went to see her in the house. When the old fork rod (3) collected the bill from her, she saw a man lying naked and sleeping soundly in the room. He turned out to be drunk. Small tender meat stripped off the guest's clothes, put them on and ran away. She is really thoughtful. She wouldn't have run away if it hadn't been dark.

It was dark, and she disguised herself as a man again, deceiving everyone. Immediately, the old fork sent people to look around. Well, as soon as she entered the forest, she hung there. I was dead when I took it off, but my tongue didn't spit much and my face wasn't ugly. She was very likable when she died! It's been months, and there is nothing in the Woods at night. How kind of her not to scare people! ……"

Xiangzi staggered out without waiting for her to finish. When we came to a cemetery, some pine trees were planted in all directions, including more than a dozen graves. The sunshine is weak, especially in the pine forest. He sat on the ground with some hay and pine flowers on it.

There was no sound, only a few mountain magpies were crying sadly in the tree. This will never be Joey's grave, he knows, but his tears drop by drop. There is nothing left, even the joy is buried! He is strong, joy is strong, and all he has left is useless tears. She has become a foodie! Once you get a seat, you will be buried in a chaotic death box. This is the end of your life!

Back in the garage, he slept for two days. I never want to go to Cao Zhai, and I don't even need to send a message. Mr Cao Can couldn't save Xiangzi's life. After sleeping for two days, he drove the car out, and his mind was completely blank. He doesn't want anything. He doesn't want anything. He came out only because of a stomachache. When he is full, he goes to bed. What do you want? What do you want? Watching a scrawny dog waiting to eat some skins and whiskers next to the sweet potato stalk, he realized that he was just like this dog, and his daily action was only to pick up some skins and whiskers. Living is everything, don't think about anything.

Man has lifted himself from the animal nature, but so far he has expelled his own kind to the animal nature. Xiangzi is still in the city of culture, but he has become an animal.

It's not his fault at all. He stopped thinking, so even if he killed someone, he wouldn't be responsible. He lost hope and fell into a bottomless pit. He eats, he drinks, he whores, he gambles, he is lazy, he is cunning, because he has no heart, and his heart has been taken away. All he has left is that tall meat shelf, waiting to fester and prepare for the chaotic death.

Winter has passed, and the sunshine in spring is the clothes that nature gives everyone. He rolled up all his cotton-padded clothes. He should eat and drink well, don't keep his winter clothes, and don't want to see winter again. Have a happy day today and die tomorrow! Who cares if winter is winter? It's a pity that it's winter and I'm still alive. Let's talk about it. Originally, when he remembered it, he thought of it all his life; Now, he only cares about the present. Experience tells him that tomorrow is only a continuation of today, and tomorrow inherits today's grievances. He felt very happy when he bought a cotton-padded coat. What's wrong with holding cash? Why save it for the winter when a gust of wind choked him to death?

Slowly, he thinks about everything, not only clothes, but anything that is not used for the time being. He likes to watch his things turn into money and be spent by himself; If you spend it yourself, it won't fall into other people's hands. This is the safest. Put things down and leave when necessary; What if I have no money? You don't need it. It doesn't matter if you don't wash your face or brush your teeth Save money and trouble. Meet who decently? It's true that you wear rags and eat pancakes with sauce and meat in your bellies! There are good things in your stomach, even if you die, you will have oil and water, not like a starving mouse.

Xiangzi, what a decent Xiangzi, became a thin and dirty coachman. He doesn't wash his face, bathe or wash clothes, and sometimes he doesn't shave his hair for more than a month. He doesn't care about his car, whether it's a new car or a used car, as long as it's small. Pull it up, it's a little sweet, and he dumped it halfway. If the bus driver refuses, he will stare, fight and live in the police area for two days. A man is pulling a car and walking slowly. He is distressed by his sweat. As soon as he got on the bus, he ran away happily, just to leave others behind. At this time, he is also very good at finding fault, cutting across other cars, deliberately turning sharply, stroking the car behind him and grabbing the car in front. Originally, he thought that pulling a rickshaw was to save his life, and he was in danger of falling to his death if he was not careful. Now, he deliberately wants to be bad; It doesn't matter who falls to death, everyone deserves to die!

He regained his silence. If you don't tell him, he will eat, he will drink and he will break. Speech is the exchange of opinions and feelings between people. He has no opinion and no hope. Why is he talking? In addition to bargaining, he kept his mouth shut all day; The mouth seems to be specially prepared for eating, drinking tea and smoking. Even when he is drunk, he doesn't make a sound. He would sit in a secluded place and cry. Almost every time I get drunk, I cry in the Woods where Joy hangs. After crying, he stayed in the White House. When I woke up from the wine, I washed my hands and got sick. He has no regrets; If he has regrets, he regrets why he was so strong, so cautious and so honest. All the regrets are over, and there is nothing to regret now.

Now, how do you take advantage, he will do it. Smoking more cigarettes, using fake coppers, drinking more bean juice and eating pickles, and pulling a rickshaw to fight for one or two coppers all satisfied him. He took advantage and others suffered, yes, this is a kind of revenge! Slowly expanding this, he also learned to borrow money from his friends, but he still didn't want to pay it back; If you are in a hurry, he can be a hooligan. In the first grade, everyone didn't doubt him at all. Everyone knows that he is a decent man who keeps his word, so he borrows money as soon as he opens his mouth. He borrowed this remnant of his personality everywhere, picked it up for nothing, and spent it easily when he got it. When people want debts, he will make a pitiful appearance and beg for mercy; If this doesn't work, he will borrow another 20 cents, pay back 15 cents, and leave 50 cents to drink first. After a while, he couldn't even lend a penny and began to cheat money.

He visited all the houses where he used to live, whether it was the master or the servant. When I meet him, I will make up a set of lies and cheat some money. Without money, he begged for some clothes, and clothes immediately turned into money, and money immediately turned into alcohol and tobacco. He thought with his head down, bad ideas and good ideas, and he could get more money than pulling a car all day; He saved his strength, made money and felt good. He even went to Cao Zhai's Gao Ma. Waiting for Gao Ma to come out from a distance, seeing her coming out, I almost rushed there in one step and called her Gao Sao.

"ah! Scared me to death! Who am I supposed to be? Xiangzi! What's wrong with you? "

Gao Ma opened her eyes wide as if she saw a monster.

"Don't mention it!" Xiangzi bowed his head.

"You don't agree with your husband? Why don't you go back? I'm asking about you and Cheng. He said he didn't see you. Where the hell have you been? The Wangs are not at ease! "

"I was ill for a long time and almost died! You talk to your husband, help me, and come to work when I am clean! " Xiangzi told what he had already made up, which was simple and touching.

"Mr. Wang is not at home. Do you want to come in and meet his wife? "

"Don't! I am like this! Tell me about it! "

Gao Ma took out two dollars and gave it to him: "Madam gave it to you, telling you to take some medicine quickly!" " "

"yes! Thank you, madam! " Xiangzi took the money and thought about where to get it. As soon as Gao Ma turned her face, she ran across the overpass and played all day.

Slowly string all the doors at home clean, and he made a second string, which didn't work very well this time. He saw that the road could not be very long, and he had to think of another idea, an idea that was easier to make money than pulling a cart. In the past, his only hope was to pull a cart; Now, he hates pulling carts. Naturally, he can't completely cut off the relationship with the car for a while, but he won't touch the handlebar as long as he has a way to cope with three meals temporarily. His body is lazy and his ears are sharp. As soon as there was news, he ran to the front. What kind of civic group, what kind of group, he will do whatever someone pays. Three hairs is still twenty hairs, and he is willing to play flags and walk around with people all day. He thinks it's better than pulling a cart anyway, and he doesn't earn much money, but he doesn't need effort.

With a small flag hanging on his face, his head down and a cigarette in his mouth, he followed everyone Gherardini without saying a word. When he has to shout a few times, he will open his mouth and be completely silent. He cherishes his own voice. He didn't want to exert himself on anything, because it didn't do any good to exert himself before. In this flag-raising cry, if there is any danger, he will be the first to run away quickly. His life can be ruined by himself, and he will never sacrifice anything for anyone again. Those who work hard for individuals also know how to destroy individuals, which are the two ends of individualism.

The significance, skills and future of jumping.

(2) kiln tune, a popular minor in brothels.

(3) fork rod, namely prostitutes.