To senior three.

Yesterday, a classmate came to talk to me about graduation choice. After the talk, she suddenly came over and gave me a hug. I was so encouraged that I decided to write something to you. You are at a difficult stage. I want to use the following passage to try to provide you with some positive energy. Although I have been writing for a long time, I won't talk about how to apply for a school, what job to look for, and whether to apply for graduate students. What I want to say is how to dispel the panic in your heart.

First, the nature of anxiety.

Senior three is a period of anxiety. Sometimes your troubles are caused by specific problems, sometimes they are inexplicable for no reason, and sometimes they are easily influenced by the outside world. A word from others will stir up waves that are difficult to contain inside.

In my opinion, all these anxieties, fears and sensitivities can actually be summed up in three things: the finiteness of life, the uncertainty of the future and the invariance of the past. These three things are three unavoidable shadows in life. Whenever I think of them, I want to write poems.

"How can I prepare to win?" "Will I fail?" This is the uncertainty that the future knocks in your heart.

"Did I waste a year or two on this road?" "Will I make a detour?" This is the finiteness of life playing with you.

"Is my choice wrong?" "Can such a big investment finally pay off?" Be swayed by considerations of gain and loss, because there is no regret medicine.

How's it going? In fact, it is not the specific things that make you feel pain every day, but the lingering questions above.

At the beginning, I rose to the height of life to analyze, not only because of my consistent literature and art, but also because I think the following premises are very important:

If the fear you feel is caused by some unchangeable characteristics of life, then you are desperately trying to catch something. Even if you finally achieve a goal and get a temporary respite, you still can't solve your inner pain.

This is why you are suffering when you don't get the Offer, and you are suffering when you get the offer; It is extremely painful to wait until June when there is no way out. As early as September, Baoyan was also unhappy. The pain can be alleviated at most, but never solved. Those who suffer less this time may eat more next time.

Because the law of life cannot be changed, it is useless to struggle and rob outside if you want to solve your inner pain. In the end, you can only rely on your inner growth.

Second, how to break it?

If you want to fight against the ultimate big boss-in today's life-the so-called man's greatest enemy is himself. Then at my level, of course, I don't know how to break it. But I have felt the process of people's inner growth and can share it with you.

First of all, you should pay attention to your own rationality. People have a growing heart, a heart full of fear, greed and fragility. Most people's behavior seems to be driven more by emotions than by instructions from the brain. As a vulnerable group, your mind should learn to talk to your heart, understand your inner strength and driving force, and try to guide it, and gradually achieve the unity of mind.

This is a long process of growth, and some people eventually become smarter, more atmospheric, calm and firm, and can better grasp their own lives. But most people can't dominate themselves all their lives, vacillating like duckweed. This may include your parents.

But I often feel that the power of emotion is very powerful, and the role of reason is often limited at first. It is easy for you to understand the good truth, but you can't control yourself, especially when you are disturbed by the outside world. Your heart is like a small sapling. I'm afraid it can't stand the severe wind and rain when it is still weak. The external environment is so bad that even the strongest heart may be overwhelmed.

So my experience is: both inside and outside.

Third, talk to your heart.

At the stage of deep trouble, we should treat ourselves more rationally. It's okay to listen to others, or to say it yourself. In fact, a mind manipulated by emotions is stupid. If you talk too much, it will gradually believe it. That's why you should tell women that I love you more.

You can tell yourself these facts:

1, believe in fate.

I'm not saying this to tell your fortune. It means that as a college-educated person, you should understand that things are uncontrollable.

What we learned in high school, as well as our experiences from childhood to adulthood, can easily give us an idea that everything is causal. With the conditions, you can work out the answer. The world is driven by basic and concise natural laws and axioms, and everything can be predicted and explained. Study hard and generally you can get into a good university. Whether you can achieve the preset results depends on whether you can meet certain conditions, such as whether you have worked hard.

Unfortunately, due to the overall failure of our university education, the concepts formed in front have basically not been revised and challenged. If you continue to study mathematics and physics in college, you will know that all the theorems and axioms in your high school came from Newton's era in17th century. The theories of relativity, quantum theory and chaos that emerged in the 20th century show that even the nature is not so certain. Microscopically, causality is stable, but once it reaches the macro level, variables may be too complicated for people to understand or master in limited time and space.

Naturally, so is life. Some things are simpler and more controllable; Some things are complicated and out of control. Even the national examination is something that can be grasped, although there are several points. But learning this kind of thing is definitely a special case of social phenomenon. Other things you encounter in life are far less predictable than school life.

Now that you are about to enter the society, the first lesson that society will give you is the "low certainty logic" which is completely different from school study. If you want to find a good way out, you can only be as prepared as possible, but the result is chaotic. I have told you many stories around me. I'm in the same class in college, so I'd better not stay in Beijing. The one who is most like a clerk went to a foreign company, the one who didn't attend classes became a civil servant, the one who smelled of Beijing went abroad, the most academic one became a director, and the least academic one is now a teacher in a university, that is, me.

I don't want to tell you that things change, just lie down and wait for the discus to fall from the sky. One of my classmates joined the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and she always wanted to join. Another student is also a university teacher. He is really a headmaster. But these two students didn't work harder than other students at that time, and now they are not more successful than other students.

You must learn to understand and accept the contingency of life. The unknown is certainly frightening, but it is a natural reaction of your mind. Your mind can believe that everyone has a way. There are many complicated factors contributing to this road, but it must be composed of the best choice that a person can make at that time and place. So panicking in advance or not panicking won't change anything. After you go up, you can only be wonderful if you walk away.

2. No detours

The panic before stepping on the society largely comes from the illusion of "losing at the starting line".

Real life is not a competition; At least it's not a race to the same destination. This is also the logic of the national examination. It hasn't worked since I entered the university.

I've told you many stories, too. * * * was sent to the countryside to farm for seven years when he was young, and returned to the city to study at the age of 22. Hu * * * went to the northwest to build a dam after graduating from college. Both Obama and Clinton were poor boys, and finally they were admitted to an Ivy League school in the east. As a result, one went back to his hometown to do community work, and the other went back to his hometown to teach at an unknown university. According to the previous logic, they all lost at the starting line.

If you really want to be a winner in life, you can look at those who have made greater achievements. Most great people's lives are tortuous, and some of them are ups and downs. But from the back to the front, where is the detour? You have been a village party secretary, and no one else has been a village party secretary. In a few decades, you will have an advantage in running for president.

You may not want to be a great man, but you just don't want to suffer. But as I said before, there is always a path in your life, sometimes it will be curved and sometimes it will be straight. Don't just want to go straight. If you drive too fast, you won't appreciate the scenery, and it is difficult to have a broad vision and a rich mind, so you lack the potential for happiness.

In a word, all the efforts will not be in vain. Work hard anywhere.

I will decide for myself.

At this time of senior three, you'd better cheer yourself up every day: I'm in charge of everything.

I don't know what kind of parents you will have, but they will probably be angry. Some people are usually very open-minded. At this time, an occasional sentence or two that is not sensible will make you feel meaningless.

Seven aunts will call. I will always ask questions when I go home on holiday. Buddies, girlfriends, girlfriends and so on have made suggestions. Students here and there, you try to get inspiration from every rumor.

In the end, you received a lot of information and asked a lot of advice, but you lost yourself.

In fact, only you know your business best, and no one else can.

Starting today, you should stand on your own feet. You want others to help you, but you are actually afraid of taking full responsibility for possible failure. But who can be responsible for your future?

True self-confidence begins with responsibility; True freedom also begins with taking responsibility.

Fourth, change the external environment.

In addition to often talking with your heart, you should also try to create a good external environment for this dialogue, close to the sun and rain, away from the wind and rain.

1, leave me alone

I seem to be trying to sow discord between you and your parents. Actually, I mean, at this age, you must start to rebuild your relationship with your parents.

At this special stage, your parents are most concerned about your future; They are often the people who affect your mood the most.

You need the care of your parents. But if they are driven by emotions like you and lack firmness and rationality, then constant concern is only a relief after the emotional attack. Then you must tell them clearly: please restrain your panic and send me more positive energy.

Parents' advice may be useful. But most of them are of little use. If you live in an agricultural age, you basically just need to do what your parents say, because there is not much difference between your two generations. But now, how do your parents in other places know about Beijing? How can you know about America?

If you want to communicate, please ask your parents to share some life feelings with you, not specific suggestions.

Similarly, stay away from negative energy unless you can encourage each other. Stay away from the environment that disturbs your inner peace and reserve space for inner dialogue.

If possible, try to give people around you some positive energy. If you are sure you know what positive energy is.

2. Don't delay

At this time, you are all preparing all kinds of things. No matter what you are pursuing, you should make a good plan and live a regular life, and don't procrastinate on what you should do.

When you are more and more afraid, it is often when you have something to do but you haven't done it. That incident made a loud irony in your heart, which made you more anxious and insecure.

If you make progress step by step, your perceptual mind will be tamed a lot, and it will listen to the truth patiently.

3. Realize a small wish

A young soul, the spring that needs irrigation most, is self-confidence. Do something that will boost your self-confidence.

These things may be small, but in the short term, we can see the effect, make progress, or get results. If you get rid of unnecessary anxiety, you actually have a lot of time to do these things.

Take a short trip. A person plans, travels, finishes, and feels grown up when he comes back.

Read some books and tell them to people who haven't read them. That man had better not be a senior.

Practice a sport and see your progress.

Do whatever you want and can with relatively simple efforts.

Verb (short for verb) I hope it's useful.

It took me two days to conceive and a whole day to write these words, and I also spent many times of courage to stick to it. On the one hand, I am reluctant to preach, although I often preach. What I tell you is actually a form of dialogue between myself and my heart, so I am extremely sincere. You call me a life mentor, but I also need guidance in my life. At present, only conservative self-treatment can be carried out.

Some stages of life are insurmountable, and some pains must be experienced. The people inside are hard to get rid of. It seems easy for commentators to often stand and talk. For example, if an old comrade says to me now, "You young people should not be anxious about not being able to buy a house, get a car number or save money every month. These are illusory. " On the one hand, I think what he said is reasonable, on the other hand, there is a powerful voice shouting, "Give me yours." .

A lot of truth can only be truly understood if it is passed on and turned around. The speech I gave at the graduation ceremony last semester was published and reprinted by many media in the society, and I received a bunch of various bills alone. However, students at school feel separated by a layer. They found a new way to hack me. Once, whenever I asked why, they would say because we came from the top of the mountain.

So, when I ask why, you can say, "Please talk to your heart first."

What I'm thinking now is that I hope you won't waste your time in the next year. This is the best year of your life. It is not for transition, waiting or sacrifice. This year has just begun.

Come on, senior!