When having sex, I regard my husband as my ex-boyfriend.

Oral: I regard my husband as my ex-boyfriend as soon as I have sex.

Reading Tip: My husband and I have a good relationship after marriage, but our sex life has been relatively dull, with few orgasms, until once I fantasized that he was my ex-boyfriend when I was having sex with my husband. Strangely, I reached the climax soon.

Netizen: Xiaojun Gender: Female Age: 28 years old

Netizen confided:

My husband and I have a good relationship after marriage, but our sex life has been relatively dull, with few orgasms, until I imagined him as my ex-boyfriend when I had sex with my husband. Strangely, I reached the climax soon.

After that, I fantasize about being with my ex-boyfriend every time I have sex, and I am very satisfied almost every time; If I don't think so, I will feel that my husband and I have a dull sex life.

I feel guilty, but I can't help myself. What should I do?

Teacher Cui replied:

Hello, Jun! Many people have had sexual fantasies in sexual life, and the objects of fantasy are often stars, early lovers or friends in life. This situation is more common in women, mainly because women's sexual excitement appears later than men's. Through sexual fantasy, we can mobilize her emotions, stimulate her sexual desire and make her enter a state of sexual excitement.

As long as this kind of sexual fantasy does not bring adverse effects, there is no need to pursue it excessively and there is no need to worry about it. Want to stop this fantasy, the best way is to rely on the running-in and communication between husband and wife, extend the sexual foreplay time, and start sexual excitement through normal channels. But there is no need to expose this sexual fantasy that is not easy to be understood by your spouse, otherwise it will often be counterproductive.

Sharing: sexual fantasies have "multiple functions"

Medical scientists have found that sexual fantasies are mainly due to infatuation with the opposite sex. In the development of youth, we often worship and fantasize about idols that we don't know about ourselves at all, and weave our dreams by watching posters of idols every day. You may think that these "sexual fantasies" are evil and immoral, but these sexual fantasies sometimes help us. Men or women who are active and happy in sexual life often have rich fantasy experiences. From a more positive point of view, sexual fantasies have "multiple functions", which are roughly as follows:

serviceability

Sexual fantasy is a normal mechanism to start sexual excitement, which helps to maintain sexual excitement and obtain sexual pleasure. Sexual fantasy itself is the source of pleasure. The main function of sexual fantasy in sex is to encourage sexual excitement, improve interest and desire in sex, and help us reach orgasm as soon as possible. No wonder many people often use fantasy to increase their sexual desire and promote their performance during sex in order to reach orgasm.

Can relieve anxiety

Fantasy can also relieve stress and tension, help us cope with emotional stress, relieve the biggest obstacle anxiety that prevents us from getting satisfaction in time, promote sexual function, and even compensate for the original bad experience.

Can preview in advance

Sexual fantasies let people preview the possibility of a one-time experience in their minds. Imagine seductive eyes, lingering kisses, brand-new sexy love, etc. It may make people try fun with a more comfortable attitude.

Can enrich sexual life

Sexual fantasies allow those "forbidden wishes" to be presented in a tolerated way. Through sexual fantasies, you can enrich your sex life without worrying about any side effects or paying unnecessary fees.

dereism

Sexual fantasies help to eliminate expectations of stereotyped gender roles. To liberate people from excessive sense of responsibility and guilt, the beauty of fantasy lies in that it can be free from the limitations of time and space, not afraid of being peeped by others, so that we can temporarily surpass reality, and at the same time, fantasy can strengthen our self-worth and let us focus on our own advantages.

Leakable pressure

Sexual fantasy is a substitute for sexual behavior, which provides spiritual satisfaction of sexual desire that can not be realized temporarily in real life. Psychologists emphasize that as far as psychology is concerned, because people can't get 100% satisfaction in life, they put things that they dare not or are not easy to act into fantasy. This is a very normal psychological phenomenon. Therefore, as long as you understand that fantasy belongs to fantasy and reality belongs to reality, and you have the ability to avoid letting fantasy affect real life, then people with sexual fantasies don't have to feel guilty.

Treat sexual dysfunction

Sex therapists have long acknowledged that fantasy can effectively promote women's performance during sex, and they often suggest using fantasy to stimulate reactions. For those couples who suffer from functional orgasm disorder (especially female patients), situational orgasm disorder and are tired of sex life, sexual fantasy has positive therapeutic significance and can make sex life more satisfactory.

treat a disease

Czech medical scientists have suggested that sex is an effective way to treat many diseases. For example, sex can have a positive impact on diseases of joints, blood vessels, heart and stomach, and even headaches can be turned to their sexual partners. The reason is simple: the changes of hormones in the body during sexual life help to relieve pain.