Phrase: People will meet 29.2 million people in their lifetime, and the probability of two people falling in love is 0.000049.

1. Everything should be quiet, come quietly, go quietly, work quietly, harvest quietly, and avoid making noise.

2. Life is a long period of self-entertainment.

3. Some people just miss and don't contact; Just pay attention and don't bother.

The harder you try to please a person, the more likely that person will make you feel pain. Expectation is the root of all heartache, and if the heart is still, it will not hurt.

People will meet 29.2 million people in their lifetime, and the probability of two people falling in love is 0.000049. Don't give up easily if you can meet them.

6. People who like you will accompany you now; People who love you will give you the future. The person who can accompany you for a lifetime is: know your past, believe in your future and tolerate your present.

7. Time is changing and people are changing. Life is an out-of-print movie that cannot be replayed. No matter how hard you try, some things can't go back.

8. The day you like is the most beautiful day; The right lifestyle is the best lifestyle.

9. If you want to see the truth clearly, you need some pain. You have to understand that you can't keep those who are leaving, you can't wake those who pretend to sleep, and you can't touch those who don't love you.

10. Be nice to yourself, because life is not long; Be kind to the people around you, because you may not meet them in the next life.

1 1. The best thing is: you are joking, he is laughing, and he has been so happy all his life.

12. I believe there are some people I never have to wait for, so I understand why I cry when the lights are dim.

13. Love is strange, caring about everything and finally forgiving everything, just like Tagore said: eyes are raining for her, but the heart is holding an umbrella for her.

14. I think one of the greatest braveness in life is to keep trust and love after being cheated and hurt.

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It is better to be chased by ten thousand people than to be injured by one person; One person knows better than ten thousand people.

It is better to be chased by ten thousand people than to be injured by one person; One person knows better than ten thousand people.

1, wine, don't drink or get drunk; People, not tired and not sleeping; Heart, not injured or broken; Love, not learning. It is better to be chased by ten thousand people than to be injured by one person; One person knows better than ten thousand people. No one is right or wrong about emotional things, only people who don't understand; No one can't live without who, only who will cherish who.

2, people don't have to be beautiful, as long as someone loves them deeply; People don't have to be too rich, just live a warm life. Learning to be content and learning to be indifferent is happiness! If there is someone in your life who loves, understands, tolerates and cares about you, you are the happiest person.

The saddest thing is to meet a special person and realize that we can never be together and we have to give up sooner or later.

Some roads are far away, and it will be very tiring to walk on. However, if you don't leave, you will regret it.

5. Friends are not people who come first, nor people who have known each other for the longest time, but people who never leave after coming.

When I can't see you, I miss you so much that I feel lost. Look, a thousand words, but keep silent. It turns out that the agility that is not light and far away has been hidden in each other's hearts.

7. A woman's face doesn't look closely, and a man's heart doesn't look closely. Some people are close at hand, but their hearts are far away.

8, don't care too much about some people, if someone asks, say forget. No explanation, no sadness.

9. True love is not a momentary affection, but an impulse to persist knowing that there is no result.

10, the road ahead is still far, you may cry, but you must go on and never stop.

1 1, don't wait for me to change before you say you miss me.

12, one day, someone will come into your life and let you know why you have no results with others.

13, some roads can only be taken by one person, and only one person knows the hardships on the road.

14, in fact, nothing can't be let go. As time goes by, when you look back on the past, you will find that what you thought you couldn't let go was just a springboard in your life, allowing you to grow.

15, a strong heart, often defeated by a simple comfort, and then burst into tears.

16, don't give up when you think you can fight. Waiting is sad, but regret is even sadder.

17, when you are in a bad mood, close your eyes and tell yourself that this is an illusion.

18, the funny thing is that we pretend to be psychologists in front of our friends, but we can't even solve our own problems.

19, crying at yourself and laughing at others, this is the so-called life.

20. Even if you are unhappy, you will never disturb the happiness of others. This is the principle.

2 1, if you realize how important you are in people's hearts, you will be much happier.

22. When you are young, happiness is a thing. If you have it, you will be happy. When you grow up, happiness is a goal, and when you reach it, you will be happy; When you are mature, you find that happiness is a state of mind. When you understand it, you will be happy.

23. I think there are always some reasons why people are separated, but some people have to wait.

24. In fact, you will never meet a few people who are really nice to you in your life.

25. The best friend is the most ruthless one who teases each other at ordinary times, but the softest one when you need it.

26. Sometimes, you choose to let go, not because you can't persist, but because you find that some things are doomed to be impossible.

27. In fact, there are not so many ifs in this world. Sometimes, what we lose in an instant is eternity.

28. A good life means not dreaming, doing more, getting less, smiling often and being content.

29. Sometimes it's not that I don't trust you, but that I care more than others and am more afraid of losing you.

30, some things, not don't care, but care about how. There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results. Maturity is to face all the little things with a smile.

3 1, many times, people respect not people, but the background.

32. Many people love someone by mistake because they are lonely, and more people are lonely all their lives because they love someone by mistake.

33. Dealing with a hypocritical person is not to scold him for exposing him, but to let him continue his pathetic hypocrisy and then pretend that he knows nothing. Then slowly, many people will take the initiative to tell you how hypocritical he is.

34. Dealing with selfish people is not to hate him or ignore him, but to gradually get away from him, from the bottom of my heart, and then pretend that I don't know anything. If he goes to find someone else, then you will find that many people are far away from him.

35. There will never be anyone you can't live without. Just because you can't live without now doesn't mean you can't live without forever. There is nothing you can't give up. If you don't give up, you may give up first.

36. Except for parents, no one does not ask for something in return. Lovers treat you well on the premise of love and harmony, while friends treat you well on the premise of common interests and eliminating loneliness.

37. Although it is difficult to live alone, you must learn to be alone and don't rely on others easily. This is to prevent you from doing well when everyone around you is leaving.

38. Pay attention to yourself when you are sick, and don't wait for anyone to pay attention to you. By that time, you will find that you are already very uncomfortable both physically and psychologically.

39. Learn patience. There is nothing you can't stand. No matter how wrong others are, you don't need to punish yourself with other people's mistakes.

40. You can believe everything others tell you, no matter what the original intention is, but you can't believe it all. However, when others say it, try to listen carefully and respond seriously. This is respect for people.

4 1, don't be sentimental about people easily, even if it is really sentimental. Others may not understand your sentimentality and have no obligation or responsibility. In this case, you want to vent to bring shame and deepen your pain.

42. In any case, if you can't play with others, the player will be played. No matter how considerate you are, you are not the best one.

43. Let bygones be bygones and let go.

44. Even if you lose everything, don't lose your smile.

45. Life has no end, and reality is always the starting point. Never give up, no matter when or where. Only by maintaining a struggling attitude can we prove the existence of life.

46. Cats like to eat fish, but cats can't swim. Fish like to eat earthworms, but they can't go ashore. God has given you many temptations, but he won't let you get them easily. However, you can't cry when you are bleeding, turn on the light when you are afraid of the dark, contact when you miss, be empty when you are tired, please when you are isolated, and miss home when you are weak. ...

47. Road, when you can't get through, choose to bypass; Heart, when unhappy, choose to bow; Love, when drifting away, choose at will. Some things will pass after a while; Some people, with a hard blow, forget; Some bitter, smile, and it will melt; If you have the heart, you will be strong when you are injured.

48. Today's big things will become small things tomorrow; The biggest thing this year, next year is a story; The biggest thing in this life, the afterlife will be a legend. We are people with stories at best. Therefore, when there are problems in our life and work, say to ourselves: Today will pass, tomorrow will come, a new day will begin, and let go of everything.

49. Life is like a dandelion. It seems to be free, but it can't help itself. Some things, not care, but care. There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results. Fate is only in your own hands, and others can't control it. Maturity means smiling at everything.

50. There is no incurable pain, no endless sinking, and everything lost will come back in another way. People can change. They can keep a constant promise, but they can't keep a fickle heart. Sometimes, persistence is a burden, and giving up is a relief. No one is perfect, and happiness is not 100%. Why ask for so much when you know you can't have so much at once?

Double humor joke

Humorous jokes of two people (hot articles)

1. After dinner, my father became addicted to smoking. He stole it at the door when my mother was washing the dishes. Maybe he is too forgetful. He came in the door before the last bite was finished, just as my mother saw my mother: What are you doing? Dad: I didn't smoke! ! ! Mom: Then what are you throwing up? Dad: Floating clouds.

My daughter-in-law and I go to the bank to remit money. She will fill out the form first, and I will stop the car. When I stopped, I went back to the bank. When I saw my daughter-in-law's money leaking out of her pocket, I wanted to play a prank and pretend to steal it to scare her. As soon as I reached out, I was kicked 3 meters away by the security guard. ...

3. Bin Laden died on May 1 day, and Jobs died on May 1 1 month1/day. After that, China people took a long vacation, and world celebrities panicked.

Cats and pigs are good friends. One day, the cat fell into the hole and the pig brought the rope. The cat told the pig to throw down the rope, so it threw down the whole bundle. The cat was very depressed and said, how can I pull it up if I throw it down like this? The pig said, what else can we do? The cat said, you have to hold the rope! As a result, the pig jumped down with another rope and said, it's okay now! The cat cried.

5. China special train couplets: Part I: beer, drinks and mineral water; Bottom line: peanut and melon seeds eight-treasure porridge; Horizontal batch: Sorry, sorry! ! (@ Triumph at Midnight)

6. 1 pan = 1000 yuan/square meter It is said that General Pan played a new unit with humor: Pan. Dedicated to real estate prices, 1 pan = 1000 yuan /m2.

7. The family hired a new nanny. In the evening, the host told the nanny: Remember, my mother and I have breakfast at seven every morning. You have to ask the nanny to nod and say, Oh, I see, you eat first, don't wait for me, I won't get up until eight o'clock.

I woke up yesterday. . . IpHONE5 is gone. . . I woke up today. . Jobs is gone. . . Wake up tomorrow, the National Day holiday is gone. . . (@ Paris hipster)

9. The priest asked his parishioners: What do you want others to say when you are lying in the coffin? One person said: I hope others will say that I am a family-oriented person. Another person said: I hope others will say that I am helpful. The third person said: I hope others will say: Look, he seems to be moving!

10. In the morning, the mother came into the room to wake up her son: it's time for him to go to school! Why? Mom! I don't want to go ~ give two reasons why you don't want to go. The children don't like me and the teacher doesn't like me. So ... there's no reason not to go to school anyway Mom! You give me two reasons why I have to go to school! All right! First, you are 52 years old! Second, you are the principal. ......

Humorous jokes of two people (classic)

1. Just seven days is far from enough to express my love for my motherland! ! ! Request an extension!

2. In the examination room, classmate A winked at classmate B next to him because he couldn't do multiple-choice questions. After thinking for a while, classmate B pointed to the female classmate in front. . Classmate A immediately wrote a B on the paper. .....

I finally know why Jobs resigned. He must be thinking that I won't launch such a stupid thing!

4. Now, if Al-Qaida recalls the attack on the United States, it will be filled with remorse. If they had known, they would have easily bought America by waiting 10 years. (@ UK Netizen)

When I was a member of QQ, I got the function of a group. I think this should be the same as grouping, which is convenient for managing friends, so I built a mm group and added all the mm with good relationship, ambiguity and logo. Then I was miserable.

6. In the early morning of June 5th, Beijing time, 10, Apple released a new generation of iphone——iphone 4S, instead of the legendary iphone 5. It can be seen that many people's disappointment lies in: don't talk to me about technology, there is no new appearance, what can I do to force it! ! ! (@ Mu Rongaoao)

7. Someone was late for the meeting this afternoon, and the leader looked gloomy: What time is it? A: More than 2,300. Leader: I asked you when! A: At closing time. The leader said: Who made you late? A: China is safe, but China is not. The leader reached out a finger in a hurry: get out! I can't get out. China has fallen safely. . . . (@ Su Yu)

8. A boy asked a girl he liked to go up the mountain to watch the night scene, which was brightly lit and beautiful. Then a cool breeze blew, and the boy bowed his head and asked, Is it cold? The girl thought he was really considerate and replied with a smile: not cold, thank you! The boy said, can you help me take off my coat? I am so cold.

9. At the party, men talked about how to offend their wives. Finally, there are several old methods: kneeling on the washboard, kneeling on the keyboard and kneeling on the motherboard. A buddy bragged that his wife loved her, and he certainly wouldn't kneel like that. Everyone coaxed him to call his wife and repeated his choice. His wife said: how painful it is to kneel, how can you be so bad! We asked: Why are you kneeling? His wife was silent for a long time: kneel down and eat instant noodles, don't drop slag!

10. One day I went to an antique shop Taobao, and the owner saw that I was a wooden stick. So, a chat god knocked me out, and I said, just look around, it's all genuine! . I slowly turned to a pile of bronzes and suddenly saw a bust of Chairman Mao, which was old in style but full of momentum. I held it in my hand and played with it, only to find that there was money under the bronze statue seat. It says the imperial system during the Qianlong period.

Humorous jokes of two people (selected works)

1.2023, Putin and Medvedev are in a cafe. Putin said: I am old, and now I can't remember who is the president. Medvedev: Now you are! Putin: Oh! Then you should pour me a cup of coffee! Medvedev: Well, turn around and mutter: Forget it, I poured it for you when I was president (@ Guevara).

2. According to netizens, the bride price of Nana Jason's wedding is 37 million yuan. He Jiong10.7 million, Nicky Wu 3 million, Orfila 200,000, Du Haitao 200,000, Wang Han10.5 million, A Duo 660,000, yang shen10.2 million, Zhao Benshan 6 million, Yu entai 800,000, Chen Wei 500,000 and Wang Lixin/kloc-0.

3. Hey, man! Help me collect my clothes at night? If you don't accept it, come back and accept it yourself. Your uncle! Back to the dormitory at night, the clothes are already in the closet. Help me bring your sister dinner, don't ouch, will you? Before I left, I turned around and asked impatiently, What dare you yell at your girlfriend? Does she still cook for you? Summary: Being a good gay friends is a lifelong thing. (@ We like to tell one-liners)

I went out on business this morning and passed a stall with a key. I heard a MM ask the boss: Boss, can I have a key? The boss replied: Yes. Then, MM stood in front of the booth, and the boss looked at her. After a long silence, the boss couldn't help saying, where are the keys? Keys? Why should I come to you when I have the key? Boss: ........

In Chinese class, the teacher asked Xiaohua to make sentences with the Great Wall. Xiaohua replied: The Great Wall is very long. The teacher is unhappy: no, create another one! Xiaohua said: No, I'm not Qin Shihuang!

6. A classmate's state: I ate bad belly paper two days ago, and there was a thunderstorm in the chrysanthemum area.

7. Girl: Let's break up. Boy: Why? Girl: Android is easy to brush. I learned. Boy: But you can only brush Android Native. Girl: Boy: Didn't you know that Android phones can also brush Wp7 and iOS? Girl: Shit, I stopped talking.

8. Today's work is relatively easy. When passing by the front desk MM, MM said: You are so idle! I smiled and asked her: You lick me! MM has a messy face.

9. A confident woman is not necessarily beautiful, such as Xifeng. Powerful women are not necessarily attractive, such as extinct teachers.

10. How did the Changsha Municipal Government hold a meeting? Changsha leaders held a meeting, and the director of Xiangxiang Office called the roll: typical pig (telecommunications bureau)? ; A: Yes! A little pig (post office)? ; To! Call a pig (Education Bureau)? ; To! People are pigs (personnel bureau)? ; To! Mom is a pig (grain bureau)? ; To! Fighting pig (Land Bureau)? ; To! Old fighting pig (labor bureau)? ; To! Legging pig (Land and Resources Bureau)? ; To! Sleeping pig (local taxation bureau)? ; To! Sleeping pig (IRS)? ; To! My whole pig (Security Bureau)? ; To! Sleeping pig (Civil Affairs Bureau)? ; To! Call the pain pig (Transportation Bureau)? ; To! Steady punishment of pigs (Cultural Bureau)? ; To! Deaf pig [Agriculture Bureau]? ; To! Moderator: The pigs are all here. Now fly!

Personality is praised by thousands of people, and talking about space is praised by thousands of people.

1. softhearted, sorry, it will really kill you. 2. Injury is your own good, pain is your own pain, and the clouds are light and the wind is light. Sleeping in the arms of the person you like won't stay up late. Don't be sad, you know, no matter what you go through, you are growing. It doesn't matter, I like my bad. 6. It's like drinking between us. I'll drink it. Help yourself. 7. Big brother has no feelings, and big brother is cool. 8. When you are upset, don't talk, don't make decisions, stay quietly for a while, and when you grow up, you must always learn to digest these difficult emotions by yourself. 9. The only thing you can get easily is probably your weight. 10. Don't tell me you're sorry. This word is too uncomfortable. It can set off your nobility and show my narrowness. I don't like it, you can understand. 1 1. Don't ask about the scenery that has passed. When you choose one road, the scenery of the other road has nothing to do with you. 12. You cured your melodramatic illness, put away blx, cured your depression, sang Long song and cried, and then moved on. You used to be a woman who touched peas under ten quilts. Now you quietly put down the sand in your eyes, from tolerance to understanding, from acceptance to release, from sympathy to pity. He plays tricks in the game, and you are in life. 13. You don't have to stab someone, but you must have a thorn. 14. Some relationships are broken, let them be broken, get together well, and each has its place. 15. As for friendship, I always believe that time is a good thing. After a long time, people can see clearly and expose their true colors. Don't be carried away by a moment's rhetoric. You never know if there is a knife hidden behind someone else's smiling face. Just stick a knife in your face until the end and accompany you through the ups and downs. 16. Be worthy of your own heart, others, don't look back, and move forward without hesitation. 17. At a confused age, nothing is satisfactory. 18. I'm afraid we'll become strangers in the future and we won't even say a word. 19. Living day after day is neither very happy nor very sad. 20. Don't be too blx. Don't let others feel that they have done something wrong just because they didn't reply to a message. Don't be told they hate themselves. Blx, if you think too much, everything is in the right place. Why are you so tired?