Why are some colleagues unwilling to help you at work?

Personal growth sharing. I will accompany you when you grow up.

As a colleague, why do you want to help others instead of you?

First of all, we need to reflect on why others are unwilling to help you, and under what circumstances, they have helped others.

As mentioned in "Seven Overlords" last week, "Xia" is called "Xia" because they take on responsibilities that ordinary people can't bear and give courage that ordinary people can't give. Just like colleagues, we actually need some courage when we help anyone. Helping others is generally based on a basic condition and a value condition. The basic condition is that you will be willing to help you without fundamentally damaging your own interests; Another, the value condition is whether it is worth helping you.

Secondly, in the face of this situation, you should learn to put yourself in the other's shoes. Respect the feelings of others, go deep into their subjective world and understand their feelings. Find out whether others have spare energy to help you and whether they have helped you, so as to eliminate the sense of alienation between people. Even though the method of love may need sweet words, I have to say that sweet words are more acceptable and willing to help you.

In short, in essence, if you want to do a good job and get help from others, unless this person's essence is chivalrous spirit without asking for anything in return, in other cases, you need to give yourself first, and * * * emotion, value and language are all essential in this link.

situation

When I first arrived in Shenzhen, I didn't have a fixed job and a stable source of income for a while. In order to alleviate the economic tension, I went to promote beer for a period of time. Her beer brand had just entered the Shenzhen market at that time, and there was no foothold, so guests would not take the initiative to order food. She didn't even sell a bottle of beer three days ago. Although the beer was not sold, the three-day observation was still very subtle.

When guests order beer, except for a few guests with fixed preferences, they usually ask the foreman for advice and ask the foreman which beer is delicious or popular. The general foreman's advice will be listened to by the guests. In the face of numerous promoters flocking to make a choice, the guest will throw his choice to the waiter who is serving him. In this case, if you can use the help of the foreman and waiter, then you are one step closer to success.

On the fourth day, when everyone else was resting, she arrived two hours early and presented her mango to the foreman and waiters in all the restaurants. Such a seemingly insignificant little gesture has won everyone's heart. When the guest needs the recommendation of the staff again, as long as the presence is brushed, everyone will immediately think of her and introduce her brand. Because of her small gifts from time to time, many people are willing to take the initiative to help her, and she has earned a lot of income.

From the above story, we can easily see that when others help you and get the corresponding benefits, others will naturally choose to help you in a limited way. When other people's efforts are valuable, the probability of actively helping you will increase relatively. Similarly, if others help you, you can get other income, which is also a kind of income. Help at work, more emphasis on equivalent exchange. If others don't want to help you, you can reflect on whether you have given the other party the equivalent benefits, instead of just thinking about reaping the rewards.

The communication between people is nothing more than affection or interests. To make others willing to help you, they must owe you feelings or benefits. There are three ways to achieve these two points:

1. You are strong enough to be useful or appreciated.

Powerful people are always easy to meet noble people, even if they don't say it, some people are willing to help, which is particularly obvious in the venture capital world. Why are many serial entrepreneurs more likely to get the favor of capital? Even before the prototype of the product was made, there were great people who were willing to hold the door for millions and try to be angel investors, because investors knew that he was successful in continuous entrepreneurship and had entrepreneurial genes. If you cooperate with him, the probability of success is 100 times and 1000 times higher than that of the first-time entrepreneur, which is profitable. Why not take the initiative to cooperate with him?

Sometimes even if you are not strong enough, others can see your potential and are willing to help. For example, I know some good writing business cooperation opportunities, and I am willing to actively recommend them to people I know who have strong writing skills and are self-motivated.

2. Always take the initiative to help others and make yourself a creditor of others.

When you are not strong enough, you can help others anytime and anywhere, and you can also get the opportunity for others to help you willingly. It is with this mentality that the author of the best-selling book "Endeavour" in Japanese publishing industry got many opportunities for cooperation from celebrities when he was young. He will read every book and article of the author to be co-authored, write down their thoughts after reading it, and give them some suggestions from the perspective of a publisher; At first, others turned a deaf ear to his letter, but he will always insist. When there are more than 20 letters, others will feel uneasy and will reply to him, providing opportunities for face-to-face interviews. Later, even if there was no chance to cooperate for a while, he would chat with these people when they were bored and drink with them when they were in a bad mood, so that when the amount of writing was particularly large at last, the first partner he thought of was him.

Communication between people is a debt of gratitude. If you take the initiative to help others, it may be just a little effort, or it may be a very easy and common thing, but it is also kept in the mutual communication account, so that others can become your creditors. When you need other people's help, naturally someone will reciprocate and do everything possible to help you realize it. Just like we usually like it in the circle of friends, if the other person is a person who often interacts with you, even if he doesn't talk, you will take the initiative to help him like it when you see the news from the circle of friends.

3, can be mutually beneficial with others, so that you have the same interests and hobbies.

We are usually ashamed to talk about interests when communicating, but in fact, the mutual benefit of interests can make the relationship between the two sides last longer. When you ask others for help, what kind of benefits can you provide to others and what kind of return can you give?

I know a friend in sales. He often asks his friends to help him introduce customers and say that he will give you a commission. At first, everyone thought he was just being polite, but soon a friend received a large transfer from him, saying that the introduced customer had agreed to return it to him; Later, as long as the customer places a new order, this friend will receive the corresponding commission. This matter spread in the circle of friends, and everyone was willing to help him introduce customers. His performance has gone up, and others have gained extra income, achieving a win-win situation.

There is a saying in China, reciprocity is like this in interpersonal communication. If you want to get help from others, help them first. If you want to get help from others, let others get a corresponding reward. Only in this way can interpersonal relationships maintain a benign balance and achieve sustainable development.