Grandpa, I will send you the last journey in words.

Time flies, and time waits for no man! There are many times when many ideas cannot be properly expressed in words. For example, at the moment, I want to write about my lonely grandfather with my superficial pen and ink, only to find that my heart is empty and my pen is pale and dim. Talk too much and you can't find a breakthrough. Every time I pick up a pen, I put it aside for a long time and can't calm down.

But I always want to leave a little record for my grandfather to comfort my inner guilt, so I spent a long time conceiving, brewing, writing and revising this short and shallow text, and every word and line was filled with memories and tears.

Grandpa has a good carpentry skill. He was a famous carpenter in the village when he was young. Now a lot of furniture at home is planed by grandpa himself. There are no wooden window sills, carved bed edges, bamboo sofas and solid benches, all of which are wonderful. Even in modern times, it is not inferior to those exquisite furniture with modern flavor. The old house where I live now was also carefully designed and built by my grandfather. It is spacious, bright, airy and comfortable. Grandpa, like a great and hardworking architect, has accumulated family business for my father and uncles and brought great glory to himself.

Grandpa is 89 years old. He has three children and a daughter. My only daughter, my sister-in-law, is smart, capable, beautiful and generous. After getting married as an adult, she is very competitive with her husband. They started from scratch and saved a lot of money. At the same time, they support grandpa with their children's hearts. Grandpa is happy and happy with his sister-in-law. However, my sister-in-law's life is thin, and she has no happiness to enjoy. When she was less than 30 years old, her fresh life came to an abrupt end because of a serious illness. My sister-in-law died young, which was a great blow to my grandfather. He seems to have aged ten years overnight, and he looks so lonely and thin. However, my grandfather is very strong. After the pain of white-haired people sending black-haired people, my grandfather is still alive and straight, without complaint.

After my sister-in-law left, grandpa had three sons, including my father. My father is the youngest son, and there are two brothers in the world. Grandma died early, and grandpa walked alone for nearly 50 years. Since grandma died, grandpa has not married again for some reason. Grandpa, a big man, dragged four children until the children became home. Grandpa stopped farming and assigned the fields to his own name.

The relationship between father and grandfather has never been very good, because only the father has given birth to two daughters in a row, the last child is a son, and grandpa is a son who prefers boys to girls. Until today, my father can't let go of my grandfather's rejection and indifference to my sister and me.

According to my father, my grandfather doesn't love me. At that time, I was only half a year away from the birth of Bo Er's second son. I'm my sister and he's my brother. However, I am much smarter and more sensible than my cousin. However, I still didn't please grandpa. It is said that once, my cousin and I were playing at menstruation's house, and she gave us each an orange. Both of them were young and couldn't get rid of the orange peel, so my cousin ate the pulp together and his teeth were cracked. I am different. I found a small stick. First, I peel the orange a little, and then I peel it slowly before eating.

Everyone praised me for being smart, but my grandfather said with a straight face, "What's the use of being smart again?" I am not a loser, but sooner or later it will be someone else's. " A married woman can't get back the spilled water. "

This happened to be heard by parents who came back from farm work. Since then, my parents have had a knot in their hearts. For nearly 30 years, there is no way to get rid of it.

Last side

20 1 1 during the national day holiday, I went home with my husband to visit relatives and saw that my grandfather was old. How much passion and happiness have I lost in the past 90 years. Now, my grandfather is thin and lonely, and he can't hear anything in his ears. It turns out that once he is old, it is a terrible and desolate thing.

The four-year-old daughter is kind and lovely. Although this grandfather seems to be dying, many daughters like him. On the first day of my return to China, I said to my daughter, "Baby, this is my grandfather who watched my mother grow up. You have to respect grandpa, you know? "

The daughter nodded inexplicably, and the child was the most innocent. Every morning when I get up, Xiao Duoduo takes my hand and knocks on grandpa's door to see if he has got up. Then, he quietly moved a small stool, sat quietly and watched grandpa cook.

My daughter is my favorite, and my grandfather is my closest relative. That day, I sat on the bench at the door with my daughter in my arms. Grandpa came slowly, trembling and took out ten dollars from his pocket and forced it into his daughter's hand. I looked into Grandpa's muddy eyes and said loudly, "Grandpa, Bao Xiao doesn't need it. Please keep it for yourself. "

Grandpa's hearing is not good enough, and he doesn't speak loudly. He can't hear at all. So when I talk to grandpa, I try to raise my voice, for fear that grandpa will think that I dislike him and ignore him. In fact, in my heart, grandpa is always worthy of respect.

Grandpa didn't insist any more. He slowly got back the money for Bao Xiao, turned around and walked slowly back to his house. At that moment, I looked at my grandfather dying, and my heart was really sad. It turns out that getting old is really a very sad thing.

I stayed at home for two days on National Day. Every noon, I ask my mother to cook a meal for my grandfather. At that time, my grandfather could still eat some. Nearly 90 years old, my grandfather's life seems to have entered the winter, without warmth and vitality. The fire of his life is quietly extinguished.

When I go back to Shunde, I often call my mother and ask about my grandfather. When I talk, I always tell my mother what my grandfather needs, whether the quilt is thick enough and whether the money is enough. If not, I'll give it to grandpa. Don't care too much. It is difficult for an old man to be filial all his life. If he had been more filial, he wouldn't have left too many regrets.

At that time, I was thinking that my elderly and frail grandfather might not survive this winter.

Be shocked by the bad news.

2011112, a phone call in the morning made the peace at home disappear instantly. Just the night before, I called back, and my mother told me: Grandpa hasn't eaten for several days, and he may not survive the winter. I also told my mother over and over again that it was cold, to see if the quilt covered by grandpa was warm enough. If not, help me make a new bed or get a thicker one from home.

Just one night later, my father came home from the night shift. I just got up and was washing wrasse. I had a bad feeling when I heard the bell. I saw my father's hand holding the mobile phone shaking all the time, and his voice was full of fear and pain. Before that, we were just discussing grandpa's physical condition. However, when the unfortunate news came, it plunged into my eardrum at once, and my tears swirled in my eyes, but I just didn't hide it.

For thirty years, my father refused to forgive my grandfather's indifference to us. I thought he didn't love him. However, at the moment he received the phone call, his trembling hand betrayed his heart.

It turns out that father and son are United, and this kind of affection that blood is thicker than water is always the most precious and can't be given up.

No amount of complaints can offset the passage of time. When people die, those old grievances buried in their hearts suddenly disappear without a trace. It turns out that many times, when we refuse to forgive others, we are actually torturing ourselves. At the moment when we were waiting for it to be lost forever, we found that we had no chance to make up and retain it.

Mourn all night

2011112 when I get back to the company, I'll call to book a flight back to Guangxi at night. At eight o'clock in the evening, Mr. Wang decided to drive back temporarily, which reduced the inconvenience of the shuttle bus and saved some time. So, overnight, Dai Yue drove from Shunde for nearly ten hours to his hometown.

As soon as I arrived at the village entrance, I felt the atmosphere was heavy. My mother greeted us at the entrance to the village, and when she saw us, she couldn't help crying. My sister and I helped my mother home all the way. According to the custom at home, Bo Er will set off firecrackers as soon as I enter the door. My sister, brother-in-law and husband and I lined up, one by one, to offer incense to grandpa's coffin. Looking at grandpa's portrait and thinking about his unfortunate life, tears can't stop flowing down.

Grandpa's portrait is bound in a white photo frame. Grandpa in the photo looks full of energy, but his lip angle is downward. Obviously, he is so lonely and lonely. The turbid eyes are full of attachment and reluctance to life.

After burning incense, I sat down quietly and listened to my mother's story about grandpa's death. Grandpa should have left at midnight. When he left, because there was no warning in advance, he just didn't eat for a day, so his mother and uncle didn't accompany him at the last minute.

Hearing this, I can't stop my heartache. Maybe grandpa must have had too much unwillingness and loss when he left at the last minute. Three sons, three daughters-in-law, four grandsons and four granddaughters were not with him until the last moment.

I feel guilty for my unfilial, and I also feel heartache for my grandfather's humble life.

Last Ride

201113 at 8 o'clock in the evening, it's time to see grandpa's body for the last time. Relatives and friends see grandpa one by one according to the custom of their hometown, and then nail his coffin one by one. Finally, relatives knelt down and sobbed sadly. Grandpa, my dear and respectable grandpa, will sleep in that little black coffin forever.

2011115 is the day of grandpa's funeral. Early in the morning, the guard of honor began to blow the beat. After breakfast, around 8: 30, grandpa's coffin was carried out of the house by sixteen people, and we, a group of "dutiful sons and grandchildren", kowtowed in three steps. Uncle, three people, a snot and tears, I am not sad, but watching my cousin holding grandpa's head and thinking about grandpa's last thin body, tears can't help hanging on my face.

Grandpa was buried on a hill not far from home. Several wreaths surrounded his grave, and several flying white strips were filled with endless sadness. Here, not far from home, a small earthen bag and a small stone tablet are grandpa's eternal home.

postscript

Grandpa is gone, and I have a shallow memory of him and know little about his deeds. However, grandpa will live in my heart forever, because without him, there would be no father, and without father, there would be no me.

No matter how much grandpa ignored us in the past, now, those small grievances are marked with permanent symbols with grandpa's death.

People's life is always experiencing where you will go. I can't write much about grandpa, but I know that I will cherish the memory of this ordinary and great old man all my life.

Grandpa, may you rest in peace under the grave.