New funny jokes about tucao exam

Lead: You don't even know what calculus is. Why do you come to the exam? That is the famous king of the whole school! The following is a funny joke I brought to the 20 17 new tucao exam. Welcome to read and pay attention.

1, my son went home trembling: Dad, I only got 60 points in the exam today. ? Dad is very angry: don't call me dad if you fail the exam next time! ? After three weeks, my son came back from the exam, and my father asked: How was the exam? The son looked helpless:? Sorry, brother. ?

2. Every time the teacher says:? Please put things unrelated to the exam on the platform. ? Really want to put yourself on the podium?

The whole semester was completely abandoned, and my heart ached when I approached the exam. I haven't slept for a week. Before the exam, I memorized it. I collapsed when I walked into the examination room. I cried when I got the paper. I didn't take the exam, and I don't know anything.

4. It is obviously a pad-sized exam, but there are a large number of exam ranges for daily use, which require students to conduct extended review at night. But even so, it will still leak sideways.

5. A netizen took the IELTS test, and then in the oral test, he habitually said a sentence when he got the oral expression question? **? . As a result, the examiner knew a little Chinese and asked her what she meant. She said it was HLL. Day? China people use the power of the sun to motivate themselves.

6. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but the exam is coming soon. Some are reviewing, but they are previewing, and some are unconsciously twisting their necks.

7, the wind is flying, Andrew warrior Xi is everywhere! The exam must be cancelled at any time! No, it's not canceled. Think about it, you go home, follow your classmates, eat hot pot and sing, and suddenly tell you that you have failed? So the day without exams is a good day! !

8, the exam is the pain of breathing, it lives in every corner of my body, occupying a seat hurts, not occupying a seat hurts, even sleeping hurts; Exams are painful to breathe. It rolls back and forth in the blood. It hurts to regret not reviewing, it hurts to hate not reviewing, and it hurts to read or not.

9. I was unhappy when I started reviewing. If I am unhappy, I will stop reviewing. If I didn't review, I would be happy. If I am happy, the day will pass.

10, I saw it in the morning and forgot it in the afternoon. What I saw in the afternoon, I forgot at night. Read one door and forget one. After reading one door, what else?

1 1, watch Cell, I am dead; See "blood", no circulation; Look at the breathing, my lungs are not dilated; See "digestion", too much stomach acid; Looking at the energy, I collapsed; Watching "Excretion", my urine collapsed; Looking at the feeling, I am numb; Watching "Nerve", I am very confused; Look at endocrine, I'm out of tune; Oh, my god Candidates are reasonable, that is, sick?

12, look at a question and test a question, fate; It is luck to answer a question correctly; Horizontal batch: it is useless to do too much. Reading a book every day is efficient; Test a door, strength; Horizontal approval: sudden success.

13, actually, the college entrance examination is not terrible at all. After reviewing for a year, I did well in the exams. The university is terrible, only one week, and all the exams are impossible ~ ~

14, there is a test range called? You're taking the whole book? What is the focus of an exam? That's the point, okay? My heart sank after hearing the first sentence, and my eyes filled with tears after hearing the second sentence? Those teachers who didn't focus on the whole book were angels and girls with broken wings in their last lives. Marry a teacher who focuses on it.

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15, there is a kind of fill-in-the-blank question called not knowing at all, a kind of multiple-choice question called looking to the right, a kind of calculation question called crying while doing, an application question called falling apart, and a proof question called proving your sister! There is a failing class called it doesn't matter!

16, a month ago, I asked Buddha what to do? The Buddha gave me four words: everything depends on people; Half a month ago, I asked the Buddha again, and the Buddha gave me four words: everything goes with fate; I asked the Buddha again today. After a long silence, the Buddha said: I will give you four more words: participation is the most important ~ ~

17, there is a question called: This knowledge point, I may take multiple-choice questions, may take noun explanations, may take short answers, and may take essay questions. Direct blood spray macro?

18, the exam is over, I wish I were Chu Xu, giving a question twice the score; I hope I am Lu Bu, and I will get one point if I make two mistakes. I hope it's me, Guo Jia. If I am wrong, give me the answers to two questions. I hope I am Liu Bei, and my classmates can help me solve the problem. I wish I were Sima Yi, and if I was right, I would be right. I hope it's Xiao Qiao, and the wrong deduction is someone else's score; I hope I am Zhuge Liang, and I know the exam questions in advance. If you don't review, you will deduct my points!

19, 10% of the key points are in your hands, and 90% of the questions are in the college building!

20. Why come to the exam without knowing what calculus is? That is the famous king of the whole school!

2 1, what is the first half of the blank question in the primary school Chinese exam? The mountain said to the sea: you are so broad! So vast! So passionate! So surging! The sea said to the mountain: (). A classmate wrote on the test paper: (Thank you for your compliment! )。 The marking teacher burst into tears?

It is said that the Chinese proficiency test is one of the three major BT tests in the world. Although the speech speed is slow, the content is really good? Example: Listen to a short conversation. The man said: Hey, your teeth are so white today. The woman said: that's false teeth; The man said: Really? Woman: Really? Question: Is this a real tooth or a false tooth?

23. When the teacher is nervous, he will stutter. During an invigilation, he found a classmate cheating. He angrily pointed to the cheating students and shouted:? What about you? What about you? What about you? What about you? What about you? What about you? What about you? What about you? How dare you cheat? Get up! ! ? After that, nine students stood up.

24. The final exam is not far away. I hope the students will take surprise attack as the main task, supplemented by cheating: take the policy of teachers entering Tibet, teachers withdrawing their copies, and fighting in a roundabout way!

Send you a couplet: If you don't cheat in the exam, you'd rather fail in your junior year next year than fail without personality. Horizontal criticism: I have to die.

Exam skills: three long and one short, the shortest choice; Three short and one long choose the longest; Choose b for different lengths; If it is not uniform, choose d.

Mainly copying, supplemented by Mongolia, combined with copying, Mongolia will definitely pass!

25. When I was in college, I thought about copying cheat sheets for the final exam and was found by the invigilator. Put the cheat sheet in your pocket at once, come and say after the exam, and take it out. I accidentally took out 100 yuan in my pocket, and the invigilator was shocked. Smiled and took a hundred dollars, which made me messy in the wind.

26. In a political exam in high school, a boy in the last row spread his textbook on his leg and kept writing. Unexpectedly, the invigilator quietly walked around like a horse and touched his shoulder. The student was shocked and his face remained unchanged. He said, sorry, there are too many things in the table to put down, so I have to stay on my lap. Then he lowered his head and continued to write the disease book. The whole class fainted.

27, high school students find the topic ambiguous, so they take textbooks and teachers' theories. It took the teacher three minutes to react and sighed.

28. In junior high school, the female classmate next door threw the book on the ground in a biology exam and copied it with her toes. I have always admired her eyesight and the flexibility of her toes.

29. One of my classmates took an English test in college. He bought a box of embroidery needles, and then engraved the contents of the exam on his desk in advance (our desk is one of those shiny hard boards). You can't see directly, you can only look sideways. He carved all afternoon, blunted n needles, and finally his hands were numb, and then he threw a book and occupied a seat on the desk. I think that table will be seized by my brothers and sisters in the future.

30. What I earn the most is that I have not prepared anything, thinking that I am going to die! I have prepared the repair fee! Come to the examination room and sit in a daze! As a result, the invigilator asked everyone to change seats, so I went to look at the new seat. Wow, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! All the answers are copied on the table, and they are all copied! Looking around, I found a brother staring at me with fiery eyes, hahahaha, the course passed smoothly!

3 1, I once dreamed that I was taking an exam, which scared me to death. I woke up and found that I was really taking an exam!

32. An expert slept all the time during the exam, and then woke up at the end of the exam. He looked around and found that the papers of the students behind him had not been written, so he took them, wrote his name and handed them in.

During the exam, the teacher came to me and asked me:? You guys? Is the teacher okay? I actually answered him:? Not bad. ? As a result, remember.

34. The two classmates look alike! The physics exam lasts 65 minutes, and one person will hand in the paper. Then, a person went to wc, and the person who handed in the paper continued to come in for the exam!

35. While I was taking the test for Wenquxing, suddenly the alarm clock on it rang. Is it cold? And woke up the teacher who was sleeping soundly. Beaten up by my brothers after the exam?

36. At the end of the exam, a strongman looked at the invigilator and giggled. The teacher came over and asked: How was the exam? Not bad, huh? His classmate replied: I don't know how the exam went. You have to ask me the one in front.

Tell me about our classmates' cheating experience. The teacher will draw a range before the exam, but the range is relatively wide, so the students will type out all the contents in Word, and then reduce the printing ratio to print them out (the specific ratio is not clear). The contents of a piece of A4 paper are printed on a piece of paper about half the size of a cigarette case. Then cut out the typed content, and then paste 1 page and 2 pages back to back. Generally, there are no more than 4 pieces of double-sided paper in a class. This is suitable for reading at the cuff in winter. The other one is suitable for summer use. The classmate is a girl. She wore a skirt of medium length on the day of the exam. It's still a small note on it, stuck on the opposite side of the skirt. I admire turning my skirt over a little during the exam. But in fact, the invigilator still knows what she is doing, so once in the middle of her exam, a teacher came up behind her and patted her on the shoulder and said, OK, OK, just pass the exam, OK? . It is really cold!

38. In junior high school, the final exam was finished 40 minutes in advance. I'm so bored that I can't pull my head out of my desk. Later, with the help of the teacher, I finally pulled it out and handed it in.

39, an open-book exam in one night, you can read books, you can't invite people *. A comrade wants to date his girlfriend at night and find someone temporarily. This buddy was reading Wang Shuo's book, put the information in the book and went to the examination room. The invigilator is a newly graduated female teacher. When I see this guy, I want to see his face. Of course, my buddy suddenly lowered his head. The female teacher was disobedient, bent down, and the elder brothers looked down at the books. As soon as I turned to "Who am I afraid of?", the female teacher was scared back. Later, I didn't want to make up. I read it again when I was about to hand in the paper. My buddy looked down at the book, "I don't love a person."