Humorous phrases: Youth is dedicated to the house, middle age is dedicated to the children

1. I miss you so much that I love you to the point of killing you

2. Give me a woman and I can create a tribe of beasts.

3. I allow you to enter my world, but you are not allowed to walk around in it.

4. I saw a car on the road with six stickers on the back. Words: If you are anxious, fly over.

5. It was getting cold and I sent you a coat. The post office said it was too heavy, so I unzipped the buttons and put them in my pocket.

6. The world belongs to us and to the children, but ultimately it belongs to the grandchildren!

7. Chant Buddhist scriptures three hundred times a day, and money and beautiful women will come into your account!

8. You are putting bricks on the toilet and you are raising yourself too high.

9. One day while walking on the road, the phone suddenly went off!

10. When a man gives a woman a bra, it means that he wants to establish a lover relationship; when a woman gives a man underwear, it means that she already has a lover relationship.

11. Women are kind because they are stupid, and men are stupid because they are kind.

12. Be more dedicated, and others will say you are immature; be more carefree, and others will say you are a beast. Fortunately I am neither, I am a psychopath.

13. Happiness is a virus, and I am the source of the virus. It infects you and the whole world.

14. Women ask for generosity and warmth in two extreme ways: Xiaoniaoyi People and hysteria.

15. Life should be as trouble-free as dementia; as daring to think and act as schizophrenia; as happy as mania; and as unafraid of hardships as paranoid.

16. Use your mood to ferment pain and make happy steamed buns!

17. I want to cry, I want to make trouble, stay up all night, holding a bottle of sleeping pills in my hand, and a small rope to hang myself.

18. Once he lost his footing, he became a cripple, and then he looked back and lost his waist again.

19. One day in the sky is one year in the world; one cigarette in the sky is seven or eight days in the world.

20. Auntie, we will meet at Duanchangya in sixteen years. Don’t forget to send me a text message then!

21. Seeing you smile makes me sad for several days; seeing you cry makes me happy for several years

22. If I spend my youth in idleness , then recalling the years will be a desolate tragedy.

23. Closing my eyes, I seem to see my future.

24. Only when you lose the belt of your pants can you understand what dependence is.

25. Please don’t regard my tolerance of you as your base.

26. Why is kindness always associated with stupidity? Why are cunning ones always the bad guys? I am both kind and cunning, am I an exception?

27. Don’t hint to me, I know about darkroom deception.

28. A boy’s love is like a big pie, piece by piece; a girl’s love is like a wind chime, one after another.

29. Don’t quarrel with me. If you quarrel again, take off your pants, take out the rubber band and make a slingshot to hit the glass of your house.

30. Traveling to Mars. If you have any questions, please tap the monitor three times. I will reply to you as soon as possible

31. Just believe what I say, you have a low IQ!

32. One moment of my purity is better than a lifetime of your lies.

33. What is love? Love is either a lust ring or a diamond ring.

34. Whether it’s lace underwear or a work report, simplicity is best.

35. The club is the favorite group for college students to join because everyone wants to be a shooter.

36. If a man and a woman live in the same room, will something bad happen? For example, someone farts.

37. Sheep dancing with wolves, don’t forget your identity.

38. If you want good skin, cook and fry every day

39. Time is like a river, and people often drown in it.

40. I never write the word "Cou", but I write the word "tongjia"

41. If I don't fall asleep in class, I'll get drunk at the wine table.

42. Youth is dedicated to the house, middle age is dedicated to the children.

44. The sadness of people is not that they are not as good as dogs, but that they think they are much better than dogs!

45. Either live well or die quickly!

46. I am a little bee, busy picking flowers all day long

47. Dad: You are so old, it’s time to find a wife. Me: Yes, but in the vast sea of ??people, whose wife should I find?

48. Only when you have dirty thoughts will you think that others are as dirty as you.

49. I can’t eat anything I think of you because I feel so sick when I think of you that I can’t eat!

50. Doing everything one can do is an act of malicious dumping, and refusing to marry outside is an act of local protectionism

51. Businesses who keep saying that customers are God are not Christians at all. !

52. If someone doesn’t offend me, I won’t offend anyone; if someone offends me, I’ll be polite; if someone offends me again, I’ll give him a shot in return; if someone offends me again, I’ll eliminate the root cause.

53. I firmly believe that there will be a man who came to this world to be tortured by me.

54. As a monster, my wish is to destroy at least one Ultraman. Emotional phrases dedicated to crazy youth

1. I will be your heart in the next life. At least if I don’t beat it, you will die.

2. When preparing for the exam, write "Just search Baidu and you will know" all over the paper to make the marking teacher angry

3. I have been crazy about poverty recently and have no money to buy big cakes. I have no choice but to nibble on the steamed buns; if I want to eat pancakes, I flatten the steamed buns; if I want to eat noodles, I use a comb to comb the steamed buns a few times!

4. The saddest thing is not that men are fake, but that women are stupid.

5. Is there anyone like me who wants to go to school during the holidays and take a vacation when going to school?

6. If I still remember you in the next life, I will never be with you.

7. I never tidy the room because I am a messy room beauty.

8. Marriage Trilogy: In the first year, the man is talking and the woman is listening; in the second year, the woman is talking and the man is listening; in the third year, the man and woman are talking together, The neighbors are listening.

9. My computer is so pure that it can’t stand the black screen when it comes to pornographic topics.

10. Book me two tickets to heaven. I want to find Yuelao.

11. Youth is like toilet paper. It looks like there is a lot of it, but after using it, it is not enough.

12. Brother’s goal: a peasant woman, a mountain spring, and some farmland

13. Space spoof: My friend’s name on his girlfriend’s mobile phone was “him”. Later they broke up and it became “it”…

14. Don’t look for anything if nothing happens. Me, don’t come to me if you need anything!

15. In the vast sky and vast night, a woman disguises herself as a man and acts like a hooligan.

16. Life: get out of class is over...school is over...holiday...graduated...enough hanging out...old...regretful...dead

17. Youth is running like crazy, Then fell down beautifully.

18. In fact, we can boil all problems down into two types: one is caused by being hungry without food; the other is caused by being full.

19. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is easier to get along in kindergarten.

20. Don’t do something wrong and just throw all the dirty water on yourself and keep it for flushing the toilet.

21. The cool thing about Xinwen Network is that you can still watch a piece of news completely even if you keep changing channels.

22. I am not your little raccoon, and I can’t play with you as much as you want.

23. You don’t need too many close friends, just two are enough. One will lend you money, the other will attend your funeral. I dedicated my best years to compulsory education

1. They say women are made of water, but the water pollution is so serious recently

2. The people in the wall want to When I came out, people outside the wall wanted to go in. I stood on the wall and looked around.

3. Donor, put down your butcher knife, decide to become a Buddha, and shave your head.

4. You can only convince other people’s ears with your mouth, but you can conquer other people’s hearts with actions.

5. Living in the coldest water, trying not to drown.

6. Hey, don’t show your worthless face in front of me, thank you.

7. You dress like this. Are you dissatisfied with this world?

8. I have made so many mistakes that I don’t even know where I went wrong now.

9. How do you know what is best if you don’t miss some crooked melons and cracked dates?

10. Every time I miss you is like a grain of sand, so there is Sahara in the world .

11. You are not Lin Daiyu, so don’t imitate other people’s sadness.

12. Jokes can be divided into hot and cold. Who doesn’t understand humor?

13. At this age, the only thing I can afford to hold and put down is chopsticks

14. What is money? It’s something I don’t have

15. If your mind is not as big as the sea, how can you have a career as big as the sea?

16. A heart can only pretend to be one person. If you pretend to be two people, then you are not a human being.

17. What makes people crazier than falling in love is falling out of love. .

18. Don’t be afraid of temptation. If you resist it, it means you are a good person; if you fail to resist it, it means you were a good person.

19. Don’t grab things from me, even though I don’t I can act coquettishly, but I can do wrestling.

20. I dedicated my best years to compulsory education

21. Women have two mouths, one mouth talks about right and wrong, and the other mouth can eat people.

22. Being stared at by a beautiful woman requires more psychological quality than being stared at by an ugly woman for a day.

23. Beauty can only be used to deceive men, and intelligence can be used to deceive the world.

24. You say you are my friend, but in fact I know that animals are indeed friends of humans.

25. Be careful when brushing your teeth in the future and never swallow mouthwash again

26. What you say is not necessarily better than what you sing. But the singing must be worse than the speaking. Words dedicated to teachers

1. Spreading knowledge is to sow hope and happiness. Teacher, you are the sower of hope and happiness!

2. Teacher’s Day is coming, let us wish you silently in our hearts...

3. Teacher, your love is as warm as a fire, as gentle as the spring breeze, and as clear as a spring. Normally sweet; teacher, your love is more serious than father's love, more delicate than mother's love, and more pure than friendship. The dark clouds will disperse and the lights will go out, but your love will never disappear like the vast universe.

4. On this holiday, I sincerely wish you good health, all the best, and eternal youth!

5. Teacher, everyone says that you cultivate the pillars of the motherland; but I want to say that you are the pillars of the motherland. It is you who support the backbone of our generation!

6. You are like a red candle, giving all your heat and light to the future generations! Your character and spirit can be summed up in two words - burning! Keep burning!

7. Teacher, in just a few days of getting along with us, we have truly gotten to know you. Your kind and simple words; your figure at the desk reviewing your work; and your silent and selfless dedication are by our side every moment. echoed.

You are the red candle, igniting yourself and illuminating us; you are the spring silkworm, unable to spin silk until death; you are the raindrop, nourishing us to grow. You use the nectar of knowledge to water the flowers of our ideals. You use the clear spring of the soul to nourish the fruit of our sentiment. You...Teacher, what you release is the hope of love, and what you harvest is the brilliant sunshine. Dear teacher, on this unusual holiday, we send our most affectionate and sincere blessings: "May you have health, happiness and happiness every day!" Let us say again, "Teacher, you have worked hard!"

8. We are like budding spring buds. You water and fertilize us with love, so that we can bloom into beautiful flowers.

9. Flowers understand the selflessness of spring rain best; Yueer understands the generosity of sunshine best. We have experienced the teacher's love vividly in just a few days: kind love, strict love, full of expectations, full of care!

10. You are busy with the blooming of flowers and the ripening of fruits, silently hanging the green shade of leaves! Ah, teacher, your spirit will always be in my heart!

11. Teacher, on this festive occasion, I send you my sincere blessings, wishing you a healthier, happier and happier future! Missing the green flowers of the season is my boundless congratulations. The flowers are full of fragrance. It means that you have a beautiful youth. There are always flying laughter. I can't express my thoughts and I wish you eternal blessings! On the journey of life, you have ignited the light of hope for me, enriched my soul, added my wisdom, taught me, educated me, and loved me. I am forever grateful to you and wish you the best! As high as the sky is your mind, as deep as the mountains is your kindness!

12. You are the navigation beacon in our life and the key to unlocking the door of our wisdom. It is you who gave us knowledge and made our lives no longer blank.

13. Without the nourishment of your thoughts, how could so many beautiful soul flowers bloom? Ah, teacher, engineer of the human soul, who would not praise you!

14. You are the best teacher and you are the best friend!

15. During class, you took the trouble to teach us; after class, you played with us together.

16. When a seedling needs a glass of water, he will never give him a bucket of water; and when he needs a bucket of water, he will never give him a glass of water. Giving at the right time and in the right amount is the skill of a good gardener. My teacher, this is also your art of education.

17. Teacher, do you know? I have a few words from my heart that I want to say to you. I have gradually adapted to the life in junior high school. But the intense pace still makes people nervous, and the daily classes are very tight. It seems that after reading a sentence in English, you have to start writing, and after you can't write a few sentences, you have to start doing math problems. The heavy schoolbag has become a burden, carrying the expectations of parents and the instructions of teachers. Although the homework was not much, every teacher's requirements were very high, which made me a little breathless.

18. Teacher, you are a cultivator of beauty and a sower of beauty. It is you who shine with beautiful sunshine and moisten with beautiful rain and dew, so that our hearts are green and full of flowers!

19. In the near future, whether I will become a tall tree or a low shrub, I will pay tribute to you with the greenness of life. I would like to weave my thoughts into a flower basket for you. Dear teacher!

20. Hello, teacher. Entering campus, I gradually grow and change under your careful care. From a fledgling chick to a young eagle ready to go, I sincerely thank you.

21. Maybe life in junior high school should be like this, and it should bear these hopes. Although it is hard work, don’t worry, teacher, I will work hard.

22. Ah, because of you, the garden is so beautiful and the earth is full of spring! Teacher, open the window and take a look. This garden full of spring scenery, this garden full of peaches and plums, are all saluting you!