The old man in the countryside died. The villagers used to help him, but now no one helps him. What should I do in the future?

The old man in the countryside died. The villagers used to help him, but now no one helps him. What should I do in the future?

More than a decade ago, the villagers in rural areas were still harmonious. Whoever builds a house will disturb half the village. The villagers always go to their host's house to help, not for a bite to eat, but for mutual affection.

In the past, if something happened in the countryside, it was the top priority in the village. In this matter, the small family members in the village are too busy, so most villagers will be willing to help. Some of them keep accounts, some set tables, some carry coffins, and most villagers give them some gifts with paper and money.

Over the years, compared with the grand "white matter" in rural areas for more than ten years, it has become much less in recent years. Now in the countryside, there are fewer people who help white things. In addition to their own families in the village, some outsiders just go to find some old people, and some young people no longer make do. What is the reason? In the past, when the old man died in the countryside, the villagers all went to help, but now no one helps. What should I do in the future? Plum will answer.

What is the reason? Plum thinks:

First, now the villagers focus on the economy, supplemented by assistance, and become indifferent except what must be done.

With the development of society, people gradually realize the importance of making money. In order to make money, villagers gradually walked out of the city from the countryside. Working in the city, skilled villagers can earn more than 200 yuan a day, and the village has no money to earn.

It is precisely because of this that something happened in the village. As long as they are not from their own homes, villagers who go to work in cities will not return to the village to help. Besides the fare and gas money, they will also miss a day and earn more than 200 yuan a day. As a result, many villagers went to the village to help.

Second, young people nowadays can't and don't want to do it.

In the past, in the village, the family was very large, and several families in the village were married, which formed a situation in which each family had something to help. But now, many young people have also gone out of the countryside and come to the city to develop, and the rich local flavor in the village has gradually faded.

Now the post-80s and post-90s are gradually becoming the main force in the village, but now the post-80s and post-90s are unwilling to participate in such things. Apart from what they have to do, they prefer to work and surf the Internet rather than help, so they have to leave some old people in the village to take charge of it. So, it's normal for no one to help now.

So what should we do in the future?

The author believes that the society is developing, and it is normal for half the people in the village to help when there was a business trip in the countryside. Now that the village is closed, it is normal for no one to help, but the rural family is still relatively large. Therefore, as long as the family is United and not divided, it can still be done. But there are fewer people who can help. In neighboring cities, there are also some funeral services, and the main family can do it well as long as they can spend more money, but this is a last resort because only people with smaller families can do it.

Therefore, no matter what you do, it is a fact that there will be fewer people in the village to help in the future, which cannot be changed. So we must face the reality, after all, the complexity and simplicity of our business are all practical now.

You are an idiot! At first glance, you use two things from your own village to start the topic, which seems to be true. But it's totally bullshit!

I also use a fact to talk about my opinion:

My wife died of illness last September. At that time, it was true that most of my family and neighbors were working in other places.

I didn't have any worries when I was in the hospital, but I did have some difficulties on my way home. Everyone is making money to support their families in other places. What should we do about it? Later, after clan discussion, I said: it is not easy for young people to find a job when they are working hard outside. We won't notify them at all. Let's think more ways and do it simply. They didn't object to my face, just said they did as I said! What exactly should I do? I won't worry about it any more. But the result of the last thing really surprised me! This thing in my house is not only not simple, but also quite grand! It almost exceeds the scale of all previous funerals in the village. Two-thirds of the main roads in the village are filled with more than 100 electronic doors and floating eulogies.

When it was time for the official office, something even more surprising happened to me. Almost all the sons and nephews who work outside the home came back at the same time. Twenty pairs! I don't know who informed them. Touched! I think it should be their parents! This is one of them.

Secondly, my best friends (can be said to be "sworn brothers" in those days) have all returned from other places. And in the process of helping, they are all scrambling to do those tired and dirty jobs. Touching again!

The third is our village neighbor. More than 30 people came to help, which also touched me from the bottom of my heart!

This is my own experience!

As for the two things you said, my feeling is:

First, the people in those two families are probably not enthusiastic enough about other people's affairs on weekdays, so that when something happens at home, others are slightly indifferent!

The second is that the family size of these two families is really small, plus there are no friends!

So I think as a person, we should take the overall situation into consideration and not just look at the present. Simply put, you help everyone on weekdays, and everyone will help you if something happens! There is no mystery here, life is so simple!

A little humble opinion, I hope everyone understands!

Before the death of the rural elderly, all the villagers helped. There is no one to help now. What should I do in the future?

There are mountains to raise, but no mountains to be alone. Some of us have already done so. It's been a long time. I won't say who it is. After his old man died, he carried the dead old man to the mountain and buried him in a wooden box. I don't think this is a problem. I didn't invite anyone to dinner or help. I can go home as soon as possible and do what I should do. It doesn't matter whether I can bury it thin or not.

If you are rich, want to save face and think crying is filial piety, you can hire someone to cry, a drummer or a band. Since there is money to do, there are not many people who carry bodies by hard work, right? This is still a thing.

But you don't have a good upbringing when the old man is around. Even if your funeral is earth-shattering and makes you cry, it is hypocrisy. This is called spending money to hide people's eyes and ears, which is a kind of deception and self-deception!

Without the help of villagers, funeral companies came into being. The service routine is similar to that of a wedding photo studio, with one-stop service throughout. I can't do anything but think. Now that money is so hard to earn, there is no need to worry if there is a good way. Get the money ready.

1 19 hospital ambulances don't have to rely entirely on the help of villagers, but they can also have caregivers. Isn't this true?

For example, whether it's mutual help or reciprocity, you helped me, I didn't help you, or I gave you a gift. I didn't give me money for anything. I looked at each other on the surface, but I was 100% biased against you in my heart. In fact, the anger in my heart is also uncomfortable. There are both human factors and unfavorable factors.

For example, your friend's family will hold a wedding ceremony one day. Even if there is a big event, people are the best, which means that face is no problem and people can't get money. That's right, but you couldn't go that day because you couldn't afford the gift, and you said that people didn't go and the money didn't arrive. How dare you meet your friends? The interpersonal relationship between you and me wants to have a long snack.

Hiring people is just bargaining, not spending money. Human feelings are often more expensive than money, and human feelings are often endless. Hiring someone is a one-off solution. I don't have to ask you to come. I owe myself. I owe you.

Many people in rural areas are caught in a network of mutual help and courtesy, just like breaking ties; It is also like a messy string, cut with blunt scissors. If you keep cutting, it's still messy. An old man died in the countryside. What should you do?

The death of the elderly in our rural areas is collectively referred to as "aftermath" and is divided into two types. One is younger. Those who died before the age of 73 are called "mourning", and those who died over the age of 84 are called "mourning". But no matter what kind of "mourning", it is very grand.

After the old man died, he decided to open the door according to the season. The so-called "opening the door" means accepting condolences from relatives and friends and burning paper money. The dead old man can't sleep in bed. The living room of the eldest son's house is paved, that is, with wheat straw or straw, rough reed mats or bamboo mats are paved, and the old man throws his head at the southwest and kicks the northeast and spreads it on the shop. This is uncertain. If the door faces north, the old man's head always rushes to the front door.

The deceased covered his face with yellow paper, put a big pottery basin in front of his head and put a "ever-burning lamp". Pottery basin, also known as old basin (old, old sound, first sound), when relatives and friends come to visit, they often buy a wreath or flower basket, bring a few knives of yellow paper and knock four heads. Guests kowtow, and the deceased must be accompanied by his eldest son or grandson in return. The so-called return, that is, kowtowing to relatives and friends, kowtowing to four. The yellow watch paper brought is also put in the old basin and burned in batches. The so-called ever-burning lamp is the kind that eats late. Half a bowl of plain oil (rapeseed oil) is lit with cotton twisted into a wick. The door is also hung with grass, so you can't open the door directly.

Next, reward guests. Invite all relatives and friends to have a party. During the banquet, the "big branch" (the big manager invited by the main family) will also take his dutiful son to the banquet to bow down and express his gratitude.

Then there is the party. At night, the closest people sit around the coffin and sit quietly. At dawn the next day, the "dutiful son" will kneel down and invite the "weightlifter". Buried under the coffin, we call it "weightlifting" here, usually in groups of eight. Weightlifters don't do it casually. Only two children are qualified. However, after the implementation of family planning in rural areas, it is ok to have a boy.

The funeral customs here are strange, which can be seen from the mourning. The old man died, but no matter how big the family is, no matter how many generations, we can see from the mourning that it has something to do with the deceased.

Before burying the dead, you should also write down the "transfer" of the spirit card. Before arriving at the Earth Temple, all relatives turned around three times, burning paper money, offering tributes, praying, and all three kowtowed. This shows how difficult it is to transfer accounts.

Then, the "road code" is being carried out, usually at the fork in the road at the head of the village. The old man "moved his account" and sent another ride.

At present, young people in rural areas basically go out to work, and it is rare for the whole village to help with red and white affairs. What should I do if the old man in the countryside dies? There is still a way. There are ceremonies at weddings and funerals. What if the weightlifter can't find it? Hire an excavator. The coffin doesn't need manpower to lift it, just a excavator. Without manual digging, the excavator finished digging in a few minutes.

Rural people are still kind. No matter whose crops are damaged, there will be no conflict because of the old man's funeral. Even if the two families are enemies, the dead are respected, which is fully reflected in our countryside.

At present, it is a special period, and viruses are spreading everywhere. In this case, all funerals should be handled simply. Even at this time, if you want to do something big, the government will not allow it. So, at this time, the old man in the countryside died, and no one came to help. Don't be too angry. This is because of special circumstances. Who dares to risk their lives to help?

Academician Zhong Nanshan has repeatedly stressed that it is a critical moment to fight the virus, and everyone should stay at home and avoid going out unnecessarily. Therefore, if everyone gets together at this time, it is bound to fall short. The old man in the countryside died at this time, so we can only keep everything simple.

A few years later, an old man in our town died suddenly. The town immediately sent cadres to transport the old man's body to cremation, and then came down to the mountain for burial accompanied by several close relatives. The whole process was deserted, and even if relatives in the city wanted to come, there was no way. So I can only call to express my comfort.

Since the old man has passed away, it is also an alternative to bury him in the grave first and then reissue it on Qingming or the first anniversary. I believe everyone can understand.

Now the relationship between rural people is weak, and most people read each other's jokes. In the past, I didn't talk about how much money I earned every day. During the time when they helped each other, they just wanted to eat and fill their stomachs. Now the society is different, it's all about making money to support the family. 1980 era, everything is cheap. Nowadays, society is expensive, and rural people don't make money. In their prime, they went out to work. In reality, they say that they are daughter-in-law, buy a car, get a bride price and hold a wedding banquet for nothing, so fewer and fewer people help them when the old people in rural areas die. Most people value money too much, which is also forced by the social situation! People are not short of money, who wants to go to other places to work and suffer? If you live in this world without money, who will respect you? If you are poor, no one will ask. If you have money, you have distant relatives in the mountains.

This is the real society. In the future, the relationship between generations will be worse, so 2020 is not an ordinary year. In the past, the poor helped others, but now the rich hurt others, alas! -alas! Alas, money is everything. You can't do anything without money. As long as you have money, you can make the mare go. Funerals in rural areas all use lifting frames, excavators and restaurants to carry dishes. I don't know what your village is doing. Let's exchange views!

Don't worry about this problem!

There are only six families in our village. A 90-year-old man passed away last month. The funeral is very lively and dense, and there will be no one to help.

Although most of the old man's children and grandchildren work in Shanghai, the whole family stopped working when they learned the important news of the old man's death. They drove back to the countryside from Shanghai overnight to see the old man for the last time and gave him a funeral.

Originally, there were only four people left in the village to farm and raise chickens at home, but the death of the old man brought most people out of the village back. Even if we only stayed in the bereavement home for an hour or two, everyone took the time to come to the scene.

In rural areas, there is still a heavy gift-giving custom. Many people attend every family's weddings and funerals. As long as you can follow everyone's rhythm, rural customs will not change after many years.

On that day, everyone will no longer pay attention to the neighbors next door, the affection of seven aunts and eight aunts, and no longer attend the funeral in the countryside. There will also be one-stop funeral services in rural areas. There are always people in this society who are good at discovering business opportunities, which is why our life is so convenient.

Before the old man died, the victim set off firecrackers and informed the captain. The captain informed every household that as long as someone was at home, they would help. If someone went out to work, they wouldn't call at that time, and they wouldn't care if someone didn't come.

A few years ago, due to the large number of migrant workers, the rest of my hometown were old people and children. Some old people died, and the host family knew that it was troublesome to work outside, so they didn't know anything. They ask workers to finish everything, and it becomes a habit after a long time.

Some people saw this as a good business opportunity and began to organize a group of people to take care of everything professionally for the death of the elderly. Now in our hometown, as long as the host calls, everything will be done clearly, with one-stop service, and the host only pays. It doesn't matter. We don't owe anyone anything. This is a custom in our hometown.

I remember when my great-grandmother died, everyone in our small village went out, running errands, helping the kitchen and shopping, leaving all the family "hanging" aside.

In our hometown, as long as there are weddings, funerals and weddings, everyone in the whole bay will be out in full swing. Later, when I saw the weddings organized by rich and powerful people in movies and TV shows, I would think of my great-grandmother's funeral. She was originally from a poor family, but she enjoyed extraordinary courtesy.

Later, when my uncle died, the situation was different. Although all the family members went to help, there were very few young people and they all went to work in other places. There is no shortage of people for flying skills, but the "Eight Immortals" who carry coffins can't choose people. It was several sensible elders who saved me. They called back my son who worked in Wuhan and sent my uncle up the mountain.

In rural areas, the tradition of helping each other is still followed. Due to the rapid development of part-time economy, young and middle-aged people are basically in other places, and there is no suitable person to do some heavy physical work in organizing the funeral of the elderly. My distant cousin Bao Cai speaks well. When his father died, everyone went to help. There's a wedding in the Bay. He has to help, or he'll be sorry for his fellow villagers. My uncle died, and he stopped work for three days, and the loss was more than 1000.

The friend who asked the question asked, the old man in the countryside died, and now no one is helping. What should I do in the future? In my opinion, it is not that no one is willing to help now, but that the conditions are limited. If it rises to worry about the future, it is even more unnecessary. When the old man died, the clan was there. If anyone is needed, others in the bay will help. Everyone will die one day, everyone can understand and know what to do.

During the Spring Festival, two old people in the village died one after another. Because the farmhouse village is not big, and many young people have bought houses in the city, they are really understaffed when they hold happy events. The hardest thing is that even the porters called many young people in the village to return to the city before sending the old man up the mountain. For this phenomenon, many old people in the village shook their heads again and again.

This phenomenon exists not only in villages where farmers live, but also in many other rural areas. According to the old people in the village, in some small villages nearby, because a large number of young people are working in other places, not only the wedding activities are contracted to professional service teams, but also the wedding activities are contracted by teams. They can provide a series of all-round services, even funeral services can be contracted, as long as the host family pays. Then why do the old people in the village die and everyone goes to help, but now some young people are unwilling to help? The old people in the village summed up several reasons.

The first reason is that human feelings are weak. In the past, when anyone had a happy event, family members would take the initiative to help, such as a red happy event, and almost every household in the village would help, and it was still free. You help me, I help you, and everyone helps each other. That's because at that time, everyone wandered around an acre of land in the village and rarely went out to work. Therefore, the villagers are relatively harmonious and United and have a beautiful tradition of helping each other. Once someone is in trouble, they will not hesitate to lend a helping hand. But now young people are in the field all the year round, and they can't stay in the village for a few days a year, so there are few opportunities to meet each other. Even if we meet, it's just a simple greeting. In this way, because there is less contact, the feelings will fade, and naturally there will be no feelings at all. Some people are away all the year round, and even some old people in the village don't know them. It will be a little hesitant to ask them to help the dead old man.

The second reason is that young people are under great pressure and time is tight, so helping them will delay making money. In the past, farmers used to work in the village, so it didn't take much time to help others. Just leave it there. But now they are all working in other places, not only need the round-trip fare, but also earn hundreds of yuan a day. It usually takes several days to hold a white wedding, plus the time lost on the way back and forth, it takes almost five or six days, and thousands of dollars are gone. So some young people are afraid of trouble and don't want to come back unless they have a good relationship.

Another reason is that some people are selfish. In the village, other people have happy events and are unwilling to help. Then it was their turn, and the villagers didn't want to help. Because everyone is not stupid, my family has something to do, and if you don't help me, why should I help your family? There used to be a family in the farmer's village who was away from home all the year round and didn't participate in anything in the village. When an old man died, he refused to ask him for help. Later, a relative of his family died, and others were unwilling to help. There is no way to kneel down and invite people under the leadership of the person in charge. The villagers also insisted that "the dead are the biggest", and finally the villagers were willing to help.

In fact, everyone has an old man, and everyone is bound to die. This kind of thing is "I am for everyone and everyone is for me". If you don't help others, don't expect others to help you when something happens in your home.