Urgent! Lines in Zhao Benshan's Prose Happy New Year

"Happy New Year" is a sketch of "1992 CCTV Spring Festival Evening", which is jointly performed by Zhao Benshan, Fan Wei and Gao Xiumin. These lines are as follows:

Aunt: Go, go, go.

Zhao Laoqi: Don't delay.

Aunt: Why are you so slow?

Zhao Laoqi: How fast? Can I still fly?

Aunt: Why didn't you know you were in a hurry? Our fish pond is about to expire, and the brother-in-law in charge is in a hurry. He wants to sign a contract, so why don't we talk to the person in charge?

Zhao Laoqi: Since it's due, it's useless to say anything!

Aunt: finally, let's fight for it!

Zhao Laoqi: You are so stingy that you don't even fight for your New Year's Eve. It's a shame to bring two bastards.

Aunt: You have to rely on me. Don't take either.

Zhao Laoqi: What do you have?

Aunt: It's not popular to give gifts now. Everyone pays attention to emotional communication.

Zhao Laoqi: What ditch?

Auntie: Use language and say something nice!

Zhao Laoqi: That's it. Let me play with the fish pond. Let me play the language better!

Aunt: Compared with what?

Zhao Laokun: You go to the South Pole with a blind pestle, and you can't find the North at all. Cerebral thrombosis practice fork, simply can't split the leg; Monkeys wearing cheongsam can't see beauty at all; You asked Pan Changjiang to kiss Zheng, but you couldn't reach your mouth!

Aunt: I said you, you, the whole thing is useless. Listen, old man. Don't talk about things in a hurry when you enter the house. Let's put on our hats, sing praises and say a few more words about New Year greetings. As long as the township head is happy, communication is almost the same.

Zhao Laoqi: Do people in tall hats give you pleasure?

Auntie: Well, don't say he is the head of the township. Even if the president puts a hat on him, he will be happy, Charles de Gaulle!

Zhao Laoqi: Oh!

Aunt: Knock at the door.

Zhao Laoqi: Oh, I'm afraid to meet the leader!

Aunt: Remember, don't say anything before entering the house. Look me in the eye.

Zhao Laoqi: Well, knock!

Fan Xiangchang: Oh, you're back! Who are you?

Aunt: I'm your aunt!

Fan Xiangchang: Auntie?

Aunt: Ah, we used to come from the same fortress, folks. Xiaomi raised you, and your beard is full of stories. Do you remember?

Fan Xiangchang: Which family are you from?

Aunt: Laogaojia in the east, the first one to enter the door, three big tile houses, my father Gao Mantang!

Zhao Laokun: Nicknamed Tall Russian!

Fan Xiangchang: Oh, what's this?

Aunt: He is my old man.

Zhao Laokun: That tall Russian is my uncle. No, I am his father's father-in-law. No, his father is my father-in-law We were meant for each other.

Aunt: Township Head, if I were here, you'd better call him Aunt! Come and meet.

Zhao Laoqi: Happy New Year, Uncle.

Aunt: On the contrary, he called you aunt.

Zhao Laoqi: Haha.

Aunt: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Fan Xiangchang: Haha.

Zhao Laoqi: You let me in?

Fan Xiangchang: This old man?

Aunt: Come in, flight attendant. What are you doing outside?

Fan Xiangchang: I don't know whose family it is.

Zhao Laoqi: Sit down!

Fan Xiangchang: Oh.

Aunt: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Zhao Laoqi: Ha ha ha.

Aunt: Do you remember that flight attendant?

Fan Xiangchang: Oh, I still don't remember.

Aunt: Did I see you off the day you went to middle school? When you leave, I'll send you on your way. You waved to the villagers. At that time, my aunt was silent and tears fell.

Zhao Laoqi: Is there a camel bell ringing in your ear?

Aunt: Do you remember this?

Fan Xiangchang: Ah! I remember the lyrics, but you still don't remember them.

Aunt: No wonder you don't remember. You said you went to middle school that year. I was in my thirties, and I'm 50 this year.

Zhao Laoqi: I'm 56.

Aunt: Who asked you?

Zhao Laoqi: I'm 56 if you ask me. I am a chicken. ......

Aunt: You said you wanted to talk about this man. Nowhere to see. We haven't seen each other for 20 years. You said you became a township head. Go there and make sense!

Fan Xiangchang: I, the township head, have not been reasonable?

Zhao Laoqi: What are you talking about? Fan Xiangchang was born to be an official. Have you forgotten? I chose you as the head of the township that year. Am I the representative of the village?

Fan Xiangchang: Ah, yes, yes.

Zhao Laoqi: I remember it rained in July that year. That guy was crying from morning till noon, and he had a big thunder. Fan Xiangchang was born!

Fan Xiangchang: No ... You mean I was struck by lightning?

Aunt: Oh, flight attendant, he didn't mean that. What he meant was that much thunder and little rain, and Fan was appointed to be in charge to lead the peasants in the revolution. ......

Zhao Laoqi: Ah, uh-huh, uh-huh

Fan Xiangchang: Hehehehehe, old uncle, what are you talking about? This is ... If it's not you, there must be something,

Aunt: No, no, we have nothing to do. We are all little things. The housekeeper said you had too many things this year. How many good things have you done for our town? You said that from popularizing scientific farming to developing food projects, you will go to the bank today and go to the Science and Technology Commission tomorrow. You really broke your heart, your mouth, and your body is almost exhausted.

Zhao Laoqi: I also carry water for widows! The whole town knows about it.

Fan Xiangchang: Ah, that's all small things, oh.

Aunt: There are also great events, great events. ......

Zhao Laoqi: Major events are getting older every year. He didn't do it either, because of the return of Hong Kong, the flood control of the Three Gorges, the 15th National Congress, and President Jiang's visit to the United States.

Aunt: that's not right, he is responsible for releasing spirits ~

Zhao Laoqi: Yes, when you lose your mind, we are all crazy!

Fan Xiangchang: What's wrong with me?

Zhao Laoqi: Cheer up.

Fan Xiangchang: I tell you, you don't have to wear a top hat for me. Say something casually.

Zhao Laoqi: He won't let me talk.

Aunt: Nothing. The new year has arrived. I'll tell your uncle. You said that this Fan Xiangchang led our township so well in one year. On behalf of the grassroots, we come to pay homage to the young township head Fan.

Fan Xiangchang: Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Zhao Laoqi: Happy New Year!

Aunt: We sincerely wish the township head health, peace, happiness and longevity every year.

Zhao Laoqi: Live in our hearts forever.

Fan Xiangchang: Hehe, no, you always use a little inappropriate words. If you have something to say, if it's okay, hey, I can go.

Zhao Laoqi: What's wrong with me?

Aunt: Don't always talk nonsense!

Zhao Laoqi: I said nothing!

Aunt: Go sit there and wait. Don't make any noise.

Zhao Laoqi: Say something quickly, we are leaving.

Aunt: Township Head, we have something to do!

Fan Xiangchang: Look, I knew you must have something. Come on, tell me!

Aunt: Well, your brother-in-law went to our house yesterday.

Fan Xiangchang: What did he do?

Aunt: He gave us an ultimatum, saying that we wouldn't keep turtles, and that if we didn't agree to this, we would fish out our bastards and bleed them one by one.

Zhao Laoqi: Well, township head, I'm telling you, hey, I don't know if it's good.

Fan Xiangchang: Nothing, go ahead.

Zhao Laokun: Your brother-in-law has a bad influence on you. Hee hee, he is a little arrogant. Hee hee, it's hard to say, but it just has a bad influence. I went to my house that day, and the guy said to me as soon as he came in, then who is the old man and the old lady at home? Give me two assholes! The two of us were braised. I drank more than a kilo and had no place to listen to that.

Aunt: Oh, that guy screwed up. He said that he was negotiating to buy an aircraft carrier in Russia.

Zhao Laoqi: Dump the fish pond quickly so that I can come back for training.

Fan Xiangchang: Have you always been Zhao Laoying, the fish king?

Zhao Laoqi: It is contempt.

Fan Xiangchang: I recognized you as soon as you came in.

Zhao Laoqi: Mom, the township head recognized me.

Auntie: Township head, it's either our request or this fish pond. Is it not due yet? Let's ask who the next issue is for.

Township head Fan: Oh, the next township head will inform you after the New Year.

Aunt: Next?

Zhao Laoqi: Just tell me!

Fan Xiangchang: Isn't this just after the People's Congress? I am no longer the head of the township.

Aunt: Are you coming down?

Fan Xiangchang: Ah! Coming down, hehehe!

Zhao Laoqi: Mom, are you coming down? God, you said you were tired when you came down. This guy was leveled when he came down, so I don't have to be afraid of you. Oh, he fell.

Aunt: Why don't you give us some water? The sound is dry. This guy said that.

Fan Xiangchang: OK, OK!

Aunt: God, this guy is tired.

Zhao Laoqi: Alas, this guy can't even breathe.

Fan Xiangchang: Pour water!

Zhao Laoqi: That's enough. Let's share it. No need.

Fan Xiangchang: Hehe!

Zhao Laoqi: Do you have a cigarette?

Fan Xiangchang: Ah, I can't smoke, sorry!

Zhao Laoqi: Forget it then.

Aunt: Oh, are you coming down?

Zhao Laoqi: Well, why? Corruption?

Fan Xiangchang: Ah, that's the thing.

Aunt: Stop it. We don't care if you can come down. We came here today to know whose fish pond belongs to our village.

Fan Xiangchang: I thought I said you would understand after the New Year.

Aunt: Ah, ah, ah, it's the Spring Festival. Who can't read it? Now I understand. You don't have to ask Must be for your brother-in-law. You two are partners. I said three fat people. ......

Zhao Laoqi: Sanpang?

Fan Xiangchang: Ah, my nickname is Three Fats, haha!

Zhao Laoqi: Oh, my nickname is Dog Zuozi.

Aunt: three fat people, I'm not talking about you. As a fellow villager, you are really not interesting enough! You said that you had been in charge for so many years and arranged your brother-in-law before you stepped down. Let the next leader say that you are a good man with both internal and external skills, instead of me saying that you are a fat man and a leading cadre like you. ......

Zhao Laoqi: Hehe!

Aunt: It's right to roll you down. If it's right, then.

Zhao Laoqi: What are you doing? Too many. Ow! Why are you like this? What you just said is wrong. If people come down, you say it's hard to obey. I don't think this is good, do you? Since this big nephew has changed from a township head to a three-fat man, let's not give a stick to the head again, shall we? People need understanding and comfort most at this time, don't they? Who hasn't made some mistakes in his life? If you do something wrong, correct it and do it again!

Fan Xiangchang: Huh?

Zhao Laoqi: No, if you commit a crime, it will be difficult to correct it. If you correct it, it will be difficult to repeat it! Nothing! Well, my uncle communicated with you and I didn't eat either. Why don't we have two drinks?

Aunt: Cough!

Fan Xiangchang: Ouch! Great! Come on, come on, come on, come on

Zhao Laoqi: Don't be like him at this time when people are most empty.

Aunt: I said, why is your heart so big?

Zhao Laoqi: How can life be so smooth?

Aunt: The road to get the money is blocked. Are you still in the mood to drink?

Zhao Laoqi: Stay!

Aunt: Even if you give me Yunnan Baiyao now, it won't heal our mental trauma ~ Go home.

Zhao Laoqi: Don't you dare!

Aunt: I told you to go home!

Zhao Laoqi: I told you-stand down! Beautiful? I still can't control you! Say you're not ... what? Is there anything good in the same family? The earth has to revolve around you. Are you the sun? What's the use of saying those ozone atoms?

Aunt: Can his brother-in-law raise fish?

Zhao Laoqi: What can I do in my next life? Study! It's okay, fatty. You tell your brother-in-law what he can't do. You ask his uncle. He can't do anything else. This is definitely the meaning of fish farming.

Fan Xiangchang: That's it.

Zhao Laoqi: Did I tell you you wouldn't come down? Nothing to do, you raise fish, and you are tired of being a steward for a year-you are exhausted and worried about getting angry. After that, if you write to tell you, you'll be wasted! You raise fish! I am fifty or sixty thousand this year!

Aunt: Cough!

Zhao Laoqi: If you cough, you need 50,000 to 60,000 yuan. Don't put it there! Especially raising soft-shelled turtles is very profitable. I tell you, I'll give you two. After that, I should watch the water and master the feed. I prepare my own feed completely! Love what you eat.

Fan Xiangchang: Drink!

Zhao Laoqi: It's no good drinking it. Drink it. You give it a drink, and it doesn't eat distiller's grains!

Fan Xiangchang: I said we cannot father drink!

Zhao Laoqi: Huh? You and me, I thought you were filling the tortoise with wine! Hey, drink it!

(Phone rings)

Zhao Laoqi: That's what you did!

Fan Xiangchang: No, I can't drink urgent wine. Telephone. Telephone.

Zhao Laoqi: I'll answer it. who is it? You did it. Well, you drank it and I told him. Who are you? Drink. Quit, stop fighting here and raise fish. Hey, it's useless to say anything else, just don't do it! Find-fan county magistrate-report for duty? You found the county magistrate, and you quit your job at the township head's house. It's no use telling me. He is looking for the county magistrate Fan. ...

Fan Xiangchang: It's for me.

Fan Xiangchang: Hey! Hey! Nothing! It's okay. There is a guest here.

Zhao Laoqi: Where are my shoes? It's over, good news from the delivery room, people are "born" ... it's time! I told you I wouldn't let you come I won't let you come. How about this time? Slow down! I think it's killing you for your mouse to be your cat's escort to earn money!

Aunt: So you blame me?

Zhao Laoqi: I don't blame you. Who do you blame? Did I just get on the kang?

Fan Xiangchang: Yes!

Zhao Laoqi: Did I drink?

Fan Xiangchang: Yes!

Aunt: You also ate other people's food!

Fan Xiangchang: That's right!

Zhao Laoqi: How can this be done?

Fan Xiangchang: We will deal with it later!

Zhao Laoqi: Oh dear!

Aunt: What should we do?

Zhao Laoqi: Go back!

Aunt: Then our turtle is still in the house, and there are baskets!

Zhao Laoqi: What turtle do you want?

Fan Xiangchang: (putting on his shoes) Ah, here you are. Here you are. ......

Zhao Laoqi: This can be stewed and eaten. This is fun, damn it!

Fan Xiangchang: Hehe, put it on and don't catch cold! Aunt, come in!

Aunt: Well, we won't pack fish ponds.

Fan Xiangchang: Come in!

Aunt: We really don't package that fish pond.

Fan Xiangchang: Come in!

Aunt: We really don't. Now let's go back to the shack, peel off the turtles and bleed one by one! There are no bags.

Fan Xiangchang: Auntie, you are pushing me. To tell you the truth, you will continue to contract the next fish pond!

Aunt: No way, so you didn't tell me when I asked you in the house?

Fan Xiangchang: Why didn't I want to tell you? You said my brother-in-law wanted to pack fish ponds. Is he the material? Why can't I eat what I don't have enough? I'm afraid I will tell you. A few years ago, as soon as the news got out, he had some more wine at our house. I'm tired of him! Aunt, I've been busy for a year, and I want to rest for a year! Auntie!

Aunt: doesn't he have to tease you after the Spring Festival?

Fan Xiangchang: Are you kidding? After the New Year, I went to work in the county, and there was a new leader in the village. Who is he going to fight?

Zhao Laoqi: Yes, punish him if he quarrels!

Fan Xiangchang: Ha, that's right!

Aunt: Thank you very much then.

Zhao Laoqi: Good man.

Aunt: Thank you very much. Why don't you go to our house for dinner?

Fan Xiangchang: No, are you two relieved this time? Take everything, I'm going to report for duty!

Aunt: Hey, Township Head, this is for you. Eat it!

Fan Xiangchang: No, no,no. Bye, Auntie!

Zhao Laoqi: Goodbye, Uncle!

Performer:

1, Zhao Benshan

Zhao Benshan, 1957 10 was born in kaiyuan city, Tieling city, Liaoning province. He is an actor, director, screenwriter, producer, producer, singer, professor of Errenzhuan in Northeast China, and a national first-class actor.

1982 became famous for starring in the pull-out drama Wrestling Three Strings.

1990 first appeared on the stage of CCTV Spring Festival Evening, and 15 won the first prize of CCTV Spring Festival Evening.

1999 The film "The Director and the Director" starring individuals won the 22nd Hundred Flowers Award Best Feature Film Award, and Zhao Benshan won the Best Actor Award.

In 2003, he launched the "green duet" and founded the "Liu Laogen Grand Stage" featuring the performance of "green duet".

20 10 won the Huading Award for Lifetime Achievement.

20 1 1 Last appearance in CCTV Spring Festival Evening, performing "You at the same table".

20 13 year of the snake announced his withdrawal from the sketch stage before the Spring Festival Evening.

20 14 Deputy Director and Director of Language Programs of CCTV Spring Festival Evening.

20 15 12.30, Zhao Benshan attended the release conference of the film "Happy New Year", starring Zhao Benshan and directed by Gao, which was released on the first day of 20 16.

20 17 participated in the TV series "Country Love March".

2065438+091October 30th, 10, "Liu Laogen 3" officially announced its return, and the two leading actors Zhao Benshan and Fan Wei got together again.

In June 2020, 165438+ 10, the TV series "Liu Laogen 4" ended.

2021February 16, the rural light comedy "Country Love 13" was broadcast on Youku video. On March 25th, the special sitcom "Legend of the Grand Hotel" of the Republic of China was broadcast exclusively in Youku Family Fun Theater.

2. Fan Wei

Fan Wei, born in Dadong District, Shenyang City, Liaoning Province, 1962, is a comedian and a national first-class actor.

1995 first appeared on the stage of CCTV Spring Festival Evening, performing the sketch "Uncle Niu".

200 1 performed the sketch "Kidnapping" in CCTV Spring Festival Evening and won the first prize in the sketch category.

In 2006, he won the special performance award (Golden Key Award) at the 30th Cairo International Film Festival for his outstanding performance in the film "Journey to the Fragrance" directed by Jiarui Zhang.

In 2007, he starred in the comedy film "Blessed Ears" and played Wang, and won the Best Actor Award in the 9th Chinese Film Media Awards.

In 2009, he starred in the TV series "The Happiness of the Boss", and then won two awards: the TV Actor Award for the audience's favorite in the 25th China TV Golden Eagle Award and the Most Attractive Actor Award in 16 Shanghai TV Festival.

20 1 1 played Faye Ting in the TV series "Get married first and then fall in love".

20 13 starred in the war comedy "father and son soldiers" and played Qiao richeng.

20 14 starred in the TV series "Bao Xiao and Sigh" and played Zhou Sigh.

20 16, participated in the comedy film "I am not Pan Jinlian" directed by Xiaogang Feng.

2016165438+13 October, the film "No problem" won the best artistic contribution award at the 29th Tokyo International Film Festival.

On July 20 17, the film "peerless master" starring Guo Caijie was released nationwide on July 20 17; In the same month, the film "Father and Son Soldiers" starring Dapeng was released in July 20 17, and was released nationwide in July 2 1 2008.

In 2020, he starred in the film I am waiting for you at the end of time, in which he played Lin Ge's father Lin. 10 10 month 1 day, the film starring my people and my home was released. ?

202 1 March 21day, the movie "Morning Rain" started. On May 1 day, the TV series "Liu Laogen 4" starring Fan Wei was broadcast. ?

3. Gao Xiumin

Gao Xiumin (65438+65438 09591October 28th ~1August 05), a native of Fuyu City, Songyuan City, Jilin Province, is a national first-class actor, a sketch and a two-person actor.

1974, Gao Xiumin went to a local folk group to sing a duet.

1982, Gao Xiumin joined Fuyu Citizen Art Troupe as an actor, 1986 was awarded the title of national second-class actor.

1992 resigned as an individual actor, began to appear in sketches, and performed on the same stage with Zhao Benshan for many times in the Spring Festival Evening.

200 1 Played the leading role "Lilac" in the TV series "Liu Laogen".

In 2002, in cooperation with Zhao Benshan and Fan Wei, the essay "Selling Cars" won the first prize of CCTV Spring Festival Evening; In the same year, he played Lilac in the TV series Liu Laogen 2.

In 2003, Heart Disease, which cooperated with Zhao Benshan and Fan Wei, won the first prize of CCTV Spring Festival Evening. In the same year, she played the first lady in the TV series "Kite Romance".

In 2004, in cooperation with Zhao Benshan and Fan Wei, he won the first prize of CCTV Spring Festival Gala with the sketch "Water Delivery Man"; In the same year, he played Tao Mu in the TV series "Sailors Club".

In 2005, more attempts were made and the duet was restored. In the same year, the TV series "Lake Shui Sheng" starring Gao Xiumin and co-produced by He Qingkui and Gao Xiumin was broadcast on CCTV- 1.

In the same year, he played the housekeeper in the TV series "Half-way Couple"; Later, he played the owner of the video hall in the TV series "Migrant Workers for Survival" directed by Guan Hu; Later, he cooperated with Hook and played Mrs. Meng in the TV series "County Magistrate Huang Ma Melon"; And also participated in the essay "Shousui Grand View Garden".