Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - Speak hard.
Speak hard.
Second, girls in love are often acting school. They obviously like it, but they can pretend to be as cold as ice. You think it's for yourself, but this kind of performance will only make your beloved boy run away.
Third, there are many fish in the sea. This is not just a man's business!
Fourth, I like reading fashion magazines, enjoying clothes and clothes, and watching all kinds of beautiful women. In the constant aesthetic process, I found that confident women are the most beautiful!
A confident woman is different from a conceited woman. A conceited woman is either outstanding in appearance, talent and wealth, or in power for a while. And a confident woman may have nothing. However, the difference between the two is so obvious. Conceited women are always supercilious and superior to others. With their own advantages, they refuse to nod slightly to worldly things easily, which makes them daunting. A confident woman is more peaceful, tolerant and polite because of her self-confidence. Therefore, like the virgin Mary, she is easy to talk, easy to approach and more willing to be close.
6. A confident woman is not necessarily a strong woman. The fortitude and arrogance of a strong woman always makes people stay away from it. However, confident women do not have such characteristics. They are strong or weak or neutral, but they are easy to approach and like to approach. Strong, they will show a generous side, with a frank and hearty to convince you; Weak women always make people feel pity for her and then want to work for her; They are neutral and long-sleeved. Both men and women admire them very much, which stems from a kind of free and easy self-confidence.
7. Confident women don't necessarily have their own careers.
8. A confident woman without a career will not learn from those little women who worry about poetry and spend her youth in bars, dance halls, alcohol, tobacco and the Internet. Confident women disdain this. They are far-sighted and have enough confidence in themselves. Running a family, they can make parents happy, make husbands feel at ease and make children happy. Every week, they can plan a family's expenses and activities, and often bring some surprises to their families and make them happy. In managing love, they are definitely the women behind successful men. Their silent support, gentle care and considerate comfort make men who work hard outside feel unprecedented relaxed, that is, they trust them more and love them more. Business friendship, they are the best friends, they will appear when they are most needed, sweep away the haze on their friends' faces with confident smiles, and resolve their anguish with gentle words.
There are many fish in the sea. This is not just a man's business!
Ten, a person's life, you can't meet a few people you really like. This retreat, maybe there will be no chance in my life. Happiness in the world ultimately belongs to those who take the initiative to attack!
Eleven, charming women are not all beautiful, just as beautiful women are not all charming.
12. The beauty of an elegant woman is revealed in her bones. Her face may not be as tender as a girl's squeezing water, but the beauty in her gesture and smile is like a light rain in early autumn, slowly infiltrating your body and mind.
Elegant women are independent and confident. Whether she has a career or not, she will always know what her future looks like. Maybe she is just a husband and wife now, but once she loses her financial resources, she will not lose her mind and still be able to support herself.
Fourteen, only a strong woman can have a strong fate!
15. Confident women, regardless of family, career and communication, can go smoothly, and occasionally encounter setbacks. They can always turn around and leave lightly, and they can make things develop in a direction that is beneficial to them.
16. Self-confident women may be tired, because self-confidence will bring people's expectation and trust, and they will walk into one circle after another. And confident women, there is always a way in the shortest possible time, in the most appropriate way, skillfully handle, in the praise of everyone, keep a confident smile and send them spiritual reassurance.
Seventeen years old, there are many good men, but few men are dead set on living with you. Don't give up easily if you can meet them.
Eighteen, people will encounter countless times of love in this life, and choosing the one that suits them best from these countless times is the right way.
Nineteen, the beauty of an elegant woman is not a picture frame, every woman can be her, she comes from your heart. But she didn't learn it on purpose. Stop the superficial imitation and find your heart, and you will find her.
Twenty, when they have a career, they will certainly be able to do it with ease, so that colleagues and opponents at higher levels can sincerely admire her work ability. At work, they are cautious, take the overall situation into account, do things safely and meticulously, and confident women's enterprises also have a confident tomorrow.
Extramarital affairs can be a romantic story, but divorce is a painful accident.
Twenty-two, people will encounter countless times of love in this life, and it is the right way to choose the one that suits them best from these countless times.
23. The beauty of an elegant woman is not a picture frame. Every woman can be her. She comes from your heart. But she didn't learn it on purpose. Stop the superficial imitation and find your heart, and you will find her.
Twenty-four, in marriage, feelings are more real than love.
A confident woman knows what she needs most. Weak water 3 thousand, she only takes one scoop, that is her wisdom. There are countless outstanding people in the world, even martial arts? If you are near-re-embodiment, you can't catch everything. Why don't you just find a person who suits your spleen and stomach and is like-minded, and write the swan song of life? Therefore, confident women are never offended by rumors, because they are self-respecting, honest and natural. Occasionally, some small rumors are just an advertisement for their loyal love.
Women in their twenties and thirties are confident women. Her bright eyes sparkled with wisdom, and her natural smile contained her appreciation for herself. She knows how to turn material consumption into complete spiritual enjoyment; She knows how to debug a quiet and sweet state of mind in hard work and busyness; She knows how to relax and be optimistic at work; She knows how to be sincere and kind in life; She is confident, but never arrogant.
Twenty-seven, in the face of love, a woman's shelf should not be too low, clinging to a man who once rejected you will only increase his contempt for you.
Twenty-eight, in marriage, feelings are more real than love.
Say it very strongly.
Say it very strongly.
First, the company forced me to be a model in Xinjiang. I also got a female model, which is very strong, but I won't be reimbursed after working at this point.
Second, Genting Bingol's birthday cake is very strong! Happy birthday!
Third, this wave of homework at the end of the month is very strong. I wrote all day, 15 in brush, 20 words. I want to sleep after washing.
Fourth, I didn't expect it at all, although it was ok? However, I was very loud, and he just lied with his face.
Five. So far, Ququ has released six original songs and two covers this year, which is very strong.
Sixth, yes! I have nothing to say! ! ! Great! ! ! Very strong! ! ! I obviously messed up my plan without saying a word! ! Very good! !
7.ta_2 is really a very strong and serious person. I don't think they have a special overseas market division and there is no difference. They just convey what obsessive-compulsive disorder wants to express to everyone, which is really a feeling of despair.
Eight, uh-oh, the boiling water stick was taken away. However, the client is just like nothing, yes, the word "sister" is very strong. Therefore, annoying people, no matter how to convince themselves, are still annoying in the end.
It's a little scary to look at yourself with a pale face in the mirror when you are sick like a mountain. Look at yourself with lipstick.
Ten, the city will play Audi TT, stick a Wuling Hong Guang S, this kind of aphrodisiac behavior is very strong.
The female driver on 19 is very strong. Specially open the door and scold the car opposite. despotic
Twelve, I can only say: you commit iniquity, the sky can live, you commit iniquity, the sky can't live. I get along well with my boyfriend. If I don't want to be lonely and empty, I'll ask a netizen, and I'll be fine. Yes! very strong
Thirteen, the whole brother is very strong, the standard brother is very strong, and the class teacher is very handsome.
14. Power failure at night. Well, I'm going to study at night. Well, one candle for each person. Well, it's very strong.
Tea party, my platoon leader, is very strong and experienced. It hit me hard when I came home last year, but I am still very grateful to him. He gave me the motivation to move forward. When I leave, the last thing I want is him.
Thank you, Ernie, Oba, for spending my birthday with me. Eat barbecue with me, sing birthday songs to me and buy me gifts, although my uncle gave me money directly. Haha, very strong! Ouba sings really well, so do Ernie and Uncle. Today, I had an affair with Obaby, and it went all the way to my navel. Can't you have long legs? Ha ha ha, I am convinced. It's hard to be alone abroad, but it's good to have you with me. Love you so much ~
Seventeen, the seventh season of "The Walking Dead" started very strongly, bloody and wonderful, but a little sad, a little scary and a little disgusting. The screenwriter really hung up and couldn't accept the beginning for a while, but the revenge plan must have begun.
18. It is hard to imagine that when a country's currency competitiveness is weak, its capital market can still be strong.
Nineteen, the dollar is very strong, this round of upward trend, the index is at 99 for the first time, the RMB is still below 6. 1, and now it is close to 6.8. The price will be reflected in the inflation in the United States, and the industrial manufacturing industry will almost die. After O 'Hea leaves office, these figures will be true. However, the cost of services in the United States has skyrocketed, and there are not many miracles in consumption. It is said that it is actually very difficult to raise interest rates in 65438+February. It is more difficult for exporting countries to earn dollars. Since the RMB has depreciated, we must resolutely guard it.
The anniversary of your second year just slipped away, and now you find yourself forgetting this special day. Will you be disappointed? Your parents won't forget that they must have seen your heavy rain that day. I went to the first parent-teacher conference after work. The teacher said that Gege has good self-care ability and language expression ability, but sometimes she speaks loudly, like a woman. Well, Manchu genes are very strong! Don't worry, she is thriving.
Twenty-one, Didi is still ok! I don't even know why this trip is free! Very strong.
22. All unhappy love is hooliganism.
Twenty-three, that's quite a tone. Yes, very strong, invincible.
24. Coal is still very strong. Why it is so strong may have something to do with some news, but personally, such marginal plates still don't need too much attention now!
Twenty-five, reasonable, Changchun University Conservatory of Music this orchestra is still very strong. . . Captain Pettitte didn't even arrive at 6, but the trombone was out of tune. What gui is it?
Twenty-six, can you always spoil me as a little princess? I only eat sugar, I don't suffer, and I will be spoiled if I am unhappy. I am wild, temperamental, scheming, nasty, cute and strong. Well, it's cool.
I am wild, I have a temper, I have a heart, I have the means, I am dirty, I am cute and I am strong. Good, but you said I wasn't what you wanted. I'm sorry I don't look like you.
28. Lawyers really don't listen to what their clients say. Today our client is a 60-year-old man. At first, he felt beaten, weak and pitiful. But I didn't feel it until today's trial. Very aggressive, very threatening, and looks strong (there are six people in the family). Instead, the other party, a young man in his twenties, spoke politely, was not in a hurry, and just smiled at the abuse.
Twenty-nine, constantly interrupting others, although it looks very strong and has a strong opinion, it still feels annoying.
30. At this moment, I feel that my wisdom teeth are showing signs of inflammation, but I really want to drink a bottle of iced milk. It must be bright, and nothing else is strong.
Thirty-one, sent such a circle of friends. The straight girl's answer is that it can be very strong.
Thirty-two, very strong, my aunt sent more to my brother. These two sisters won the true story of my grandmother. If they don't eat, they have to. After eating, they will continue to eat.
Jokes hit hard.
One day I bought two little turtles to raise at home, but my wife didn't like it and was disgusted with all kinds of things. I don't know how to put them down. These days, she was suddenly very kind to the little turtles and fed them all kinds of food. Until one day, she played computer and went to the toilet. I went to check and found that there are several big characters in Baidu search box, how to be a good turtle.
1, catch bugs from your own vegetable fields and throw them on your neighbors' leaves. He threw it and shouted, "It's good to catch up with my heart. Run for your life!" " If you meet someone else, you will be crushed to death. "
2. Go to my girlfriend's house by bus today. After getting off the bus, I want to see my hairstyle. There happened to be a car parked next to the cornfield on the roadside, so I went over and took all kinds of photos, using the rearview mirror and the window glass of the car. At this time, a dark cloud floated by and it was dark. I only saw those two people in the car in a hurry to get dressed! Brother, let me explain! Brother Wocao, let me explain!
3. I took the company elevator today and suddenly wanted to fart in the middle, but there were many people in the elevator, so I was afraid of being ashamed. But I can't. So I was ready to lose face and fart. Suddenly a brother burps in the elevator, and then fart fills the whole elevator. Everyone in the elevator looked at the brother, and he was staring at it himself. Sorry, man, I didn't mean to.
4. One day, Xiaoming, who went to kindergarten, ran to his father: "Dad, Dad, what rises in the east and falls in the west?" "Well, is it the sun?" "No, no, five words!" Dad thought for a moment and said, "Santa Claus grandson?" "Wrong, five words! Just those five words! " Dad thought for a long time and couldn't figure it out. At this moment, Xiao Ming said, "Idiot, it's the sun!" " "
Honey, can you accompany me to the gym? Woman: Are you saying I'm fat? Man: If you don't want to, forget it. Woman: Are you saying I'm lazy? Man: Baby, will you calm down? Woman: Do you mean I look like a crazy woman? M: That's not what I meant. W: Are you saying that I love to lie? Man: Well, you don't have to go. W: Wait, why did you go to the gym alone?
6, LZ I go home early after work every day, never go out to play with my colleagues, and rarely participate in company dinners. My colleagues were puzzled and asked me, "Why do you go home early every day?" I said, "Get down to business!" Colleagues are very surprised. What can I do when I go home? I said, "My wife's name is business ..."
7. A male colleague in the company is very black. Once he quarreled with his girlfriend, and the woman said, "Look at your long embarrassment and burn the boiler." The man said, "What's wrong with black? People call me a handsome African guy. " The woman smiled.
8. I went to the bathhouse to take a bath with my colleagues today. The water in the pool was a little hot, so I finally got down. The water reached my neck, and I chatted with my colleagues and said, "The water is really hot today." I made a tea blowing action with my mouth, and then I habitually took a sip. ...
9. There is a buddy who is in a long-distance relationship. Because I like my girlfriend very much, I am afraid that my feelings will fade for a long time, so I often buy things for my girlfriend online. At first, his girlfriend was very happy, so she received express delivery every three to five times. Later ... later ... my buddy's girlfriend hooked up with the courier.
10, a friend has a female friend in do miss. One day, a friend asked the woman, you are so beautiful that you can be a mistress. The woman said, "If I were a mistress, my heart would be dirty", which made my friends respect.
1 1. Every time I watch "Voice", when I see four tutors listening to students singing, I feel that their expressions are like squatting in a pit, then constipation, and then unobstructed! Praise me with the same feeling …
12, watch a little and talk about the car accident of the female host when she was young, and she lost her memory before she was three years old. what can I say? I didn't have a fucking car accident. I don't remember anything before I was five. Maybe I was born retarded.
13, a roadside stall last night,/kloc-six friends aged 0/0, 10 bottles of beer, drank them all, swore to each other and cried bitterly. It turns out that they have graduated from primary school and are reluctant to leave. Shit, is the baby swollen now?
14. There is a rumor in Weibo that when you sleep, you suddenly kick your leg because your brain thinks your body is dying, so it will send out a pulse to wake up your body. The real reason is that the brain thinks you will die if you live like this. That's good. Kick to celebrate.
15. I told my roommate that I had an appointment with a girl for the night. When I left home, my roommate reminded me: "Take safety measures and protect yourself, if you don't want me to lend it to you." "No, no, I have it myself." Then I immediately opened the drawer, dug out a knife and went out with it.
16, the husband of a female colleague gave her a meal and left without saying anything. Someone asked her, who is that man? She said delivery guy. Ask again, why not give money? She said she didn't have to give it. She just wants to sleep with him at night.
17. As a quality person, when I want to smoke, I will ask people around me if I can smoke. I'll smoke if others say yes. If someone says no, then I'll slap him first and then smoke.
18, that April fool's day, the teacher who never called the roll at ordinary times suddenly called the roll. Some students secretly took out their mobile phones to report secrets. The teacher saw it and said happily, "Just make a phone call and see who believes you." So this classmate hit the teacher and the teacher was killed ... This story is unbearable.
19, he took his girlfriend home and bit her ear gently on the way: "I'll show you my housekeeping skills later ..." "Damn it, people won't come!" The girlfriend said shyly. Arriving at the door, he immediately opened his arms in front of the door and said loudly, "I won't let you in!" " "
20. The craziest person in our company is the doorman. The old man is so stubborn that no one is afraid. He hit the office director, department manager and workshop worker. We are all afraid of him, even the chairman calls him dad when he sees him.
2 1, junior high school teachers hit people hard. Once, a classmate named Guo was asked to answer questions. That guy was stupid and didn't answer for a long time. The teacher can't stand it. He came up to him with a pointer and asked, "Guo, where are you strong?" The young man said trembling, "I am stronger than the forest." Everyone was silent for three seconds, and then they laughed wildly, hahahaha ... The teacher couldn't hold back, he didn't hit anyone in that class, and he never hit anyone again.
I feel that some women are really sentimental now. I just asked for directions, and she scolded me and even called the police. Hum! Unbelievable. When I put on my underwear, I must have a good theory with her.
23. I went to work by car this morning and sat next to an uncle. I suddenly yawned. Then the car braked suddenly, so I opened my mouth and kissed my uncle's face. My uncle gave me a look of disgust and left. Don't go, uncle. Listen to me!
24. At a party in our company, there were all kinds of drinks in KTV, such as whisky, green tea, gin and tonic, and red wine Sprite. Ask a colleague what to drink. He said: "Wang Laoji vs. Jiaduobao." ……
25. One day, my friends and I went to the library to buy a map. The friend said, "Boss, how much is the map?" Boss: "Three dollars each." The friend thought for a moment: "It's cheaper. Do you want to sell three pieces for ten dollars? " At this time, I thought, friends are stupid. This account, the boss bowed his head and thought for a moment and said, "no, young man, I don't do business that loses money." In an instant, I collapsed and my math teacher died young.
26. Today, the goddess asked me what I am good at. After a little thought, I said to her, "Below." I saw her blush and called me a rascal. I don't understand. I learned to eat 100 kinds of instant noodles in four years in college. Isn't that a specialty? What's wrong with girls now?
27. I'm going to lose weight and skip dinner at night. My mother advised me, "Daughter, you look good now. You don't need to lose weight. " I was moved to tears, or my mother felt sorry for me. Mom continued to persuade: "You used to pack leftovers. Who will eat them when you lose weight? " Tears really came out. ...
28. I drank too much last night and called the goddess for 20 minutes through alcohol. Wake up in the morning, the call time is 18 seconds …
29. In the subway, a man and a woman had a little friction and quarreled. The woman got off at the station. The woman just got off the bus, hesitated, rushed up and slapped the man, then turned and ran. As a result, a group of people rushed up and squeezed the woman back and didn't go down. Then the man rushed up and kicked the woman, and the woman hit back. After that, they began to beat and scold each other. Then after n stops, it didn't stop. Then suddenly a strong man shouted, "Damn it! I've seen you all standing there fighting! "
30. Express: Excuse me, is this a "little black dog"? Me: Are you ...? Express: I'm from JD.COM. Me: Xiao Mo, there's a delivery for you.
Editor's note: I remember an art class many years ago, and the teacher asked us to draw deskmates. I was very unhappy in that class because I drew my deskmate very well. But she painted me so ugly that I thought she was too boring. What makes me even more unhappy is that her paintings got the highest score in the class because they were "very realistic".
Strong confession sentence
Strong confession sentence
1, I like you! Let's go on a date! What, you haven't promised? I don't think so, GOGOGO.
2. You see that you like drinking water so much, which proves that you already like me with 72% water.
3. Do you like me? Don't you know? Then I will teach you.
4. Can you cook? Can you clean it? No? That's a coincidence. I can do it. Then marry me.
5, you come here, I have a love to talk to you!
6. I have been paying attention to you for a long time. Although you look like a gorilla and don't like cleanliness, I'll give you a chance to marry me.
7. Shall we exchange gifts? From now on, you are mine and I am yours.
8. No one in this world is qualified to like you, except me!
9. All the good things in the world should belong to me, including you.
10, I believe that as long as you stay with me 1 year, you will definitely fall in love with me. If you don't love me, then love you.
1 1, do you know? I love you tomorrow, because I know that if I can't fall in love in this life, I don't expect to meet you in the next life.
12, I can give you any world you want, because you are my world.
13, don't wait for the wrong person, look at me, I am the person you want to wait for most in your life.
14, give me your hand. I want to hold your hand for life, live together and never let go.
15, if you think everything about me is perfect, then you can marry me.
16, one day I want to hold your hand, and I am willing to put all my attachments in your hand.
17, maybe at the moment you reached out to me, I had all the care and enthusiasm in the world.
18, give me your hand and let me block all the sadness and loneliness for you.
19, let me hold your hand with peace of mind, which is the happiness of my life center.
I can meet many people in this world, but I don't have to give you my love.
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