Yellow jokes that pure people can't understand.

The following is about "dirty jokes that old drivers can understand", I hope it will help you. For more exciting content, please lock the encyclopedia of life.

A dirty joke that the old driver can understand.

1. I went to the ATM to withdraw money two days ago. Seeing that the sister paper lined up in the back was really beautiful, I wanted to wear a B and chose English operation. I'm stuck.

2. Me: "Do you have a girlfriend?" Friend: "I see!" " Me: "What does she do?" Friend: "She is inflatable." I gave my friend a contemptuous look and smiled. He said, "Sister Ni, she is inflating the car at the gas station!"

3. Me: "Daniel Wu and I fell into the water. Who will you save first?" Girlfriend: "Save you, and then I will die with Daniel Wu."

I take the bus today. In front of me is a girl with a low chest and a big chest. I actually saw my nose bleeding, and the whole car looked at me with strange eyes. I calmly wiped my nosebleed, took out my mobile phone, dialed my phone number, and then whispered, "Dr. Wang, my nose is bleeding again." After a pause, I shouted, "I'm not doing chemotherapy!" Tell me, how long do I have? " After a short silence, I smiled with tears in my eyes: "Two months is long enough. I'm going to the hospital. " Then hung up the phone. The eyes of the whole car changed, full of sympathy, and the girl with low chest and big waves handed me a pack of delicious facial tissues. Life is like a play, it all depends on acting.

My girlfriend has severe dysmenorrhea. I told her to drink more hot water, and then he said I didn't love her. So I took her to the hospital to queue up for consultation all afternoon. Finally, the doctor told her to go back and drink more hot water.

6. The first time I went to my girlfriend's house, her parents were very enthusiastic. They prepared a sumptuous dinner and kept picking up dishes for me. After I finished eating a big bowl of rice, my mother-in-law asked me with concern: Xiao X, do you want more rice? I was silent and said seriously: Aunt, I have a formal job.

7. Don't always give others hearts. Some people don't eat internal organs.

8. I really have nothing to smash in Korea. I hit Lao Han next door on the head.

9. When eating, I especially like friends who eat a lot and eat for a long time. Everyone was evenly matched and sweaty. After dinner, they cried together with their bellies and shared the blame. If someone is full after eating two chopsticks and sits opposite to watch, the meal will basically be ruined and unhappy. Please make friends with people who can eat, such as me!

10, my mobile phone was stolen. When I reissued my card, I found that the thief had made several phone calls with my mobile phone, and my heart suddenly became cold. Some friends didn't recognize my voice and thought it was really me. None of them is willing to lend him money.

1 1. Whenever I am overwhelmed by a lot of things, I am always inspired and come up with a wonderful solution. I'm going to sleep first.

12, you know? Sade can not only monitor missiles in South China, but also monitor everyone in China, your room information, chat records and bank card passwords. Even if you take your own ugly photos of privacy, Americans will know! So we must boycott Sadr. What should I do if South Korea installs Sadr? Fortunately, I have a third uncle who is a third prize in Korea. You give me 100 yuan, and I can ask my uncle to help you talk about it and ask Sadr not to listen to you.

13, eating takeout at work is really bad for your health. Most of the ingredients for takeaway are not fresh. If it is not fresh, it will be covered up with various seasonings such as acid, spicy, monosodium glutamate and salt. Eating too much will make the taste worse. Eating more and more will bring a heavy burden to the stomach and kidneys, and the digestive system will be damaged over time. Therefore, I solemnly warn my friends: cherish life and don't go to work.

14, working hard in this city for many years. Whenever night falls, I stand alone in the street and look at the lights. I can't help asking myself, "Of all the houses, which ones really belong to me?" So I opened the property ownership certificate that I carried with me, only to know that 12 floor, 16 floor and two sets of single-family villas next to them are mine.

15. The apprentice studied martial arts with the master for many years. Finally, he achieved something. The apprentice asked to go down the mountain. The master said earnestly, "disciple, if you want to go down the mountain, I will test you for the teacher and give you an axe." If you can fill the triangular wooden shed in three days, you can go down the mountain! " The apprentice was happy and went to chop wood with an axe. The teacher and mother on the side asked, "His father, what skill did you test for letting Xiaohu chop wood?" Master said slowly, "It's going to be winter soon. I'm afraid we won't have wood to burn after this kid goes down the mountain! " "Teacher Niang:" ... "

16, Brother: Brother, I have used your second hand since I was a child. Brother: What do you mean? Brother: I live where you lived. I wear your used clothes, you give me leftovers, and I use your used things. It's all second-hand! Hearing this, my brother stared at him and said, Nima, if you dare to touch your sister-in-law, I won't stop with you.