Brother jun, tell me about it

I graduated again, and this time, it was my last graduation. According to my past habit, I should write something to commemorate it during graduation season. But procrastination has been committed, and now I'm just starting to calm down and knock on the keyboard. It took me a long time to think of this melodramatic and secondary topic. For no other reason than to like it. I hope that when I become a sloppy uncle many years later, I can still recall my mood at this moment. I was a teenager when I came back.

This is a sequence.

I was admitted to Cai Zhong after the postgraduate entrance examination in World War II. Half a year's World War II review was spent in the bedroom at home. I shut myself up every day, bury myself in my studies and keep silent. Besides the pain of study and illness, the most unbearable thing is loneliness and depression. I remember saying at that time, "The feeling of postgraduate entrance examination in World War I is that dreams come true; When I took the postgraduate entrance examination in World War II, I felt that I was reported to have a deep hatred. " This seems to be childish now, but at that time, I really held on to it, thinking that if I failed the exam, I couldn't swallow this tone. Later, the second interview was over. When I learned the news of admission and shared my joy with my father who had just finished stent surgery and was lying in a hospital bed, I finally felt the goodwill of the world. The haze that filled my heart before was instantly swept away, leaving only gratitude and emotion, and I wanted to hug everyone. This is my first gift from Cai Zhong.

After the longest summer vacation in the history of Cai Zhong, the school finally started at 10. To tell the truth, I was in a trance in the first year of research last semester. Walking on the campus of Shahe is very unreal. I can't believe I'm here. I can't believe I'm living my dream life. After two years' silence, I, who was once shy, began to fly, made more friends, hung out on different occasions, indulged in making some eye-catching friends, and became more and more cheeky. Gradually, I became the serious and laughing character now. I became a gentleman and a hooligan. Haha, I don't know how to describe it, but I like myself now. This is my second gift from Cai Zhong.

I came to graduate school in a daze and began to face a series of practical problems such as textual research, internship and thesis. At this time, the dream of comfort woven last semester was instantly shattered, and I suddenly realized the huge gap between myself and others. I have racked my brains to get less than a page of resume, the undergraduate colleges I can't get, and the internship applications that are always abandoned, which makes me fade. At that time, I was really entangled and painful. I have no confidence in myself, and I can't find my way in the future. On a cool summer night, Dafu and I strolled on the campus road, telling our anguish. Chatting, she suddenly pointed to the moon in the night sky and said, today's moon is so beautiful. I happened to see the allusions of "Under the Summer Moon" and "The moonlight is really beautiful tonight" in a book, so I explained them to her. After she finished, she looked at me seriously and said, "Zhou Fan, in fact, you don't need to compare your education, skills and internship experience with others. As long as you say what you want to say, it will be very attractive. Don't think so much, learn to speak and practice your handwriting. This is your way. " These words made me want to cry. Because, this is the first time I feel that I have really been affirmed by others. After that, I entered the summer internship of the collection department of China Merchants Securities with my clever and elaborate interview words. Haha, speaking of which, I want to thank Dafu sauce,,, Ai Zhi, Xiaoxue, Jin Jin, Teacher Chen and everyone present. Whether you are happy or sad, I am by your side. You are the biggest gift from Cai Zhong.

Then in the job-hunting season of June 5438+ 10, I started looking for a job with my resume, just like everyone else. After all, most people have some sad stories and unspeakable grievances in the process of job hunting. But I happened to catch up with my illness, which was really miserable. At the end of 10, my tonsils became inflamed again, and then I had a high fever. In order not to delay in finding a job, I was treated with infusion in the school hospital, but my condition became more and more serious. After half a month's delay in the school hospital, when I went to the Third Hospital of Beijing Medical University for examination, it had evolved into bronchitis and pneumonia. And because of the long-term high fever, the joints of the body began to ache, and the ankles, collarbones and backs took turns. I remember one Monday, I endured a high fever and went to a company for an interview all afternoon. Then I took a taxi to the hospital for infusion. It was late when I came back, and my body was exhausted. Dressed in a formal suit and a pair of leather shoes, I stumbled to the dormitory on the road. When I arrived at the dormitory, my mother called to ask me how I was recently. I'm just saying it's okay. It's fine. She heard something was wrong from my cough. I hid the fact that I was sick for fear of my parents' worry, but I didn't hide it in the end. Listening to the voice on the phone, all the sadness hidden in the depths for so long suddenly broke out. I collapsed and squatted in the corner of the dormitory balcony with the phone in my hand, sobbing.

Then, my condition became more and more serious until the high fever persisted and the low fever continued; Long-term roaring and coughing in the lungs; Leg pain and foot pain, walking basically depends on movement; Sometimes I fall asleep and suddenly have low back pain. When I woke up, I broke out in a cold sweat and I was panting. The job search during this period is supported by willpower. Sometimes the more physically painful, the more psychologically excited. As soon as the indomitable spirit in my heart came up, I felt trembling all over, wanting to run, running and shouting until I exhausted all my strength. Only then did I understand what it meant to be neither crazy nor alive. In the process of competing with myself, my biggest gain is the improvement of my acting skills. Before every interview, I stumbled and looked ill. When I met the interviewer, I was full of energy and my waist was so straight that I didn't even cough. After several interviews, the girls in the same group praised me for my good acting skills. I said with a wry smile that I was only good at acting. Now think about it, I had a fever of 39 degrees at that time. How many times did I lie on the bed in the dormitory and lament my bad luck? What a retribution. However, when the opportunity comes, I will still turn over and get out of bed, submit my resume, do the written test, catch up with the interview, and rush on the road of autumn recruitment. I just gnashed my teeth in my heart: fuck karma! Only Laozi is the most rock!

In this way, I struggled for a period of time, but finally I couldn't hold back and lived in the Third Hospital of Beijing Medical University with honor. In the first two weeks of hospitalization, I had a bad fever every day, drew more blood and did more tests, but I couldn't find out what was wrong. I am also afraid of some serious things, but I never dare to show it. I only dare to secretly cry for a while when my mother goes out to buy lunch. I told myself in my heart that I was too young to die. Finally, the doctor said that bacteria infected erector spinae's right side through blood, and suppurative myositis was nothing serious, but it was rare. This just rest assured, settle down in the hospital.

During my stay in hospital, I was also dishonest. I hung a formal suit in the ward, shuttling between formal suit and sick suit, and went out for interviews and written tests at both ends of the day. The attending doctor scolded me several times. One day at noon, I went to a unit of the National People's Congress. When I went there, I had just finished taking antipyretics and my temperature was normal, so I rushed to the interview site. I waited four hours before it was my turn to play. By the time of the interview, I had already started to have a fever. To my humiliation, the interviewer didn't ask me any serious questions at all. He read my resume and only asked me: Did you go to high school? Did you take the college entrance examination by yourself? Are you an in-service graduate student? Is yours a master's certificate or a double certificate? At that time, I really wanted to slap the table and swear, but I still held back. I answered patiently, and it was already past 8 pm when I returned to the ward. I took my temperature, 39 degrees and 7 minutes. My mother and my brother were in a hurry to send me medicine, water, change clothes and apply ice packs for a long time. I lay in my hospital bed, staring at the ceiling, full of despair. Thinking about the interview, I don't know where my future lies. What makes me grateful is that just these days, I received an Offer from the head office of China Everbright Bank. According to my mother's description, I was lying in bed that night with intravenous drip, lifeless. Suddenly I looked up, my eyes wide open, and a word came out of my throat: mom! Everbright corporation wants me! Hehe, so I am especially grateful to the father of Everbright Corporation for giving me hope when I needed the light most. To me, you are really brilliant.

Because I always went out to apply for a job during my hospitalization, I was finally kicked out by the attending doctor when my condition was stable. I thought oral medication could control my illness, but three days later I started to have a high fever, and my illness recurred and threatened. This time, I really can't do anything. I consigned someone to the Union Hospital and honestly stayed in the Union Building for another month. This month, I insisted on walking 10 thousand steps in the corridor every day, keeping my posture straight and steady, but I corrected my abnormal walking posture before and got to the point. Seriously, after this round of illness, my mood has changed a lot. I used to think that life must be vigorous, conquer troubled times and write poems for me. Now I just feel that I can live safely and healthily. Happiness is to help a girl quietly carry a Hello Kitty bag. Having said that, I advise everyone to pay attention to diet and work and rest at ordinary times, and not to take health seriously. Life can't have a chance to start over. Some people say that we hear more sincere prayers in hospitals than in the most solemn and sacred churches. I am convinced of this. Fortunately, after a period of rest and tonsillectomy, my physical fitness has improved a lot. Up to now, I haven't been sick for three months, haha. Of course, people can't be embarrassed, and we still have to be a little timid in this respect. Have a good exercise ~

Finally, I finished this annoying thing like a running account. I also want to say more about the retreat. It's some of my insights over the past two years, about how people should know the world and how to get along with it.

The first question is how people should know the world. I feel more and more that the essence of this world is uncertainty, and there are too many things that causality can't explain. Efforts may not be rewarded, sincerity may not be bought, good people may not be rewarded, and bad people may not be punished. Whether you can get the corresponding "fruit" by investing in these "undertakings" depends largely on luck. Then, why should we keep fighting, why should we stick to our conscience and be a good person? To answer this question, I would like to quote a sentence from Xin Qiji's "He Xinlang", which is also my favorite poem: "I see how charming the castle peak is, and I expect how charming the castle peak is." It is no exaggeration to say that I see how charming the green hills in the distance are! I guess, in the heart of Qingshan, I am also like this. I interpret this word as "full of goodwill to the world." The green hills in the distance have been there. It never gives you shade or rain, but you still find it beautiful and moving. Similarly, the world may never be kind to you, so can you be kind to the world? Be kind to everyone who has never met or met? And be kind to yourself? And this kind of goodwill is really just a choice. Not only that, this sentence also tells us that while being kind to the distant castle peak, we should also believe that it has the same kindness to us. This is even more important. "Expecting Castle Peak to see me like this" means that you believe that your kind efforts will get a kind response. Of course, this is often impossible in the real world. However, people always have to have some faith, don't they? So, I, choose to believe.

The second question is how to get along with the world. We all hope that those who give goodwill will eventually get goodwill and have a happy ending, but what we often see may be that sincerity will eventually get hypocrisy and openness will eventually get suspicion. At this time, what should people do? My answer is: "Fight against the indifference of the world with gentleness". This sentence is by no means to teach you to be a virgin, to make you endless tolerance, or to say: of course, you choose to forgive him. I mean, even if you are treated coldly by the world, you should keep a warm and soft heart so as not to lose your initial heart and become equally indifferent. Otherwise, the warrior who defeated the dragon will become a dragon himself? Indeed, the world is sometimes cruel, sometimes unfair, and sometimes even desperate. However, the way I choose to change the world is to keep myself the same. I want to use gentleness to fight against the indifference of the whole world. This is also my belief.

Haha, I unconsciously wrote a chicken soup article. I remember when I graduated, many friends told me, Brother Fan, stop being a bad guy, you will suffer. What I want to say is, don't worry, I won't "suck" in the future, but I should still be a good person. A person's kind and gentle heart should never change, only the way, degree and discretion are changed. Just like Shakespeare's words: love everything, trust a fever, and don't do anything wrong to anyone (love, lack of trust, don't let people down).

Looking back on these years, although I have suffered a lot and suffered a lot, I basically got everything I wanted. I have never felt that I am smarter and harder than others, but there are still so many results, which can only be attributed to luck, shame and shame. I hope that no matter what kind of situation I have reached in the future, I can always maintain a childlike innocence. But doing good deeds, the future of Mo Wen, is the only way to feel at ease.

Well, that's all I want to say. Finally, I wish everyone peace, happiness, freedom and happiness. Next, work hard, earn more money and be filial to your parents. Let's go

Let's go