The meaning of handshake etiquette

The significance of the Chinese handshake etiquette

The handshake etiquette is said to have originated from Europe and was introduced to our country after the Revolution of 1911. Sun Yat-sen believed that the kneeling ceremony, which has been popular in our country for thousands of years, is a symbol of the feudal hierarchical etiquette system. To overthrow the feudal rule of the Qing Dynasty, its etiquette system must be destroyed.

Handshaking is a part of communication. The strength, posture and length of the handshake can often express the different courtesy and attitude towards the other party, reveal one's own personality, and leave different impressions on others. It can also be used to understand the other person's personality through handshake, thereby winning the initiative in communication. Usually, it is most common to shake hands to express your goodwill when you meet someone for the first time, when you meet an acquaintance after a long separation, when you say goodbye or see someone off.

There are some special occasions, such as when expressing congratulations, thanks or condolences to someone; when the two parties have a satisfactory consensus in the conversation; or when the original conflict between the two parties has some kind of good turning point or It is also customary to shake hands when there is complete reconciliation. When shaking hands, stand about one step away from the other person, lean your upper body slightly forward, stand at attention with your feet, stretch out your right hand, put the four fingers together, the tiger's mouth intersects, open your thumb and slide it down, and shake hands with the recipient.

Holding the other person's hand with the palm down shows a person's strong desire to dominate and silently tells others that he is in a superior position at this time. This arrogant and disrespectful handshake should be avoided as much as possible. On the contrary, shaking hands with the palms turned in shows a person's humility and respect. An equal and natural handshake has the palms of both hands in a vertical position. This is the most common and safest way to shake hands.

It is impolite to shake hands while wearing gloves. Men take off their gloves and hats before shaking hands. Exceptions can be made for ladies. Of course, you don’t have to take it off even when it’s freezing outdoors. For example, if both parties are wearing gloves or hats, they should generally say "I'm sorry" first. When shaking hands, both parties should look at each other, smile, greet, and pay tribute, and do not look at the third person or appear absent-minded.

Except for people who are close to each other and can hold their hands together for a long time, usually just holding hands two or three times is enough. Don't use too much force, but it is rude to touch it carelessly with your fingertips. Generally, the time should be controlled within three to five seconds. If you want to show your sincerity and enthusiasm, you can also shake your hand for a longer time and shake it up and down a few times.

When shaking hands, the hands are separated as soon as they touch each other. The time is too short, as if they are just going through the motions, and they also seem to be wary of the other party. And if the time is too long, especially if you hold the hand of the opposite sex or someone you meet for the first time and hold on to it for a long time, it will appear to be a bit hypocritical, and you may even be suspected of "wanting to take advantage." Between elders and juniors, only after the elder reaches out can the junior reach out and shake; between superiors and subordinates, only after the superior reaches out can the subordinates take over; between men and women, only after the woman reaches out can the man reach out and shake; of course, if the man is the eldest, Otherwise, follow the method mentioned above.

If you need to shake hands with multiple people, you should pay attention to the order of priority when shaking hands, from superior to inferior, that is, the elder first then the younger one, the elder first then the younger one, the teacher first then the student, and the lady first then the gentleman. , first the married and then the unmarried, first the superiors and then the subordinates. If there are a large number of people when communicating, you can just shake hands with a few people close to you, nod to others, or bow slightly. In order to avoid embarrassing situations, before taking the initiative to shake hands with someone, you should think about whether you are welcomed by the other person. If you have noticed that the other person has no intention of shaking hands, just nod or bow slightly.

In official situations, the order in which hands are extended when shaking hands mainly depends on position and status. In social and leisure situations, it mainly depends on age, gender, and marriage. This problem becomes special when receiving visitors: when a guest arrives, the host should first extend his hand to shake the guest's hand. When a guest leaves, the guest should first extend his hand to shake hands with the host. The former means "welcome" and the latter means "goodbye". This order is reversed and it is easy for people to misunderstand.

It should be emphasized that the order of the above-mentioned handshakes does not need to be strict on others. If you are a respected person, an elder, or a superior. When a person of humble status, a young person or a subordinate reaches out first, the most appropriate thing is to immediately extend his hand and cooperate. Don't ignore it and make the other party look embarrassed on the spot. When you are shaking hands, you may wish to say some greetings. You can hold the other person's hand tightly. Your tone should be direct and affirmative. When emphasizing important words, hold the other person's hand tightly to strengthen the other person's impression of you.

International common sense of handshake etiquette and the origin of handshake

There are different opinions on the etiquette of handshake, but there are two most common ones:

1. The handshake ceremony originated from Medieval Europe. At that time, it was the era when knights in military uniforms were popular. Each of them wore a bronze helmet on his head, wore a suit of armor, and a sharp sword hanging on his waist. Even his hands were covered with iron sheaths to show off to others. His arrogance makes people stay away from him. Seeing how his relatives and friends could treat others so coldly, he took off his bronze helmet, took off his iron sleeves, and shook hands with them. At the same time, he said that my right hand is not used to hold a sword to kill you. This is the origin of the handshake.

2. Handshakes first occurred in the era of slash-and-burn farming. At that time, people often carried weapons such as stones or sticks in their hands during hunting and war. When they meet strangers, if no one has any ill intentions, they must put down what they are holding and open their palms to let the other person touch their palms to show that there are no weapons hidden in their hands. This custom gradually evolved into today's handshake etiquette.

International handshake etiquette case analysis

1. Li Yang was the manager of a certain unit. One day, he was invited to attend a dinner. The dinner was huge in scale and gathered people in the workplace. successful people. At the banquet, Zheng Rui was introduced to Ms. Cao by a friend. In order to show his friendliness, he first extended his hand, but Ms. Cao didn't respond and was still chatting and laughing with her friend beside him. Zheng Rui felt very embarrassed and felt that he could no longer retract his hand. After holding on for about 20 seconds, the lady still refused to cooperate. Later, he said anxiously: Mosquito! Switch to hunting unwarranted mosquitoes. This scene made everyone around him break out in a cold sweat. Li Yang also left with a blushing face.

Analysis: The embarrassment caused by not understanding the common sense of handshake etiquette, and not understanding that when a man shakes hands with a woman, the woman should extend her hand first, and then the man shakes her hand. If the woman does not take the initiative, the man should not extend his hand presumptuously. At the same time, the same is true in front of elders and leaders. As long as the elders and leaders do not extend their hands, do not extend your hands in advance. However, if a lady, elder or leader extends your hand, immediately extend your right hand to shake hands.

2. A foreign reporter was going to interview the Chinese Prime Minister. When he came forward very enthusiastically during the meeting, he stretched out his hand to shake hands with the Chinese Prime Minister. At this time, the Prime Minister had no choice but to stretch out his hand to shake hands with him, but After shaking hands, the reporter actually wiped his hand with a handkerchief and said: How can I shake hands with someone who has fought in a war? It's terrible. At this time, in order to relieve the embarrassment, the Prime Minister also took out a handkerchief and wiped his hands, then put the handkerchief into the trash can and said: It is no longer possible to wash this handkerchief.

Analysis: You cannot wipe your hands with anything after shaking hands. This is disrespectful to others. At the same time, if you do not respect others, others will not respect you.

The importance of common sense about international handshake etiquette

1. Improve personal self-cultivation

Understanding handshake etiquette is an important manifestation of a person’s self-cultivation. If a person goes into social situations continuously If you don’t understand the most common handshake ceremony, it will definitely be full of loopholes, and others will definitely think that you are a very uncultivated person. On the contrary, if a person knows the common sense of handshake etiquette, when should the handshake be shaken, how long should the handshake be, and how strong it should be. If you are able to grasp more or less with ease, then this person will be able to have both sides of the situation in social situations.

2. Conducive to friendly communication

Understanding international handshake etiquette can help friendly communication with others in social situations, deepen understanding and trust between both parties, and also help individuals and The image of the company and the benefits of the company.

International principles of handshake etiquette

1. Form of handshake

1. Equal handshake: Equal handshake is also called a standard handshake;

Specific style: both parties hold each other's hands with their palms to the left;

Meaning of expression: a simple and polite way of expressing friendship;

2. Double-grip handshake : An American politician's handshake;

Specific style: When holding the other person's right hand with your right hand, use your left hand to hold the back of the other person's hand, forearm, upper arm or shoulder;

Meaning of expression: a way of being enthusiastic, sincere, honest and reliable, trusting and friendly to the other party;

3. Dominant handshake: also called a controlling handshake;

Specific style: use Hold the other person's hand with the palm facing down or to the left;

Expression meaning: active, arrogant, dominant; in a position to dominate others;

4. A humble handshake : Also called a begging handshake; a submissive handshake;

Expression meaning: respect and admiration for the other party; being humble, approachable, and willing to be dominated by the other party;

5. Death The specific style of the fish-style handshake: when shaking hands, extend a hand without any strength, texture, or display any information;

Meaning: indifferent, passive and arrogant; or cowardly in nature;

6. Finger-pinching handshake

Specific style: Holding the other person’s fingers or fingertips intentionally or unintentionally;

Expression meaning: Expression between opposite sexes Reserved and steady. People of the same sex express indifference, unfamiliarity or high status;

7. Vise-style handshake

Specific style: two hands holding each other, the tiger's mouth touching, the grip is deep and tight, A long time;

Expression meaning: longing and concern after a long separation, or rivalry between friends;

9. Palm-grabbing handshake

Specific style: The two hands hold each other, not letting go quickly, but slowly sliding away, with the fingers staying appropriately in the palm of the other person's hand;

Expression meaning: reluctant to leave, unwilling to leave.

2. Handshake time:

3---5 seconds is a polite handshake;

More than 5 seconds, while shaking up and down to express enthusiasm

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3. The strength of the handshake:

Strong means sincerity, determination, trust, gratitude, etc.;

Weak means indifference, coping, distrust, etc.

4. The speed of handshake:

A quick handshake means: sincere emotion, friendliness, enthusiasm and willingness to communicate;

A slow handshake means: cold, forced, Coping, no desire to interact.

5. The order of shaking hands:

There is a lot of emphasis on the order of shaking hands in social situations. It is generally decided by His Holiness.

Older shakes hands with younger ones: the older one makes the move first

Ladies shake hands with men: the lady makes the move first.

The superior shakes hands with the subordinate: the superior takes the first step.

In social situations, the person who comes first shakes hands with the person who comes last: the person who comes first shakes hands.

When shaking hands between the host and the guest: the host moves first.

6. Taboos about shaking hands:

Do not shake hands with others with your left hand.

Don’t cross handshakes.

Do not shake hands with others while wearing gloves (women can wear gauze gloves to shake hands);

Men should not be the first to shake hands with women;

Shake hands Don't look around when you meet;

Don't shake hands for too long when you first meet;

The handshake shakes up and down, not left and right;

Don't refuse to shake hands with others. If your hands are dirty, you should show your palms and express your apology;

You cannot shake hands with the other party while sitting;

International handshake etiquette common sense is a person's civilized and polite way of interacting with others. The etiquette style of equality, respect, and friendliness, and knowing the common sense of handshake etiquette are signs of a person who is civilized and cultivated.

Expanded content: Women’s handshake etiquette

Correct handshake etiquette for women

1. Understand the order of shaking hands

In formal occasions, when shaking hands The order of reaching out depends mainly on position and status. In social and leisure situations, it mainly depends on age, gender, and marriage.

You should respect the other person’s right to shake hands with you, rather than reaching out and forcing the other person to shake your hand. You can show your desire to shake hands and get acquainted, but you can’t reach out and touch the other person’s hand rashly. military.

After all, some women are not used to shaking hands with men, and some high-status people don’t like to shake hands with others casually. If you reach out rashly, you are likely to create embarrassment for yourself - if the other party does not respond, the extended hand will How do you take your hand back?

(1) When a person with a higher occupation or status shakes hands with a person with a lower position or status, the person with higher status or status should extend his hand first.

(2) When a woman shakes hands with a man, the woman should extend her hand first.

(3) When a married person shakes hands with an unmarried person, the married person extends his hand first.

(4) When an older person shakes hands with a younger person, the older person should extend his hand first.

(5) When an elder shakes hands with a junior, the elder should extend his hand first.

(6) When a person who comes first in a social situation shakes hands with a person who comes late, the person who comes first should extend his hand first.

(7) The host should first reach out and shake hands with the visiting guests.

(8) When a guest leaves, he should first extend his hand to shake hands with the host.

Remind you that the most important thing when shaking hands is to know who should reach out first.

2. Pay attention to the strength of the handshake.

Some women always stretch out their fingers gently when shaking hands, giving a shallow squeeze, or even the entire palm is straight. This action automatically What you think is elegance is actually disrespectful to the other person. Some men shake hands too hard, seeming to express deep feelings, but they may have hurt the other person, and the other person is unable to express their pain. Therefore, it is not good to be too heavy or too light, as long as you can hold the other person's hand securely.

3. The posture when shaking hands

The purpose of shaking hands is to convey to the other party a feeling of sympathy or a pleasant meeting. If the body is stiff and upright, it will appear too arrogant and contemptuous of the other party. . A good and decent handshake must be done by leaning slightly forward, with a pleasant smile on your face, and shaking hands with greetings such as "Nice to meet you." When implementing this etiquette, it is very taboo for the person shaking hands to look around or be uneasy, as this can easily make others feel unpleasant.

Gloves must be taken off when shaking hands. Women cannot shake hands with others unless they are wearing evening wear and decorative gloves. If you have the habit of smoking, never change your hand to hold a cigarette while shaking hands. You should put down the cigarette and then reach out to shake hands.

4. Control the time of handshake

No matter how happy you are to meet, or how honored you feel to be able to meet the other person, you'd better control the time of handshake. After all, it's a long time. It is easy to sweat when shaking hands and being excited. If you wipe off the sweat on your hands immediately after shaking hands, the other party will misunderstand. However, if you do not wipe off the sweat on your hands, your sticky palms will feel uncomfortable. Therefore, the handshake time should be 3 seconds. ~5 seconds is appropriate, which allows you to express your feelings without causing inconvenience to the other party.

5. Precautions for shaking hands

In addition to these techniques, there are also some things that should be paid attention to. For example, when shaking hands, do not hold newspapers, briefcases, etc. in the other hand. Don't put things away or put them in your pockets, but hang them naturally;

Women can wear gauze gloves to shake hands with others in social situations, but men cannot wear gloves when shaking hands at any time. ; Unless you have eye diseases or special reasons, do not wear sunglasses when shaking hands; No matter women or men, do not easily refuse to shake hands with others;