Why do some people fall in love at the beginning, but then gradually become cold?

Hello, I'm Zhou Xiaopeng. I love the founder of our college. I am a psychological counselor, focusing on solving emotional and psychological problems in marriage and love.

1, the advantages gradually fade and the disadvantages gradually emerge.

Both men and women, when they are just together, will try to leave a good impression on each other, deliberately hide their shortcomings in front of each other and highlight their strengths. Therefore, two people who love each other from the beginning are full of each other's advantages, and because of this, they will place a lot of expectations in their hearts when establishing a "personal design" for each other.

However, when the relationship is gradually stable, both parties will feel that their feelings are already very stable, so they will show their shortcomings intentionally or unintentionally. In this process, the other party is definitely not used to it. First of all, long-term coexistence will dilute each other's advantages and even become accustomed to it; Secondly, the outstanding shortcomings will make people feel cheated and lost.

When the other person's "personal design" slowly collapses in his heart, two people who once loved each other may drift away.

2, the pace of growth is inconsistent, resulting in an imbalance between the two.

Many couples or couples, when they first started together, were in the state of relatively equal in terms of knowledge, ability and economy. So at that time, two people were equal, and they could understand each other, support each other and accommodate each other.

But when two people have been together for a long time, it is likely that there will be barriers. For example, one party has made small achievements in his career, but the other party has been standing still. Faced with such a situation, the "leader" who walks in front will feel very tired because the other party can't control himself; And the "followers" who follow will be very tired because they are always catching up.

Therefore, the inconsistency of growth rhythm is likely to make two people who love each other become strangers and even blame each other in the process of getting along.

3. The novelty fades and no new attraction is established.

When love is budding in the heart, both men and women are full of curiosity about the people they love. That kind of freshness, that kind of feeling that opposites attract each other, will make two people want to get closer and closer, or even be closely connected and inseparable.

However, the novelty will always fade. When two people enter a stable period from the period of passionate love, there will be estrangement in their hearts, and they will even doubt each other's sincerity and feel that the other person no longer loves themselves. In the long run, if two people do not establish a new attraction and there is nothing to maintain love, then this relationship will gradually decline.

Therefore, in the process of getting along with men and women, we should constantly change and improve ourselves, so that our feelings and ourselves can be "changed". Externally, it can give the other party a refreshing feeling, internally, it can make the other party want to get closer and understand more. Only in this way can the tree of feelings be evergreen.

Consultation on marriage and love, welcome to pay attention to private letter me! Pay attention to WeChat official account: Zhou Xiaopeng Emotional Training Camp