The cruel grandmother cut off her family ties, and her granddaughter refused to meet her 28 years later: Do people have the right not to forgive?

There should be forgiveness and unforgiveness in this world.

Does anyone have the right not to forgive?

01

I saw a mediation program on an online radio station. The reporter was commissioned by the 84-year-old Grandma Xiong to find her granddaughter who was out of town.

Since the 6-year-old granddaughter left her grandma, she has not seen her granddaughter for 28 years, and she did not even notify her granddaughter of her wedding.

When the reporter found the granddaughter, her reaction was beyond the reporter’s expectation—she refused to meet her and was unwilling to watch the video her grandma had recorded for her.

She even said very coldly, "When she calls me at the end (before her death), I will go and take a look."

Why is the granddaughter so cruel? Finally, the show gave me the answer.

It turns out that the old man’s son, the granddaughter’s father, passed away 28 years ago, leaving behind a pension and real estate. The old man and his daughter-in-law had a dispute over this inheritance, and they even cruelly took the daughter-in-law and the young child into their home. The granddaughter kicked her out of the house and left the couple to fend for themselves.

In the past 28 years, when the granddaughter and her mother were struggling to make ends meet, the old man never thought of asking them to help them.

Now that her granddaughter has a successful career and a stable life, she remembers that she still has a bloodline left behind, hoping to put her past grievances to rest and stage a happy reunion.

When the reporter learned all this and asked the old man if there had been any conflicts before, the old man said, "I don't even know what conflicts have happened..."

There is no sincere reflection, and there is no heart-to-heart repentance. I only know how to play the weak card, "I am already so old, and I am taking it one day at a time."

After reading such details of the previous relationship, I can completely understand the granddaughter's indifference towards her grandma: it is reasonable and reasonable for her to receive retribution for her own sins.

Of course, for the sake of ratings, reporters on a program like this must ignore this and forcefully pour chicken soup on it.

In the end notes, the column wrote this paragraph, "No matter what conflicts have occurred between you, it has been so many years. There is no doubt that the old man's love for you. I hope you can use it." Treat the old man with tolerance and peace of mind..."

I really want to ask the reporter, "How do you see that the old man's love for his granddaughter is unquestionable?"

Just based on that? She had ignored her granddaughter for so many years, and then when she got old, she finally remembered that she had a granddaughter that she had kicked out of the house?

Love is not like this.

If she really loves her granddaughter, no matter how deep the conflict is, she will show mercy to her mother;

If she really misses her granddaughter, even if there is a quarrel, she will still show mercy. He will try every possible means to express his love for his granddaughter.

My granddaughter said that as vicious as she is, I am just as vicious as she is. I am just like her.

This is just out of anger. From the sound of it, my granddaughter is a well-educated person. Although she is angry, her words are always controlled.

She is not as vicious as grandma. She did not beat her, let alone scold her. She just fulfilled her wish and disappeared from her world. Is there anything wrong with this?

02

This incident reminds me of Zhou Libo.

When he was hosting a certain program, he encountered his daughter who had been put up for adoption since she was a child and refused to recognize her biological sister.

My younger sister believes that "the grace of raising is greater than the grace of giving birth" and is very grateful to her adoptive parents, but she does not want her adoptive parents to meet her biological parents to avoid embarrassment and sadness to her adoptive parents. As a result, she encountered Zhou Libo's moral kidnapping.

He constantly emphasized that his biological parents must have something to hide, accused his sister of being selfish and narrow-minded, and used various fierce words to force his sister and her family to recognize each other.

"(If you disown your parents) you will never be happy. If you want to be happy, you should accept it." Only then did they find out that she was adopted. For so many years, even in the same town, her biological parents had never seen her.

She has no feelings for them, and it would be embarrassing to have to recognize them all at once.

As a result, the program team ignored everything and directly arranged for his biological parents to come on stage to meet his sister. Zhou Libo felt like a villain who had finally achieved success.

Later I found out that my younger sister was deceived into appearing on the show. I didn’t know that I was going to face this kind of forced recognition battle.

Moreover, when his sister was two years old, this biological father went to her adoptive parents’ home to extort her, saying, “Give me money, and I won’t bother you anymore.” Finally, he spent thousands of dollars on her.

Are you surprised or surprised?

In fact, it is not surprising. Such parents who can cruelly abandon their children have long abandoned their own conscience, and it is not surprising that they can do even more disgusting things.

It’s just that people like Zhou Libo in the world like to play the role of moral angels. They like to persuade people to put aside their grudges and make the world unified, but they can’t even talk about the most basic rights and wrongs and respect.

What about themselves?

You can tell by looking at Zhou Libo's performance in life. He has never let anyone who has wronged him, not to mention that he will repay even small things. Even Guan Dongtian, who was once kind to him, still It’s not that the friendship is cut off after the value of use is lost.

This is exactly what Mr. Lu Xun said, "Those who harm others but oppose retaliation and advocate tolerance must not get close to him."

Chinese people are known for three things. A bad habit: likes to kidnap morals, likes to protect the weak without principles, and likes to make confusion on issues of right and wrong.

It seems that as long as a person gets old, weak, and admits his mistakes, no matter what bad things he has done, outsiders must forgive him.

If you don’t forgive, you are intolerant of being narrow-minded and small-minded. Everyone will condemn you, as if you were the one who made the mistake.

For example, if a man cheats on his wife in life, if the woman does not forgive him, the man will complain, "I have admitted my mistake, what else do you want?"

Outsiders will also think that women Too pretentious and doesn't care about family and children.

I especially agree with what the granddaughter said to the reporter in the first story, "She can't do whatever she wants."

Twenty-eight years ago, she gave her granddaughter away for money. I kicked my daughter-in-law out of the house and severed my family relationship, and now I hope that the family relationship will be miraculously restored, and my granddaughter will hug her as if she has not been harmed - is this treating me like God?

People always have misunderstandings, thinking that when an old man gets old, walks tremblingly, and has a kind face, he will become a good person.

But I don’t know that the strong will always be strong, the vicious will always be vicious, even if the body is weak, the soul will still be strong——

Can you imagine that Empress Dowager Cixi would repent of her treatment of Guangxu in the end? Too harsh?

No, she will poison him and drag him to death, "From birth to death, you can't leave my hand."

Although this is unofficial history, in the end She can do this.

03

Guo Degang has always been known in the cross talk circle for his hatred of evil. He himself does not hide this, and he never fails to ridicule those who suppress him. Of course, the side effects of this It increases the difficulty of survival of Deyun Society.

A reporter once asked his partner Yu Qian about this, "Are you worried that Guo Degang's character will worry the future of Deyun Club?"

Yu Qian said, "Not worried. Fortunately, Guo Degang is like me. If Guo Degang were like me, there would be no Deyun Society."

Yu Qian is a man of great wisdom. He knows very well that the reason why he does not hate evil as much as Guo Degang is not because of himself. How tolerant, but he has not experienced as many ups and downs as Guo Degang.

"I don't say much (I can't stand it), and I don't need to cause these things, because I haven't been deeply affected by them."

In layman's terms, it means there is no urgency. No, there's no point in doing this. If the situation is really urgent, Yu Qian will probably be even more difficult to deal with than Guo Degang.

There is no real empathy in the world. Many times, advising people to forgive and let go is just to gain a sense of moral superiority.

As Guo Degang said, "If you don't understand any situation, I advise you to be generous. You should stay away from such people, because when lightning strikes him, you will be harmed."

I have always advocated that people should try their best to put aside their grudges in order to gain inner peace.

But compared with those people who blindly accept moral kidnapping, I support one thing more: the injured person has the right to choose first.

If someone has hurt you, forgive if you think forgiveness will bring you peace; if you feel comfortable not forgiving, don’t forgive. The choice is yours, and outsiders have no right to judge.

This world should not be about making mistakes when you want to, and then being forgiven when you want to be forgiven.

If this is how the world works, it is harming good people.

If a person hurts others, even if it is unintentional, and can be forgiven by others, that is your blessing and the kindness of others, but not necessary.

If a person really knows that he is wrong, he will not force himself to be forgiven, because this in itself is a secondary harm to others.

They will quietly change their ways and regard eternal guilt as a means of atonement.

Those who force themselves to be forgiven are selfish when they make mistakes and selfish when they admit their mistakes. They only think about themselves.

There should be forgiveness and unforgiveness in this world.

Forgiveness is the kindness of human nature, and not forgiving is a warning to future generations - if this person has a conscience, then not forgiving will become a wake-up call in his heart; if he has no conscience, not forgiving or not will be a warning to him. It doesn't make any sense, anyway, they will always feel that others owe them.

Not forgiving is the smallest form of justice. The world needs something like "Eternal Words to Awaken the World" to remind us that we must bear the consequences of our actions.

The ancients said: How to repay kindness with kindness?

It is already very good for mortals to be able to distinguish between grudges and grudges, repay favors with kindness, and take revenge with hatred.