A humorous short conversation between two people.

Sometimes when chatting with friends, I always like to send some funny jokes or sentences. The following is a short and funny conversation between two people, which I compiled for you. I hope it will help you.

A short and funny conversation between two people (hot article)

1. I want to buy a tank. Then buy it. Can't afford it, it's so expensive. Take a credit card and swipe it. What should I do if I want to return my credit card and I can't afford it? You have a tank. ?

The fun of winter is to put your cold hand into the collar of the person in front, and then watch TA shrink her neck.

3. wife:? How does the fish-flavored shredded pork taste? Husband:? Just so-so ? Wife:? How about grilled eggplant? Husband:? Not bad. ? Wife:? How about Mapo tofu? Husband:? Not bad. ? Wife:? Can you die if you say a good fucking word? Husband:? The rice is so hard! ?

Boys actually have three balls, I don't know if it's normal or not! Because he was embarrassed to ask his classmates, he decided to ask his brother. At dinner the next morning, he asked his younger brother, Brother, would it be strange if we both had five balls? After listening to this, his brother was surprised and asked him, huh? Four? ! ?

5. What songs do you all like to listen to in Eason Chan? Let me talk about it first. I like listening to his "I cried when I joined the Party" best, and the English name seems to be "Crying within the Party". . . (@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫)

6. I just told a joke to my deskmate happily. When I finished laughing, he also laughed wildly. After laughing, he asked me blankly: Hey, is this the joke I told you yesterday?

7. Only one student of Shanghai Jiaotong University failed in basketball class this semester, and that is Yao Ming. Because in the theoretical exam? Try to explain the reasons for the vigorous development of basketball in China from the perspective of socialist core values. . ? Briefly describe the changes of human muscle movement during three-step layup, and draw a chart? . ? Taking the lockout of NBA as an example, briefly describe the disadvantages of capitalist labor relations? And then what? What should we learn from Yao Ming? He answered all these big questions wrong. (@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫)

8. A young man approaches a girl he loves every day, but he doesn't have the courage to tell her. One night, the two of them met again in the garden. The girl thought of an idea and said, I heard that the arm length of a man is exactly equal to the waist circumference of a woman. Can you believe it? Let's have a try! ? Young man:? Wait a minute, I'll find the rope right away. ?

9. Husband:? I never do anything that I regret. ? The wife said sarcastically:? Then why do you always say you regret marrying me when you quarrel?

10. Last night, my father was drunk and lying unconscious in bed, and suddenly he said dreamily, Ouch! I dare not drink, really dare not drink! Mother was angry and wanted to laugh, so she pulled up her sleepy father and put a glass of water in his hand: Come on! Have another drink. Dad smiled shyly: I'll go first! He closed his eyes, looked up and drank the wine, and went back to sleep.

A short and interesting conversation between two people (classic)

1.？ There are two people walking back to back on the earth, one is the east and the other is the west. How can they meet? We are playing a brain teaser. This question is a bit difficult, and everyone is thinking about it. He burst out laughing. Ha ha ha, what a wonderful answer! ? He announced his answer:? Put a bowl of noodles in front of them! ? Well, the reference answer was originally: two people can walk backwards!

2. A man kneels in front of an anonymous person and makes love. Woman:? What are you doing? You have knelt down in front of other women, and now you want to lie to me? A man:? Honey, I'm practicing! ?

Every time I eat delicious food, my first reaction is to think of my girlfriend. ? Has she eaten this? She should really want to eat this, right? Be sure to find a chance to let her taste it, too. ? In essence, this is the affection of one foodie for another foodie. . .

I found that I can only sing two lines of Jiangnan Style. The first sentence: Oppa Gangam style! The second sentence: Eh ~ ~ ~ Miss Sexy ~ ~ ~

Chatting with a 24-year-old guy at dinner, he smiled and said that he is now? Nothing? I said,? Don't worry, I didn't have a car until I was 28, bought a house at 34 and married my wife at 36. You must have a car in four years. You will buy a house in less than 10 years. You will marry in less than 12 years. He looked at me and said with a red face. Uncle, I got married last year. ?

My girlfriend often says when she calls me? Hmm? And often say when chatting with me about QQ? Oh? . I asked her why, and she said, when typing? Hmm? Do you want to press it twice? Oh? Should I press it when I make a phone call? Oh? Open your mouth. Hmm? Don't open your mouth

7. A professor assigned a composition topic to his students: On laziness. In the evening, when he was correcting his homework, he opened a classmate's notebook and saw that the first page was blank and the second page was blank. He turned to the third page, which read:? This is laziness! ?

8. Interpretation of cheung kong graduate school of business Logo-they are all small, and a couple are entangled!

Yesterday, I had a drink with my girlfriend's father. We all have too much, and we have the urge to cut ourselves off. I don't remember how much we drank, but I remember that there were bottles all over the table, and my girlfriend's father patted me on the shoulder: bro. Next to my girlfriend and mother, I smiled. I actually took a look at my future mother-in-law and smiled at my future father-in-law: Look, you are blind, and my sister-in-law smiled. Nima, I will never go to her house again before I get married.

10. A senior girl who is looking for a job wants two things now: 1. Someone signed me; 2. Someone married me.

1 1. A woman said to her husband who was having an affair: If you dare to divorce and marry that little demon, I will marry her father. From now on, my son will call you brother-in-law and you will call me mother! My husband fainted on the spot and behaved himself from then on.

12. The rich second generation parked the luxury car in the street grocery store, bought drinks in the store and got on the bus. Suddenly, an old lady was lying in front of the car. The rich second generation came forward to ask the old lady: What's wrong with you, old lady? The old lady said:? I don't feel well. Your car knocked me down. I won't get up until I pay 10 thousand 8 thousand ? . The rich second generation said that the old lady just couldn't get up. Can't help it, he took out his mobile phone and called his father? Dad, you give me 500 thousand on the bank card. I want to run over an old lady with my car. After his words, the old lady got up and left, cursing as she walked. Little turtle calves are cruel!

13. once a buddy said to his daughter-in-law, hey, daughter-in-law, I had a divination the other day. The old man said that I 135 years old has a hurdle. His daughter-in-law said: Why? The grave was dug?

14. Next to a barbecue stall for kebabs, a lamb knelt there and looked at the kebabs being roasted, tears kept falling: Mom, mom, did they roast you? Halfway through crying, a little mouse came over and gave the lamb a white look: cry, mb, cry! That's my mother!

15. A buddy has never been on a plane. I don't know what dad said. You must grab a seat on the plane, or you will lose it. On the day of boarding the plane, as soon as the cabin door opened, he went in first, grabbed a seat, and then a man came up and said to him politely, Sir, please forgive me, this is my seat, and my buddy said in an ostentatious manner, get out! I'll drop first! The man said, brother, it doesn't matter who comes first. This is my seat. Dude just said, get out! The man got angry, slapped him and said, you fucking sit here today and fly!

16. Liu Neng and Zhao Si went up the mountain to pick mushrooms. Liu Neng said brightly colored mushrooms were poisonous and inedible. Zhao Si said to give it to the dog first and see if it is ok. As a result, the dog didn't eat anything and shook his head and went out for a walk. As soon as they were well, they ate them all. Zhao Si went out for a walk and came back and said, Grandparents, the dog is dead. Liu Neng was startled, so he quickly poured the prepared soapy water and excrement water and spat out his eyes. After recovery, ask Zhao Si, did the dog die miserably? Zhao Si said that death is terrible. When I went out, the truck ran over me!

17. It is reported that American military satellites show that since 1989! Every September or so, millions of mysterious troops gather in major cities in China and mysteriously disappear after half a month? Later, the United States invested hundreds of millions of dollars in military spending for strategic research, and finally came to the conclusion: military training in schools!

18. It rained heavily in Beijing and the streets were flooded. Many cars can't get through. A dozen umbrella friends stood in the water below the knee. At this time, the eldest brother driving a Land Rover SUV took a contemptuous look at the car next to him, stepped on the gas pedal and rushed over. As a result, the whole car was completely submerged and could not be seen. The owner finally got up from the car and said to the buddy with the umbrella: Didn't the water just reach his knees? The buddy with the umbrella is back: I'm standing on the roof!

19. The office building of the municipal government was completed, and the couplet was missing at the gate. The secretary of the municipal party Committee waved his hand: the first part: telling the truth and doing practical things in good faith; Bottom line: no corruption, no bribery! The city leaders cheered together, and the secretary asked everyone to make a cross-examination. Someone blurted out: horizontal batch: this person was not found!

20. A child gave me 100 yuan to be his parents. When I got to his class teacher, I immediately knelt down and said, Wife, listen to me.

A short and interesting conversation between two people (selected articles)

1. compulsory course of academic history in senior two, 3, one of which is about the enlightenment, and Voltaire is a more important figure. . . In a science class, the teacher asked: which country is Voltaire from? There is a faint voice below: It's China's teacher with a face of surprise+doubt. Seeing the teacher's doubts, the goods added:? Isn't he Fu Erkang's brother? The history teacher held back her laughter and hurt herself.

2. The doctor asked the tutor, do you always say it when you reply to the email? You are very competitive and welcome to apply, but I don't have the right to decide? What the hell does this mean? The tutor said: As a senior intellectual, I can't say? Hehe? All right.

3. In junior high school, the history teacher drew a male student to answer questions, but that boy couldn't. The girl in the back seat whispered the answer n times and was finally heard by the boy. The teacher lamented:? It is said that behind every successful man, there is a woman who silently supports him, but it is too early! ? Everyone burst into laughter and the female classmates blushed. The funny thing is that two people really fell in love later!

4. There is a roommate in the dormitory who is forgetful and forgetful. The dormitory needs a student card to get hot water. This guy always forgets his card. Later, he realized this and always checked whether he had a card before fetching water. On this day, he went to fetch water again. First, he felt in his pocket to make sure the card was open, and then he went to fetch water. A few minutes later, the goods came back with a long sigh. Shit, no weed?

On the Spring Festival Evening of 20 13, Liu Qian took out a millet phone and an egg and handed it to Dong Qing nearby: "Miss Dong Qing, please have a look at this 28nm Qualcomm APQ8064 quad-core CPU. Is there a problem with Xiaomi 2 and this egg? " Dong Qing pretended to study tunnel: "No problem, it's normal. This phone also has a back-illuminated camera and a large aperture of 800mp. " "Well, it's time to witness the miracle!" After that, Liu Qian put the eggs on Xiaomi's mobile phone. "Please give the photographer a close-up and don't blink." I saw that Xiaomi's mobile phone began to emit heat, and a chicken hatched! The audience is full of joy! Liu Qian motioned for everyone to keep quiet. "Our performance is over? Of course not, pay attention! " The camera continued to give Xiaomi 2, only to see that Xiaomi 2 was all red in an instant, and a flame ignited in the middle of the screen, which spontaneously ignited! Liu Qian slapped his right hand on the table, and Xiaomi 2 bounced and flew straight into the air. "Pa" exploded into pieces, and the powder formed a "snake" in the air. Amid cheers and applause from the audience, Liu Qian and Dong Qing said: Happy New Year!

6. A college classmate just came to ask me about Amway? I said I don't know. The classmate said:? Aren't you doing Amway? I said no. . . Students say that many people say that you are doing Amway. . . I'll leave QQ right away, okay? Have you heard of Amway? Deleted. . . .

7. There is a joke about Wang Shi's marriage change: the boss is tired of playing with San Xiao and San Xiao is old. If he is forced to get married, he won't ask for10 million compensation. The boss wanted to keep his mouth shut, but someone offered a plan: to invest 300 thousand on the grounds of improving the cultural level, so that junior three could attend EMBA classes. The boss in the class is like a cloud, and the third one charms the whole class. Within two months, mistress ignored her boss. Case enlightenment: The most effective way for enterprises to dispose of non-performing assets is to pack and transfer them, rather than discard them and digest them themselves.

8. Sixty-year-old Wang Shi is divorced (name a drink)

9. An ugly girl has never been married and wants to be trafficked. One night, her dream finally came true and she was kidnapped. After dawn, the kidnappers thought she was ugly and sent her back to her original place. The woman insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet, threw the car keys to the ugly girl and said, Go? No car! ! ! Q: Does the kidnapper's behavior constitute a gift? Can an ugly woman legally obtain vehicle ownership?

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1 1. Two people are eating a bowl of mustard on the table. One of them thought it was sweet, took a spoonful and put it in his mouth, and immediately burst into tears, but kept silent. The friend asked what happened? He said, I miss my dad. He died 20 years ago. It's a pity that his old man has never eaten such delicious food in his life. Without saying anything, my friend immediately put a spoonful into his mouth and burst into tears. The first one smiled and asked, why are you crying? Friend hate: I miss your dad, too! I wonder how your father gave birth to such an asshole!

12. Alcoholics applied for a job in a wine company and tasted more than a dozen wines. The examiners were stunned. The manager winked at the female secretary, who handed her a cup of urine. After drinking, the drunkard said: female, 23 years old, pregnant for 2 months! Suddenly the whole audience was silent. The drunkard thought that the application failed and said angrily, if you don't give me this job, I will tell the father of the child! Several leaders present said in unison that you were admitted.

13. This morning, the Yanqing County Public Security Bureau in Beijing received an alarm from the masses that there were two bombs under Yanqing East Bridge. The police were sent to the scene together with the explosion-proof team and found a red cloth bag under the bridge. Experts and police carefully opened the bag, which contained several layers of newspapers. The police opened it layer by layer and finally found that it was really two bombs, four twos and a pair of kings. The police said that they should be held accountable! If you catch you, you must hang up and fight. After hitting him, the landlord defused all the bombs!

14. The old farmer went to town to see a doctor, and the nurse said to him, Go! Blood test, urine test and stool test! After a while, the old farmer came back with a pot of shit and said, daughter, the blood has been swallowed, and the urine has been swallowed. This shit really can't be swallowed!

15. Two farm children are chatting. A suddenly asked: Does your cow smoke? Are you out of your mind? How can cows smoke? Oh, well, maybe your cowshed is on fire.

16. There is a long queue in front of the toilet. A gentleman: I can't hold it any longer. Can you let me in first? The person in front clenched his fist and squeezed out a sentence through his teeth: damn, you can at least talk!

17. A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by. A policeman came over and asked, What's the matter? The drunk replied: I don't know, I just arrived!

18. Two female employees are chatting at lunch. The new chairman is really handsome and well dressed. B: That's right. I'm still dressing quickly.

19. Patient: I'll listen to the nurse as soon as I get in? Be brave, don't be afraid! Appendiceal surgery is very simple. ? Doctor: That's right. Patient: But she said it to the doctor who is going to operate on me!

20. Passenger: Your drivers drive at an amazing speed, but they seldom have accidents. What is the reason? The driver said, sir, that unskilled driver died in a car accident long ago.

2 1. Once a soldier came home and shouted in his dream every day: Jane! I can't live without you! The wife asked who Jane was, and A said it was his war horse. A few days later, my wife stuffed A with a letter: Your war horse wrote it for you!

22. Wife: Do you remember last February, when you said you were going fishing? Husband: Of course I remember. Why? Wife: A fish called this morning to say that you have become a father!

After my arrest, they forced me to confess. The day before they hit me, I didn't confess; I didn't ask for Chili water the next day; On the third day, a woman coaxed me into confessing. The fourth day, I wanted to confess, but I was dragged out and shot.

24. A woman had a stomachache, and the doctor told her to take off her pants when she saw the doctor. There was no response after several reminders, and the doctor was impatient: there are still many people waiting in line, hurry up! Do women want to talk or are they shy: you? Take it off first!

25. M: I really love you, but a young lady is pregnant, so I have to say I did it. Wife: I absolutely believe it's not you. Take a closer look at our children. What is like you?

26. When a leader made a report on learning Lei Feng's spirit, he read the manuscript: Lei Feng is not dead! (Laughter) * * * Whispered: Spirit, spirit! The leader went on to say: still in spirit!

27. A woman took a check and went to the bank to cash it. Teller: Can you prove yourself? Puzzled, the woman took out the mirror and took a look. A: Yes! It's me

Judge: You claim that the defendant stole your money? Girl: Yes, my Lord. Judge: Then why didn't you resist? The girl blushed and replied, I didn't know he wanted to steal my money.

I want to remind you that my husband will be back in an hour. But I didn't do anything rude I know. If you want to do something, there is less than an hour left.