Laugh at your stupid couple's funny jokes.

Laugh at your stupid couple's funny jokes.

Laugh at your stupid couple's funny jokes. In life, when many people are bored or in a bad mood, they will choose some funny jokes to make their lives interesting. Funny jokes are very interesting. Let's share the funny jokes of you stupid couples!

Laughed at your stupid couple's funny jokes 1 (1)

My wife took my arm and said, honey, are we like husband and wife?

Me: No!

She gave me a hard pinch.

I went on to say: you see, you are so young and beautiful, holding an old man like me, and people will know that you are a mistress at first glance!

She smiled at once and the flowers trembled.

(2)

The maintenance staff checked the broadband card at home, said it was ok, and then explained to me: broadband is like a highway. If there are fewer cars, it will be smooth, and if there are more cars, it will be congested. Therefore, the broadband is not smooth and has nothing to do with the equipment service, mainly because there are too many users at a certain time, causing congestion.

The second-rate daughter-in-law replied inexplicably: Oh! I see. Meaning has nothing to do with you. You should repair the highway.

(3)

My wife stole money from my wallet during my nap, so I asked her, "I only have this pocket money every month." You still take mine, have you considered my feelings? "

Wife: "I've made up my mind, so I'll be careful when I go to get money from you, for fear of waking you up."

I was a little touched at that time.

(4)

In the evening, my wife said in a circle of friends: I really hate winter. When I take off my clothes, I can talk. It's really annoying

And I can only silently leave a message at the bottom: it has nothing to do with me, it is static electricity.

(5)

The reporter interviewed a couple.

Reporter: Are you willing to sell your husband 10W?

Female bad laughs: Really? Really buy it? Sincere purchase price can also be negotiated.

Remember: Are you willing to sell your wife 10W?

Get out. . . It was much more expensive than this when I bought it.

(6)

I just smoked a cigarette in front of the Internet cafe and saw a couple quarreling. I'm watching. Suddenly, the woman pointed at me and said, if you are one-tenth as handsome as him, I can't argue with you at all.

The man said: joke, I want to be one-tenth as handsome as him and still have a crush on you! Damn it, I'll have a cigarette. I'm provoking who I am.

(7)

When I fell in love a few years ago, my mother was always worried and said, read more, don't worry, get to know it, so as not to hide it too deep!

Now in love, my mother is always worried, saying, if you watch it, you will hurry up. After a long time, when the other person gets to know you, it may be yellow again. .

(8)

I teased my roommate: "There is a kind of person who doesn't like you and won't make you like others. Do you know what kind of person it is? " "You mean the head teacher?" He understood that he had just been hit with a stick.

(9)

Working overtime at night, I was so sleepy that my female colleague said to me, "Let's have an iced coffee when I'm sleepy." I see. I poured a cup of iced coffee, but I was still sleepy after drinking it. I asked my female colleague, "Lili, I'm so sleepy. Iced coffee doesn't work." The female colleague said, "You didn't use it correctly." I said, "Ah, is it wrong?"

The female colleague took the coffee and threw it in my face. I hit a female colleague: "What's the matter, aren't you sleepy?"

Laughed at your stupid couple's funny jokes 2 (1)

I heard that my father-in-law likes playing mahjong in the future. I deliberately accompany him to the park every day, and I also deliberately lose money to him. After a while, he and I became close friends who talked about everything. Finally one day, I told him the truth. I said, "Uncle Zhang, I like your beautiful home. Will you agree to let us be together? "

The future father-in-law shook his head: "No, no!" Me: "Why, don't worry, I will be good to her!" " "

Future father-in-law: "you don't know, my daughter learned from her mother, and money is tight." You two are together, do you still have money to play mahjong with me? " Me: "This ..."

(2)

A young man walked into a newly-opened theme restaurant, and the waiter said, "Hello, sir, our restaurant has launched a Valentine's Day activity, where couples eat to send their lungs and couples eat to send love tofu ..."

The young man waved impatiently and said, "Stop dawdling and give me a gift from a single person!" " "After a while, the waiter brought a small plate of dog food.

(3)

The boy went to his girlfriend's house for the first time and has been moping since he came back. The roommate asked him, "What's the matter? Are her parents not enthusiastic about you? " Boy: "No, her father played Go with me on a chessboard, and I became more and more flustered."

Roommates don't understand: "You are doing well, too. What is there to panic about? " Boy: "When she went down, her father's chess face took on the shape of a house."

(4)

My wife cooked fried rice with shrimp for the first time and filled me with a bowl. I tasted the uneven taste of salt and water, and the food was so dry that it was hard to swallow. My wife asked me expectantly, "Is it delicious?"

I thought it was not easy for my wife to fry, so I replied, "It's delicious, but it's too little!" " The wife breathed a sigh of relief: "Then you did it all! It is rare that you like it! I don't think it suits my taste! "

(5)

Last night, I got off the scale and asked my daughter-in-law, "Will you love me more if I lose weight?" Without thinking, she replied, "Of course!"

I asked again, "What if you lose weight?" She thought for a moment and said, "Then I don't want you. I went out to find a rich handsome guy. " It looks serious, as if she will really lose weight.

(6)

As soon as my daughter-in-law opens her mouth, I know her performance in kindergarten. As long as the daughter-in-law says: my daughter or something. That girl must have done something beautiful! But if you say your daughter from the beginning, . Needless to ask, my daughter must have done something wrong again!

(7)

When I met my father's first love, my mother was very jealous and said to me: At that time, your father almost married that aunt. I am curious to ask: Why doesn't Dad get married? My mother said: I went to buy someone else's ring and found that my fingers were too thick and expensive, so I married me with thin fingers. Me. . .

(8)

Me: "Dad, you have to learn to pay by WeChat." My dad: "Why learn that? It is also convenient for me to spend money like this. "

Me: "so I can transfer money to you, and you can spend it at will, without applying to my mother." My dad came running with his cell phone and said, "Tell me, how do you use this?"

(9)

Mom watches TV dramas online, and each episode begins with a long advertisement. Mother took out a small notebook and wrote it there. I asked my mother, "Why do you write advertisements?" Mom: "I have to remember which products make me stop watching TV dramas and never buy them again!" " "I ... . .

( 10)

In the world of adults, nothing is simple and nothing is taken for granted. In order to eat, you must work; If you want to live a superior life, you have to redouble your efforts; To be a great person, you must be different.

( 1 1)

I asked my friend which unit his wife was from. He: from the Tobacco Bureau. Me: Yes, smoking won't cost money in the future! He: I can't compare with you. Your wife is in the bank, so take the money home! Holy shit. . . What the fuck is this logic? ! !